"The second testing site was called the 'Trap Test,' wasn't it..."
"Ugh! Ugh!"
"Oh, it's okay to talk, Excel. They said there are no proctors here."
"Phew! I thought I was going to die from the frustration!"
From Excel's perspective, it was utterly absurd.
"Hey, but in a place that's so flashy and beautiful, you're supposed to keep your mouth shut. But now, in a place this awful, we're allowed to talk? Does that even make sense?"
"What's the point of telling me that?"
I was relieved when they said there were no examiners here.
It turned out it would've been better to spend the night debating with an NPC examiner.
The two of them calmly analyzed the path through this insane trap.
"A giant chainsaw... a hammer... electricity... and they said the spikes wouldn't come out..."
It was literally a trap combo pack.
The bigger problem was that the path was straight.
One door, one connecting passage.
In short, they had to break through while experiencing every single trap.
"Aaaaaaah!"
Just then, a challenger coming from a door far off was struck by a pendulum and fell sideways.
His screams echoed all the way down from below...
Splatter!
With the sound of something piercing flesh en masse, the screams ceased.
"This is truly a merciless test."
"I guess there's no such thing as 'good' in a world where you just come back to life anyway."
Excel replied, sounding utterly disgusted.
The fact that this was a virtual game world was definitely what made it so endlessly cruel.
Because of that, it was common to go without sleep or food, and if a fight started going badly, suicide was sometimes the only option.
I wonder if this is really a human life at all.
"Why do you look so down! There's something you have that the guy who fell doesn't!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Me, of course!"
Excel pointed at himself with his thumb.
"I'll just go and destroy those damn traps, and that'll be that! Alright, charge!"
"Hey, wait a second!"
Before the newbie could say a word, Excel charged toward the trap.
He launched a body slam at the trap's frame or moving parts.
He figured that since it was a mechanical device, even if it was a trap, destroying it would do the trick.
Bang! Crackle!
"Kuuuuuuuuuuh! i-ri
As expected, the world isn't easy!
An electric spell flew in from somewhere and zapped Excel.
Of course, it's true that Excel has an indestructible, invincible body.
But that certainly didn't mean he was immune to everything.
After all, since he's treated as a living being, getting hit by electricity causes paralysis, and getting hit by wind sends him flying.
Whoooosh!
"Ugh, aaaargh!"
Just as he said it, since electricity didn't work, a storm spell simply blew Excel right away.
Newbie barely caught Excel, like he was playing catch.
"Ugh... You think I'm going to give up like this? Here I go again!"
"Stop it, you idiot!"
"So what! I'm not getting hurt anyway!"
At those words, the newbie gripped Axel tightly.
"I know it hurts! You must've been in agony when you got zapped earlier!"
"W-well, that's nothing for a great guide like me...!"
"Don't do it... Seriously, I'm telling you not to."
The newbie pleaded with a serious expression.
"Don't do it."
"Uh, well... Yeah..."
"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help..."
"I know. But don't do that. It hurts. Pain isn't something you should just accept."
"Yeah. I get it."
Patting Excel's shoulders as he hunched over, Newbie fell deep in thought.
Even amidst this, the mechanical traps moved repeatedly, making spine-chilling noises.
Repeatedly.
Far too repeatedly.
"In short, I guess I'm supposed to break through those repetitive intervals."
Come to think of it, all these traps had one thing in common.
It was essentially a reflex test.
Newbie knew it all too well.
He was hopeless at navigating traps like these.
"I really hated those platformer-style games."
"What are those?"
"You know, the ones where you spend hours just dodging traps."
"Those are crap games!"
"Exactly. I don't get why anyone plays them."
"But is there any way to slow down or stop those traps?"
"Is that even... possible?"
Something flashed through the newbie's mind.
He checked his inventory window.
Scratch, scratch...
"Ugh! Nothing but useless junk! Skip all unusable items!"
With a single click, thousands of items vanished in an instant.
All that remained was a pitifully sparse inventory.
"As expected... I can only use the items I already have. Among these... Oh, right, this one!"
The newbie reached into the golden portal connected to his inventory and pulled something out.
What he held in his hand was a round, pale green droplet.
Every time Excel touched it with his tiny finger, it wobbled like pudding.
"What is this? It feels weird."
"This slime adhesive."
"You mean that slime from back then—the one that kid was using?"
An item left behind by that One-Punch Man-style one-hit slime from before.
It was still taking up a spot in his inventory.
"But what are you supposed to do with that? I heard it's just some sticky stuff used as adhesive material at best?"
"I guess I'll have to find out."
"Huh?"
The first trap was a giant chainsaw.
The chainsaw moved up and down.
Its speed was slower than other traps, but since you had to duck to avoid it, it was a pretty tricky trap for a first-timer.
'Throwing it at the saw is pointless anyway. Where is the core of every machine?'
From factory robotic arms to giant robots in cartoons, the core of every machine wasn't the engine or the weapons.
The true core was the 'joint'!
That chainsaw trap was no different.
The newbie threw the adhesive at the chainsaw's joint with all his might.
Immediately, the movement of the green-tinged joint began to slow down, then stopped completely.
The chainsaw still made a terrifying noise, but it didn't budge an inch.
Wiiiiiiiiiiing!
"This should be okay, right? Ugh, that's seriously creepy."
Fortunately, there were no horrific incidents like the chainsaw suddenly coming down.
After that, the glue continued to destroy the joints of the traps.
Thud!
Thud! Thud! Thudddddd...
The hammer, which had seemed poised to turn a person into pork cutlet, had slowed down to the point where it looked like it was in slow motion.
The pendulum trap had stopped on the right and showed no signs of coming down.
