Ruichi looked at the pretty face right in front of him. A warm, fragrant breath brushed across his face, making his nose itch.
How am I supposed to explain this? Say that I can absorb Natural Energy just by lying flat, and that I can calm your rampaging Cursed Seal just by petting you like a cat? If I say that, I'll probably be dragged off to Root and dissected for research in the next second.
"I didn't do anything," Ruichi said quickly. "I didn't even know what was going on with you back then, Anko-sensei. I just saw that you were in a lot of pain and wanted to carry you to the hospital."
"Is that so?" Anko narrowed her eyes and leaned in even closer, their noses almost touching. "Then why do you look so nervous?"
Ruichi felt like a frog being stared down by a snake. Gritting his teeth, he decided to gamble and just let it all out.
He turned his head away, his voice dropping awkwardly.
"If I really have to say… it's just that I think you have a great figure, Anko-sensei. And you're very beautiful."
Anko froze.
She'd expected him to brush her off with some lame excuse—but not something this blunt.
Only then did she realize how close they were. A blush spread across her fair cheeks.
"Ahem!" She coughed lightly, straightened up, and raised her hand to flick Ruichi on the forehead.
"You little brat—where did you learn to sweet-talk like that?"
Despite her words, the suspicion in her eyes quietly faded.
She knew he wasn't telling the truth—but she didn't feel like digging any deeper.
The Cursed Seal wasn't something Ruichi should've been able to touch at all. What happened back then was probably an accident, and he might not even have realized what he'd done.
Everyone had secrets. As long as they didn't harm Konoha, that was fine.
Anko curled her lips into a mischievous smile, leaned close to his ear, and whispered so softly that only the two of them could hear.
"Then next time, I'll have to trouble you to 'take me to the hospital' again, okay? Ruchi~ little~ bro"
Shiver—!
A damp sensation brushed his ear, and goosebumps instantly erupted all over Ruichi's body.
This enchantress is messing with my mental state!
"A-Anko-sensei?!" Ruichi put on a panicked expression. Since he'd already committed to this persona, he had to act it through.
Seeing his reaction, Anko burst out laughing, clearly delighted.
…
Deep in the forest, chaotic noises rang out one after another.
"Damn cat! If you've got the guts, stop running and fight me!"
Angry shouts mixed with sharp meow cries.
Ichi had clearly chosen the "reckless pursuit" strategy, only to end up sprinting around the forest chasing the cat's tail.
The terrain was complicated, and before long, he lost track of it completely.
Makire wasn't doing any better.
Though he had plenty of theory, his practical ability was lacking. The traps he'd carefully set up looked utterly clumsy against the cat's sharp instincts and agile movements.
The net was dodged with ease. The box coated in catnip was slapped over with a single paw. At one point, he was even chased two kilometers by a wild boar that happened to pass by.
A whole day passed in chaos and farce.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, dyeing half the sky red, Ichi and Makire staggered back to the meeting point, filthy and exhausted.
"This is all your fault, Makire!" Ichi gasped angrily. "Your stupid traps were useless! And they wasted my time!"
"Bullshit!" Makire shot back. "If you hadn't charged in like an idiot and scared the cat away, my plan might've worked!"
Anko looked at the two of them, bickering like fighting roosters, and the corner of her mouth twitched. She turned her gaze toward the tree beside them.
Ruichi was still leaning against the trunk, eyes half-closed, looking utterly comfortable.
No—more accurately, it was as if he hadn't participated in the mission at all. Like he'd just taken an afternoon nap here.
Veins popped out on Anko's forehead.
These two brats had worked themselves to exhaustion, while the guy who should have contributed the most was slacking off without a care in the world.
"Ruichi!" There was danger in Anko's voice now.
"Yes!" Ruichi jumped upright in shock.
"Do you have nothing to say for yourself?" Anko crossed her arms and looked down at him.
Under the scrutiny of three pairs of eyes, Ruichi spoke with a grave expression.
"Regarding this mission, I believe the core issue lies in the team encountering a methodological divergence during the early stages, which prevented the formation of an effective operational loop. The root cause is our failure to deeply explore the core requirements, resulting in the lack of a multi-dimensional, refined, and executable framework—"
A stream of incomprehensible buzzwords spilled out.
Ichi and Makire were stunned into silence.
"Speak human language!" Anko snapped, the more she listened, the worse it sounded. She reached out and grabbed Ruichi by the ear.
"Go catch that cat! If you don't, you're sleeping out here tonight and feeding the mosquitoes!"
Ruichi sucked in a sharp breath.
Sleeping outdoors? On hard ground? Getting bitten all night?
Looks like he couldn't slack off anymore.
Rubbing his burning ear, Ruichi sighed helplessly.
"Honestly… you really have to force me. I just wanted to be a quiet salted fish."
He closed his eyes and formed a hand seal.
Wind Release: Breeze Detection Technique.
Chakra mixed into the airflow and spread outward in all directions.
This technique was inspired by the Rain Tiger at Will—something he'd adapted long ago as a "life hack" for finding schools of fish.
Mix chakra into flowing water to sense the surroundings like radar. This time, he'd done the same with wind.
"Found it."
Ruichi opened his eyes and dashed off.
First time using this combination… I'll just call it Detection Wind.
The other three exchanged looks and hurried after him, half-believing, half-doubting.
Moments later, they saw it.
Ah Hu—the troublesome cat that had humiliated them all day—was crouched beneath a tree.
"There it is!" Ichi shouted, about to rush forward.
"Don't move." Ruichi grabbed him by the collar and yanked him back.
Earth Release: Earth Shelter.
Placing one hand on the ground, Ruichi caused the earth on the far side of Ah Hu to sink soundlessly, forming a shallow, half-meter-wide pit. Not a single speck of dust rose.
"What's the point of such a small pit?" Makire frowned. "That cat can jump over it easily."
"Maybe." Ruichi didn't bother explaining.
He picked up a stone and tossed it at Ah Hu.
Startled, the cat bolted—and Ruichi was already moving.
In a blink, they reached the pit.
Ah Hu leapt—
With rapid hand seals, an earthen lid rose up from the opposite side, slamming shut in its path.
The cat reacted instantly, claws latching onto the lid, about to spring free—
Wind Release: Fly Swatter.
A prepared, invisible gust slapped Ah Hu straight into the pit.
The lid closed.
The cat was trapped.
As Ruichi calmly grabbed Ah Hu by the scruff and lifted it out, Ichi and Makire stood frozen, completely dumbfounded.
The two so-called "elites" had run themselves ragged all day.
And the slacker they'd looked down on finished it in five minutes.
Ah Hu seemed to like Ruichi quite a bit, behaving docilely in his hands and even trying to burrow into his arms.
"Hey, hey—don't rub dirt all over me!" Ruichi grimaced, forming an earthen cage and stuffing the cat inside.
"Anko-sensei, can we call it a day now?"
Anko stared at the pit, deep in thought.
In terms of scale, both the Earth Release and Wind Release were pitifully small.
But that level of precision was something even many Jonin couldn't manage.
And she strongly suspected that Ruichi wasn't incapable of large-scale jutsu—he was just too lazy to use them.
She'd found a real treasure.
Anko looked at Ruichi with blazing eyes and a sly smile.
Ruichi shuddered.
…I showed off too much today.