Still in the Shinomiya residence, Shinomiya Kaguya paced back and forth in the living room, anxiously waiting for Hayasaka Ai to return.
She couldn't quite define the feeling right now—perhaps anticipation, or perhaps fear—until a knock interrupted her thoughts.
Knock knock knock...
It was Hayasaka coming back!
"Milady, I've completed the mission and returned."
Hayasaka Ai's voice came from outside the door. Shinomiya Kaguya suppressed her excitement and hurriedly ran to open it.
Creak...
"Hayasaka, did you find out about Di—"
Eeeek—clearly it was Hayasaka's voice from outside, so why was Brando-kun the one appearing?!
Shinomiya Kaguya's voice cut off abruptly. Hayasaka Ai had poked her head out from behind Diego. For a moment, her outstretched hand froze midair, her entire face going blank as her brain stalled.
I did ask Hayasaka to arrange a meeting with Brando-kun...
But why did he come straight to the house?!
"Yo, Shinomiya Kaguya. I heard you're the daughter of the richest man." Diego raised a hand in greeting. A rose suddenly appeared in his grip, which he held out to Shinomiya Kaguya with utmost sincerity. "Marry me. I'm willing to marry into the family. Please take me in and keep me."
Ah... what is Brando-kun saying?!
Marriage?!
What is this? What is this? What is this? Did I hear wrong? He means he wants to marry me, right?
No no no—this has to be a proposal?!
Isn't this progressing way too fast? In a normal plot, shouldn't we both secretly like each other but be too shy to say it, leading to a battle of wits between geniuses as we try every trick to make the other confess first?
Why did it jump straight to the final step of proposing?!
I knew it—Brando-kun really likes me a lot. But since he's this outstanding, it's only natural that I'd accept, right?
"I will—"
Ah, crap... my voice is stuck in my throat! Come on, mouth—move! Say yes already!!!
Shinomiya Kaguya seemed to have short-circuited her already low-spec romance CPU from the sudden joy. In the eyes of Hayasaka Ai and Diego, after hearing Diego's "proposal," she simply stood frozen in place, making no response at all.
Waaah... I'm such a useless, pathetic woman.
At the same time, the memory sprite was transmitting Shinomiya Kaguya's inner monologue straight into Diego's mind.
What the hell is this? Is this really a conglomerate heiress?
Why does her inner dialogue have so much going on? She's on par with Bocchi. And didn't she hate me?
I really don't understand the people in this world.
Diego's expression turned strange. He gave an awkward cough and spoke: "Um... looks like you're still hesitating. Allow me, Dio, to introduce myself properly."
"My name is 'Diego Brando,' age nineteen. Due to a little incident, I'm currently homeless and seeking a kind-hearted rich lady to take me in.
I'm unmarried. I barely scrape by every day thanks to SPW Foundation reimbursements. I don't act human. I like turning into a dinosaur at every opportunity. I don't like sleeping. I hate the Goddess but spend entire nights tinkering with her necromancy techniques.
Before leaving this world, I'll definitely eat a small piece of bread, then spend twenty minutes going 'wryyyyy,' followed by using the Goddess's necromancy to fall asleep instantly and sleep until morning. I'll absolutely leave all stress and fatigue for the next day. The doctors doing the checkup were so shocked they immediately asked how I was still alive."
"Ah, Brando-kun, what are you talking about?" Shinomiya Kaguya was completely thrown off, her eyes turning into dazed dots. Her good upbringing prompted her to invite Diego inside—after all, leaving a guest at the door was rude. "Anyway, come in first and we can talk."
"Oi, excuse the intrusion—even though I'm already intruding."
The intruder Diego strode in confidently, then flopped onto the sofa without any decorum, as if he were in his own home. He shouted in a practiced tone: "Ko no Dio is thirsty! Bring tea quick!"
"Right away. Please wait a moment."
Soon after, a maid already under dinosaur transformation pushed a cart over slowly and placed the freshly brewed black tea on the table in front of Diego.
Shinomiya Kaguya stared blankly at Diego's carefree manner as he drank tea and ate sweets, inwardly screaming: Why are you so practiced at this?!
Why are my family's maids listening to him?! This is my house, right?!
"Hayasaka, what's going on right now?" Shinomiya Kaguya's reason finally returned. Blushing furiously, she sidled up to Hayasaka Ai and whispered, "Why did Brando-kun come straight to the house to propose?! I-I'm not mentally prepared yet..."
"Kaguya-milady, didn't you already agree to be his vice president in the student council? It's most likely about discussing the campaign speech." Hayasaka Ai remained calm and replied without hesitation. "As for why he's proposing—Dio seems to really like money."
"I don't believe it. He really does like me!"
"If milady already has the answer in her heart, then why ask me..."
But Hayasaka's intel wasn't useless.
Money...
