The clerk at the reception desk stopped writing the moment he saw a familiar, hulking figure approaching from down the hallway.
With the weary expression of a man anticipating a massive migraine, he picked up a small Transponder Snail.
"All personnel, be advised. The 'Bear' has arrived. Judging by the bundle in his right arm, it's another modification request for confiscated weaponry. Over."
He set a stack of paper and a pen on the counter. The moment I opened my mouth to speak, he slammed them against my forehead.
"WRITE IT DOWN!"
I'd just returned from my one-week shakedown cruise. While reviewing the issues we encountered at sea, I realized there was something I desperately wanted to test, so I headed straight for the Technical Division.
Being smacked with paper is a daily occurrence here—I've become a regular since I started bringing in my "eccentric" ideas, like the overhaul of the heavy pistol "Bear Kong."
But today was different.
"Everyone, look at this!" I declared, unwrapping the bundle.
Inside was the Devil Fruit I'd received from Schneider. Speaking of Schneider, after his talk with Admiral Sengoku, he officially retired his pirate flag.
Now, as a "Civilian Collaborator," he flies a new flag modeled after his dog, Buzz, alongside the Marine ensign, conducting local patrols (which are basically fishing trips paid for by the Navy).
It's safer for him; flying a skull usually gets you sunk without questions, and the Admiral figured it was better for the Navy's image if he looked like an auxiliary.
As for the fruit, I'd spent hours agonizing over it. I found a match in the encyclopedia:
Bird-Bird Fruit, Model: Eagle.
Pell from Alabasta (who I personally think is the coolest guy in that arc) once mentioned there are only five known types of flying abilities. This was a rare find. I considered eating it myself, but then I thought... I can already use Geppo. Why bother with the swimming curse?
That's when I remembered objects like Lassoo the gun-dog or Funkfreed the sword-elephant—weapons that had "eaten" Devil Fruits. I decided I wanted an "Abyssal Weapon" (or an Akuma Weapon).
The problem? The specific technology to make an object "eat" a fruit isn't common knowledge yet.
"Whoa, a Devil Fruit!" "Where did he pick one up this time?" "Why does he always bring the weird stuff to us...?" "I smell overtime and paperwork..."
"Quiet!" I snapped. "Does anyone here know how to feed a fruit to an object?"
The researchers whispered among themselves until a representative spoke up. "Sir... how do you expect an inanimate object to chew?"
Right. So the tech hasn't been perfected by Vegapunk yet (or at least it's not public). "Fine. We'll do it the old-fashioned way: Trial and Error! Bring out 'Prototype Arsenal No. 6'!"
They brought out an experimental Gatling gun, and the madness began.
Test One: Place the fruit next to the gun. Result: Nothing. "Obviously," a researcher sighed. "If that worked, the treasure chest would have gained powers."
Test Two: Balance the fruit on top of the gun. Result: Still nothing.
Test Three: Stab the fruit with the gun barrels. Result: Did it... twitch? "You're seeing things, Captain."
Test Four: Slice the fruit and smear the juice over the metal. Result: Sticky, but inanimate.
Test Five: Press the fruit firmly against the firing mechanism. Result: I felt a strange, magnetic pull. Like a vacuum sucking at my hands. "Wait... something's happening?"
Test Six: The "Krieg Method." "HERE GOES!!" I roared and SLAMMED the fruit into the gun with my monstrous strength.
SQUELCH!
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" the engineers screamed in horror. "That's a priceless treasure! You're just mashing it!"
I kept grinding the fruit into the machinery. "Trust the process!"
"Captain! Stop! Someone get a cloth! Maybe we can save the seeds—Wait, what the...?"
The squashed fruit didn't drip onto the floor. Instead, the pulp and juice began to writhe, turning into a glowing purple mist that was being absorbed into the steel of the Gatling gun.
The weapon began to distort, its metal groaning and shifting like living bone.
"Success!" I yelled.
"WHAAAAAAAT?!" the Technical Division screamed in unison.
Where the Gatling gun had been, there was now a magnificent eagle—though its feathers had a metallic sheen and its talons looked like machined steel.
The eagle looked around the room, then fixed a sharp, predatory gaze on me. It looked... annoyed.
I remembered a bit of trivia: When staring down an animal, the first one to look away loses.
I narrowed my eyes and glared back. We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity—the hulking Marine Captain and the mechanical eagle—until finally, the bird blinked and looked at the ceiling.
Winner.
"Alright! First things first, you need a name. Eagle... Iguru... Igloo... Fire... Shoot... Storm... Wind... Okay! Your name is Kafu (Gale Force)! Got it?"
"QUAAAK!"
"Good answer! Now, can you change back?"
Kafu ruffled his feathers and folded his wings. His body retracted, the organic parts disappearing until he looked like a high-tech Gatling gun with subtle avian engravings.
"And a hybrid form?"
The eagle reappeared, but its beak transformed into a rotating Gatling barrel, and its wings became jagged, armored blades.
"Perfect. Three forms. Let's go, Kafu!"
I held out my arm. Kafu spread his wings and hopped onto my forearm, then moved up to perch stoically on my armored shoulder. I walked out of the room, leaving the Technical Division staff in a state of catatonic shock.
"Uh... do we have to report this?" one researcher whispered. "How do we even write the report? 'Captain smashed fruit into gun, gun became a bird'?" "Vegapunk is going to kill us..." "Just share the data with the Science Squad and let them deal with the headache. I'm going to bed."
I ignored them and headed for the Admiral's office—actually, no, the Library first. I needed to see if there were any records of this happening before.
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