Chapter Eighty: The Hormone Monster Strikes (Poor Keifer)
The morning after Truth or Dare, the mansion was peaceful.
Too peaceful.
Jay woke up feeling... strange.
Not sick. Not tired. Just... off.
She blinked at the ceiling. Something felt different.
Keifer stirred beside her. "Morning, love."
She turned to look at him.
And for no reason at all, she was annoyed.
"Don't call me that."
He blinked. "Don't call you what?"
"Love."
"But I always call you love."
"WELL STOP."
He sat up slowly, confused. "Are you okay?"
"I'm FINE."
"You don't seem fine."
"I SAID I'M FINE."
He wisely said nothing.
---
They came down to breakfast.
The kitchen was quiet—just the usual crew: Akshi, Chethan, Shreya, Mithun, Keigan on his phone, Keiran with Rex and Ganesha.
Jay sat down. Stared at her plate.
Keifer set a cup of coffee in front of her.
She looked at it.
Then at him.
Then at the coffee.
"Is this decaf?"
"Yes. For the baby."
"I WANT CAFFEINE."
"Jay, the doctor said—"
"I DON'T CARE WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID!"
The table went silent.
Keiran whispered to Rex, "Mamma is scary today."
Rex nodded nervously.
---
Keifer took a breath. "Okay. I'll make you regular coffee. Small cup."
"NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO CONTROL HOW MUCH I DRINK?"
"I'm not—I'm just—"
"YOU'RE JUST WHAT?"
Akshi slowly slid her chair back. Chethan did the same.
Shreya caught Mithun's eye. They both moved toward the door.
Keigan didn't even look up from his phone. "Pregnancy mood swings. Run."
---
Jay turned back to Keifer.
"You know what? I don't want coffee. I don't want anything. I want you to stop LOOKING at me."
"I'm just sitting here."
"EXACTLY. STOP SITTING."
Keifer stood. "Okay. I'll stand."
"NOW YOU'RE STANDING THERE JUDGING ME!"
"I'm not judging—"
"YOUR EYES ARE JUDGING!"
Keigan stood. "I'm going to my room. Good luck."
He left.
Keiran looked at his parents. "Mamma is like dinosaur? Angry dinosaur?"
Rex nodded. Ganesha nodded.
Jay pointed at Keifer. "YOUR SON CALLED ME A DINOSAUR!"
"Rex called you a dinosaur. There's a difference."
"ARE YOU DEFENDING THE DINOSAUR OVER ME?"
---
Akshi grabbed Chethan. "We should go. Now."
Chethan nodded frantically. "Agreed."
They bolted.
Shreya and Mithun followed.
The kitchen emptied in under thirty seconds.
Leaving Jay and Keifer alone.
And Keiran, who was too fascinated to move.
---
Jay turned back to Keifer.
"I don't feel well."
"I know, love."
"STOP CALLING ME LOVE."
"Sorry. I know, Jay."
"I want pickles."
"Okay. I'll get pickles."
"With peanut butter."
"Okay."
"BUT NOT THE BRAND WE HAD YESTERDAY. I HATE THAT BRAND NOW."
Keifer blinked. "You loved that brand yesterday."
"YESTERDAY WAS YESTERDAY. TODAY I HATE IT."
"Okay. I'll get a different brand."
"AND YOU HAVE TO GO NOW. RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE IF I LOOK AT YOU FOR ONE MORE SECOND I MIGHT SCREAM."
Keifer stood slowly. "I'm going. Right now."
"GO!"
He went.
---
Keiran watched him leave. Then looked at Jay.
"Mamma, why you yelling at Pappa?"
"Because he's ANNOYING."
"Pappa's not annoying. Pappa's nice."
Jay's face crumpled. "I know. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm yelling."
She started crying.
Keiran climbed onto her lap. "It's okay, Mamma. Rex says hormones are hard."
She hugged him tight. "Rex is very smart."
"Rex knows everything."
---
From the hallway, Akshi whispered, "Is it safe to go back?"
