"Almost… steamed to death?"
Yan Sheng strode up to Ruichi and looked him over from head to toe. Seeing that, aside from torn clothing and some red burn marks, the boy was still intact with all his limbs present, he finally let out a breath of relief.
"You're damn tough."
Yan Sheng slapped Ruichi on the shoulder—nearly knocking loose the bone that had just been set.
"Your opponent was Mei Terumi, the famous dual–kekkei genkai user from Kirigakure. Even I'd have to be cautious against her. How did you manage to stay alive until we arrived?"
"Don't even get me started," Ruichi waved lazily.
"That woman probably thought I was handsome and didn't go all out at first. Besides, I'm useless at most things, but I'm really good at digging holes. I burrowed underground, played whack-a-mole with her, popped out to throw some tricks, then hid again to wear her down."
He pointed at the pile of ruined clothes nearby.
"But she was completely uncivilized—dumped hot acidic mist straight into the tunnel. Burned my clothes and nearly cooked me alive. In the end, I just played dead underground and barely escaped."
"Hmph. Just showing off."
A cold snort cut in at the wrong moment.
Shigaraki Tanuki walked over with a dark expression, looking rather disheveled himself.
He shot Ruichi a glance, then turned to Yan Sheng.
"Commander, although Ruichi survived this time, he abandoned the squad without permission and caused the reconnaissance unit to break formation. That's a serious violation of discipline. If he hadn't wandered off, another comrade might not have—"
Ruichi glanced around and noticed someone missing.
One of the genin… was gone.
So they're already trying to pin the blame on me?
"Captain," Ruichi said flatly, the playful grin gone,
"you're free to eat whatever you like—but you don't get to say whatever nonsense you want."
"When we were attacked, it was clearly an annihilation attempt. If I hadn't drawn that woman away, do you really think you'd have made it back?"
"Y-you—" Shigaraki's face stiffened.
"And another thing," Ruichi continued, not giving him a chance to interrupt.
"I held back their strongest jōnin until reinforcements arrived. As the squad captain, besides running away, did you even fire off a single jutsu to help? Or did you bring back any usable intelligence?"
Shigaraki Tanuki opened his mouth. His face turned a deep purplish red—but no words came out.
Intelligence?
He'd been too busy fleeing for his life to even get a clear look at the enemy.
"Enough."
With a sharp wave of his hand, Yan Sheng cut the argument short.
He might be hot-tempered, but he wasn't stupid. The acid-scarred ground and obvious battle traces told him everything he needed to know about who had fought and who hadn't.
He shot Shigaraki a cold glance.
"Bringing back intelligence is the top priority. Ruichi did an excellent job acting as bait."
"As for you—go back and write a self-criticism. Reflect on why you lack even the sense of responsibility expected of a genin."
Shigaraki Tanuki slunk away, glaring at Ruichi with resentment before turning and leaving.
Ruichi shrugged, completely unfazed.
Someone like that wasn't even worth getting angry over.
---
With this clash over, Kirigakure's probing activity along the border noticeably decreased.
The suffocating pressure of an approaching storm faded, and the outpost gradually returned to calm.
Ruichi didn't waste the opportunity.
Using this incident as an excuse, he applied for a transfer, claiming he "needed time to digest the gains from a life-and-death battle." In reality, he slipped back into logistics, occasionally heading out just to slack off.
Not long after, the rotation order finally came through, and Ruichi was allowed to return to Konoha.
The group traveling with him was the same as before—except one person was missing, a name Ruichi couldn't even remember.
The moment he stepped back into Konoha and saw the small shop with the red lantern marked Ramen, his heart—tightened by killing and scheming—finally softened.
"I'm back—"
Lifting the curtain, the familiar aroma of pork bone broth rushed out, more soothing than any therapy.
"Brother Ruichi!"
Qin, who had been wiping tables, lit up instantly. She tossed aside the rag and charged like a little black cannonball.
"Whoa, easy there."
Ruichi laughed, gently pressing her head down.
"Did you put on weight in the month I was gone?"
"No way!" Qin puffed out her cheeks angrily.
Behind the counter, Teuchi was cooking noodles. Hearing the noise, he looked up, his familiar gentle smile instantly putting Ruichi at ease.
"Welcome back, Ruichi. You've been away quite a while this time. Are you alright?"
"Perfectly fine. Just craving this place."
Ruichi naturally walked behind the counter, pulled off that cursed Leaf Village headband, stuffed it into his pocket, and casually tied on a gray apron.
The ruthless shinobi was gone.
All that remained was a lazy ramen shop worker who wanted nothing more than to give up.
From the kitchen, Ayame peeked out, smiling warmly.
"Dad was just talking about you. He saved a big bone just for you—I'll heat it up."
Being remembered felt… really good.
Just as Ruichi was about to sink into a rocking chair and enjoy this hard-won peace, hurried footsteps shattered the tranquility.
The curtain flew up, and Anko Mitarashi burst in like a gust of wind.
"Kid! You're back?!"
Anko was still wearing her bold fishnet outfit, a khaki trench coat thrown over it, her impressive chest rising and falling with her breathing.
She strode straight up to Ruichi and slammed a crumpled sheet of paper onto the counter with a bang.
"Take a look! Surprised? Didn't see this coming, huh?"
Chūnin Selection Exams — Recommendation Form
"Oh. What a surprise."
Ruichi expressionlessly pushed the paper back.
"But I refuse."
"…Huh?!"
Anko stared at him as if he'd grown a second head.
"Are you out of your mind?! This was personally approved by Hiruzen Sarutobi! Because of your performance at the border, you're allowed to participate in the Chūnin Exams! If you pass, you'll be a chūnin!"
"And then what?" Ruichi yawned, reaching for a cup of tea.
"Double the mission difficulty. Double the mortality rate. Double the responsibility. And the pay only goes up a little."
"Terrible deal. Whoever wants it can have it."
Anko was so stunned she couldn't speak for a long while.
In a ninja world where everyone clawed their way upward for rank and prestige, this kid's mindset was pure disaster.
"But… but this is an honor!"
She tried again. "Once you're a chūnin, you won't have to do D-rank chores anymore! Your status goes up, and from then on—"
"Anko-sensei," Ruichi interrupted earnestly,
"do you know what my dream is?"
"Become Hokage?"
"No. It's lying flat and waiting to die."
He pointed outside.
"The world's huge, and I'm lazy. Instead of fighting like mad in an exam hall, I'd rather stay here and figure out how to make mung-bean soup taste better."
As he spoke, he scooped out a bowl of half-finished mung-bean paste from under the counter, added seasoning, stirred it with chakra for a bit, then pushed it toward Anko.
"The new 'blending technique' makes it smoother than before. Want to try?"
All the words Anko had prepared got swallowed right back.
Her throat bobbed. Her eyes instantly turned clear—and foolish.
"Tch… You gave this up yourself. Don't come crying later."
She picked up the bowl, her face blooming into a blissful, almost silly expression.
"Mmm! Not bad at all… Fine, I'll let you off this time. But add more sugar next time!"
"Of course it's good," Ruichi thought silently.
"This is mung-bean paste made with a Rasengan. The jutsu itself isn't hard—but controlling it to this low output is a real pain."
Still, he had to admit one thing.
Although Anko was loud and rough around the edges, she was incredibly easy to placate—as long as you catered to her tastes.