Under the warm light, Lu Xiangyang sat there blankly, listening as Shen Kuangye finished telling the entire story.
Perhaps it was because everything was so quiet at that moment—only Shen Kuangye's voice filling the room, and combined with the unbelievable things he was describing, it made Lu Xiangyang feel as if this were all just a dream.
He secretly pinched his own palm.
It hurt.
So it wasn't a dream.
"…That's roughly what happened."
After finishing, Shen Kuangye kept looking at Lu Xiangyang but didn't say anything else.
Silence.
Silence.
A long, lingering silence.
Shen Kuangye unconsciously held his breath.
Only then did Lu Xiangyang slowly find his voice again.
"So, Kuangye-ge, what you mean is… in your previous life you went to Ella as a controller, were tricked into signing a contract, and they treated you badly—squeezed out your salary and whatever value you had left. Then after winning the championship, you received a call saying your mom was critically ill, and because you were so anxious you fell, but no one came to help you… and that's why you…"
Hearing his past suffering spoken aloud by Lu Xiangyang, Shen Kuangye strangely felt a sense of relief.
"Yeah."
"If you don't believe it… just assume I've gone crazy. You can forget about it. It's fine."
Shen Kuangye smiled and rubbed his head, but suddenly realized something and was about to pull his hand back—only to freeze.
Because he saw that Lu Xiangyang was crying.
The boy's pale face was covered with tear tracks. Crystal tears clung to his long eyelashes. His lips were tightly pressed together, clearly trying his best to endure it, but the tears kept falling like broken strings of pearls, rolling down his smooth skin and leaving wet trails behind.
Shen Kuangye didn't quite know how to comfort someone, so he could only smile helplessly.
"Why are you crying? Do you think I'm scary?"
"Of course not."
Lu Xiangyang sniffled. He raised his hand to wipe away the tears, but found that no matter how much he wiped, they kept coming—more and more.
He knew the truth must have been even more painful than Shen Kuangye had described. What those people from Ella did must have hurt him deeply.
All the previous doubts suddenly made sense now... his sudden change in personality, the deliberate closeness, stopping him from joining Ella, his familiarity with hospital payment procedures, knowing all his awkward habits, saying he had changed so much when he got sick…
So that was why.
Shen Kuangye reached out to wipe his tears, his own eyes reddening slightly.
"Why are you crying like a little kitten?"
Lu Xiangyang looked up at him with swollen red eyes and cried even harder. This time he threw himself into Shen Kuangye's arms, wrapping his arms around his neck as he sobbed.
"Ge…" he said. "You're not scary at all. I just…"
I just feel so bad for you.
His throat was too tight and sour for him to finish the sentence.
What exactly had Shen Kuangye gone through to become the person he was now?
Mature. Steady. Unemotional.
Those words sounded like compliments.
But when applied to Shen Kuangye, Lu Xiangyang found them painful to hear. If possible, he wished Shen Kuangye didn't have to be like this. He wished he could simply be happy.
Lu Xiangyang cried for a long time. Shen Kuangye simply wrapped an arm around his waist and held him quietly. Neither of them spoke.
When Lu Xiangyang finally cried himself tired and calmed down, he lifted his face and noticed that half of Shen Kuangye's shoulder was soaked with tears.
Feeling a little guilty, he tried to wipe it with a tissue, but Shen Kuangye pressed down on his hand.
"A tissue won't wipe that clean," Shen Kuangye joked.
Lu Xiangyang mumbled softly, "Then I'll wash it for you."
"Wash it? You mean like when you used too much detergent and ended up with soap all over your face?" Shen Kuangye asked with a faint smile.
That reminded Lu Xiangyang of how he used to wash clothes like that when he was little. His face flushed instantly.
Didn't that mean his brother knew all his embarrassing childhood stories now?
Embarrassed, Lu Xiangyang quickly covered Shen Kuangye's mouth with his palm, pretending to be fierce but actually sounding soft.
"Ge, stop talking!"
The distance between them suddenly shrank. Only the width of a palm separated Lu Xiangyang's lips from Shen Kuangye's.
Shen Kuangye held his breath slightly and slowly raised his eyes to look at him. Lu Xiangyang swallowed.
Lu Xiangyang slowly lowered his hand, but his gaze unconsciously fell on Shen Kuangye's pale lips.
He wondered what they would feel like to kiss.
Shen Kuangye's mind calmed down a little. Only then did he remember the real reason he had confessed everything tonight.
"So… do you understand now why I can't respond to your feelings?"
Shen Kuangye looked at him helplessly with his dark eyes.
Lu Xiangyang shook his head.
Shen Kuangye: "…"
Lu Xiangyang hugged him and rubbed his cheek against Shen Kuangye's.
"I don't care who you are," he said softly. "I just like you. That's all."
His face was soft, and his voice was low and obedient.
"Gege, I've never liked anyone before. But actually, the moment I first saw you, I liked you."
Blushing, Lu Xiangyang added:
"The day you were reborn."
When he saw Shen Kuangye that day, his heart had suddenly started pounding violently.
