Because Dio-sama goes wherever he wants, anyway, Diego returned to Shuchiin to participate in the student council president election.
—Election Day—
"Pucci?"
"Dear friend..."
On the way to school, Diego's hands hung naturally at his sides, completely relaxed.
It wasn't until he sensed a familiar presence that Diego looked up, meeting eyes with Father Pucci across the street. The words "good morning" were drowned out by the traffic.
"Sorry about before—leaving drunk you in the restaurant booth and going off with GioGio to have fun alone." Diego's lips curved slightly, radiating a sense of tranquility. "I have to say, he's a really good kid. He gives me a feeling of peace. Thanks for bringing him to me."
Pucci jogged over to Diego's side, not minding it at all: "As long as I could help my dear friend."
"Is that so..." Diego gazed at Pucci with deep meaning, then slightly tilted his head and shifted his gaze, speaking again. "Your 『Whitesnake』 can turn the 'soul'—that is, the 'Stand'—into tangible discs and preserve them permanently."
"If you have time later, would you be willing to go to Italy with me? Passione has a lot of Stand users. I plan to use Whitesnake to seize their Stands one by one. Stands should only belong to those with talent, after all."
"Don't worry—you won't have to fight. I'll control them one after another. All Whitesnake needs to do is extract the discs to create 'Stand Discs'."
At the same time, Diego pondered inwardly, his mind flashing back to the mustachioed man and the vivid scene of his conversation with the Hero of the South years ago.
The Hero of the South, the strongest human hero, possesses the same magic as the omniscient Schlacht—the magic that allows one to see a thousand years into the future.
That guy's attitude was ambiguous and unclear. Clearly, he didn't want to tell me the answer. Everything was based on my speculation.
[In the near future, you will meet with misfortune.]
One thing has already come true—that "misfortune" he mentioned was me being brought to this world by the Demon King's self-destruction.
Perhaps I came to this world precisely to meet Enrico Pucci, to use his ability to collect Stands and find that fleeting possibility of seeing my mother again.
Just then, Enrico Pucci's reply reached Diego's ears: "Of course I'm willing. As I said before, no matter where you go, I want to follow you."
Hearing this, Diego felt a rare urge to open his heart. He let out a soft chuckle: "I won't let you do it for nothing. I, Dio, don't like owing people favors. You're a priest—as thanks, I'll let you witness 'Heaven,' the legendary 'Land of Eternal Soul Sleep'."
Rustle rustle...
Diego took out a Cosmic Stone ring and solemnly pressed it into Pucci's hand.
"Only those who have witnessed 'Heaven' can be called true victors... No matter the cost, ko no Dio must reach Heaven!" Diego grew serious, brimming with spirit. "So, I need your assistance. This is said to be the world's... (omitting the usual spiel for every ring handover)... It's my token of thanks. Please accept it. No matter where you are, I'll bring you power."
"Dear friend..."
As the two gradually veered toward some unspeakable direction, a voice full of energy shattered the intimate atmosphere.
"Lala, season change—♪, season change—♪"
"Ah! It's Diego-san, good morning—!"
Diego slowly turned his head to see Fujiwara Chika waving her hand, skipping over with small steps.
!!!
It's that crazy woman Fujiwara Chika—don't come near me!
"Anyway, Pucci, I'll be counting on you and Whitesnake from here on. Thank it for me too." Diego spoke at rapid speed, then bolted the instant he finished.
Fujiwara Chika chased after him with an innocent smile: "Diego-san, wait for me! Let's play this new Three Kingdoms card game together! I just don't know why it has so many bad reviews..."
"What a frivolous girl... Though I can understand why..." Pucci withdrew his gaze, muttered under his breath, then turned to look behind him. "Whitesnake, did you hear my dear friend's thanks?"
"I heard it. You're really annoying. I can't understand why my master is you?" Whitesnake—wearing a van♂ mask and exuding philosophical vibes—appeared, grumbling as always. "As expected, Dio is the best. He respects me, doesn't treat me as a pure tool. I'm Whitesnake's for life."
"Hey, that's my dear friend!"
"If I get the chance, I'll definitely abandon you..."
Whitesnake still couldn't stand Father Pucci.
...
—Inside Shuchiin—
The fleeing Diego accidentally passed by Shinomiya Kaguya.
"Oh my, Brando-san, good day."
"Good morning, Shinomiya."
Kaguya stood straight and tall, curious about the flustered Diego: "The endorsement speeches at the venue are about to start. What are you...?"
Though I threatened and bribed to kick out the other candidates behind the scenes, rallied several clubs to canvass votes, and prepared a pretty solid speech with Accountant Ishigami.
But even though the election overseer is my puppet too, and most of Shuchiin—from top to bottom—are Brando-san's fans, he can't slack off too much!
Diego grabbed Kaguya's hand and started running with the zoned-out girl in tow: "No time to explain... Wait, no time to make excuses—run! Damn Fujiwara Chika is still chasing me!"
