Chapter 9: Qualified Genin; First, Take My One Thousand Years of Death!
At Training Ground Three, three figures stood lonely on the open grass. Two hours had passed since the agreed-upon meeting time, and a certain untrustworthy silver-haired Jonin was still nowhere to be seen.
A series of growls erupted from the trio's stomachs.
Sasuke leaned against a tree trunk. Hunger caused cracks to appear in his cool mask, and his brow was tightly furrowed.
Naruto, meanwhile, sat cross-legged on a wooden post with a piece of wild grass he'd plucked from somewhere dangling from his mouth. He looked leisurely, but internally, he was livestreaming a roast session regarding excuses for being late.
[Two hours and ten minutes. Tsk, is this Kakashiguy part snail?]
[According to the script, when he finally arrives, he'll definitely use some cliché excuse like 'Oh, a black cat crossed my path.']
[But whatever, I didn't plan on actually waiting like an idiot until noon anyway. While we're at it, why don't I plan how to give this elite Jonin a proper greeting gift?]
Sakura was sitting on the grass nearby. Hearing this, her body involuntarily shuddered.
Here it comes again.
That livestream of inner thoughts, whose accuracy she had already verified countless times.
She subconsciously looked up just in time to see a puff of white smoke explode out of thin air at the entrance of the training ground. Kakashi's irritating figure finally appeared, waving a hand nonchalantly as he greeted them:
"Yo, morning everyone. A bit of bad luck today, a black cat crossed my path..."
*Snap.*
The handful of wild grass in Sakura's hand was instantly plucked bald.
Sasuke gave Kakashi a cold glance. Though he didn't speak, his eyes clearly showed he didn't believe a word.
Only Naruto, the moment Kakashi finished speaking, cooperated perfectly by jumping down from the post and pointing at Kakashi while shouting, "Sensei, you're late again! That's obviously a lie!"
[Look at how much face I'm giving you, playing along with this scene.]
Naruto's inner thoughts were thick with mockery.
[Alright, the foreplay is over. Next up is that shitty Bell Test. Although I know we just need to show teamwork to pass... facing Kakashi while he poses with that copy of make-out tactics, if I don't stir up some trouble, I'd be failing my identity as a transmigrator.]
[Hehe, Konoha's Secret Taijutsu Supreme Technique: One Thousand Years of Death. I wonder if this Copy Ninja can handle it?]
One Thousand Years of Death?
Sakura was completely baffled. Was that some kind of powerful Ninjutsu? The name sounded impressive—could it be a killing move that lasts for a thousand years?
While she was wondering, Kakashi had already produced two silver bells from somewhere, jingling them.
"The rules are simple. Whoever can grab a bell before noon gets lunch. As for the one who doesn't... they'll be tied to a post and forced to watch the others eat."
He put one hand in his pocket and, with extreme naturalness, pulled out that orange-covered book from his tool pouch—make-out tactics.
"Well then, let's begin."
*Whoosh! Whoosh!*
Three figures instantly scattered, vanishing into the surrounding bushes.
Inside the bushes.
Sakura's heart was pounding. She carefully pressed her hand to her chest, observing Kakashithrough the gaps in the leaves as he stood in the center of the clearing reading his book.
At the same time, Naruto's battle plan kept ringing in her head.
[This guy Kakashi is at his most relaxed right now. He thinks we're just a bunch of brats with no chemistry. This is the chance!]
[Although we can't beat him head-on, that guy has a fatal weakness—his butt!]
[In a moment, I'll use Shadow Clones to feint and draw his fire. As long as he exposes an opening in his rear, my main body will use that supreme technique—hands clasped, fingertips like a spear—and jam it in!]
Sakura froze completely.
The image uncontrollably surfaced in her mind: hands clasped... jamming the butt...
*Boom!*
The girl's face turned so red it almost steamed. This was the so-called One Thousand Years of Death? This was that supreme technique? This pervert! How could such a vulgar move be used against a teacher!
But immediately following that, a line of golden text she couldn't refuse popped up on the heavenly curtain.
[Suggestion: Cast aside your useless sense of shame. Choose for yourself: cooperate with him and become an accomplice in the prank, or remain a useless bystander.]
[Potential Reward: S-rank Chakra Control.]
Useless... cheerleader...
These words stung Sakura. Kakashi's indifferent gaze on the rooftop last night, and the disdain for a 'vase' in Naruto's heart, were things she couldn't shake from her mind.
I'll do it! It's just... it's just cooperating to poke a teacher, right? To get stronger, to stop being a Broad Forehead who only knows how to cry!
Sakura's eyes sharpened. She picked up a stone from the ground and took aim at Sasuke, who was observing the battle nearby.
*Thwack!*
The stone accurately hit the back of Sasuke's head.
"Who?" Sasuke spun around, killing intent flashing in his eyes.
But what he saw was Sakura frantically gesturing to him: first pointing at Kakashi in the clearing, then pointing towards Naruto's ambush on the left, and finally making a clumsy but clearly intentional flanking motion.
Sasuke frowned.
What is this woman who does nothing but fangirl all day doing? Directing me?
But in the next second, a massive change occurred in the center of the field.
"Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
With a low shout, twenty or thirty Narutos suddenly charged out of the bushes, howling as they lunged at Kakashi from all directions.
