I couldn't understand why that bastard Zeus had to look for me. But when I heard the gods' voices echoing above the shadows, I was completely dumbfounded.
"'The person most fitting to choose the fairest goddess is the mortal deemed the fairest of all,' they said. What kind of fucked-up logic is that? Zeus, the bastard, is world-class at spouting bullshit every time he swings his dick around."
But as soon as they heard that, Athena first, then Hera, and finally Aphrodite went on a rampage to find me in Zeus's stead. So I watched Thetis and Peleus—the very bride and groom of this wedding—standing there. It was truly awful...
"Ugh, damn..."
The gods have pulled so much bullshit and thrown their weight around so hard (especially Apollo) that I've become constantly on edge. And here are Peleus, looking like he's about to burst into tears like a child, and Thetis, on the verge of snapping like a moody teenager but unable to because of the other gods... This is a real mess.
Zeus, that bastard... Even if I can't lay a curse on him, I honestly hope he ends up castrated one day, just like his grandfather. Well... that's not going to happen easily... but now there's no choice. Even if Thetis wouldn't, I can't help but help Peleus, given our old connection.
Well... it's great that I'm helping, but there's a problem from here on. As far as I recall, this event was originally centered on Paris, the Trojan prince. He chose Aphrodite, and that kicked off the Trojan War... but because of that troll Zeus bastard, I've been selected instead.
Right... the agonizing choice of having to pick the 'fairest goddess.' If I choose any one of the three, the other two will hold a grudge against me. And of course, they'll pitch their own offers to be recognized as the fairest goddess, just as they did to Paris.
Athena offers glory and honor in war, Aphrodite promises the most beautiful mortal woman in the world as a wife, and Hera offers wealth and power. But I couldn't care less about any of it.
Having power only means piling on pointless stress from the responsibility of protecting and guiding those beneath you, and I have no taste for glory or honor in war. A woman? No matter how pretty, if we don't click it's meaningless. Besides, this is end-of-days Greece. Real romance is impossible, and there's not a single woman here who even moves me.
"What good are looks if she can't deliver? There are so many pathetic, end-of-days brats around here with zero character... Besides, I'm already married. I don't need any other woman—"
"Iskios, where are you?!"
"I have something I want you to decide, do I not?!"
"Surely, you're hiding somewhere?!"
"Has the terror of Apollo been revived?!"
"There's no time to question Apollo! Iskios, where are you?!"
This won't do. The longer I stay hidden, the more the three goddesses rampage like children, and the groom and bride, Peleus and Thetis, just grow more miserable. Jason is trying to tell me with his expression to do something, I guess...
What the hell do they want me to do...!? As I ground my teeth cursing inwardly, I paused my thoughts for a moment. And I thought again. I haven't completely lost the upper hand in this shitty situation.
I've lived an unreasonable life in this end-of-days Greece, but I never gave up—I always got back up and overcame. The important thing is never to give up. And think, think of the key to breaking through this situation... Ah—!
"At a wedding, the bride and groom are the protagonists."
At the instant Zeus said that, Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite, as if in unanimous agreement, lit up their eyes and began searching for Iskios.
The reason those three started searching with such intensity was that they believed Zeus's words: 'The person most beautiful among mortals is the one truly capable of judging your beauty!' So they began calling his name throughout the wedding hall, looking for him.
"Come now, Iskios, I wish to hear your answer...!"
Hera's first direct encounter with Iskios came when she descended to punish Callisto. Though he was Selene's only son, there was a decisive difference between him and any Greek men she had seen before.
No man before her had faced her without fear; even her husband Zeus flinched in the face of her wrath. But Iskios was different. Though he felt fear, he had the reckless courage to throw himself between a stranger and danger. That recklessness struck a chord in Hera's heart.
"Iskios, I am eager to hear your answer...!"
Athena first met Iskios when Apollo had been stalking him for some time. The moment she saw his face, she, who had little interest in men, found herself intrigued by him as though for the first time she'd felt attraction.
Though she usually feigned indifference, Athena had been watching Iskios's every move. He did not pray for the gods to lend him power, but Athena saw in that prayer a resolve to overcome trials by his own strength. Concerned about what he might say this time, Athena, like the other two goddesses, was swept up in the atmosphere.
"Hehe! Naturally, I am the most beautiful being in this world!"