"Fujiwara-san?! That's seriously dangerous!! Let's hurry!!" Kaguya was so scared her voice trembled as she ran along.
The two stumbled into the endorsement speech venue.
Kaguya forced a smile, catching her breath as she teased: "That was awful—having that little mishap right at the endorsement speeches."
"Cough cough, didn't think I, Dio, would ever look this pathetic." With the crisis averted, Diego tried to regain his dignity.
"Hoo—..."
"Guh..."
The venue was dead silent. The two stood side by side, locked eyes, exchanged a glance, and burst into laughter.
Kaguya tilted her head slightly, one hand lightly covering her lips, shoulders hunched a bit, her curved brows and eyes rippling with sweet amusement—a ladylike vibe.
This made Diego, standing beside her, seem out of place. Head thrown back, mouth wide open, eyes closed, he didn't hide his unrestrained mirth at all.
"Hahahahahahahaha!" ×2
Diego had always been the hunter before—this was the first time experiencing the hunted's perspective, and he felt genuinely delighted.
How fresh—being chased around by an ordinary person. How come those demons couldn't appreciate such fun?
What a bunch of cheapskates. It's not like getting captured would actually kill them, right?
"Eh, President, the other one is... Shinomiya-san? What are you two doing here?"
Just then, Ishikawa Toru—who was in charge of cleaning the venue—heard the laughter and came over with a broom.
"It's Ishikawa, huh. What the hell is with that look?" Diego looked up at the ridiculous appearance and couldn't help mocking. "Did time stop before the time stop? Shaving your head bald I could understand as religious faith, but why the eyebrows too?"
"Ugh... Don't say it. I've deeply understood the dangers of gambling—never betting again." Bald-egg Ishikawa Toru covered his face, lowering his head to calm himself. "It's all thanks to you. Who could've thought Tokai Teio—with three broken legs—could still win? The barber I found was half-assed and shaved my eyebrows too."
Diego patted Ishikawa Toru's shoulder, removed his hat, and shook his lustrous golden hair as consolation: "Well~ After all, you lost to me, Dio—no need to be sad."
"..."
That was comforting—don't comfort me next time!
Ishikawa Toru wanted to cry even more.
"But Ishikawa-san, you just called Brando-san 'President' and asked why we're here—what do you mean?" Kaguya sensed something off and quickly pressed. "Isn't today the endorsement speeches?"
Diego leaned in for a look and added another question: "Speaking of which, there's no one in the venue except you—what's going on?"
Hiss... Then my, Dio's, backup plan is useless?
To ensure absolute success, I had a little dinosaur lurk in the venue yesterday—planning to control everyone to vote for me during the ballot.
Ishikawa Toru furrowed his brows and countered: "You didn't know?"
"Greek yogurt—what should we know?" The two shook their heads.
"All the candidates withdrew from the race, so the endorsement speeches were canceled. Brando-san, the only one who didn't withdraw, was naturally appointed by default." Ishikawa Toru's expression was odd. After speaking, he waved the broom and continued cleaning the venue.
"No way—I clearly left—" Nearly slipping up, Kaguya quickly covered her mouth and recomposed herself. "Are you serious? What about the other popular candidate—Sengoku Kakeru-san?"
"Sengoku? He dropped out on the first day. According to him, it was because he bullied people relying on his status without understanding why before, saying he wasn't worthy of the presidency." Ishikawa Toru blinked as he explained again. "Looking at it that way, he's actually pretty decent—my opinion of him improved a lot!"
Oh no—this is bad. Didn't expect him to drop out. The other candidates were all forced out by my threats and bribes.
Gotta find a way to fix this. With President's personality, he definitely prefers winning fair and square by stepping on others' heads, right?!
If he finds out, it'll be disastrous. Once exposed, President will surely look down on a lousy person like me who only uses dirty tricks...
In times like this, strike first!
"President! This is a trap! A conspiracy against us—" Kaguya didn't hesitate, but turned to see...
Diego standing there with dilated pupils, seemingly struck hard. His voice sounded lifeless: "It doesn't matter anymore, Shinomiya. Let's go to the student council."
"O-okay..."
...
—Inside the Student Council Room, a velociraptor was running wildly with abandon—
Run run run run... run run run run...
"President, it's been 25 minutes. Time to change back." Kaguya hid in the corner, hands cupped like a megaphone, shouting at the velociraptor covered in "Dio" writings.
After several transformations, it returned to human form, and Diego's voice emerged: "Being a full dinosaur is great—no need to think about anything, no need to deal with anxiety about the future."
"If only I could be a dragon for life..."
After 25 minutes, Diego finally emerged from his sub-dragon state, no longer escaping reality.
Diego looked at Kaguya, smugly put his hands on his hips, and asked: "Shinomiya, dinosaurs are awesome, right?"
"Not awesome at all." Kaguya muttered softly.
