The very next day, Ashley started acting cold towards him. He didn't think much of it at first, thinking that she was a bit bothered by yesterday, he figured he should at least ask if something's wrong. "No, nothing wrong." She answered nonchalantly. Well, good then, Zack thought, the coldness is rather jarring though. Maybe she's stress from work, maybe it was the Monday blues, or maybe they been seeing each other every day, so she needs some space from him.
He didn't bother her during work hours anyways cuz he's focused on work, but even during lunch, she stopped joining the lunch group. "I brought my own food today, feel free to join them."
"No, of course I'd choose to eat with you over them!" he says, but even after she nodded, they'd eat in silence as she'd only give one worded answers and nods to anything he had to say.
The next day, Zack invited her for lunch thinking that her mood might have blown over, she said she'd like to sit at her desk and watch a show while eating her bread instead. So he respected her decision. But while he was heating up his own food, he saw their lunch gang invite her out to lunch as well, and she went with them. That stung, and he knew he couldn't just leave it at that, so he texted her one more time. "Hey, are you sure you're okay? You've seen very cold and distant from me lately."
"Got meh?"
"Well yeah, I invited you to lunch, you didn't wanna go, which is fair enough but then you went with the group instead, that kinda stung."
"I see."
"Are you sure there's nothing wrong? We can talk about it." She left him at read, he doesn't know what to do, but he figures pushing her for an answer would only make him come off as needy, so he left it till the end of the work day, when he texted her again. "Hey, is it because you just need some space? We been seeing each other everyday since we're colleagues now."
Finally, she answered. "Yeah actually."
"Alright, I understand, but just tell me next time aight? My brain is coming up with assumptions like crazy!"
That was it. Zack thought that was it, she just needed some space, there was nothing to worry about. At least that's what he tried to convince himself. What happened the very next day didn't help, because he saw her usual, laughing and happy self. He was happy for her but didn't understand why she wouldn't be that way around him anymore. "She just needs space." He reminds himself, but it stung when she seems so happy around their colleague Khai from sourcing. They were pushing each other in office chairs, he was buying her snacks, and he's been joining her for lunch. Alarm bells went off in Zack's head. But he needed to calm down. "I know you're insecure you fucktard." He tells himself, the self loathing from not too long ago had started to rear it's ugly face again. "But you need to trust her, she chose you after all, everything you're seeing is just your imagination, you promised her space, you're gonna give her space, just do small gestures for her to let her know you're still there for her."
So the next day, he joined the lunch group as they went down to their usual cafe. Ashley was there too, but so was Khai, and as much as he tries to rationalize it, he doesn't know why she's sticking with him so much. He bought her a coffee boba, cuz he knows that's what she likes. She looked at him blankly and just took it without a word. "Waaah, so nice you get coffee!" Khai said in a banterous tone.
"Do you want one too?" She asks him back. And right there on front of Zack, bought the exact same coffee for Khai.
It felt like a gut punch. So when another guy in the lunch group, Khoo said he needed to go to the store, Zack volunteered to accompany him. He just needed to get away from there. "I'll come too!" said Khai, which was fine by Zack, Khai was his friend too after all, and he personally doesn't have an issue with him... does he?
Ashley stopped him. "Hey Khai, why don't you join us for lunch instead? Your takeaway will get cold." Khai shrugged and joined the rest of the girls instead, and Zack felt a second gut punch. It doesn't feel like he's her boyfriend anymore.
Khoo noticed this, and asked him: "Two of you like not close... Why so weird?"
"I don't know man." Zack admits. "She's just been suddenly cold all week towards me. When I asked her if something's wrong, she said she just needed space, but I don't know why she's just straight up ignoring me."
Khoo just shrugs and made the tea drinking gesture. "Women."
Zack chuckles a bit. He knows it's a sexist meme, but he didn't expect him to say that, so it was funny. It cheered him up for a while and while he was shopping with Khoo, he forgot about it for a while. But back in the office, Ashley had apparently brought doughnuts for everyone. "Hey Khoo, you want some?" She offered him, but not Zack who was standing right beside him. And it felt like a third gut punch. That's when Zack decided that he needs more self respect. He shouldn't be letting a girl treat him like this, fuck giving her space, he'll need to say something about this.
"Put your foot down." He said to himself. "Be firm." This was his first relationship, and after all of the previous hurdles, he thought this would just be another one that they'd overcome with communication. But this time it felt different. It doesn't feel like she's fighting with him, for the first time, it felt like she has something against him, so he needs to make sure she's on the same page. "Don't antagonize her, seek clarity." He told himself, took a deep breath and typed a message.
"Hey Ashley, we need to talk, do you still want a relationship with me or not?"
It was simple and straightforward. If she said no. That would be the end of it, it'll hurt, but his healing journey could begin.
Her reply came in quickly. "Wooow, look who finally decided to text me." It left Zack confused. "I waited for you to text me for so long, you never texted me, and now you pointing fingers at me? Damn..."
This threw him completely off. "You wanted me to text you? When?"
"Wednesday night! I thought you'd text to ask me why I needed space, also yes, I want to break up! I was waiting all night that night for you to text me so I could break up properly, but you never did! I was so damn tired the next day, fuck you!"
Zack was so confused. "Okay? I'm sorry? But I thought you said you wanted space! So I left you space. If you wanted to talk, you could have texted me!"
"Damn, pointing fingers at me again! Fuck this shit laa Isaac." Using his actual name somehow made it hurt more. "And I'm so tired of getting left on read! You don't leave your fucking girlfriend on read!"
"When have I left you on read?"
She then sent a screenshot of Zack sending her a meme, to which she replied "HAHA" and he reacted a laughing emoji on it.
"I reacted!"
"Reacted = replied? Don't make me laugh, no way you're this stupid!"
"Sorry? I didn't know that reacting was not enough for you! You could have communicated that!" Though he sent that, internally, he was wondering how in the world does one reply with "HAHA"?
"Fuck you and your preaching of communication! You're a terrible communicator! You don't even text me after work!"
"I didn't know you wanted me to text you everyday after work, If you wanted me to, I'd happily do it if you have told me!"
"Do I have to tell you everything? Spoon feed you how to be a boyfriend? Put in all the effort? Go find yourself some other girl to be your slave. I'm done!"
And that was it. He didn't know what else to say, he didn't know if there's anything he could say, That was just how his first relationship ended after just 2 months. He stared at the screen as tears welled up in his eyes. He thought he was prepared for it, he sought closure, they broke up, they got it, but does it feel so wrong? Why did he feel so... trash?