Aphrodite had only recently become acquainted with Iskios, but her mind remained unchanged. She held a strong pride in being the most beautiful goddess in the world, unbeatable in beauty. Admittedly, the moment she saw Iskios's face, she wavered thinking, 'Oh my, what a handsome man...!' but she saw this as the perfect opportunity.
If the most beautiful mortal man, Iskios, recognized her beauty, her own beauty would become an immortal legacy. As that thought spurred the three on to call out Iskios frantically, everyone—mortals and gods alike—saw something rise out of the shadows where Medea, Jason's wife, was standing.
"Ahhhh! There you are!"
"There you are, Iskios!"
"Hehe~! At last, the time has come to hear a definitive answer!"
The three goddesses, upon seeing Iskios reveal himself, each approached with triumphant smiles. Exposed to their overwhelming presence, Iskios nearly recoiled, but he didn't back down and instead faced them head-on.
As Iskios stepped out, Zeus, with a brazenly nonchalant expression, handed him the golden apple and told him to choose the fairest goddess. True to Iskios's expectations, Hera spoke up first.
"Iskios, if you give her this apple, I will grant you wealth, splendor, and absolute power."
The moment Hera made her offer, Jason's shoulders shook violently. Wealth, splendor, power—just imagining Iskios wielding them sent shivers through him.
He tried to think it couldn't happen, but the fear that his own power would be stolen welled up nonetheless, yet none of them perceived Jason's anxiety. Next came Athena.
"If you give me the apple, I will grant you glory and honor in war."
Athena presented her terms, but Iskios didn't waver. The decision was already made within him.
"Hehe, if you give me the apple, I will grant you the most beautiful mortal maiden as your bride."
Finally, Aphrodite made her proposal. Still, Iskios showed no grand reaction. Jason watched anxiously, biting his nails.
"Hera, Athena, Aphrodite—presenting conditions like that is unfit for one who seeks to be chosen as the fairest goddess."
"...Hm...!?"
Before even giving his answer, Iskios criticized the conditions they had laid out. Upon hearing his words, the three goddesses plunged into confusion at an answer they had never expected. But Iskios continued.
"—And besides, it is not my role to hand the golden apple to the beautiful goddess."
"What...?!"
"There is someone more fitting than I to carry out this task here..."
Everyone failed to understand those words of Iskios, but when they saw who he walked toward, Athena belatedly realized what he had in mind.
"—It is you, Peleus."
"Whaaaaaat?! Me, me-me-me-me?! Me?!"
The one chosen by Iskios to receive and hand over the golden apple was none other than the groom himself, Peleus.
At the sight of Peleus holding the golden apple, Jason seemed to lose his sanity for a moment. But then he saw the situation that would quell that chaos.
whisper whisper
"...!"
Peleus himself, holding the golden apple, looked bewildered and flustered, but Iskios quietly approached him from the side and murmured something under his breath. Then, having said all he needed, he stepped back from Peleus.
The other gods couldn't grasp what was said, but some noticed the confusion vanish from Peleus's face. Then Iskios gave a light wave and quietly withdrew, standing aside of Peleus and Thetis.
"—I present it... to the fairest goddess..."
"...What...!?"
Peleus knelt on one knee and offered the golden apple he had received from Iskios to his bride, Thetis, who stood beside him. At that sight, tears welled in Thetis's eyes, which had only moments before been filled with frustration.
Zeus, unprepared for such an answer, watched dumbfounded, half unable to comprehend the scene with his mouth agape. The other gods looked on at Peleus and Thetis in similar astonishment.
"...To give such an answer...!"
"Eh, wha-wha-what!? It wasn't me!?"
"...Truly, you are unlike the men you find everywhere else."
The golden apple handed from Iskios to Peleus was then offered by Peleus to Thetis as one would present an offering of love. Seeing that, the goddesses quelled their anger and excitement.
Athena now understood. This was a wedding, and the protagonists of a wedding are none other than the bride and groom. Besides, Thetis was a full-fledged goddess, so she fell within the criteria for receiving the golden apple.
Moreover, by having Peleus rather than Iskios present the golden apple, he cemented the two of them as the true protagonists of the ceremony. Seeing Iskios turn his back, slip out of the wedding, and hide in a tree, Athena applauded his choice.
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