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POV of Alexandra Feodorovna
1-june-1920
Life had been harsh with my family.
My dear son suffered from an illness so cruel that a simple blow could take his precious life from him. God had been merciful in allowing him to be born into our position, for without the care of skilled physicians and men capable of easing his suffering, Aleksei would probably have died while still very small.
Then came the fall of my husband.
The man who had ruled Russia by the grace of God was turned into a prisoner within the very country he was meant to govern. To those who had seized power, we were nothing more than an inconvenient problem, a burden no one knew how to dispose of.
For weeks and months, we remained confined within the palace, surrounded by guards who spoke openly of the atrocities they wished to commit against us. Some even discussed what would be the best way to kill us.
All those who had once protected us had been removed, imprisoned or murdered during that terrible revolution brought about by the war.
It had all begun with the death of the archduke of Austria-Hungary and with the response of the great powers to the threats against the Slavic peoples whom Russia had promised to defend. That had led to a war that consumed empires, families and millions of lives.
Our only protection was Kerensky's government, which was trying to secure asylum for us in some foreign country.
But every door closed.
George did not wish to receive us in the Isles, and Willy, though perhaps he might have been willing to help us, could not do so while the war continued.
Requests were also sent to other countries, but all of them rejected them for similar reasons. My husband's figure was too complicated, and no government wished to assume the political risk of protecting us.
As Kerensky lost control of the country through his inability to end the war, we began to understand that our death was only a matter of time.
At any moment, the crowd that blamed us for all its suffering could enter the palace and put an end to us.
I tried to remain calm for the sake of my daughters and my dear Aleksei, but it was terribly difficult when every day we heard more insults and threats.
Then, one night, we met the man whose reputation was that of a monster.
At that moment, we did not know who he was. We were only told that he had come to take us out of there.
Soon we understood what he was capable of.
Many of the guards who had kept us prisoner lay dead in the corridors of the palace. Yet, by some act of divine providence, that man managed to bring us out of our confinement.
The escape was terribly difficult.
Aleksei's illness prevented him from moving quickly. A fall, a blow or an insignificant wound could cause bleeding impossible to stop. Every step he took made my heart stand still.
The group of Germans seemed to come from another world, like those great warriors described in the stories of Antiquity. Besides being extraordinarily strong and sturdy men, they seemed never to tire.
They could spend long hours walking, watching and remaining alert. On several occasions, they slept barely a couple of hours and, even so, rose as if they had rested through the entire night.
Thanks to those men, we managed to reach the German border, although we certainly did not do so in a manner worthy of an imperial family.
After a long wait, we were able to behave as ourselves once more.
Yet fate had only changed our cage.
We had exchanged Russian guards for German soldiers. They treated us with greater courtesy and consideration, but we were still not free.
We could not leave the residence, we received scarcely any news from the outside, and everything that reached us was carefully selected.
That affected Nicky deeply.
He wished to return to Russia. He remained convinced that he could still repair the mistakes committed and restore order to a country which, in his opinion, still needed him.
But we remained confined in that palace.
At least the new guards did not threaten us or treat us with contempt. They were simply soldiers carrying out an order and receiving a wage for watching us.
Our only regular visitor was the very man to whom Willy had entrusted our temporary protection.
And that man knew, better than anyone, how to unsettle Nicky.
Karl was a person incapable of restraining his tongue. He said exactly what he thought and did not trouble himself to hide that he despised, almost entirely, the manner in which my husband had ruled as Tsar.
Even for a Junker, he lacked almost all aristocratic formality. He showed not the slightest concern for the refinements proper to his position, nor for the rules that governed conduct among people of our condition.
But that seemed to matter very little to him.
After all, he was our jailer.
Aleksei, however, had grown very fond of him. My daughters also felt great curiosity about his person. Karl was so different from the men among whom they had grown up that his presence was difficult to ignore.
Everything changed when Germany lost the war.
Willy no longer seemed to possess the capacity necessary to protect us, and we were left entirely under Karl's custody. Then began that war against the British, from which, by some form of divine intervention, he managed to emerge victorious.
Now we were wholly under his authority, with no one possessing enough influence to interfere in his decisions.
Although at times he bore the appearance of a kind man, each of his visits was strange and intimidating. It was never possible to know whether he came as our protector, our jailer or as the ruler who was deciding our future without consulting us.
The most recent problem was that he had decided the best way to defend his domains was to marry one of my daughters.
He intended to use us as a guarantee against Michael, Nicky's brother, who continued to recover Russia and who, sooner or later, would turn his attention toward those lands.
Karl believed that, by becoming the husband of a Romanov grand duchess, he could restrain the new Tsar or, at the very least, make any attack against his territories far more difficult to justify.
My daughters had been raised with the expectation of marrying kings, princes or great nobles from the most respectable houses of Europe.
Now one of them would have to join herself to a German warlord whose government still seemed extraordinarily unstable.