Hiss—
The Shinomiya family has no shortage of money. If I have enough money, couldn't I keep him forever by my side? Couldn't I make him unable to leave me for the rest of his life, becoming a little golden retriever whose mind is filled only with me...
This seems feasible!
A hint of madness flashed through Shinomiya Kaguya's beautiful red eyes as a dangerous idea took root in her mind.
"Milady, could you come over for a moment?"
At that moment, Hayasaka Ai had somehow moved to the courtyard and beckoned Shinomiya Kaguya over, mouthing silently: It's about Dio.
Shinomiya Kaguya, who understood lip-reading, nodded and followed. At the same time, she pressed her hands together apologetically toward Diego behind her: "Sumimasen, Brando-kun. Could you wait just a moment? Hayasaka has something to discuss with me."
Diego didn't turn around. Still facing away, he continued eating his snacks and simply raised one hand in acknowledgment to show he understood.
...
Deep in the courtyard, Hayasaka Ai walked ahead with her hands behind her back. A smile curved her lips, yet it held no warmth. Shinomiya Kaguya followed silently behind.
The two passed the central fountain, walked along paths lined with carefully pruned flowerbeds by the gardeners, and ignored the various statues scattered throughout the Shinomiya estate...
The opulent scenery gradually faded, the surroundings growing deeper and more secluded. They walked farther until they reached the ecological garden under development in the courtyard. The first thing that met their eyes was the familiar swamp area.
Hayasaka gazed at the swamp, nostalgia in her eyes. She spoke slowly: "Milady, do you remember when someone fell from the sky here?"
"Mm... I remember it was a thief who told funny stories..." Shinomiya Kaguya pondered for a moment before answering, then countered with a question. "What does this have to do with Brando-kun? Could it be that person was..."
"Yes. The one who fell from the sky back then was Dio—Diego Brando. Probably because he was covered in mud at the time, milady didn't recognize him." Hayasaka Ai's gaze softened. She removed the hair tie from her side ponytail and gripped it tightly, letting the breeze play through her pale yellow hair. "He's too cunning. There's never been any chance of winning against him from the very beginning. There are some things milady ought to know."
"Milady, please think back carefully to the stories he told—whether about his mother or fighting the Demon King—everything was real."
Hayasaka Ai smiled softly: "He comes from another world. He possesses abilities beyond ordinary people. He also doesn't understand the concept of one lifetime, one person, one heart, one world. If milady charges in blindly with nothing but passion, the one who will get hurt will definitely be you."
"But... why are you telling me this?" Shinomiya Kaguya wanted to understand.
Hayasaka Ai paused for a moment, took a deep breath, steeled herself, and spoke solemnly: "Although it's a bit embarrassing to say... I like Diego Brando.
Even though he says we're similar, I don't think so. I've always lacked that trace of confidence he has—the figure who, when facing injustice and hardship, never blames fate, never gives up, and always actively seeks a way to break through. I love that part of him the most, and it hurts me the most. He's too rational—rational to the point he's gradually losing the ability to feel pain, becoming more and more divine... If this continues, I'm afraid one day he'll completely lose basic human emotions...
And I also like milady. That's why I have to prevent either of you from getting hurt..."
"...I got a bit carried away. In short, Dio is destined not to be a man who takes only one wife. Milady's usual tactics won't work on him. I want to advise milady to abandon this unrealistic idea before you fall too deeply..."
"Wait—why is Brando-kun ahead of me?! I'm supposed to be the most important person to Hayasaka!" Shinomiya Kaguya's face flushed red. She squeezed her eyes shut, clenched her fists, and shouted. "I knew Hayasaka was a bad girl!! None of that's a problem! Fujiwara-san will become Prime Minister and pass new laws! So if I'm the only legal wife, wouldn't that solve everything?!"
She just called me a good girl a moment ago...
Eh? Wait—something's wrong!
What is milady saying? You're actually okay with that?!!
And you're pinning your hopes on Fujiwara-san?!!
Hayasaka Ai's eyes widened. The words caught in her throat. Only now did she realize she understood the ice sculpture princess, but she understood nothing about milady when she was in full lovesick mode.
...
——Inside the Shinomiya family reception room——
"...That's it! Toka said she wants to witness the terror of Scary Monsters!"
"Oh, your sister is taking you to Italy for a business trip? Sure, go ahead. In the end, I, Dio, will still surpass you. You and your sister can head to that tourist island in Italy first and wait for me there. I suggest you don't wander off..."
Diego held the teacup in one hand, phone clamped between shoulder and ear, a faint smile on his lips as he amusedly told lame pun jokes to Takanashi Rikka on the other end.
Takanashi Rikka's angry voice came through the phone: "Dio always looks down on people! The Evil King's True Eye is the strongest! I'm not afraid of any beast!"
"Hey hey, don't get it wrong—this is a friendly reminder. There are tons of ferocious beasts around there..." Diego continued teasing. "Last time I passed through to pick up Jolyne, a few mountain lions and rattlesnakes blocked my path and wouldn't let me through...
