Chapter 73: Triumphant Settlement! Private Consultation in the Hokage Office
Early morning, Hokage Office.
The entire "Sasuke Recovery Team," led by Nara Shikamaru, stood with their heads bowed. Shikamaru, in particular, had a face full of frustration.
Mission Status: Failure.
After all, Uchiha Sasuke had indeed been taken away.
Sitting behind the desk, the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade, had a rather strange expression. She wasn't looking at Shikamaru's self-reflection report; instead, she was staring blankly at the "spoils of war list" just handed in by the Anbu.
The contents of that list were indeed shocking.
Tayuya had been captured alive, but she had lost her mind and could only kneel; Jirobo had been smashed into fragments that couldn't even be pieced back together; Sakon and Ukon's bodies were riddled with holes like a sieve; Kidōmaru's bones were shattered, and he had been tied up; and...
That thing still standing in the plaza below the Hokage Building—a human-shaped ice sculpture named "Kimimaro's Eternal Middle Finger."
"Th-that..." Shikamaru swallowed hard, trying to break the silence. "Lady Tsunade, although we failed to retrieve Sasuke, everyone did their best..."
"Did your best?"
Tsunade looked up, a hint of a helpless smile flashing in her golden eyes. She casually slapped the list onto the desk with a loud "thwack."
"Nara Shikamaru, are you joking? Even if I sent a whole squad of Anbu elites, the best outcome against Orochimaru's Sound Four and that Kaguyaclan monster would be mutual destruction. And you guys?"
Tsunade's gaze swept over everyone, finally landing on the Blonde Youth who looked innocent and was boredly staring at the ceiling.
"Aside from that overly prideful Uchiha brat running away, the enemy was completely wiped out, and in a..." Tsunade searched for the right words, "...very brutal manner. I really can't find a reason to punish you."
Upon hearing this, Sakura, Ino, and the others quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
"Not only will there be no punishment, but there will also be rewards."
Tsunade leaned back in her chair, wearing the smug expression she only had after winning at the casino. Her arms were crossed over her chest, pushing her upper body into an eye-catching curve.
"Speak up. Everyone worked hard on this mission. What rewards do you want? A promotion? Ninjutsuscrolls? Or a special bonus?"
At the word "reward," everyone's eyes lit up.
However, the core of this mission, Uzumaki Naruto, curled his lip. He took a step forward, his blue eyes looking righteously at Tsunade's face, though his focus clearly slid down about ten centimeters due to gravity.
The heavenly curtain, visible only to certain women, timely popped up pink bullet comments above the Hokage Office.
[Sigh... Granny Tsunade still doesn't understand a man's heart.]
[D-rank Ninjutsu scrolls? What use are those? They're for unweaned Genin to play with. Money? Do I look like someone who lacks money? Since it's a reward, it needs to show the Hokage-sama's sincerity!]
Tsunade's eyebrow twitched behind the desk. Her expression didn't change, but she felt inexplicably nervous. Whenever this brat showed that "righteous" face, nothing good ever followed.
Sure enough, Naruto's inner thoughts began to run wild, broadcasting live into the minds of the entire Goddess Alliance.
[Shouldn't a real reward be something more private and more personal?]
[For example... locking the heavy wooden door of this office with a "click," and drawing all the floor-to-ceiling curtains so the Anbu outside can't see a single ray of light.]
[Then, let me, the great hero, lie comfortably on that leather sofa that looks so soft.]
[The most important part—Granny Tsunade, you don't need to say any official words. Just unbutton the collar of that Hokage robe, take off the Hokage hat, and turn back into that gentle (?) big sister...]
[What you should be holding isn't a pen, but a medical stethoscope. Lean down, bringing with you the scent of sake and a mature woman's fragrance, and whisper in my ear: "Good work. Let me personally check if your body has sustained any damage from exhaustion... especially here..."]
Naruto's gaze swept unscrupulously over the "examination areas" in his imagination.
[This kind of Hokage-exclusive full-body private consultation is the kind of reward that gets a man's blood pumping! For this, never mind the Sound Four; even if Orochimaru came ten more times, I'd crush him!]
Pfft—!
Tsunade had just picked up her teacup to hide her embarrassment when her hand jerked violently at the words "full-body private consultation."
Crack!
The delicate porcelain cup instantly turned to powder under her uncontrolled monstrous strength, and scalding tea flowed through her fingers all over the desk.
The entire office instantly fell silent.
Shikamaru's eyes widened. "La-Lady Tsunade? Are you alright?"
