Inside the Goblin Kingdom.
[Quest: Recruit the Great Goblin for the Dragon Kingdom.]
[Reward: Upgraded Silver Mystery Box.]
[Quest: Obtain the One Ring.]
[Reward: Golden Mystery Box.]
The sight of two high-tier missions flickered in Smaug's mind. Two targets, one mountain. Let's do this.
"You are well aware that my halls in Erebor overflow with gold and jewels," Smaug began, leaning into his draconic authority.
The Great Goblin, jiggling slightly on his throne, nodded eagerly. "Every creature from here to the Blue Mountains knows of your hoard, Exalted One."
"I am prepared to share a portion of that wealth with your people," Smaug continued. "In exchange, you will pack up this ramshackle city and move your entire kingdom to the Lonely Mountain."
"..." The Great Goblin blinked, his greasy face contorting in confusion. "Why? Why would a Magnificent Drake want us? We are... well, we are Goblins."
Truthfully, while the gold was tempting, the Goblin King didn't want to move. He liked his junk-pile throne and his damp tunnels.
"Because I like a crowded house," Smaug smiled, showing his serrated teeth. "I already have hundreds of humans, a skin-changer, and seven Stone Giants. But even so, the Mountain feels empty."
"I searched my mind for a race with the numbers to truly fill the halls, and the answer was obvious: you."
Smaug decided to add a layer of "Prophetic Dread" to seal the deal. "Aside from that, have you heard the prophecy of Erebor? The one that says my reign ends when the birds of yore return?"
The Goblin King's eyes shifted. "I... I have heard whispers. Something about the birds and the end of the Beast."
"Do you believe it?" Smaug chuckled.
"Of course not!" the Great Goblin lied smoothly. "You are invincible! Who could end your reign? Those pathetic Dwarves? You scattered them like dust before! If you hadn't been so merciful, there wouldn't be a Dwarf left in Middle-earth!"
"Hah! You speak with a wise tongue, Goblin King," Smaug mocked. "Perhaps I should have been more thorough. But the problem is... I believe the prophecy."
"And so, I consulted a very powerful Seer. This Seer told me that the prophecy can be rewritten. The key is to bring the Goblins to the Mountain."
"??????" The Great Goblin was lost. What kind of crack-pot Seer is this?
He still didn't want to move. "Exalted Smaug, I wish to serve, truly! But the logistics—"
"The Seer also gave me a second option," Smaug interrupted, his voice dropping an octave into a low, predatory growl. "He said that if your kingdom ceased to exist entirely, the prophecy would also be neutralized."
Gulp.
The Great Goblin's fat jiggled with a sudden, violent tremor. Ceased to exist? Did the dragon mean... roasted into a pile of charred bones?
The King's survival instinct won out instantly. He managed a sniveling, greasy grin. "Exalted Smaug! On second thought, the air in the Lonely Mountain is said to be very refreshing! We shall begin the migration at once!"
Smart boy.
"Excellent!" Smaug chirped. "I believe you'll find the Mountain much improved. Since you loathe the sun, I expect you to travel by night. I'll give you two weeks to arrive. Is that sufficient?"
"Ample time, Your Greatness! We shall be there!"
"Good. I'll have my humans prepare a feast. We'll celebrate your arrival," Smaug promised. "Now, for the second matter. I need a small favor. Can I lean in? This is a private request."
The Great Goblin's heart hammered. Leaning in? Is he going to eat me?
But he couldn't refuse. He scurried down from his throne and offered his grotesque ear to the Eagle's beak. Smaug leaned in and whispered his instructions.
The Extraction
The Great Goblin personally selected fifty of his most vicious, well-armed scouts.
Smaug didn't stay behind to wait. He shifted into a Raven—a form that blended perfectly with the shifting shadows of the deep tunnels—and glided silently behind the Goblin squad.
He knew Gollum was no ordinary target. The creature was slippery, desperate, and lived for the hunt. Smaug needed to ensure there were no "accidents."
Deep in the absolute dark, near the edge of the freezing lake, Gollum was busy "enjoying" a stray Goblin that had fallen from the walkways earlier. He was muttering to himself, his voice a miserable, hissing rasp.
"Nasty Goblinses... not tasty, no, precious. But we must eats. We is so hungry..."
Gollum! Gollum!
Suddenly, the creature's oversized ears twitched. He froze, his large, pale eyes darting toward the ceiling. He dropped his "meal" and scurried into a narrow crack in the rock, snatching up a sharp stone as he went.
"What is it, precious? The Goblinses... they is coming down. Why is they coming down? They never comes down here..."
The fifty Goblins moved through the tunnel, their torches casting long, flickering shadows. Ordinarily, they would be terrified of the "Ghost of the Lake," but they were more afraid of the dragon waiting for them above.
Gollum watched them from the dark, his heart pounding. "We must hide, precious! No, we must move! If they finds us, they eats us!"
He began to crawl through the upper fissures, moving with a silent, spider-like grace. He was confident he could evade them.
But Smaug was watching from above.
As Gollum neared the exit of the cavern, the Raven let out a sharp, piercing, "CAW! CAW!"
The fifty Goblins turned as one. "There! Catch it!"
Gollum shrieked in rage. "Cursed bird! Curse you! Curse you!" He broke into a frantic sprint, his spindly limbs moving in a blur. But the Goblins were already upon him.
A heavy Goblin scout launched himself through the air, tackling the creature into the dirt. Gollum snarled, smashing the stone into the Goblin's skull with a sickening crack, but it was too late. Twenty more Goblins piled on top of him, pinning his wiry frame to the cold stone.
"Precious! They has us! Curse you, filthy Goblinses!"
The scouts didn't listen. They bound him tight with thick, greasy ropes. Once the target was secured, the Raven glided down and shifted into its Eagle form.
"Good work," Smaug said to the panting Goblins. "Return to your King. I will handle the prisoner from here."
The Goblins, eager to be away from the lake and the "talking bird," fled back toward the city.
Smaug stood alone in the dark with the bound Gollum. He let out a long breath of relief. His greatest fear was that Gollum would have the Ring on—if he had turned invisible, this would have been a nightmare. But the creature had been too hungry to be careful.
"What is you? Why does you speaks?" Gollum hissed, writhing in his bonds. "Curse you!"
"Quiet, Gollum. I have no intention of harming you," Smaug said gently. "Believe it or not, I think we could be friends."
"Lies! You brings the Goblinses! We has no friends!"
Smaug didn't argue. He shifted again, this time into the Miniature Troll. He knelt beside the wretched creature and reached into the rags around Gollum's waist.
Found it.
He pulled out a simple, unadorned gold band. The One Ring.
As the gold touched his skin, a seductive, oily whisper echoed in the back of Smaug's mind, promising power, dominion, and fire.
Smaug let out a sharp, dry laugh. "Oh, shut up. You think you can seduce a dragon? I've lived a thousand lives in my head, and I've got more gold than you can imagine. You're just a trinket."
The Ring's influence washed over him and simply... slid off. To a soul like Smaug's, the Ring was just an interesting piece of jewelry with a bad attitude.
"Precious! MY PRECIOUS!" Gollum shrieked, his eyes bulging as he watched his world being taken away.
Smaug ignored the screams and tucked the Ring safely into his system storage.
[Quest Complete: The One Ring obtained.]
[Golden Mystery Box issued to Storage.]
Jackpot.