The moment we step into the dungeon, I already feel it settling in, quiet and inevitable, like something that has long accepted how this is going to play out.
It isn't danger, and it isn't pressure either. It's just that familiar, creeping certainty that whatever happens next is going to involve me fixing a problem I didn't technically create but am somehow responsible for anyway.
It's a very specific kind of feeling.
The kind that says: you are about to babysit chaos.
I sigh, slow and tired, the kind of sigh that feels rehearsed from repetition rather than emotion.
"Papa, look!"
And there it is.
The problem announces itself immediately.
Karin lets go of my hand the moment we cross the threshold and bolts forward without hesitation, as if the concept of "waiting" has never existed in her vocabulary.
There's no pause, no glance back, not even a token attempt at pretending she'll behave. Just pure, unfiltered curiosity moving at full speed.
I don't bother calling out to her.
I've learned that calling her name only gives her the illusion that she has a choice, and she does not.
I lift a hand slightly, fingers moving in a small, controlled motion as mana gathers without resistance. A ribbon of water forms in the air, smooth and precise, before snapping forward and wrapping neatly around Karin's waist.
Aqua Bind activates instantly, halting her mid-step.
Her legs keep moving for a second longer, like her body refuses to accept that reality has intervened, before she ends up suspended just slightly off balance.
"Eh—?!"
I exhale through my nose and let another sigh slip out. "You let go of my hand," I say, my tone flat and completely unimpressed.
"But I saw something!" Karin protests, twisting in the air as if she can somehow argue her way out of being restrained by magic.
"And now you're seeing consequences," I reply without missing a beat.
She pauses, thinking about that for a moment, then narrows her eyes slightly. "Unfair."
"Accurate," I correct immediately.
She wiggles once more, then huffs. "Papa always uses magic when Karin is right."
"Karin is not right," I say. "Karin is fast. That's not the same thing."
Before she can argue further, a small hand slips into mine.
I glance down and find Ruri beside me, her grip gentle but intentional, the kind that feels more like she's steadying me rather than the other way around. She looks up with that calm, composed expression of hers, the kind that makes me question how she ended up in the same household as Karin.
"Papa," she says softly.
That's all it takes.
I let out a quieter breath, some of the tension easing from my shoulders. "Thank you," I mutter. "At least you're sane."
She tilts her head slightly, as if unsure whether that was praise or comparison.
It's both.
Behind us, Hikari hops down lightly and lands without making a fuss. She doesn't run off like Karin, and she doesn't anchor herself like Ruri either. Instead, she simply looks around with bright, curious eyes, taking everything in without immediately acting on it.
It's a good trait.
A dangerous one, eventually, but a good one for now.
"Hikari sees everything," she says proudly, placing her hands on her hips. "But Hikari will not run."
"That is a surprisingly high standard," I reply.
"Hikari is very responsible," she nods.
I am choosing to believe that.
For now.
I release Aqua Bind, letting Karin drop the last few inches to the ground. She lands with a soft huff, immediately crossing her arms and puffing her cheeks.
"I was going to come back," she says, clearly attempting to salvage some dignity.
"No, you weren't," I reply instantly.
She pauses, then looks away. "…Maybe I wasn't," she admits, which is about as close as she gets to accountability.
"That is progress," I say dryly.
We continue forward through the tunnel, the light behind us fading as the space opens up ahead. The air shifts, becoming lighter, less enclosed, and when we finally step out, the environment expands into a wide field of gently swaying grass beneath a sky that looks real enough to fool anyone who isn't paying attention.
I take a slow breath.
It isn't real air, not exactly, but it's convincing enough that my body doesn't argue with it.
The illusion is clean. Stable. Low-tier, but well-constructed.
I scan the area carefully, letting my senses extend outward. The mana signatures are faint and scattered, weak enough that they barely register as threats. No dense clusters, no aggressive fluctuations, no immediate red flags.
Field-type dungeon.
