Chapter 67: Adding Eriri, and the Poison-Tongued "Fatty-Kasumi"!
...
Of course, "strengthening bonds" was a top priority!
In Seito's dictionary:
Strengthening Bonds = Kidnapping.
Friendship = Robbery.
If he didn't rob them at least once, how would they ever know how deep his affection for them truly was?
"Alright, let's head out for now," Sora interjected, gesturing toward the Elf Queen.
Seito blinked, realizing he had drifted off into his own schemes. He turned back to the Queen. "My apologies. I got a bit carried away in thought."
"It is no trouble," the Elf Queen replied with a gentle shake of her head. "Feel free to visit often. I've grown quite fond of Maple."
"Count on it!"
With their goodbyes said, the group followed the guards down the massive branches of the Tree of Life back to the forest floor.
Scanning the busy crowd of players below, Ako spoke up. "Boss, are we going to scout the guild base locations now?"
"Yes," Seito nodded. Then, remembering something, he added, "You guys go on ahead. I have something I need to get crafted first."
"What is it?" Sora asked curiously.
"A few coats," Seito said with a mysterious smile.
Now that they were establishing a permanent base, how could they not have the iconic, intimidating white coats of the Fatui Harbingers? He needed to find a professional to help him design the prototypes.
"We'll take our leave then."
"Go ahead," Seito waved them off.
Maple and the others left as a group, leaving only Sally behind.
"I'm heading back to the 11th Floor to track down Kaguya's base," Sally reported. Seito gave her a thumbs-up, and she vanished in a flash of teleportation light.
Once alone, Seito tried to visualize the design of the Fatui Executive coats. There was a problem: he wasn't exactly a master artist. He could describe them, but he couldn't draw a blueprint. He needed a sketch artist.
Opening his friend list, he saw that the Yukinoshita sisters were online. He sent a message to "Flatty"—no, Yukino.
[Seito: Flatty, what's Eriri's in-game ID?]
[SnowCat: My name is YUKINO!]
[Seito: Fine, fine. Stop being sensitive. Give me Eriri's ID, I have business with her.]
[SnowCat: It's 'Eriri~ri'.]
Seito's lip twitched. What was she thinking?
Using her real name as her handle? Is she sharing a brain cell with Ako?
He searched the name and sent a request.
[System: You and player 'Eriri~ri' are now friends.]
[Eriri: What do you want, you pervert?]
[Sei: I want to grab those twin-tails and learn how to drift!]
[Eriri: ...]
The Golden Pair.
On the other side of the safety zone, Eriri Spencer Sawamura turned bright red. "H-He... what a pervert! A total creep!!" she screamed, drawing confused looks from nearby players.
As a legendary doujin artist, how could she not understand the "implied" meaning behind Seito's words? Her face looked like a ripe apple.
"What's wrong?" Utaha Kasumigaoka (affectionately dubbed 'Fatty Kasumi' by certain internet trolls) looked over at her.
"Why is our little tsundere suddenly exploding? Who are you chatting with? I'm curious~"
Utaha leaned in with a penetrating stare. Eriri felt a surge of guilt and quickly typed back to Seito.
[Eriri: Pervert! What do you actually want?!]
[Seito: You called me a pervert first. I was just being honest about my feelings.]
[Eriri: ...]
Honest feelings?! You call that honest?!
[Seito: Where are you? I need you to sketch a coat for me.]
[Eriri: Sketch a coat?]
Eriri blinked. He just wants a drawing?
Nothing else? For some reason, she felt a tiny, inexplicable pang of disappointment.
[Eriri: I'm in the Floor 12 safe zone.
[Coordinates.JPG]]
Seito checked the map. She was only a hundred meters away. He closed the menu and strolled toward her. A minute later, he spotted two beautiful girls. His eyes lingered on Utaha's legs for a second—those black tights were truly top-tier.
He walked up behind Eriri and, without warning, gave her twin-tails a playful tug!
"Eek!" Eriri jumped like she'd been electrocuted.
"Yo~ That's quite a reaction." Seito let go and stepped in front of them with a grin.
"Hello, Seito-kun," Utaha said calmly, her eyes sharp.
"Hello, Fatty Kasumi," Seito replied cheerfully.
Utaha Kasumigaoka froze. What kind of nickname is that?! She felt a vein throb in her forehead. She never expected to be given such a hideous moniker.
"It seems Seito-kun is as 'interesting' as ever," Utaha said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Giving nicknames to girls you barely know... aren't you afraid of being hated? Besides, if you're going to use a nickname, at least pick something flattering. This one is quite poor~"
"As expected of the class's resident creep. Truly impressive~"
Without hesitation, Utaha activated her innate skill: Poison Tongue.
Seito took the hit with a blank face, then gave her a look of utter disdain. "Tsk, tsk. Is this really the author of Metronome in Love?"
"A total loner who has clearly never been in a real relationship~"
"No wonder the romance in your novels feels so unrealistic~"
"It turns out the author is just a single dog~"
Utaha Kasumigaoka took Critical Damage! Her lips trembled. The legendary "Fatty Kasumi" had been utterly defeated in her own domain!
Seito smirked. You want to have a roast battle with me? He knew exactly where to aim—one strike, one kill.
Eriri watched from the side, stunned. It was her first time seeing someone talk Utaha into a state of stunned silence.
Taking two deep breaths, Utaha glared coldly at Seito. "You've... read my novels?"
"Of course," Seito nodded. "I wrote quite a few novels myself back in middle school, so I read a lot of the competition."
"You? Wrote novels? Like what?"
"Oh, titles like: 'Why is my Beautiful Master so Passionate?', 'My Big Sister Next Door', and 'The Fact That My Sister and I Aren't Blood Related.'"
Utaha: "..."
Eriri: "..."
...
Thank you for reading.