Tsunade had no time to deal with him. Her face turned beet red at a visible speed, even her neck flushing pink. Gritting her teeth, she glared at Naruto, who was still blinking innocently with his big eyes, wishing she could punch him into the horizon right now!
In the Hokage Office?! Locking the door?! Closing the curtains?!
What on earth is in this brat's head?! What consultation? That's clearly... unspoken rules!
[Ding!]
The emotionless mechanical prompt sounded in her mind.
[Detected: The host has been subjected to severe blasphemous fantasies regarding Hokage authority and private space. This fantasy possesses high situational interactivity and a sense of taboo.]
[Judgment: This rebellious thought has triggered a complex psychological state in your subconscious: "wanting to discipline yet being reluctant to refuse."]
[Special Reward Settlement: Acquired Environmental Authority—[Hokage Office: Independent Private Domain] (When you are alone with the target, external perception will be automatically shielded by the system). Acquired Skill Advancement—[Taijutsu: Precision Strike: Physiotherapy Version] (Your attacks will carry the effect of soothing meridians; it looks like you're beating someone up, but in reality, you're... conditioning them?).]
Tsunade took a deep breath, her chest heaving significantly. Looking at the system's rewards, she was both angry and amused. Was there something wrong with this system too? Was it encouraging her to actually perform a "private consultation"?
But... if she didn't give this brat some sweetness, wouldn't it make her seem like a stingy Hokage? Besides, after his description just now... a strange impulse actually bubbled up in her heart.
*Cough!*
Tsunade cleared her throat forcefully, ignoring the teacup that had been crushed to powder, and forced a serious, business-like expression.
"Money and scrolls will be distributed to you by Shizune later."
She paused, her eyes flickering as they fell on Naruto, her voice tightening for some reason. "As for Uzumaki Naruto..."
Sakura, Hinata, and Ino's ears immediately perked up, alarms blaring in their heads.
"Considering you are the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki, your emotional fluctuations during this battle were too great, and the seal may be at risk of instability. Also, your Chakra meridians seem a bit... messy."
Tsunade spoke nonsense she didn't even believe herself, her fingers unconsciously tapping the desk. "So, as a reward, and as a necessary medical examination..."
"From now on, after your special training ends every day, come to my office by yourself at 9:00 PM."
At this, her voice lowered slightly, and an unnatural flush crossed her face. "Remember to use the window; don't let the Anbu see you. I will... personally check your seal and physical condition."
Boom!
These words were like a thunderbolt, striking everyone else in the office dumb.
Shikamaru's jaw nearly hit the floor, his eyes bulging. 9:00 PM? Use the window? Don't let anyone see? Personally check his body?!
Was this the legendary "special tutoring" from the Hokage-sama?
"Eh? Really?"
Only Naruto wore a pure and radiant smile, though the girls present knew exactly what was hidden beneath that smile.
[Holy crap! It actually worked?!]
[Is this what they call "wishes coming true"? Granny Tsunade really does dote on me! Although I don't know if it'll be a full-body check, being able to openly enter and exit this office filled with the scent of a mature older sister type... this is the first step of a successful man!]
[Hehe, just you wait. Sooner or later, I'll turn that stethoscope script into reality!]
Just as Naruto was exulting inwardly, he suddenly felt several chilly gazes piercing his back.
He looked back to see Sakura giving him a "kindly" smile while her knuckles cracked; Hinata's face was so red it looked like it would bleed, and her index fingers weren't just poking each other, they were practically tied in a knot; meanwhile, Ino was staring unhappily at Tsunade's chest, seemingly comparing something.
[Ding!]
A system prompt also popped up in Naruto's mind.
[Congratulations to the host! Achievement Unlocked: [Night Visit to the Hokage]. Acquired [S-rank Privilege: Hokage Office Pass].]
[Since this reward has triggered intense jealousy and a territorial crisis within the Goddess Alliance, the host has additionally acquired: [All-Attribute Resistance: Minor Increase (To survive a bit longer in the Shura Field)].]
"Alright, everyone out!" Tsunade hurriedly waved them away, fearing she would lose her composure if she stayed any longer.
Everyone withdrew, each with their own thoughts.
It wasn't until the office door closed again that Tsunade slumped into her chair like a deflated balloon. She touched her burning cheeks and looked down at her collar, which was slightly disheveled from her agitation.
"A stethoscope, huh..."
The world-famous Fifth Hokage of the Ninja Worldopened her drawer as if possessed, staring at a set of medical instruments inside with a playful glint in her eyes.
"Hmph, brat. Since you want an examination, I'll let you taste... what a real 'examination' feels like."