My beloved horse planned to take a detour, but one of the animals actually moved aside to let me pass. That animal that gave way to me was really considerate... Guess which one it was? Mountain lion? Or rattlesnake?"
Silence on the other end for a long moment. Then Takanashi Rikka muttered quietly: "Isn't this a pun even little kids know? It's the rattlesnake—because it's 'venomous' ['doku'], and 'doku' sounds like 'yielding the way' ['yurusu michi'] in Japanese, so it's also called the 'yielding snake.'"
"Huh? How could a starving carnivore voluntarily yield the way? The correct answer is me, Dio! It's Dio! I charged through on my beloved horse Silver Bullet and smashed both the mountain lions and rattlesnakes—nothing can stop I, Dio, from advancing." Diego pointed at himself excitedly, grinning wide even though Takanashi Rikka couldn't see him.
"..."
Even Takanashi Rikka's chuunibyou mindset couldn't keep up with Diego's wild leaps.
"Well well, someone's calling me—gotta go. Hanging up."
As soon as he finished, Diego looked up slightly. The World appeared, considerately taking the phone from his shoulder and silently refilling his black tea.
"Thanks. Having you around is really convenient." Diego downed the tea in one gulp.
"Muda muda!"
That was The World's cheerful parting shout before it vanished.
Tap tap tap...
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Brando-kun."
"It's not good to leave a guest alone in the living room for too long~"
The ones returning from the courtyard were the Shinomiya-Hayasaka duo.
Diego propped his chin on one hand and asked with interest: "So how did the discussion go? Are you going to accept my, Dio's, marriage-into-the-family request?"
This time Shinomiya Kaguya had come fully mentally prepared. She didn't freeze like before—instead she immediately put her wicked idea into practice.
She pulled several banknotes from her wallet, "accidentally" let go so they floated down slowly, then dramatically covered her mouth: "Oh my, whose money fell? The owner must be so worried!"
Bam!
"Mine mine! This is ko no Dio's money!"
One second he was lounging on the sofa sipping black tea; the next, Diego dove headfirst to the floor. His upward-stretched hand protected the bills, ensuring not a single precious yen hit the ground.
Heh heh...
"Huff... ha... huff—huff—" Shinomiya Kaguya's eyes widened, hand over mouth, cheeks flushed as she panted. Reason and desire began duking it out.
Brando-kun, you can't do this—no, you can't! You can't show such a cute puppy-like reaction!
I can't do this. I know I can't, so why am I...
While Diego was ecstatically counting the bills like treasures, the battle between Shinomiya Kaguya's reason and desire reached its conclusion.
As expected, reason was struck out like a three-time loser and sent packing.
Shinomiya Kaguya wore an extremely twisted smile. A scarlet glint flashed in her eyes as she stared excitedly at Diego, clearly very pleased with his puppy-catching-frisbee reaction.
The path of keeping Brando-kun... is viable!
As long as I have enough money, Brando-kun will be completely unable to leave me. He'll willingly stay by my side, obey my every request. The position of legal wife rightfully belongs to me, Shinomiya Kaguya!
Hehehe... you're mine now!
Behind the two of them, Hayasaka Ai seemed to see a world announcement: Shinomiya Kaguya has found the cheat code—method to freely control top-tier combat power Diego...
At that moment, Shinomiya Kaguya stepped back two paces, leaned close to Hayasaka Ai's ear, and whispered: "Hayasaka, I've decided. I absolutely have to help Brando-kun become student council president."
"You're only making up your mind now? Milady no longer cares about the humiliation of being thoroughly pinned down by Dio?"
"Of course I won't forget the humiliation. But as long as Shuchiin belongs to Brando-kun, then as an ordinary student, losing to him isn't humiliation—it's an honor. After all, someone as outstanding as him—yet I still get the privilege of competing against him on the same stage." Shinomiya Kaguya's lips curved upward slightly, her eyes sparkling with delight.
"Besides, didn't you tell me, Hayasaka? Alcoholic father, sick mother, malicious clansmen, and his shattered self—if I don't help him, who will!"
The most, most, most, most important thing: the title "Brando-kun" isn't exclusively mine. I, Shinomiya Kaguya, demand to be one of a kind!
"President" has a nice ring to it. As vice president, maybe I can even play some "lower rank overthrows upper rank" roleplay...
Having been stimulated by Hayasaka Ai's earlier remark ["After all, milady hasn't even had her first kiss yet"], Shinomiya Kaguya—who had frantically studied gender knowledge—was now sprinting headlong in a certain unspeakable direction.
After hearing Shinomiya Kaguya out, Hayasaka Ai bowed respectfully. Inwardly she complained: Resorting to this move, you smooth-talking woman!
Today's victor: Hayasaka Ai, defeat!
(Hayasaka Ai developed a very real sense of crisis: My master has developed strange fetishes after getting involved with a man.)