Chethan peered around the corner. "She's crying now. That's better than yelling?"
Shreya shook her head. "Pregnancy mood swings. They come in waves."
Mithun observed calmly. "Poor Keifer."
"Poor Jay," Shreya corrected. "She can't control it."
"Poor both of them."
---
Keifer returned thirty minutes later.
With pickles. Three different brands. And peanut butter. Two kinds.
He approached cautiously.
"Jay? I'm back."
She looked up from the couch, eyes red. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
"I yelled at you for no reason."
"You're growing a human. It's not no reason."
She patted the couch beside her. He sat.
"I love you," she said. "Even when I'm crazy."
"I love you too. Even when you're crazy."
"Especially when I'm crazy?"
"Especially then."
She leaned against him. "I'm sorry about the coffee thing."
"I'll make you decaf tomorrow. With a tiny bit of regular. Compromise."
"You're too good to me."
"You're worth it."
---
From the doorway, five faces watched.
Akshi whispered, "They made up."
Chethan nodded. "That was fast."
Shreya smiled. "True love."
Mithun squeezed her hand. "The best kind."
Keiran held up Rex. "Mamma and Pappa are friends again!"
Rex and Ganesha approved.
---
The peace lasted approximately two hours.
At lunch, Jay looked at the sandwich Keifer made her.
"What's this?"
"Turkey and cheese. Your favorite."
"I don't want turkey."
"Okay. What do you want?"
"I don't KNOW. I just know I don't want THIS."
Keifer took the sandwich. "Okay. I'll make something else."
"NO. NOW I WANT THE SANDWICH."
He put it back.
She stared at it.
"Actually no. I don't."
He took it away again.
She started crying. "I don't know what I want!"
Keifer knelt beside her. "It's okay. We'll figure it out together."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. It's not your fault."
She hugged him. "I love you."
"I love you too."
---
From the kitchen doorway, Akshi whispered, "This is like a roller coaster."
Chethan nodded. "Emotional roller coaster."
Shreya added, "With pickles."
Mithun observed, "And peanut butter."
Keigan, passing by, said, "I'm never getting married."
---
That afternoon, Jay had a burst of energy.
"I want to bake cookies!"
Keifer, wary but hopeful, agreed. "Okay. I'll help."
"NO. I want to do it ALONE."
"Okay. I'll be in the living room."
"BUT IF YOU LEAVE I'LL BE LONELY."
He sat at the kitchen island. "I'll stay here. Quietly."
She measured flour. Then stopped.
"This recipe is STUPID."
"It's the same recipe you used last week."
"WELL LAST WEEK WAS LAST WEEK. TODAY IT'S STUPID."
She threw the measuring cup in the sink.
Then started crying.
"I don't know why I'm crying."
"It's okay."
"It's NOT okay. I'm crying over FLOUR."
"Flour is emotional."
She laughed through tears. "You're ridiculous."
"Your ridiculous."
---
The cookies turned out fine.
Actually, they turned out great.
Jay sat on the couch, eating one, feet up, looking satisfied.
"I'm a good baker."
"The best."
"Even when I'm crazy?"
"Especially when you're crazy."
She threw a pillow at him. He caught it, grinning.
---
From the hallway, Akshi whispered, "She's happy now."
Chethan nodded. "Cookie therapy."
Shreya smiled. "They're so cute."
Mithun agreed. "They balance each other."
Keiran ran past them. "MUMMY MADE COOKIES! REX WANTS ONE!"
Rex and Ganesha followed.
The mansion felt normal again.
Well, as normal as it ever got.
---
That night, Jay curled against Keifer.
"I'm sorry for today."
"Don't be."
"I yelled at you. A lot."
"You're growing our baby. You get a pass."
She kissed his chest. "I love you."
"I love you too. Even on crazy days."
"Especially on crazy days?"
"Especially then."
She smiled. "Good."
He kissed her forehead. "Sleep. Tomorrow will be better."
"Or worse."
"Either way, we'll handle it together."
"Together."
---
End of Chapter Eighty