Just like I expected.
"Alright," I say, shifting slightly as I look at the three of them. "Listen carefully. This is a field-type dungeon, which means open terrain, simple structure, and low-complexity monster behavior."
Karin nods immediately, despite clearly not understanding any of that.
Ruri listens properly, processing the explanation with quiet focus.
Hikari tilts her head slightly, absorbing enough to stay curious without interrupting.
"In an F-rank dungeon like this, you're mostly going to see basic monsters," I continue. "Slimes, maybe a few boars. Nothing complicated, but that doesn't mean you can ignore them."
"Slimes?" Karin perks up instantly, eyes lighting up with dangerous enthusiasm.
I feel regret settle in immediately.
"Yes," I say slowly, already aware of where this is going. "They're—"
"Cute!"
And just like that, she's gone again.
This time, I don't even move.
I just watch.
Because at this point, this is less an incident and more a predictable sequence of events.
"Papa…" Ruri murmurs quietly.
"Give it five seconds," I say, keeping my tone calm.
"Hikari will count," Hikari declares. "One… two… three…"
Karin slows down ahead of us, crouching slightly as she stares at a small group of slimes. Their translucent bodies wobble gently, reflecting light in a way that makes them look almost harmless.
It's the kind of harmless that exists specifically to mislead people who don't know better.
"They're so cute…" she whispers, completely captivated.
Four.
Five.
Right on schedule.
One of the slimes suddenly lunges.
It isn't fast, and it isn't strong, but it doesn't need to be.
It just needs to act first.
"Wah—?!"
The slime splats against her arm, and for a brief moment, everything goes still.
Then she screams.
"UWAAAAAH—PAPAAAA!!!"
The reaction is immediate and excessive.
Flames erupt around her in a violent burst, expanding outward in a wave that consumes everything in its path. The slimes don't even have time to react before they're completely erased, their forms dissolving into nothing.
The grass chars instantly.
The air warps from the sudden heat before settling back into an uneasy stillness.
And just like that, it's over.
Karin stands in the middle of the scorched patch, trembling as tears gather in her eyes.
"It was mean…" she sniffles, as if she wasn't the one who just annihilated an entire group of monsters in a single reaction.
I stare at the aftermath for a moment, taking in the damage.
Then I look at her.
Then back at the damage.
Then back at her again.
There is a very specific kind of exhaustion that comes from watching a problem escalate exactly the way you expected it to.
I walk over and pick her up without a word.
She immediately clings to me, burying her face into my shoulder.
"It attacked me…" she repeats, voice small and indignant.
"It did," I say calmly, adjusting my hold on her. "You still almost burned their entire civilization."
"They started it," she mumbles.
"They existed," I correct.
Ruri steps closer, staring at the scorched ground with wide eyes.
"Amazing…" she murmurs, clearly impressed despite herself.
Hikari, on the other hand, starts clapping enthusiastically, completely unbothered by the destruction.
"That was so cool!" she says brightly.
"No," I answer immediately.
Karin sniffles again. "It was bad," she insists.
"It was," I agree. "It was also significantly less dangerous than what you just did in response."
Ruri looks between Karin and the burned ground, her expression thoughtful.
"Did it hurt?" she asks gently.
Karin pauses, considering the question seriously.
"…No," she admits after a moment.
"Then maybe it wasn't trying to be mean," Ruri says softly.
Karin frowns, clearly dissatisfied with that conclusion. "It still attacked me."
"It's a monster," I say. "That's what it does."
Hikari tilts her head slightly.
"So… are we the mean ones?"
I pause for a moment, considering how much I want to unpack that question right now.
There are several possible answers.
None of them are simple.
"We're the ones trespassing," I answer instead.
That doesn't really satisfy anyone, but it's enough to move on.
"I told you not to touch anything interesting," I add, looking down at Karin.
"But it was super interesting," she mutters.
"That's usually how it starts," I reply.
"Hikari will not touch interesting things," Hikari says proudly.
