We started walking, passing by flowers and bushes. The three of them followed at a proper distance. Aurelian and I chatted as the dim light from the lantern illuminated the pathways and the cold night air brushed against my neck.
I was feeling something shift inside me. Aurelian was walking at a faster pace than I was. It hadn't registered at first because we were deep in conversation and I had been naturally keeping up with him.
"I want to see that pond up close. Are you coming?"
Aurelian said casually, pointing toward the pond in the corner. I nodded with a soft "Sure."
We veered off the trail, moving through the night grass. We stopped at the pond, and the sight was soothing to the eyes. Moonlight reflected off the water's surface, lotus leaves drifting lazily with a single closed bud of a flower.
"It's beautiful," I said. Aurelian smiled. Our eyes drifted upward to the glowing moon. Authors always went above and beyond when describing the moon, and they should. Millions of stars surrounded it, yet the moon outshone them all. But clouds were approaching, ready to block the moonlight for a moment.
I was thinking exactly that when a strong wind blew through. The flame of the lantern extinguished—perhaps someone had decided to let the air in. In one smooth motion, Aurelian removed his coat and draped it over my shoulders. I blushed at the lingering warmth and the faint scent of him that clung to the fabric.
Before I could even think to thank him, Aurelian grabbed my shoulders and leaned in, an obvious smile playing on his face. He drew dangerously close to my lips—just inches away—and stopped.
My heart pounded hard. I was holding my breath. Aurelian had been planning this from the start: walking at a faster pace to create more distance from the others, luring me to the pond, waiting for the perfect moment when the lantern would go out and the moonlight would vanish. And now he stopped?
Was he waiting for me to do something? I stood frozen, trembling from the inside while a warm feeling crawled through my chest. His eyes were closed and he wasn't moving any further. Did I want him to kiss me? I mean, yes—
I closed my eyes and let it happen. Our lips met, both of us holding our breath. A shiver ran through me, my fingers twitching as his strong hands gripped my shoulders. It wasn't a full make-out—that was the best part—just his lips gently holding mine.
We pulled apart, awkward and blushing. I looked away, embarrassed, screaming inside that I had let him take my first kiss and had actually enjoyed it.
"Don't get mad at me, alright? I gave you a chance to pull back. But~"
Aurelian said, his voice teasing and flirty, as if it were somehow my fault. He had just moved in, I thought, and I started, "Well—"
"If you have the courage, then kiss me again."
I spoke with confidence, challenging him. Aurelian tilted his head and giggled. I didn't know what my intentions had been when I said that, but I hadn't expected him to actually smooch me again.
I'm not describing that part. We started a smooching competition—it was dumb as hell. Basically, he completely messed up my lipstick.
We stopped the moment we saw the three of them coming closer and quickly fixed ourselves. Cassia was holding the lantern and walking forward faster to check on me.
"Lucia! You alright?"
Cassia asked casually. That told me they hadn't seen us. Good. I hid my embarrassment from all the smooching.
"Yes, I'm alright... Just that the lantern went off. It's too windy."
Aurelian smiled, probably laughing inside at my lie. But it was his fault. I caught Cassia narrowing her eyes at him. Then she took his coat off my shoulders and handed it back to him.
"I was just being nice." Aurelian took the coat with a teasing smile. He didn't take her behavior as rude. Obviously, all the kissing and—
"Yeah, I got it."
Cassia grabbed my arm and pulled me along. The four of us left the area. I glanced back a few times; Aurelian simply stood there, smiling.
I had kissed a guy I had met only a few hours earlier. A strange, weird, calm, fresh, and exciting feeling bloomed in my chest. That was how my first kiss had gone and how our relationship had begun.
After the party, I stayed at the Viremont mansion for a few days. Cassia seemed fine when others were around, but when we were alone, she couldn't help sharing her fears and crying. She looked strong on the outside, but she was soft inside. I was happy to be there when she needed me the most. We complained bitterly and cursed those damn manipulative relatives together.
Time passed quickly. Three years had gone by since our first meeting, and we had continued our relationship in secret—quietly sending letters, meeting in the backyard whenever possible, and definitely smooching sometimes.
One time, caught in the moment, Aurelian had wanted to move further, and it wasn't as if I would have said yes, but then Morwenna interrupted us. She hadn't found anything, though—he was quick at hiding. I had missed my chance to tease him a bit. He came rarely, and we were never able to go on any actual dates. How frustrating that was.
Because our meetings happened so infrequently, my feelings for Aurelian remained unclear. I couldn't judge him based solely on letters. I wouldn't lie—I had felt special the night we met and whenever we were together—but it was complicated. I was scared of commitment. What if I fully involved myself and then he showed me sides he had never revealed before?
But it wasn't as if I had kept this from Aurelian. I had told him how my feelings rose and fell. He had been understanding enough to give me space. So it was confusing—seeing each other while in a relationship, yet feeling distant at the same time. Ahhhhhhh, fuck it. I would test him at the Royal Academy and figure things out.
Let me live for now.
Here I was—Lucia Thornvale, nineteen years old—overthinking the relationship I had with Aurelian while I bathed. I cleaned myself and relaxed in the hot tub.
Hot water caressed my body in the most comforting way. My wet hair had grown heavy. I was alone, surrounded only by the quiet echoes of water ripples. I looked down. My thighs had grown thick. Actually, I had grown quite a bit overall. I had once thought my breasts would never mature, but they were big now—very big.
Woo! I cupped my breasts. They were softer than anything I had ever touched. I was amazed by my own touch and blushed, wondering what it would feel like if a man touched them—aggressively, perhaps. My nipples tightened. I gasped. Something warm built up inside me and I stopped.
Wait, I was so dumb. I hadn't really tried masturbating as a girl yet; that was why it felt so strange. Nineteen years old—ahhhhh. It wasn't as if I hadn't tried. It wasn't my fault. Royals were always busy, constantly surrounded by people or servants. Even when alone in my room, it was difficult to do such things. First, it was harder to keep my moans quiet, especially in a mansion where every sound echoed. Second, masturbation was considered taboo in this society when it came to women. They would call you a lustful witch and then burn you alive.
Later the rules will change, but we were not in that era right now.
Should I try masturbating now? The rest of the family members and servants were busy, so~