After days of waiting, Rhett finally saw his chance.
"Finally! Someone's actually coming!"
Perched on his makeshift watchtower, Rhett nearly toppled over in excitement as he spotted a small sailboat approaching in the distance.
Eight months of survival on this deserted island had toughened him up beyond recognition—taller, stronger, his long hair tied into a messy bun. The sight of a human vessel was almost too much to bear.
"Please be the Straw Hats... Please be the Straw Hats..." He clasped his hands together in prayer before suddenly freezing. Wait. What if it's Blackbeard's crew? Gotta be sure. If I can't tell, I'm running.
As the boat drew closer, Rhett squinted. A straw-hatted youth stood at the bow, next to a blond man wearing glasses. Too far to make out their faces, but that hat...
"Monkey D. Luffy! It's Luffy!" Rhett flailed wildly. "I knew that River Deity wouldn't screw me over this badly!"
Too hyped to think straight, Rhett completely missed the fact that the guy next to Straw Hat should've been a green-haired swordsman.
He quickly adjusted his "fashionable caveman" ensemble—stitched together from wild boar hide—and laid out his carefully preserved roasted boar and coconut juice on the beach.
The moment the boat touched shore, Rhett charged forward. "Monkey D. Luffy! Roronoa Zoro! I've missed you guys so much!"
The straw-hatted youth blinked. "Who's Luffy?"
The blond man adjusted his glasses. "I'm Rayleigh. He's Roger."
Rhett stiffened. His brain short-circuited. Roger? Rayleigh? Why do those names sound so familiar...
"Wait," he croaked, already dreading the answer. "Your full names are...?"
"Gol D. Roger," the straw-hatted man answered cheerfully. "We're a brand-new pirate crew!"
Rhett's face went slack. He slowly looked down.
The name echoed in his skull. The world spun.
"River Deity... I swear to god..." Rhett collapsed onto his knees, clutching his head.
THIS IS LIKE 40-50 YEARS TOO EARLY!!!
He lifted his head, staring at the absurdly young Roger. His future self would be a sixty-year-old geezer by then.
Sixty?! That's prime adventure age?! What kind of joke is this?!
"Hey, kid, you're pretty enthusiastic!" Roger laughed, hopping off the boat.
Rhett studied his face. A dumb meme surfaced in his mind. "So... how old are you, old man?"
Dead silence.
Roger blinked at Rayleigh, confused.
Rayleigh sighed. "Captain, he's asking your age."
"Ahahaha! I'm nineteen!" Roger thumped his chest proudly. "Do I look mature? I'm gonna conquer the Grand Line, y'know!"
Rhett's soul left his body. Nineteen?! The Pirate King at nineteen?! What do I do if I time-travel into One Piece but the protagonist hasn't even started his journey?! SOS!
"Then... uh... mister..." Rhett turned to Rayleigh.
"I'm twenty!" The future Dark King looked personally offended. "Do I really look that old to you, brat?!"
"Nah, not really."
"So," Rayleigh mused, intrigued. "This 'Monkey D. Luffy' you mentioned is..."
"Oh, just a friend! Y'know, shipwrecked and all. Bro stuff." Rhett barely stopped himself from rambling further.
Eight months alone had turned his social starvation into a ravenous beast.
Roger's eyes sparkled. "How'd you get here? On an adventure?"
"Nope. Just—blah blah hungry, conquer the seas man! Blub blub! Wahhh!" Rhett shook his head violently before faceplanting into the sand. "What the hell am I even saying?!"
Roger picked his nose. Rayleigh grilled meat. Neither seemed bothered.
Rhett frowned. "Aren't you guys weirded out finding a random kid alone on an island?"
Roger boomed with laughter. "Nah! The sea's for everyone, right?"
Rhett pondered. "So... you wanna be Pirate King someday?"
Roger and Rayleigh exchanged glances—then exploded into hysterics.
"Pirate King?! Hahaha! I love it!" Roger wiped tears away. "That's the goal now! I'll be the freest man on the seas!"
Rhett: "..."
Before he could speak, Roger and Rayleigh cut him off.
"Enough talk, Rhett! Wanna join our crew? Adventure's just starting! Sailing alone's gotta be boring, right?"
Rhett stared at their carefree grins. Boring, huh? Classic Roger Pirates.
A competitive fire ignited in him. "Hey, Roger! Fight me!"
He sprang up, eyes blazing. This was the future King of the Pirates. Missing this chance would be criminal.
Rhett grinned. Time to style on the Pirate King! He was a Logia user, after all. How strong could a rookie Roger be?
Roger swallowed his last bite of meat. "Huh? What'd you say?"
"I said—" Rhett's body dissolved into swirling mist. Gotta set the field first.
Roger kept digging for gold in his nostril.
"Oi! Take this seriously!" Rhett's vein bulged. "I'm giving you a proper challenge here!"
Rayleigh sipped coconut juice lazily. "Captain, he's threatening you."
"Eh? Oh!" Roger finally perked up. "A fight? Shoulda led with that!"
Rhett bared his teeth. "I DID, you idiot!"
Then—
A primal chill shot down Rhett's spine. Roger hadn't moved, yet the air itself felt heavier.
"Here I go~" Roger grinned, raising his fists in a weird stance.
Rhett's confidence wavered. Bro, you're this strong already?! Shoulda read the fine print...
He fully dispersed into mist. "Mirage: Sea of Illusions!" Seven clones materialized around Roger.
"Whoa! Cool!" Roger's eyes sparkled—then—
*THUD.*
A single, no-frills punch folded Rhett in half. All illusions shattered.
Rhett: ?????Dude, you're Saitama now?! You're making me look bad! His mist was supposed to mess with Observation Haki!
"Cough... How... did you...?" Rhett gagged.
"Hm?" Roger tilted his head. "Didn't 'see' anything. Just felt like you'd be there."
Rayleigh shrugged. "Captain's instincts are freakish."
"Voice of All Things...?" Rhett staggered up and slammed his palms down. "Mist Prison: Thousand Needles!"
Dozens of razor-sharp mist spikes erupted from the sand.
Roger weaved through them like a drunk dancer, humming off-key.
"My turn!" He lunged, fist cutting through the air like cannonfire.
Rhett turned to mist—only for Roger to shout, "Gotcha!"
An Armament-hardened hand clamped onto Rhett's neck, lifting him like a scruffed kitten.
Life lost all meaning.
"Eh? That's it?" Roger pouted. "Well... party time!"