I look at her.
"You absolutely will," I say.
She pauses.
"…Hikari will try not to," she corrects.
That's more realistic.
I glance around again, letting my senses sweep the area for any reaction. The mana flow remains stable, undisturbed despite the sudden burst of fire. No signs of escalation, no hidden threats responding to the disturbance.
That's good.
Because if the dungeon starts reacting to her curiosity, we're going to have a very different kind of problem.
"Alright," I say after a moment. "New rule. If it looks cute, assume it can kill you."
"What if it looks scary?" Hikari asks immediately.
"Assume it can still kill you," I answer.
"What if it looks really small?" Karin adds.
"Especially small ones," I say.
Ruri nods thoughtfully, committing it to memory.
Karin, still in my arms, looks mildly offended but doesn't argue this time.
She nods slowly, as if trying very hard to take that seriously.
I look ahead, deeper into the field, where more faint mana signatures flicker in the distance.
Still weak.
Still manageable.
But now my concern has shifted slightly.
It's not the dungeon that worries me.
It's what happens if I stop paying attention for even a second.
Between the three of them, one is curious, one is careful, and one is unpredictable in a way that doesn't follow logic.
And somehow, I am responsible for all of them.
I let out another sigh, quieter this time, more resigned than frustrated.
"Let's keep going," I say, adjusting Karin slightly as I start walking again.
Because clearly, stopping isn't an option.
***
If there's one thing I realize very quickly after we move deeper into the field, it's that the idea of a "smooth dungeon run" is something I should have abandoned the moment I stepped inside with them. Not adjusted. Not optimized. Not heroically salvaged through experience and questionable decision-making.
Abandoned.
Because whatever this is, it isn't smooth, it isn't structured, and it definitely isn't normal.
And yet… somehow, it works.
I keep walking at a steady pace, positioning myself where I can see all three of them at once. My senses remain spread across the field, picking up every weak mana signature nearby—faint pulses scattered like background noise—but most of my attention isn't even on the monsters.
It's on them.
It has to be.
The dungeon, at this point, is predictable. They are not.
Karin has already recovered from her earlier emotional devastation—which, for her, apparently lasts about as long as it takes to find something else interesting. She runs ahead, stops, looks around, runs again, then stops again, constantly shifting between curiosity and short bursts of chaotic movement. It's not even inefficient in a normal way; it's just… unpredictable enough to be dangerous if I look away for too long.
Ruri stays closer to me, quietly picking up mana crystals and monster cores from anything I've already taken care of. She handles each one carefully, turning them slightly in her hands as if she's studying their structure before placing them into her pouch like they're fragile.
Hikari, meanwhile, drifts between both extremes—sometimes observing quietly, sometimes deciding with absolute confidence that something needs to be investigated immediately.
Which is how I end up hearing—
"Papa, look at this."
I glance over to find Hikari crouched near a patch of faintly glowing grass, her eyes reflecting the light with clear fascination. "Hikari thinks it's alive."
"Everything in a dungeon is technically alive," I reply, still scanning the area out of habit. "That doesn't mean you should touch it."
She pauses, hand hovering midair, then slowly pulls it back. "…Hikari will not touch it," she says, sounding mildly disappointed but cooperative.
That's good.
That's progress.
To my right, Ruri gently lifts another small crystal, holding it up to the light. "Papa, this one feels different," she says. "It's warmer than the others."
I glance over, letting my senses brush against it. "Fresh drop. Residual mana hasn't settled yet. Don't hold it too long or it'll destabilize in your hand."
She nods immediately, adjusting her grip before placing it away. Efficient. Careful. Precise.
She listens.
That alone makes my life significantly easier.
Then I look ahead.
And immediately regret it.
Karin is standing a few meters away, staring at another group of slimes.
Not with curiosity this time.
With intent.
Her eyes narrow slightly, her lips forming a small pout, and I can practically see the thought forming in her head.
