Jonathan's POV
"Doctor!" I said. "What's the matter? Why did she faint? She just got discharged today."
"Mr Rollings," the doctor said. "The assault has left a traumatic effect on Miss Smith's mind. It will take her some time to relax. If only her husband—"
"What do you mean by that?" I said anxiously. "I am her husband."
"But Mr Rollings," the doctor said. "She's Miss—"
"She kept her father's name after marriage." I looked down. "We just haven't registered our wedding so—"
"Not registered?" the doctor said, shocked. "Then are you implying Janet is your daughter?"
Seeing me nod once, the doctor sighed.
"Well, then," he said hesitatingly. "I was going to say, 'if only her husband was here, as his touch is the only touch in which she'd feel safe. But if this is how she reacted to you, then I think it was more than just binding."
"Binding? What do you mean?" I asked anxiously.
"Miss Smith was first kidnapped." the doctor said. "We thought she was in a trauma cause of that. But now, can you tell me what happened?"
I talked about the casino.
"Just as I thought," The doctor said. "She's been assaulted."
The words echoed in my mind for a while as I could not settle in with them.
Assaulted.
She wasn't hurt. She wasn't injured.
She was assaulted.
My hands curled into dangerous fists, as anger rose within me.
For a brief moment all I could see was Sanders' face in front of me.
The way he was looking at her and the way he kept touching her.
The worst part–
I was there right in front of her.
Watching all of this.
Allowing him.
Even if I was not able to understand as I got drunk after one drink, that didn't change what I did.
I was there and failed to protect her.
"She was?" I said. "What?"
The doctor looked down before speaking.
"From the behavior that Miss Smith is showing," he said in a hesitating voice. "She's been assaulted."
"Damn!" I said banging on the wall with my fist.
"Miss Smith will wake up in a few minutes." the doctor said. "You can call me if she gets agitated again."
"Won't have to," I said, gesturing to him to leave.
I waited patiently for Veronica to come around.
"Where??" Veronica said in a drowsy voice.
"Nicky," I said as I held her hand.
"No!" she said frantically jolting her hand out of mine. "I'm a widow."
"Nicky!" I said holding her by her arms. "Look! It's me!"
"No," she said, trying to free herself from my grip. "Leave me! Let me go!"
"Veronica!" I said. "Snap out of it."
"Don't touch me!" she screamed as tears rolled down her cheek.
I pulled her in my embrace, and didn't let her go until she calmed down.
At first she kept on hitting me on my back, but slowly her hits slowed down and then she stopped and broke out crying.
"Why?" she said, sobbing. "Why? What did I do wrong to deserve that? All I—"
"Nicky," I said, holding her firmly in my embrace. "You did nothing wrong. If anyone is to be blamed, it's me. I failed to protect you. I didn't know she would make you—"
"Serve those scoundrels?" she said anger burning in her eyes. "Jonathan, do you really want me to believe that?"
"Nicky?" I was shocked. "I know I don't allow you to acknowledge me in public. I know I say, "Imelda is my fiance in public, but I swear I had nothing to do in this."
She scoffed and turned her face the other way around.
That single reaction hurt more than the words she spoke. Nicky never turned away from me no matter what I did.
No matter how angry she was, she would fight back, she would fight back.
But this time–
Her quiet withdrawal meant–
She lacked faith in me and that was scarier than anything for me.
Today for the first time in the past seven years I realized.
I didn't only lose her faith, I might even lose her.
"Nicky," I said, turning her face to look at me with my hand. "If only a heart could speak, it would tell you, my soul belongs to you. Nicky, Imelda said you would be a server, but only stand in the corner. Do you think I would allow you to wear such a dress and walk in front of men? You know I got drunk, that also I can't understand."
"Jonathan," she said. "Honestly, I don't know what to think anymore, especially when it concerns you."
"I know," I said. "After all, my doings don't actually stand true to my heart, but Nicky, I swear, I could never harm you, and to actually allow a man to touch you in any way, I would prefer dying before I give consent to."
By the time I was speaking, I had loosened my grip and Veronica managed to get away from me.
"Nicky," I said as I placed my hand on her hand, but she jolted again.
"NO!" she said, screaming.
