Tian's Room : 2:25 A.M.
Tian was a mess on his bed. The luxury sheets felt cold, and his skin was still burning from the drug. He was breathing hard, his hand gripping himself so tight his knuckles were white.
Stop it, he told himself. She's just the makeup girl. Don't think about her.
But every time he closed his eyes, he saw Sana's face in that dark alley. He saw how worried she looked, and how her small, soft hands felt when she touched his neck to check his pulse. It felt better than any medicine the clinic gave him.
He started moving faster, his eyes squeezed shut. He wasn't thinking about being a "star" anymore. He just felt lonely and frustrated. In his head, he pictured her leaning over him again, her hair brushing his cheeks.
" please..." he thought, his chest heaving. "One more time... just one more time, please do it for me..."
He felt like a desperate child in his mind, just wanting her to hold him and not let go. He imagined her hands losing their professional touch and finally grabbing him, pulling him close until there was no space left.
"Damn it," he gasped, his voice breaking in the quiet room.
He didn't say her name out loud, but he was begging for her in his head. His movements got rough and desperate until he finally hit his limit, his back arching off the mattress as he let out a choked groan.
He lay there for a long time, panting and staring at the dark ceiling. He felt embarrassed that he was acting like this, but he couldn't help it. He wanted her so bad it hurt.
Tian's room was huge and cold. He was lying on his back, staring up at the dark ceiling while his heart pounded against his ribs. The sheets were a mess around him, and his skin was still humming from the drug.
He looked at his hand and felt a sharp sting of shame. He was a top idol. He had millions of fans who screamed his name, but here he was, alone in the dark, losing his mind over his makeup artist.
"What is wrong with me?" he muttered, his voice sounding rough and broken.
He tried to tell himself it was just the aphrodisiac. That his brain was just confused because Sayna was the only woman there when he was out of control. But deep down, he knew that was a lie. He remembered the way her small, cool hands felt on his neck. He remembered how she didn't pull away even when he was acting like a beast in that backseat.
In his head, he could still hear himself begging. "One more time... please... just for me."
He felt like a total loser. He was supposed to be the cool, distant star, but in his thoughts, he had been acting like a needy child reaching for her. He had never felt this way about anyone before—like he just wanted to hide his face in her neck and let the whole world disappear.
"She's just staff," he snapped at the empty room, trying to sound mean. "She's just there to fix my face."
But his heart wasn't listening. He kept thinking about the look in her eyes in the alley. Was she disgusted by him? Or did she feel the same spark he did?
He rolled over and buried his face in his pillow, trying to drown out the thoughts. He knew what he had to do tomorrow. He had to be cold. He had to be the "Great Tian" again. If he let her see how much he actually wanted her, his whole career would go up in flames.
"Forget it, Tian," he whispered to the dark. "She's just a touch-up girl. That's all she'll ever be."
But as he finally started to drift off, the last thing he saw was Sayna's face, and he knew tomorrow morning was going to be a total disaster.
———-
——-
The next morning….
Tian walked into the dressing room, and his heart did a weird flip the second he saw Sayna standing there. She looked tired, like she hadn't slept at all, and her hands were shaking while she messed with her makeup kit.
Don't look at her, he told himself, keeping his face like stone. You're a star. She's just the girl who does your eyeliner.
But his skin was still humming from the night before. Every time he caught her scent—that soft, clean smell—his brain went straight back to the backseat. He remembered how he'd basically begged for her in his head, acting like a needy kid. It made him feel pathetic. He was the great Tian, and here he was, losing his cool over a staff member.
He sat in the chair and watched her in the mirror. When she reached out, her fingers were trembling so much she almost poked his eye.
I can't do this, he thought, his chest tightening. If she keeps looking at me with those worried eyes, I'm going to break.
He had to stop it. Now. He had to be the "cold idol" or he was going to ruin everything—his career, his image, and hers too.
He reached out and grabbed her wrist. Her skin felt like fire against his, and for a second, he almost pulled her closer. But he forced his voice to stay flat and mean.
"Sayna," he said, his voice sounding deeper than usual. "About last night. In the car... and that alley."
He saw her face turn bright red, and she looked like she wanted to disappear. It hurt to see her like that, but he didn't stop.
"Forget it. All of it," he snapped, staring at her through the glass. "It was just the drug. It wasn't real. If you tell anyone, or if you ever look at me like that again... you're fired. I'll make sure you never work again."
He saw the hurt flash in her eyes, and he felt like a total jerk. He wanted to pull her into his lap and tell her he was sorry, that he'd spent the whole night thinking about her. But instead, he let go of her arm like he hated touching her.
"You're just my makeup artist, Sayna. That's it," he said, closing his eyes so he didn't have to see her crying. "Now stop shaking and fix my face. We're late."
Inside, his heart was screaming, Please don't hate me. But on the outside, he was just the cold, perfect star she was supposed to serve.