She remembers.
She is still mad.
I sigh before anything even happens. "Karin—"
Too late.
Fire erupts again.
The slimes are erased instantly, reduced to nothing before they can even react. The grass beneath them scorches in a pattern that is starting to look alarmingly familiar, and for a brief moment, the air itself warps from the heat before settling again.
I close my eyes, inhale, then exhale slowly before walking toward her.
"Why," I ask in the calmest voice I can manage, "did you do that?"
Karin crosses her arms, still pouting. "I'm still mad."
"At… slimes?"
"At that slime," she corrects immediately.
"That was not the same slime."
"It could've been," she argues without hesitation.
I look at her for a long moment, carefully considering my options. Logic isn't going to work. Explanation isn't going to work. Negotiation is… a distant possibility at best.
I sigh again, rubbing my temple lightly. "We do not declare war on an entire species because of one bad interaction."
She pauses, thinking about it more seriously than I expected. "…What if they all attack me?"
"Then we deal with it when it happens," I reply.
She nods, satisfied.
I am not.
Before I can continue, a loud snort followed by laughter pulls my attention to the side, and I turn just in time to see something I would very much like to unsee.
Hikari.
Riding.
A boar.
Not cautiously interacting with it. Not observing from a safe distance.
Actually riding it.
She's gripping its fur with both hands as it runs in uneven, confused circles across the field, clearly having no idea how it ended up in this situation.
"Hikari is riding!" she shouts happily. "Yeeehaw!"
I stare at her in silence for a moment, my brain taking just slightly longer than usual to process what I'm looking at.
Then I sigh.
"…Of course you are," I mutter. "Why wouldn't you be?"
I raise my hand again, summoning Aqua Bind without effort. The water coils outward, smooth and controlled, wrapping around both Hikari and the boar, stopping them mid-motion before this escalates into something even more questionable.
The boar struggles briefly, but it doesn't last long. A small adjustment of pressure, a precise application of mana, and it collapses.
Hikari is left suspended for a moment before I lower her gently to the ground.
"Uwaaaah! Papa, why?!" she protests immediately. "Hikari was riding it!"
"You were riding a wild monster," I reply.
"But Hikari named it!" she insists. "Hikari named it Bobo!"
I pause, looking at the now very unmoving Bobo.
"You cannot name wild monsters and take them home," I say.
"Why not?" she asks, genuinely confused.
"Because if it escapes into the city, it becomes a problem," I explain. "A large problem. With tusks."
Hikari looks back at it, then at me, clearly struggling with that idea. "…Bobo wouldn't do that," she says quietly.
"Bobo absolutely would," I reply.
Ruri steps closer, looking between them. "Can monsters be trained?"
"Some can," I say. "That one could not."
Hikari looks genuinely saddened by that, while Karin looks completely uninterested, her earlier grudge apparently still taking priority over everything else in existence.
We continue moving after that, settling into something that almost resembles a rhythm. I handle anything that approaches, eliminating threats quickly and efficiently, while Ruri collects materials behind me with consistent focus. Karin occasionally glares at slimes like they've personally wronged her bloodline, and Hikari alternates between quiet observation and questions that are just complicated enough to require actual thought.
It would almost feel normal.
If not for the fact that I'm constantly waiting for something to go wrong.
And eventually, it does.
The mana ahead shifts.
It gathers, thickens, becoming noticeably denser than anything we've encountered so far. I stop immediately, my posture straightening as my attention sharpens.
"Stay close," I say.
They listen.
That alone tells me enough.
From the center of the field, a larger slime begins to form, its body expanding, its surface pulsing with concentrated mana. Compared to everything else here, it stands out clearly—not dangerous to me, but significant enough to matter.
The boss.
I was expecting it eventually—just not this early.
Ruri takes a small step back, startled. And then it freezes completely, encased in ice from top to bottom. I blink once, then look down at her. She's staring at it with wide eyes, her hands slightly raised like she doesn't quite understand what she just did.
