[ Psycho- what?]
'Look...
When she invited me for a talk, I decided to go along with your advice of half truths and accepted her invitation. The first test was...
The chocolate.'
[ I told you!] he stated triumphantly. [ I told you you shouldn't have eaten the chocolate. See, now she'll brainwash you slowly and painfully, corrupting you to do the most horrible-]
'Mate,shut up and let me talk,' I cut through again, my irritation bringing out my British accent.
Hey, it keeps happening from time to time. I've tried to minimise it under Mom to bury any suspicion, and I think I'm doing a good enough job.
'The chocolate was the first test because...I didn't see her motive, and acted as dumb as you until I had half stuffed it down my throat.'
[... What?]
I started again, this time slower and spelling out every syllable. 'Look when she held it up, I was hungry. I might have eaten udon, but hey, that was my hardest battle yet, even with the buffs. So, I naturally disregarded everything and snatched it out of the air as quick as I could.'
[ Hmmph, need to improve your acting, bootleg Mastermind. But how does that be detrimental?]
'Because she saw my speed.' I waited a beat, to recieve a [What? Oh, OH...].
'Hearing about someone's skills and abilities is one thing, but seeing them firsthand is another. She tricked me, and I realised it a split second too late.'
[Oh,] The big guy seemed at a loss for words. [ That's bad, isn't it?]
'Really bad,' I agreed. ' Makima was definitely not in my list of top one thousand anime characters to reveal my moveset to.'
I smirked. 'But I made the field unequal-
-in my favour.'
[What?] He exploded. [How'd you do that?]
Irolled the wrapper into a ball and took aim, my hand behind my head. I closed one eye, stuck out my tongue, screwing my face in focus, and aimed for the window.
I smiled as I recalled. 'When I threw it, she had already integrated it into her mind that I was susceptible to control. And that was what steamed me,because I'm a potential man. How dare she try to control me?'
The system waited. Good boy.
'So she clearly though that my senses were low. And when I threw the packet, I forced her to reveal an ability of hers, too- telekinesis.'
[Oh, is that so? I knew you couldn't make that shit.]
I glared at him.'I could if I wanted to.'
[Then why didn't you want to?] He continued to pester me.
'Shut up and listen!' I roared. 'The wrapper was on course to head out of the window. The reason it didn't was because Makima had already predicted its route, and pretended to look in that direction. When it sailed through, she used her ability, which is some mutated form of telekinesis, to redirect the route of the waste.
It was well hidden indeed, very well hidden, so that neither the so called Vice Captain of the First Division nor the driver noticed it.
On the other hand, I have a perception of 200. There's no way I would miss it, especially as I was already on watch for something after I saw her looking in the ball's route.'
[All right,] the system sounded pretty impressed.[ But is that all?]
I grinned. 'What do you think, Sherlock?'
'Theoughout the entirety of our meeting, I put on the facade of someone who was mature. Fitting someone who lost his parents at a young age. Someone who was mature and yet childish. The perfect combo-'
'And also exactly what she expected.'
[I see,] he mused. [But what about all that stuff about organisations and control and all? Was that in all caps?]
'All caps?' I wondered. 'Oh, I see. But no,] I smiled, tapping my index and middle fingers to the side of my temple. 'You forget one more crucial thing.'
[What?] He asked cluelessly. He really was the perfect listener for the brainaic viewpoint.
'I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.' I laughed. ' In fact, I don't even know how I get out of this world. Kill a devil? Done that. Kill two? It'll happen pretty soon, but chances of that bringing me home are down to zero. No, it's going to be something ridiculously hard, something that'll push me to the brink, create a new playing field, and push me to my limits again. Of course, I treat myself to be the ultimate main character, how else will I get out of Hell without being 90% dead?
And of course, I didn't lie to her about how I'd like to live my life for as long as I'm going to be here. On the plus, I might even get closer to ending this Nightmare than my progress as a regular Devil Hunter.
[Damn,bro,] The System was really flabbergasted this time.[ You really moved like Light before L.]
Heh. Glad I made an impact.
To be honest, it was really tiring. I wasn't anything like a liar or a spy or anything in my last life. I was moving completely on how I thought I should. In other words, if I received a shock large enough, I was slip, fumble and cook myself.
Also glad that Makima was within my expectations. Good thing I used to read fanfics.
I don't have anything like crazy luck or so, but I do have enough to make her exactly like I wanted her to be.
What? I'm kidding. How I'd like her to be is dead. But some wishes never get granted so...
Meh, forget that. I looked up as the System spoke.
[Wait a second, was that why you were moving like Light under supervision when you got out? But why? You don't even need to talk, I can hear your thoughts.]
