But she couldn't move.
Her feet felt rooted to the ground.
Slowly, she lifted her gaze, and there he was.
Nathan.
He entered with his Beta, Gamma, and the rest of his core members, walking past the crowd with ease before heading straight toward the second floor, the section reserved only for them.
Ashley watched him, her eyes filled with fragile hope.
It wasn't as if she hadn't thought about following him. She used to sit there beside him, among his closest subordinates. That place had once been hers, too.
But now… with the way everyone treated her, she knew better.
The moment she stepped near the stairs, someone would stop her.
And that… would be even more humiliating.
So she stayed where she was, clinging to the faint, foolish hope that he might at least notice her, that he would pause, look around, ask where she was.
But Nathan didn't even spare her a glance.
He didn't look.
He didn't ask.
It might have been childish to expect so much… but she had grown used to it. Used to his attention, his protection, his unwavering presence. And now, being forced to let go of it so suddenly felt like tearing away a part of herself.
She couldn't even bring herself to pity her own situation.
So she lowered her head again, forcing down the rest of her food as quickly as she could before standing and leaving for her room.
Unbeknownst to Ashley, however, someone had been watching her the entire time from the second floor.
A pair of cold, dark eyes followed her every movement, unfathomable, brooding, and far from indifferent.
Ashley returned to her room with a heavy heart. She hadn't even tasted the food she'd forced herself to eat, her thoughts spiraling too wildly to focus on anything else. She had never known isolation could feel this painful, so suffocating, so unbearable, and she didn't know how to process it.
Her pillar of support was nowhere to be found. Or perhaps… he had forgotten her too, just like the rest.
The moment she stepped inside, Ashley collapsed onto her bed, curling into herself as she hugged her knees tightly. She lay there without moving, staring into nothingness. She felt like crying, yet she was too drained, and even her tears refused to come.
Negative emotions flooded her mind, one after another, until they became overwhelming. She just wanted it all to stop.
'Would dying end all of this…?'
The thought surfaced quietly, almost naturally, as if escape was the only option left to her.
Her beautiful world had crumbled overnight, and everything she knew turned upside down. It was too much, far too much, for her to bear. She had never realized how fragile she was emotionally… or perhaps, she had simply never been tested like this before.
She had been raised surrounded by love and attention. Warmth had always been constant in her life, something she had taken for granted. And now, for all of it to be stripped away so suddenly… the contrast was painfully sharp.
Just yesterday, her parents would wait for her at the breakfast table, refusing to eat until she joined them so she would never feel alone. They would laugh and talk like a happy, complete family.
And now…
This morning, she was met with cold stares, isolation, and quiet scorn.
She understood what was happening, logically, she did. But logic did nothing to soothe the storm inside her. Emotions weren't something she could simply switch off.
And slowly, helplessly, Ashley felt herself sinking deeper… into the abyss of despair.
Knock…
Knock…
"Ash… are you inside?"
Nathan's gentle voice suddenly pulled her from her misery.
For a moment, Ashley thought she was imagining it. She remained still, saying nothing, afraid that if she responded, the illusion would shatter. When no voice followed, she convinced herself that it was just her loneliness playing tricks on her.
But then—
The door creaked open.
A familiar scent reached her, reassuring and unmistakably Nathan.
Her breath hitched.
With her back still turned to the door, she couldn't see his expression, and she didn't dare to. She didn't have the courage. A part of her wanted to run to him, to bury herself in his arms and cry until all the pain spilled out.
But another part held her back. She felt ashamed… ashamed to be seen like this, broken, weak, and utterly miserable. And more than that…
She was afraid. Afraid that the way he looked at her had already changed, just like everyone else. So Ashley remained still, pretending she hadn't heard anything. A soft, helpless sigh came from behind her.
It sounded just like the Nathan she knew, gentle, patient, and quietly concerned, and for a fleeting moment, hope stirred in her chest. Still, she didn't move. She was afraid… afraid that this was nothing more than wishful thinking.
Then, the bed dipped.
Nathan had sat at the edge.
She felt the mattress sink beneath his weight, and his familiar scent grew stronger, wrapping around her like something warm and comforting. Her body trembled slightly, instinctively drawn to that sense of safety she had always known.
"Ash… I'm sorry I didn't notice you earlier," Nathan said softly. "I thought you'd go straight to the second floor of the cafeteria like you always do when you wake up hungry…"
There was a trace of self-reproach in his voice, so natural, so unchanged, that the fragile hope in her heart swelled uncontrollably.
Maybe… maybe nothing had changed.
Maybe she hadn't lost everything.
And just like that, the tears she thought had run dry came rushing back.
Ashley choked on a sob as she suddenly turned and threw herself into Nathan's arms, burying her face against him as if she could hide from everything else.
But—
Perhaps it was because she was too consumed by her own pain… She didn't notice it at first. The way Nathan's body went stiff the moment she held him. The way he didn't immediately wrap his arms around her like he always used to.
It was only after a moment that she realized. Slowly, Ashley pulled back and looked up at him. And what she saw made her chest tighten—
Nathan's jaw was tense, clenched so tightly it looked like he was holding something back. "Nathan… what's wrong?" Ashley asked softly, her voice laced with both worry and hesitation.
Perhaps she was being blind…
Or perhaps she was choosing to be.
Too many things had changed all at once, and she was already struggling to hold herself together. If even Nathan, her last source of comfort, turned against her, she wasn't sure she would be able to endure it.
So maybe, deep down, she had noticed.
The way his body had stiffened when she touched him. The tension in his jaw, as if he were forcing himself to stay calm… holding something back.
But Ashley clung to denial.
Because acknowledging it, accepting that even he might have changed, would shatter what little she had left.
And right now…
She would rather lie to herself than face that truth.