"Yeah, such an awesome dinosaur, yet not a single opponent..." Diego slowly closed his eyes, filled with grief and indignation. "This kind of victory handed out by others has no meaning at all!! They should go all out only to be effortlessly defeated by me, then submit wholeheartedly and please me!!"
Having overly sensitive hearing isn't always a good thing. The heartache Diego had finally forgotten resurfaced.
Bam!
The student council room door burst open, and a horde of zombies poured in, instantly filling the place.
Ijichi Nijika: "Yahoo, so hot, so hot! Dio in?!"
Goto Hitori: "Student council... Actually, actually has AC! Such luxury... And we really came..."
Yamada Ryo: "Dio, hurry and greet us! It's cool air inside—saved! Free AC is great—"
Kita Ikuyo: "Ryo-senpai! Watch your step—there's a step there!"
Kitagawa Marin: "Little Kita, hold this popsicle for me—we'll all eat together later."
Takanashi Rikka: "Oh, a new base for Scary Monsters. So strong—Dekomori, let's hold our otherworldly activities here from now on!"
Dekomori Sanae: "Death! (nodding furiously)"
Hori: "Eh? Hayasaka-san, you're juggling dozens of part-time jobs? Amazing!"
Hayasaka Ai: "Nah, it's all because of my evil capitalist boss."
?
Whoa, so many people!
"Te me! Don't treat the student council like a cooling spot you can just drop by!" Diego was totally pissed. "Why do you all act like it's a given?!"
Everyone exchanged looks, then went back to chatting among themselves—nobody cared about lonely old Di's opinion.
"Damn you all—I'll make you regret this! I'm the student council president!" Diego squeezed out a few tears and slammed the table in rage. "I've never been insulted this much in one day!"
(The insults in Diego's mind: 1. Chased and fleeing from Fujiwara Chika. 2. Endorsement speeches no-show. 3. Nobody listening when he speaks.)
"Eh?" Kaguya blinked, silently took out her wallet, pinched out a few bills, and let them flutter down.
Slap!
"Ao—"
Diego pounced in front of Kaguya, instantly catching the precious money in his mouth. Realizing what he was doing, his face turned horrified: "Wh-what! My body moved on its own..."
"Still upset, President?" Kaguya tilted her head, asking with a beaming smile.
"Don't think... Don't think this little money can buy off me, Dio! I, Dio, am not that shallow!"
"Then how about these?"
Slap!
Slap!
Slap!
Facing Kaguya's successive waves of cash attacks, the principled and bottom-line-holding Diego waved his hand in acceptance. His negative emotions vanished, and he stood up satisfied.
Removing his hat, a strand of golden bangs fell over his forehead. His blue eyes moved like dinosaur slits, his mouth stretched wide in an exaggerated grin. Diego beamed as he gave a speech.
"Ahem, a few words from me."
"As they say, a new official lights three fires. Now that I, Dio, am student council president, naturally I must enact new tax laws for the pigeons."
"Studying gets taxed, not studying gets taxed, doing nothing gets taxed too!"
"Dating gets taxed, not dating gets taxed, narcissism gets taxed too!"
"Not drinking coffee gets taxed, sandwiching yourself with two items gets taxed, playing with iron balls gets taxed, spinning fingernails must get taxed!"
"..."
Everyone was speechless, with only one thought in mind.
Shuchiin, hurry up and collapse...
As Diego got more and more into it, the savior Ijichi Nijika quietly opened her contacts, found Fujiwara Chika, typed, edited, and sent in one go.
"Mages get taxed, becoming a hero gets taxed, freeloading gets taxed, collecting ancient magical tools everywhere gets taxed too!"
"Our slogan is: Shuchiin belongs to Diego Brando! The world belongs to Diego Brando!"
Soon after, the Dio-killer Fujiwara Chika burst through the door in rage, pointing a finger and shouting: "Objection! I protest the above taxes!"
"Protesting the above taxes gets... wryyyyyyy!!!"
Facts proved Diego wasn't suited to be a politician. To prevent him from messing everything up, Fujiwara Chika honorably joined the student council as secretary.
In the end, Diego stubbornly left one line.
"But I won't apologize!"
...
After everyone left, Diego squatted under the table like a bullied little wife, motionless.
Pat pat...
Kaguya crouched down, placed a bill and a cloth bundle in front of Diego, tilted her head with a smile, and consoled:
"Don't be sad, President. Reforms always face failures along the way. Do you want 10 bucks or a mystery gift?"
Diego looked up, staring straight at her, pondering: "...Mystery gift."
"Congrats, President—you got a piece of gold!" Kaguya opened the bundle, revealing a shiny gold bar inside. She clapped in celebration.
"Then forget it—I still want the 10 bucks." Diego's slightly open mouth hadn't closed yet as he snatched the 10 bucks and turned to leave.
"Eh, why?"
"I hate gold..."