"Let me tell you, Madara had this bad habit. If someone stood behind him, he couldn't even pee properly..."
"And he was worse than me at skipping stones..."
"His smile was scary too. He even made the village kids cry..."
"..."
"Hahahaha..."
The First Hokage seemed as though he had not spoken about Madara Uchiha with anyone for a very long time. The more he talked, the more stories poured out.
He dumped out one childhood story after another about himself and Madara, and Haru listened with great interest from the side.
The stories shown in the anime were only the tip of the iceberg of their legendary lives. Hearing the stories directly from the man himself was much more entertaining.
Haru also learned some little-known stories about Madara.
For example, the two of them had once gone out to eat together, and both assumed the other one was paying, so neither brought any money. The owner caught them, thought they were trying to dine and dash, and made them wash dishes all day to work off the debt.
And Madara had actually once had a first love...
That was huge news.
When it came to gossip about a figure like Madara, Haru immediately leaned closer to Hashirama with a shamelessly curious look and asked him to tell the rest.
What kind of girl could possibly have made Lord Madara's heart stir?
Hashirama did not actually know the answer. He only knew that on that day, Madara had quietly said he was going to confess, and had even mocked Hashirama for being single, saying he was doomed to die alone.
The outcome was easy to imagine.
The girl told Madara that she only saw him as an older brother, and that his feelings were troubling her.
"Madara was depressed for quite a while after getting rejected. In the end, it was me who helped him get through the heartbreak..."
"Hahahahaha..."
Hashirama seemed to recall that gloomy, lovesick version of Madara and burst into laughter again.
When your best friend failed at confessing, it was certainly tragic.
But if he had succeeded, then the tragic one would have been Hashirama, since he would have gotten mocked forever for being the single one.
In the end, it was better for your friend to suffer than yourself.
"I remember when I married Mito, Madara secretly came to see me once. His face looked full of resentment, like he really wasn't happy about it, but he still gave me a wedding gift. I heard he'd saved up for an entire month to prepare it..."
Hashirama kept talking, reminiscing about everything between himself and Madara. Haru sat there quietly listening, occasionally cutting in with a question or two. Whenever Madara and Hashirama were involved, Madara was usually the one ending up embarrassed, and Haru found those moments particularly fascinating.
Hashirama was also quite happy to satisfy some of his junior's curiosity and share a few embarrassing stories from Madara's younger days.
And so the two of them talked for one or two full hours. Hashirama still had not had enough by the end. He had recounted every amusing story about Madara he could think of, and Haru listened so intently that it felt incredibly satisfying.
"All right, it's about time. I should return to the Pure Land now. Thank you, Third Hokage. I had a very enjoyable time tonight..."
"Remember to send my regards to Mito..."
So now you finally remembered Uzumaki Mito. For a while I thought you'd forgotten you even had a wife.
Haru nodded, though inwardly he could not help complaining.
"And Toma, and Tsunade..."
"Oh, right, you absolutely must remind Tsunade not to keep gambling. If she keeps going like this, she'll never get married. Gambling addicts never end well. You absolutely have to tell her that..."
At that point, Hashirama could not help regretting it. Why had he ever taught Tsunade how to throw dice just because he was bored?
When it came to gambling, Tsunade's talent had practically been maxed out. She understood every rule after hearing it just once.
Unfortunately, both her skill and luck were even more absurd than his, to the point where she had reached the stage of losing every single bet.
And when she started losing money, the crazy fire in her eyes could only be suppressed by Mito...
Hashirama truly did not know what unlucky bastard would one day fall for Tsunade. As her grandfather, he could not help silently mourning for the future husband of that girl.
May he not go bankrupt because of his wife gambling away the family fortune...
Haru nodded deeply in agreement. That line about gamblers never ending well was one he fully accepted.
In the future, Tsunade had probably already blown through the family's entire fortune. If she were not so ridiculously powerful, she might already have been sold off to a brothel to pay back debts.
"Konoha is in your hands now, Third Hokage."
Hashirama looked at Haru with full expectation. After this brief exchange, Hashirama had formed a very favorable impression of Haru. He seemed like he would make an excellent Hokage.
"Don't worry, First Hokage-sama. Konoha will become even stronger in my hands."
After bidding farewell to Hashirama, Haru cut off Hashirama's consciousness, but did not release the Reanimation Jutsu. He still had an idea he wanted to test.
Long-Term Mission: Defeat Hashirama Senju head-on.
Haru looked at that long-term mission. Right now, Hashirama in this state was as weak as a genin.
"First Hokage, attack me with everything you've got!"
Haru issued the command to Hashirama. Hashirama suddenly charged at him, but in the very next instant Haru blasted him into ashes with Lightning Release. A moment later, Hashirama regenerated from the ashes.
However, Haru did not hear the notification that the mission had been completed.
So that kind of trick would not work after all.
To complete the system's long-term mission, he would probably need to reanimate Hashirama at a level as close as possible to his strength in life, then defeat him properly.
Haru let out a sigh, but did not feel too disappointed.
He had never expected much from this kind of bug-abusing shortcut in the first place. It had only been an experiment.
If it failed, then it failed. There was nothing worth regretting.
If it had succeeded, that would simply have been a huge profit.
The damned system really did not leave any loopholes to exploit.
Heartless trash system...
Haru cursed the system, then turned and walked toward the small side room, dragging out the unconscious condemned prisoner from inside.
Compared to Hashirama, that had only been an appetizer.
Now the real main course was beginning.
Haru adjusted his mindset. He was about to use Reanimation Jutsu to bring back Tobirama Senju.
That was the truly difficult one.
That was the kind of man who would genuinely fight Haru to the death the moment things went wrong. He had to be cautious and absolutely could not be careless.
Haru carefully inspected the formula carved into the ground to make sure nothing would go wrong. He absolutely had to keep firm control over the reanimated Tobirama.
He also checked the seals around the room.
Since this chamber stored the Uchiha clan's secret documents, the Uchiha had always been extremely thorough. All sorts of sealing techniques had been layered over it, including special seals specifically meant to counter space-time ninjutsu.
Haru felt they had clearly been designed with Tobirama in mind, as if they were afraid that if they were not careful, Tobirama would empty out the clan's entire vault.
Once everything was ready, Haru formed hand seals and cast Reanimation Jutsu. The condemned prisoner, still unconscious, passed very peacefully. He did not feel much pain before turning into a mound of ash and dust.
"Rise again, my Tobirama!"
Haru shouted loudly as Tobirama Senju emerged from the pile of ash...
(End of Chapter)
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