'Well technically yes,' I responded, wiping my brow with my sleeve. 'but at the same time, I was afraid of showing any weird expressions on my face when I explained the shit to you.'
[Oooh,] I could tell he wastell he was really impressed this time. [Still,you need to learn to lie better if you want to get stronger.]
And he is absolutely right. The me now is worse than any NPC I've seen. I need to kill more Devils.
[Speaking of Devils, why didn't you check Makima's bounty?]
'Uhh...' I rubbed the back of my head. 'I..'
[Don't tell me you forgot, bitch. I know you, and I know how much you love money. There's no way you'd not check the worth of the biggest cash cow you've seen so far.]
I snapped my fingers. 'There you go. That's the reason.'
[What reason?]
' Well, it was exactly because she was my cash cow that I didn't check her her bounty.
Imagine you won the lottery, but you realised that in a job interview for a CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. You could lose the lottery if you lose your compusure, but if you get the job, you win it all.
That's precisely I wanted to check it later. I don't want to fumble, especially in front of someone who's on the Top 20 best manipulators of anime. Sure,without her powers, her rank would drop like a stone, but as of now, for me, she's very fucking dangerous, and I could die. She's no Light or Liebert, but...
Meh, too many negative thoughts. I need to clear my mind.
Tonight, I'll call Makima and accept her offer. Not really much to think about, but I don't wanna look too eager. It'll break my character.
Hey, now that I think about it, I just tricked one of anime's smartest characters into suggesting what I wanted, and appearing suprised. I mean, it might be natural and there weren't even a lot of options, but hey, a record is a record.
'Deck the halls with gasoline,' I sang out happily, skipping along.
[Um, I'm pretty sure it's holly,not gasoline.] The system said in a montonous big boy voice. [Even though I would prefer the latter for my house.]
'Light a match and watch it gleam,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,' I continued, ignoring him.
[If I had a house, that is. Cuz I'd really like a house, but I'm not even solid,'
'Now the school is burnt to ashes,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!'
[Is this my life? Am I having an existential crisis right now?]
' Aren't you glad you played with matches?
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!' I finished, twirling around, attracting a few weird looks, but I don't have any fucks to give, so wank off.
[Shut-Shut up with your weirdass Christmas Bomb Anthem!]
**
"You accept?" She asked me ,her voice garbled over the line.
"Why not?" I replied. " I've given it a lot of thought, and I've come to the conclusion that the only buff I'll get as a member of Public Safety, and that's fame. No, screw that, I can get even that as a vigilante. Devil Hunters are everywhere, but a vigilante? Hot stuff, baby. All I need is a hero name.'
"Hmm," Makima spoke. I could hear sounds of screams and shit in the background, and cannibalistic roars.
"What's that in the background?" I asked her directly.
"What's what?" She said, playing clueless.
"The noises. Are you feeding stray dogs?"
She paused for a second, clearly in suprise, before chuckling. " Suprisingly enough, yes. You really do get me, Aizen kun."
"When's my first job?" I enquired. Bitch, if I could, I'd kill you. I don't give a fuck about you or your homicidal tendencies to "improve" the world. If I could I'd just kill you straightaway.
Patience, I told myself. Patience, Kai. Your time will come. Until then, try not to get seduced.
" Aw, can't we have a little fun?" She sounded disappointed. The keyword being sounded.
"No."
"Whatever! I'll change your mind tommorow, see if I don't.
And to answer your question, 11 a.m sharp. I'll introduce you to a couple of people-"
"No need."
"And then I'll get you your first hunt!"
"Bye." I hung up before she could say anything else.
I sighed, threw the phone towards the wall, but a system screen appeared in front of it. A whooshing sound was heard as it vanished into my inventory.
"Well," I mumbled as I fell backwards onto the bed, "I wonder what shit happens tomorrow."
[Nothing good.] The system prompted.
"Thanks, mate." I said sarcastically. "I'd have never figured that out."
We stayed silent for a while, looking outside the window at the bustling street. The world was uncaring, unknowing, and unaware of what was going to happen to it.
'Hey, system?'
[What?]
'Why do I have a weird feeling my life is going to change for the better tomorrow?' It was a genuine question that had been bugging me for a while.
[I don't know. Shut up and go to sleep.]
'What the- I thought we were having a heart to heart talk right here!'
[Shut up. Go to sleep.] He repeated.
'Man, you suck!'
After cussing him out a couple of more times with no response, I curled up in bed.
All I remember before waking up to the day that changed everything was...
That I wasn't disposing of that weird feeling I had.
AN-
Ok, some inconstistencies in the chapter updates, but I think you can manage.
The reason is that I have a really important exam coming up, which will lower the word count back to 2000(sorry) and decrease update rate.
Still, I won't stop updating altogether.
Enjoyyy!