It was completely different from before. Previously he had spent so much time with Shen Kuangye and felt nothing at all. Yet the day Shen Kuangye returned to this body, he fell in love.
Lu Xiangyang hadn't understood why before.
Now he did.
So this was love at first sight.
Shen Kuangye was so stunned by the second confession that he forgot to respond.
This wasn't how things were supposed to go.
In Shen Kuangye's expectations, Lu Xiangyang might think he was crazy. Or maybe reluctantly believe him and distance himself.
How could he accept it so calmly and keep liking him?
"Ge," Lu Xiangyang lifted his head from his neck and looked at him. "Why aren't you saying anything?"
Shen Kuangye repeated what he thought was the important point.
"I'm literally you."
"Mm." Lu Xiangyang nodded. "I know."
Shen Kuangye: "."
"So you rejected me before because you were afraid that if I knew the truth, I'd leave you?" Lu Xiangyang asked, leaning closer.
Shen Kuangye lowered his eyes and reluctantly hummed in agreement.
"You're always saying I overthink things," Lu Xiangyang said, as if catching important evidence. "But you overthink too."
"Gege, I like you, I like you, I like you."
He leaned close to Shen Kuangye's ear and whispered.
"No matter who you are, I still like you."
He clearly saw that Shen Kuangye's face didn't change, but his ears slowly turned red.
Lu Xiangyang smiled.
"Gege… you like me too, don't you?"
Shen Kuangye's heartbeat skipped.
It felt like a massive stone had been thrown into a calm lake, sending waves crashing everywhere.
For a moment, his brain buzzed blankly.
Did he… like Lu Xiangyang too?
Shen Kuangye realized he was a little confused.
It wasn't that he had never encountered homosexuality before. On the contrary, he had met many people like that in his previous life.
After all, the player base of Identity V was somewhat special. He had once accidentally caught two people from Ella kissing late at night in the stairwell, and plenty of players with very bold usernames had tried to add him as a friend.
He knew about these things.
But he had never experienced it himself, nor had he ever liked anyone before. So he was completely unfamiliar with feelings.
He had carried hatred in his heart for too long.
So long that he had forgotten what liking someone meant… and what love was.
He didn't know whether what he felt for Lu Xiangyang was responsibility or… something more.
"Sorry," Shen Kuangye said hoarsely.
"I…"
"Are you rejecting me again, Gege?" Lu Xiangyang asked.
Shen Kuangye suddenly couldn't speak.
This time Lu Xiangyang didn't cry. Instead, he boldly leaned his face against Shen Kuangye's shoulder.
"It's okay. Then I'll confess to you again next time. My skin is thick—you know that."
Shen Kuangye: "."
"Then tomorrow. Okay?"
Lu Xiangyang was seriously negotiating with him now.
Shen Kuangye stayed silent for a few seconds before sighing helplessly.
"Stop messing around."
"I'm not."
For the first time, Lu Xiangyang boldly talked back.
How should he describe his current feelings?
Proud? Not exactly.
It was more like he had discovered that his brother's words didn't match his heart.
Lu Xiangyang thought about it—if he truly didn't like someone, and that person treated him like this, he would definitely push them away without hesitation.
He was like that.
Shen Kuangye would be the same.
But Shen Kuangye hadn't pushed him away. Instead, he kept indulging him.
"Then look into my eyes and say you don't like me. Say you hate me."
Lu Xiangyang became even bolder. As if certain Shen Kuangye wouldn't do anything to him, he cupped Shen Kuangye's face with both hands and forced him to meet his gaze.
Shen Kuangye looked at him helplessly. His lips moved, but no words came out.
"Say it. Say you hate me, that you don't like me at all, that you don't want to date me. Then whoever I date or like in the future will have nothing to do with you."
Lu Xiangyang had originally been joking.
But the hand around his waist unconsciously tightened.
Shen Kuangye didn't say anything.
But that instinctive reaction had already betrayed him completely.
"If you don't say it, I'll assume you like me too."
Lu Xiangyang released his hands, his tone becoming a little serious.
"Lu Xiangyang," Shen Kuangye said hoarsely.
"Can you give me some time?"
The usually obedient boy refused to give in this time.
"No. You have to say how long."
After thinking for a moment, Shen Kuangye said:
"Until the Abyss tournament ends. Okay?"
There were still eight months left until Abyss.
Right now their most important goal was preparing for the tournament and winning the world championship.
Shen Kuangye also needed time to figure out what exactly his feelings for Lu Xiangyang were.
And if, during these eight months, Lu Xiangyang cooled off and stopped liking him… he could leave anytime.
After all, strictly speaking, Shen Kuangye had already had Lu Xiangyang in his life for many years.
"I see."
Lu Xiangyang's expression turned mysterious.
"This is the boyfriend probation period you're giving me, right?"
Shen Kuangye hadn't expected him to interpret it that way.
Lu Xiangyang always liked to frame things romantically.
Boyfriend…
To Shen Kuangye, it was an unfamiliar word. He never expected the night would end like this.
"Then I'll perform well."
Lu Xiangyang leaned close to his ear and whispered:
"I'm looking forward to the score you'll give me when the time comes, gege."