SF Chapter 85: First Day
It was September, and Daniel was at his sister's house early in the morning.
"Uncle Dan?" Luke came up to his uncle as soon as he walked into the kitchen. "I need help. I was supposed to keep a journal all summer. It's due today."
Claire immediately gave her son a disapproving look. "Wow. First day of school, and you're already behind?"
"I'm dead," Luke sighed.
Daniel took a sip of coffee and asked, "All right, tell me what you wrote."
"Okay." Luke nodded. "June 21st: found a stick. Mm..." He paused. "June 22nd... That's it."
Before Daniel could even say anything, Claire exclaimed in disbelief, "That's it?!"
"It was a really cool stick, Mom."
Phil, who was having breakfast beside them, nodded in agreement. "He's right. It looked like a snake."
Then Alex walked in carrying a massive case on her back, plus her backpack and a couple of bags.
"Honey, you moving out?" Phil commented when he saw her.
Alex let out a tired breath. "Five more years."
"Or three, if you run away like me," Daniel said with a smirk, immediately earning a glare from Claire.
"No one is running anywhere," Claire scoffed. "And Dani didn't run away. He just moved out..." Then she muttered under her breath, "...before his mother could kill him."
"A little help here?" Alex asked, trying to balance everything she was carrying.
Claire pointed out, "This is why we suggested the violin." She didn't make a single move to help her daughter.
"The cello is more in demand in university orchestras," Alex argued. Though, truthfully, she had probably gotten inspired after seeing her cousin Leonard play the violin once.
"You know what's not in demand?" Haley was the last one to walk into the kitchen.
"Oh, what?" Alex shot back.
"Girls who play in university orchestras."
"Ha-ha," Alex responded with a sarcastic laugh at Haley's jab.
"Hey, Mom?" Haley asked as soon as she sat down beside her uncle. "Can I have forty dollars for lunch?"
"Forty dollars?" Claire gave her daughter a suspicious look.
"I also need a book for school."
"What book?"
"I want a dress," Haley admitted, finally revealing what she actually wanted.
Her mother scoffed. "Do you have any idea what a bad liar you are?"
"I'd be more worried that she couldn't come up with a single book title," Alex fired back, getting her jab for earlier.
"I know Percy Jackson and Wimpy Kid," Haley retorted, though it really wasn't much of a good defense.
Then she turned toward Daniel and asked coyly, "Dani, can I have forty dollars?"
He raised an eyebrow, pulled out his wallet, and remarked, "I don't have forty dollars. Here, take a hundred."
He handed her one of the hundred-dollar bills from his wallet. For efficiency purposes, he had stopped carrying smaller bills.
But before Haley could get excited, Claire snatched the bill out of Daniel's hand before her daughter could grab it.
"Uncle Dan," Luke called again after everyone had apparently forgotten about him.
"Oh, right," Daniel turned back to his nephew. "Let's go." Then he started dictating to help the kid out. "August 19th: I went into my sisters' room, grabbed my older sister Haley's diet list, and changed a few things."
"Mostly, I swapped some of the seasonings for chili pepper and added some extra bitter vegetables."
Haley gasped loudly in offense beside him. "So spicy food doesn't burn calories?"
Alex was smirking at her sister, but she quickly lost her composure after hearing what came next.
"August 22nd: I went into my sisters' room again. I grabbed the book my other sister, Alex, had just started reading and swapped it with an alternate version."
He went on, "It was a version with a few inaccuracies in the names, like someone had deliberately tampered with it."
Alex groaned. "I KNEW IT. I knew there was something wrong with One Hundred Years of Solitude."
But Daniel wasn't done yet. "I even recorded my sister muttering angrily: 'This doesn't make any sense. I read that the names were supposed to be confusing, but this is ridiculous.'"
And he finished, "August 23rd: I bought flowers for my mother as a symbol of my ultimate filial love - my awesome Uncle Dan gave me the money for it. As he say, you can't start wars on every front."
"Mom!" Haley and Alex complained at the same time.
Claire let out a loud sigh. She grabbed the bill - and Daniel's wallet - pulled out another hundred-dollar bill, and handed both of them to Haley.
"Daniel, go help Alex with all that stuff," she said, pointing at her middle daughter.
He nodded.
Seeing that things had finally settled down, Claire went back to tidying up the kitchen.
Daniel leaned closer and whispered to his niece, "See, Hay-Hay? Now you can buy that Guess dress you wanted. Even better than what you could've bought with forty dollars. All according to my plan."
Haley narrowed her eyes, but still kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Dani." Then she ran off toward her room before her mother could change her mind.
Alex set her things down against the wall and walked over to him, arms crossed and still wearing an annoyed expression.
"Margaret Atwood is going to be at Book Soup today. I even managed to get some private time with her so we could talk a little," Daniel commented casually, as if it were nothing.
Alex's lips twitched. She tried to keep up the act, but eventually gave up. "Fine! I forgive you. But I also want to ask her a few questions."
[Claire commentary]
The matriarch of the family was sitting on the living room couch.
"My little brother is like that, a menace. He has this rare 'gift' for knowing exactly how to annoy people," Claire scoffed.
"But at the same time, he also knows how to smooth things over. He was already like that when he was little. He's the type of person it's hard to stay mad at for very long."
[Commentary ends]
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