"Nicky!" I held onto her hand. "Stop, feel my touch. Remember me, please for god's sake remember me."
Veronica was trembling as she touched my hand with shaking fingers.
Then I slowly held onto her hand.
This time she didn't scream.
"Nicky," I said in a soft voice. "I'm really sorry. I swear, I'll deal with that Sanders—"
"You already did," she said looking at the partially healed knuckles, caressing the healing bruises.
"I only gave a few punches," I said. "But, he'll still get what he deserves."
"What do you mean by that?" Veronica asked me with confused eyes.
"He'll be staying in jail for five years." I said as I was still holding onto her hand.
"Jail? Five years?" she said, confused.
"He assaulted you," I said. "my wife, and—"
"What about Imelda?" she said. "They are her—"
"I know," I said. "But no one gets away after harming you."
"And—"
"I know." I said cutting her words. "Me and Imelda."
She looked with wide open eyes.
"Nicky," I said in a soft voice. "I know I've hurt you as well, and Imelda too. Imelda, for now I can't say or do anything. Just let the Blue Heart project finish, I'll deal with her. As for me, tell me, how can I beg for your forgiveness?"
"Jonathan—"
"Still angry?" I said.
"Jona," she said as I smiled. I love it when she calls me that.
"Okay," she said, continuing. "I can forgive you, but you must give me the respect a wife should get. Your daughter has the love and respect she should get. And…"
Her voice faded.
"What's the matter?" I was concerned.
"You're alive," she said. "Yet, you make me say—"
"I won't," I said. "I swear from now on I won't say I'm dead. And I won't bring you to those parties."
Even as I said these promises to her, something inside me was tightening as I had made tons of promises and kept–none.
My promise to protect her, promise to stand beside her.
Yet, one by one, I broke all of them.
Even I was doubting myself if I'll be able to keep this promise.
Or would it become another lie to the woman I love more than my life.
I hugged her as I thought in my mind.
"Nicky, this time I won't let her or anyone harm you or Janet ever again."
The next morning Veronica was surprised to see me sleeping beside her.
"Jona?" she said in her soft voice. "You're still here?"
"Good morning." I said, and kissed her on the lips.
She also kissed back and said, "Good morning."
"Nicky," I said. "From today onwards we'll live a normal family life. I'll go to work from here, and come back here. And as for your job at Imelda's. Don't go today. Let me arrange another job for you."
She nodded and then after breakfast I left for work, hoping things would turn out for the better.
But reality doesn't always go as we plan it to.
That very evening, I got an invitation to a small party hosted by the Carter's. For the sake of the Blue Heart Project, I had to go.
As I entered the hall, my eyes instantly fell on one person.
Veronica was one of the servers– Imelda called her again using Janet as bait.
She was standing in the corner holding a tray and passing by guests picked a glass or kept an empty glass back.
My chest tightened.
"I told her I won't allow it," I said muttering. "This Imelda, she does everything on her own."
I was going to walk over to her, but a voice called me from behind.
"Mr. Rollings," one of the businessmen came over. "I heard your finance is here as well?"
Before I could speak, Imelda stepped from behind me gracefully and held onto my arm.
"Of course," she said smiling.
Then his gaze went over to Veronica as he recalled her from the party last time when I announced Janet's adoption.
As always Imelda spoke before I could.
"Her?" She said, "Just my staff member. Poor girl…she's so young yet, her husband passed away. The Carter's loved her serving so I got her work here."
My body went stiff, as I knew Veronica was waiting for me to speak up.
She stood there waiting, hoping, begging in silence for me to correct it. For me to say, "she's my wife.
But I couldn't muster the strength as the room was full of powerful businessmen.
The project.
The dealings.
Everything was at stake here. So–
I remained silent.
A few seconds later another businessman came over and smiled.
"Mr. Rollings," he said. "Adrian kind of doesn't resemble you."
I was a bit shocked, but before I could reply, Imelda replied.
"He takes on from my side of the family."
But for me, my world had stopped as this time when I looked towards Veronica, I couldn't see anything in her eyes.
No anger. No pain.
Just empty emotionless eyes.
Hope rose within me as I saw her lips move silently.
She said so softly that no one could hear her, but I did–
You lost.