The traps were being cleared with almost anticlimactic ease.
"I see a door over there?"
"Is this the end?"
They had definitely cleared more than ten traps, so it was about time to wrap things up.
Even so, the newbie felt uneasy.
Just in case, he walked forward cautiously, holding slime glue in both hands.
"Ah, stop freaking out! It's just a test—they wouldn't do anything that ridiculous!"
"Still, something feels off."
"Ugh, I'm going ahead to check it out!"
And with that, Excel flew ahead to the door.
Huh, is it really okay?
Just as he was thinking that.
Thud!
"...?"
Gugugugugu! Boom!!!
The entire ground Newbie was walking on collapsed.
"Whoa, whoa! Hey, are you okay?!"
Excel had flown over, but Newbie was already falling far below.
If it were an ordinary person, they wouldn't have a second thought—they'd just assume they were screwed.
"Ugh, Ugh-aaah!!!"
Newbie began running through the air, using all his strength to step on the falling debris.
As soon as he reached the wall, he slammed his fist into it with all his might.
Boom!
"Hey... hey! Are you okay? Hey!"
Excel went down, but there was no sign of Newbie.
"Hiiing, huuuu..."
Just as Excel was about to start crying.
"Don't cry! Stop it!"
"Huh, huh?"
As Axel neared the floor covered in thorn traps, he saw Newbie clinging to the wall.
Sweat trickled down his face, then dripped onto the thorns below.
"That was a close call. I almost got screwed."
The slime adhesive that had burst between the wall and his hand was now covering the newbie's hand.
"B-but how do we get out?"
"We'll just have to climb."
True to his word, he scrambled up the 50-meter-high wall using only his two hands, coated in slime adhesive.
At first, I wondered if this would really work, but human determination is stronger than you'd think.
Fortunately, he managed to make it all the way to the top by using up every last bit of the remaining slime adhesive.
As soon as he reached the top, the newbie collapsed flat on his back.
"Whew... Phew... That was exhausting. I almost died."
"We're alive, so I guess that's okay."
It's a good thing this is a game; if it were real life, he would have died from exhaustion.
"Let's hang in there. This is the last one. What was the final test again?"
"Something about a test of courage?"
"Courage? That's completely different from the other two."
The previous two tests were survival tests where we had to make it out of dangerous places.
But out of nowhere, the final test is about courage?
"Don't people usually view courage as something that's good, yet also bad? "
"You think so?"
Usually, the idea of viewing courage positively only comes up in passionate manga.
In a world like this, courage is mostly seen as recklessness.
"I just can't wrap my head around it."
With that question in mind, Newbie and Excel opened the door and stepped inside.
It wasn't until much later that they understood the meaning of the third test.
*
"There's nothing here?"
It wasn't just empty—it was a room where there was literally nothing at all.
But that didn't mean this was an ordinary place.
"The surroundings… it really feels like a game."
"Yeah."
It's a bit strange to call the world inside a game 'game-like,' but
seeing characters that looked like they belonged in code embroidering the sky, anyone would say the same.
Beneath them lay only a hard earthen floor.
However, behind the massive triangular mound of earth lay a gigantic cliff structure with no bottom in sight.
At its end was a door.
"But there are people here who arrived before us..."
Before the two could even begin to grasp what kind of test this was, the situation kindly revealed everything to them.
Something massive flew between them.
Thud!
The player, whose body had been torn to pieces, was flung behind the two and rolled across the ground.
To be precise, only his upper body remained...
A stream of light dust was flowing out from beneath his severed torso.
"...What kind of... test is this... This is... a massacre..."
With those words, he turned into a shower of light and vanished.
When the two looked ahead, everything became crystal clear.
A Black Knight clad in armor covered in sharp spikes, slicing through opponents with a circular shield-shaped chainsaw.
Having just sliced the player in two, the crimson glow from her helmet's visor overwhelmed the crowd.
Faced with that intimidating sight, the other players froze in place.
Then, her wrist moved, and the chains rattled.
"E-everyone! Run away!"
The newbie shouted with all her might.
"Huh? Huh?"
"Ugh, AAAAAHHH!!!"
Except for those who stood there dumbfounded, a few players threw themselves backward with all their might.
Wheeeeeeeee!
The chain attached to her shield moved.
The chain coiled around them like a snake, sweeping through the area where the players had been standing.
At the same moment, those who had been standing frozen in place were instantly torn apart.
Only those who had heard Newbie's warning and stepped back survived.
The red eyes within the pitch-black helmet turned toward Newbie.
She said nothing.
Or rather, she spoke in a different way.
[Your friend 'Arien' has sent you a message.]
[Arien: Your senses have improved quite a bit, haven't they? But that alone won't be enough to pass the final test.]
Newbie hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should reply.
"Hey! What are you doing!"
At that very moment, a shield flew toward him!
Wheeeeeee! Chakakakakaka!
"Ugh!"
The chainsaw shield that flew right up to Newbie's face was blocked by Axel, who had stepped in between them.
Axel formed an X with his arms to block the chainsaw.
"Tch-!"
With a discontented voice, Arien's black iron boots began to move.
But Newbie wasn't alone.
Whoosh!
To be precise, Excel wasn't the only ally.
An arrow embedded itself in front of her black iron boots.
It was one of the players who had narrowly escaped death thanks to Newbie's warning earlier.
"Everyone! It's not over yet! Don't panic! Just think of this as a boss raid!"
Still, thanks to the encouragement from that seasoned player, everyone regained their composure.
At the same time, he shouted.
"Come on! Everyone! Newbie is here! It's practically a win for us now!"
"Huh...?"
Huh? Me? Why?