"Papa—I didn't mean to!" she says quickly, rushing toward me. "It just happened—I didn't—"
I place a hand on her head and ruffle her hair gently. "It's fine," I say. "Not a big deal."
She looks up at me, still worried. "Really?"
"Really."
Behind us, Karin crosses her arms, watching the interaction with narrowed eyes. "Papa has favoritism," she mutters.
I immediately look at her. "That's not true," I say, a bit too quickly. She stares at me, and I pause before adding, "…It's situational."
That does not help.
Hikari, meanwhile, has already wandered over to the frozen boss, crouching down to examine it closely. "It looks like glass," she says, fascinated. "Hikari wants to touch it."
"Don't—"
Too late.
The moment she touches it, the ice cracks and then shatters completely, the boss breaking apart into fragments before dissolving into mana, leaving nothing behind but a fading residue.
Silence settles over the field.
I look at the remains, then at them, then back at the remains. "…That works," I say at last.
I step forward and collect the boss materials, storing them quickly. The mana density is decent—more than enough to last us for a while. "This should be enough for the week," I add. "Let's head back."
And that should have been the end of it.
It should have been.
"Papa, what's that?"
I freeze, then slowly turn my head. Karin is already walking toward a faintly glowing object at the center of where the boss had been.
Of course she is.
"Don't touch—"
She sneezes.
Fire bursts outward instantly, and the core shatters.
I close my eyes, then facepalmed. Loudly.
Ruri sighs. Hikari cheers.
"Whoopsies?" Karin says.
And then everything collapses.
The dungeon trembles, light swallowing the field as space distorts violently around us. The transition happens instantly, without warning, and before I can even say anything—we're outside, standing in front of the dungeon gate.
The guard stares at us. We stare back. A long, heavy silence stretches between us.
"…What did you do?" he asks.
I take a slow breath. "It was an accident," I say.
He looks at the three of them, then back at me, then nods. "Alright. You're going to have some explaining to do."
I sigh again, quieter this time.
Because of course we do.
Another problem.
Naturally.
*****
End of Chapter 9
RETIREMENT STATUS REPORT
Owner: Ren Arclight
Former Occupation: Demon King Slayer / World-Saving Archmage
Current Occupation: Handler of Catastrophic Variables
Peaceful Life Goal:
Avoid dungeons, avoid chaos, and remain financially stable.
Today's Activities:
*Entered F-rank dungeon with three dragon daughters
*Prevented multiple unauthorized explorations
*Contained fire-based overreaction (partially)
*Resolved hostile slime encounter (overkill)
*Stopped illegal monster domestication attempt
*Identified and engaged dungeon boss
*Allowed accidental boss elimination
*Witnessed unauthorized core destruction
*Forced dungeon collapse and emergency exit
New Developments:
*Karin capable of large-scale fire bursts (emotional trigger-based)
*Ruri capable of instant full-area freezing (unintentional)
*Hikari capable of destabilizing dungeon structures (touch-based)
*All three ignore instructions under specific conditions
*Combined threat level exceeds dungeon classification
Dungeon Status:
F-Rank Dungeon: Destroyed
Clear Time: Extremely Fast
Method: Uncontrolled Variables
Peaceful Retirement Stability:
100% Before Doorbell
0% Dragons Hatched
–9000% Public Life Collapse
–30000% Financial Crisis
–60000% Dungeon Entry
–100000% Dungeon Destroyed by Children
Current Retirement Status:
Irreversible
Immediate Consequences:
*Guard suspicion
*Mandatory explanation required
*Potential guild attention
*Risk of identity exposure
Operational Assessment:
Mission Outcome: Successful
Execution Quality: Catastrophic
Emotional Status:
Expectation - Confirmation - Acceptance
Future Outlook:
Escalating Rapidly
Archmage Personal Statement:
"I should have stayed broke."
Reality's Response:
"You are now under investigation."