Chapter 75: Jiraiya's Research Route? This is a Beauty Pageant Grand Slam!
Leaving the gates of Konoha, the world outside suddenly opened up.
For Uzumaki Naruto, who had just finished a major battle and recklessly teased Tsunade, this should have been a new beginning.
But.
Naruto was staring with dead fish eyes at the white-haired man with a large scroll on his back, and the map in his hand covered in red circles.
"Listen up, Naruto."
Jiraiya put on a serious face, even trying to act like one of the Legendary Sannin, as he pointed forcefully at a desolate mountain range on the map.
"To let you control the Nine-Tailed within three years, we must leave crowded places!"
"First stop, Zazen at the Toad Oil Waterfall deep within Mount Myōboku! Then, we'll head to the bitter cold lands of the north to train your body! Only in such harsh places can one forge a resilient will! This is what being a Ninja is all..."
"Stop, stop, stop!"
Naruto unceremoniously interrupted his 'teacher,' snatched the map away, and didn't even try to hide the look of disgust on his face.
The little theater in his mind had already begun, and he was completely unaware that his inner thoughts were being transmitted through an invisible signal to everyone in the Goddess Alliance.
[Willpower? Willpower my foot, Pervy Sage!]
[Mount Myōboku? That place is full of toads! You want me to spend three years staring at bumpy skins all over the mountains?]
[These are my three years! The golden age for a protagonist like me to grow! If I can't see Hinata's shy face, touch Teacher Kurenai's smooth long hair, or see Granny Tsunade's rule-breaking figure for three years... I'm already miserable enough, and you want me to be a monk in the deep mountains?]
[No way, absolutely not! For my physical and mental health, and for the future beauties of the Ninja World... I must be the one to call the shots on this trip!]
In a quiet tea room in Konoha Village.
The goddesses, who were drinking tea while exchanging information through the 'Heavenly Curtain Group Chat,' stopped their movements simultaneously.
Ino's eye twitched, while Anko swallowed half a skewer of dango in one go and let out a muffled sneer.
[See, I knew it. This kid hasn't even gone five miles, and he's already thinking about rounding up all the beauties in the world into his territory.]
Just as the goddesses began to plot, on a forest path, Naruto took a red pen from his Ninja tool bag and quickly drew a brand-new route on the map that was covered with 'bitter training locations.'
"Pervy Sage, your vision is too narrow!"
Naruto drew circles while wearing a look of pity, speaking in a tone only fellow travelers would understand: "Have the sales of 'make-out tactics' been poor lately? Is Kakashi-sensei not even pressuring you for updates anymore?"
Jiraiya's face stiffened as he was hit where it hurt: "That's... because readers don't understand art! The market is just in a slump..."
"Wrong!"
Naruto wagged a finger.
"No one reads your books because the material is too cliché! It's always bathhouses, hot springs, and chance encounters... readers are bored! You need innovation! You need more exciting character designs and scenarios!"
He pointed forcefully at the southwest of the map, a place he had been thinking about since watching anime in his previous life.
"Look here—Nadeshiko Village!"
Naruto's voice instantly became excited, every word painting a picture:
"Do you know what kind of place this is? It's a warrior race made entirely of women! Not only are they skilled, but they all wear tight fighting suits that show off their figures!"
"What's the key? Their tradition is—if they want a man, they have to defeat him in battle, and if they win, they can take him back to marry! What is this? This is the script for a dominant mature older sister type and a forced 'little milk dog' husband!"
"Think about it: an arena under the moonlight, a cold female village chief pinning you to the ground, locking you with her powerful thighs, and whispering in your ear, 'Man, you've lost. From today on, you are mine.'... Tsk tsk tsk! This kind of contrast! This feeling of conquest! How could it not be a hit if you write it into your book?!"
Boom—!
Jiraiya's throat bobbed, and his usually squinted eyes widened. He was clearly moved by words like 'female village chief,' 'forced marriage,' and 'thigh chokehold.'
But he still tried to maintain his elder's poise: "Cough... well, that is indeed a bit interesting, but our main goal is to train..."
"Look here too!"
Naruto's pen didn't stop, quickly moving toward a country further west.
"Land of Demons!"
"A Priestess! A sacred Priestess!"
"Think about that Priestess named Shion. She usually wears complex priestess robes and talks about 'predicting death' and 'destiny' all day with a cold, abstinent face."