And, to make matters worse, that man had intended to celebrate the marriage without a proper ceremony.
His initial idea had been to marry in a small chapel, almost without guests or witnesses, because he considered a great celebration to be an unnecessary expense.
I was forced to raise my voice against him.
Fortunately, he seemed to reconsider once he understood that I would not allow such indignity.
It was the very least he could offer one of my daughters: that the day of her marriage be an event she could remember with joy and not a hurried ceremony, held in some forgotten chapel as if it were the wedding of two peasants.
But that brought us to the present situation.
''Then… What did my cousin decide?'' Nicholas asked in the presence of the Kaiser's son.
''The marriage must take place'' Prince Wilhelm replied.
I saw my husband clench his fists and close his eyes in fury.
''Karl has secured himself in the government of the Baltic. Only Russia could remove him from power, and it would not achieve it without causing a bloodbath. The British have turned his domains into a kind of Belgium, though far more armed and dangerous, intended to contain both Germany and Russia. Therefore, there is not much we can do''.
The prince paused briefly before continuing.
''Karl controls the Baltic, Ruthenia and Ukraine, even if his treaty with the British claims otherwise. It is in our interest for there to be peace in the region, and that peace depends, to a great extent, on this marriage. Now then… Who will be the chosen one?'' the German prince asked while looking at my daughters.
''That has not yet been decided, since he showed no particular interest in doing so himself'' I replied, noticing that my husband did not wish to answer.
''Then it must be resolved soon. The marriage has been set for after the harvest. However, I managed to negotiate something favorable for you. Once the union has been celebrated, Karl will allow you to move about with greater freedom. Naturally, you will continue to be accompanied by an escort, but there will no longer be any reason to keep you confined''.
The prince briefly looked toward my husband.
''The danger of certain Junkers trying to use you in some plot has disappeared. You will be able to travel to Germany or move through Karl's territories with relative freedom''.
''Come now, Willy must be able to do something. That man is a monster who enjoys killing. He cannot marry one of my daughters'' Nicholas protested before gesturing toward another room to continue the conversation in private.
''Karl is a good person, much better than the multitude of idiots among the Junkers who ended up ruining the war for us'' the prince replied with absolute seriousness while following my husband. ''All of that said about him is little more than a lie. Karl is not a monster. He served under my orders and I never observed such behavior. I saw only a man concerned for the lives of others and for those of his soldiers, with the misfortune of being extraordinarily good at killing''.
As soon as both of them left the room, Olga was the first to speak.
''Is there any chance father can prevent the marriage from taking place?'' she asked with a serious expression.
''Yes… Is there anything he can do to stop it?'' Anastasia added, looking worried.
''I fear not. The only person who could prevent it was your father's cousin, but he has given his blessing. Therefore, there is no longer any true obstacle. I very much doubt your father's protests will be enough to stop the marriage'' I replied, lowering my head slightly.
''Oh… What a true pity'' Olga murmured, although she seemed far calmer than her words suggested.
I observed her for a few moments, but before I could say anything, Anastasia spoke again.
''Then we shall have to get used to him also pampering… young Aleksei'' she said, trying to imitate the way Karl spoke to her brother.
''Well, at least he is handsome and strong. Once he lifted me with one arm and kept walking as if I weighed nothing'' Maria commented while playing with a lock of hair.
''Imagine having to lift a cow with one arm'' Anastasia replied between laughs.
Maria took a cushion and threw it at her, while Anastasia dodged it by leaning to one side.
''Another one of your passing infatuations, Maria?'' Tatiana asked, turning her head slightly to observe her. ''I remind you that we are speaking of a man who appears to be very different from what people say about him and who might turn out to be quite unlike the gentleman you imagine''.
Maria blushed a little and looked away, trying to pretend the comment had not affected her.
''This is serious. That man could be the monster so many claim he is, or he could be the person he appears to be during his visits. And I do not want… I truly do not want any of you to have to suffer so that we may recover our freedom'' I said, feeling tears begin to gather in my eyes.
''Do not worry, mother. I will fulfill my duty as I was taught. I will marry him'' Olga declared, straightening herself with dignity.
''There is no need for you to sacrifice yourself, sister. There is still the possibility that you may marry Carol of Romania. You could have a proper marriage within royalty. I will take the risk with that rogue Herzog. Is that not so, mother?'' Tatiana intervened with confidence.
''Yes. It would be preferable to try to secure suitable marriages for you…'' I replied while looking at Olga.
''You see, sister? Your name is already known at the court of Romania. Some possibility may also arise with one of our cousins once everything in Russia is over. I have no objection to marrying that mad German'' Tatiana said, turning toward Olga.
''You could also be the one to have such a marriage. I would have no problem stepping aside to allow my sister to shine'' Olga replied with a serene smile.
''Ah, they have started again'' Anastasia murmured, shaking her head.
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If there are spelling mistakes, please let me know.
Leave a comment; support is always appreciated.
I remind you to leave your ideas or what you would like to see.
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