Kakashi didn't even lift an eyelid, his gaze still glued to the pages of his book. "Relying only on brute force... eh?"
He suddenly realized the attack angles of these clones were ridiculously tricky. They weren't trying to hurt him; they were trying to... grab his clothes?
"Grab his legs!"
"Hold his waist!"
The clones ignored the risk of being dispelled, shamelessly clinging to Kakashi's body.
In the gap where Kakashi raised his leg to kick a clone away, several shuriken shot toward him from his left in tricky arcs. Sasuke had made his move!
"Hmph, finally couldn't hold back anymore?" Kakashi shifted his body slightly, easily dodging them.
But what he didn't expect was that Sakura, who had been hiding at the very back, also moved. She didn't charge blindly; instead, her hands formed a seal. Using the basic knowledge she had desperately crammed from books over the past few days, she released a weak but crucial Ninjutsu on the branch where Kakashi was about to land.
Earth Release: Miry Trap (Ultra-low-budget version).
In reality, she just used Water Release to moisten the ground.
The moment Kakashi landed, his foot slipped. Though it was only a slight loss of balance, for a Jonin, it was a massive opening.
[Great chance! I didn't expect Sakura to be so on the ball!]
[Sasuke's cover was also in place. Since everyone is giving it their all, don't blame me for being dishonorable!]
[Supreme Technique: Konoha Secret Taijutsu: One! Thousand! Years! Of! Death!]
At the very instant Kakashi was adjusting his center of gravity, a figure slid silently along the ground behind him.
The position that should have been the main body's.
Naruto's hands slammed together, index and middle fingers pressed tight. He channeled Chakrato his fingertips and, with lightning speed, thrust them toward that nearby fatal spot!
This strike condensed the transmigrator's wicked humor and the hope of the entire class (not really).
"This killing intent?!"
Kakashi finally felt something was wrong. Even though he had lived through a Great Ninja War, he couldn't help but feel a chill down his spine. That sense of being targeted actually made his grip on make-out tactics falter.
He had no time to think. Instinctively dropping his book, his hands instantly formed the seal for a Substitution Jutsu.
*Poof!*
The sound of fingertips entering flesh did not ring out.
There was only a dull thud of impact.
The white smoke cleared.
An innocent log had replaced the elite Jonin's buttocks. It was launched into the air by Naruto's conviction-filled One Thousand Years of Death. A deep finger indentation was carved into the wood, with a few wisps of smoke even rising from it.
The air froze in that moment.
Kakashi's figure appeared on a tree branch ten meters away. He could no longer maintain his lazy, cool-guy image. A massive drop of cold sweat hung from his forehead, and his usually drowsy eye was now wide with shock.
That was close.
Really close.
If that hit had actually landed... his dignity as a Konoha Jonin couldn't be saved even with a Sharingan, right?
What shocked him even more was the coordination of these three kids.
"Naruto's bait, Sasuke's follow-up, and..." His gaze fell on Sakura, who was panting, her face flushed red but her eyes stubborn. "Sakura's timing?"
[Tsk, Substitution Jutsu? As expected of Kakashi, he ran just like that?]
Naruto stood up, putting on an annoyed expression.
[Oh well, as long as we forced him to drop his smutty book, we've already won this round. And Sakura's move earlier, though crude, was a stroke of genius. Who said she was useless? With a little guidance, she's clearly a tactical genius.]
In the bushes under the tree, Sakura heard this evaluation—unrefined but full of recognition—and her tense shoulders suddenly relaxed.
I coordinated with them? I'm not just a vase hiding behind Sasuke, I actually influenced the battle?
[Ding!]
The golden heavenly curtain exclusive to her bloomed before her eyes.
[Mission Evaluation: Participated in 'Prank/Tactical Coordination against an Elite Jonin.']
[Psychological Breakthrough: You cast aside useless shame and reserve, choosing to fight alongside your teammates. This is the first step from being a bystander to becoming a Ninja.]
[Reward Settlement: Chakra Control Mutation - Prototype Monstrous Strength (Even tiny amounts of Chakra, when burst in an instant, can produce destructive power).]
[Note: That hand-clasping gesture is wretched, but sometimes, isn't the so-called Way of the Ninjaabout using any means necessary?]
A warm current flowed from her fingertips into her meridians. Sakura clenched her fist, feeling that she could now even crush the stone she had thrown earlier into powder.
Not far away, Naruto picked up the copy of make-out tactics that Kakashi had dropped and waved it at him up in the tree.
"Sensei, you dropped your treasure. If you don't want me to read the exciting parts out loud in public, shouldn't you... share those lunch boxes with us?"
Kakashi sighed and pulled his headband back down to cover his left eye. Although he was a bit disheveled, the corner of his mouth under the mask couldn't help but curl upward.
"Though the process was a bit unsightly..."
"However, as Ninja Academy graduates, you are the first group I've led who are actually qualified."
[Ding!]
[Detected that the host not only directed perfect teamwork but also used shocking prank methods to shake Kakashi's resolve.]
[Congratulations to the host for obtaining the reward: Substitution Jutsu - Rapid Hand Seals (Instinctive reaction speed when under attack increased by 50%).]
[Sakura's Affection Change: A subtle intimacy of trust and being accomplices.]
Sunlight pierced through the woods, shining on three faces with different expressions. That One Thousand Years of Death that didn't land seemed to give the name Team 7 a different kind of weight.