"But, if you use passion and sincerity to move her heart... imagine, behind the curtains of the temple, she takes off her headpiece, her cheeks flushing red. To repay you for saving her life, she gently pulls open that white collar... pulling the high-and-mighty goddess down from her altar, making her blush only for you. That feeling..."
Pfft—!
Jiraiya covered his nose as two streams of blood leaked through his fingers. He felt his inspiration erupting like a volcano.
"Is... is there more?" His voice was trembling. He didn't look like the Toad Sage at all; he was completely a perverted old man thirsty for knowledge.
"Of course!"
Naruto's pen tip lunged toward the northernmost part of the map, nearly piercing the paper.
"Land of Snow! Koyuki Kazahana! She's a huge star in the Ninja World right now!"
"The entertainment industry! We can visit the film set!"
"Think about it: a queen who is usually radiant on screen and adored by thousands, but in reality, had a miserable childhood and needs a hero to protect her."
"If we can sneak onto the set as bodyguards or doubles... when the director shouts 'cut,' in the dressing room, seeing her tired and dependent look after removing her makeup... you could even act with her, a snowfield embrace where fake feelings become real... it would drive all the otakus in the Ninja World crazy with jealousy!"
"And the hot springs in the Land of Snow are open-air, with views of the snow! Bathing while it snows, with a blushing female star wrapped in a towel next to you who just finished filming... Pervy Sage, are you sure you don't want to go? This is for research! For art! For 'make-out tactics' to return to its peak!"
"We're going! Anyone who doesn't go is a coward!"
Jiraiya let out a roar, startling the birds in the forest into flight.
He snatched the map back, rolled it up like a treasure, and tucked it into his robe. Then he slapped Naruto's shoulder hard with his large hand, his eyes filled with tears of having found a kindred spirit.
"Naruto... I misjudged you! I didn't expect your level of human observation to have reached such heights!"
"You're right! True cultivation is found in the mortal world! We can't just mess around on our own! Let's go! For research! For literature!"
The two figures, one large and one small, strode toward the sun. They looked heroic, yet there was a lingering air of wretchedness about them.
[Hehe, mission accomplished.]
Naruto walked ahead with a wicked smirk on his face.
[What's so good about toads? Even if I learn Sage Jutsu, I'm going to learn it while holding a female star! In three years, I'll not only become stronger, but I'll return to Konoha in glory with my 'research results'... or my future wives!]
[Just you wait, my goddesses! I'm going to collect all the top-tier beauties in the Ninja World!]
[Ding!]
A system notification sound that only Naruto could hear rang out.
[Detected that the host has established a grand and lecherous world-class conquest route.]
[Your spirit of universal love has moved the system.]
[Obtained special auxiliary item: [Ninja World Geographic Illustrated Guide: Stunning Beauty Edition].]
[Function Description: This map will mark in real-time the coordinates, favorability changes, and conquest weaknesses (e.g., Tsundere/Lacking Love/Masochist) of S-rank beauties within a hundred-mile radius. Helping you conduct precise research.]
Naruto's steps became even lighter.
In the Hokage Building, Tsunade, who was supposed to be grading documents, crushed her pen into a twist. In the air before her, the pink subtitles on the heavenly curtain were slowly disappearing.
[Full collection? Top-tier? The female village chief of Nadeshiko Village? The star of the Land of Snow?]
[That brat... I'm wearing myself out for him in Konoha, having to deal with those old geezers. And he has the nerve to do this as soon as he leaves?!]
[Is this what he meant by 'returning with results'? Bringing back a bunch of vixens to compete with me for my position?!]
On a mountain path several miles away, Jiraiyasuddenly shivered, feeling a chill down his spine.
"What's wrong, Pervy Sage?"
"No... nothing. Maybe the mountain breeze is just a bit cold." Jiraiya tightened his clothes and pulled a small notebook from his robe. "Anyway, Naruto, since you're such an excellent research partner, I've decided to teach you a life-saving... cough, a practical ultimate technique in advance."
"What is it?" Naruto asked curiously.
Jiraiya gave a wretched chuckle and held up two fingers: "Since we're going to places with so many women, concealment is the most important thing. This technique, 'Insights into Environmental Optical Stealth based on Transparent Release Principles,' is the summary of my lifetime of peeping... cough, scouting experience!"
[System Notification: Jiraiya's (NPC) recognition has increased. Learned [Passive Skill: Perception Shielding - Peeping Specialization]. Effect: When the host is lurking for research purposes, their aura presence is reduced by 80%.]
"Wow! This is great! I definitely have to learn this!"
The laughter of the two echoed through the empty mountain forest, sounding particularly grating.