My face feels hot, and I'm suddenly very aware of every single thing about myself like the way I'm sitting, the way my hair is probably a mess, the fact that I'm wearing fuzzy slippers with little cats on them.
Malachi is still looking at me with that soft expression, and I need to say something before this moment gets too weird.
"So," I start, turning my attention back to the water because looking at him is doing strange things to my brain, "do you come here often?"
"Sometimes," he says. "When I need to think. Or when I can't sleep."
"Cool," I say, my voice clipped. I pull my hoodie tighter around myself, creating distance.
"What about you?" he asks. "The nightmares you mentioned. Are they about today?"
"No."
He waits for me to elaborate, but I don't. I just stare at the water.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really."
I can feel him still looking at me, trying to figure me out. I hate it. I hate that he's trying. I hate that part of me wants to let him.
No. Only one-worded replies, I tell myself.
"Okay," he says carefully. "That's fine."
"So," Malachi says after a minute, "tomorrow's the Intelligence exam."
"Yep."
"You nervous?"
"Not really."
He tries again. "I heard the Professor in charge makes it brutal. Like, theoretical scenarios that have no right answers, just less wrong ones."
"Cool."
I can feel him looking at me, probably wondering why I was giving him one-word answers. But I don't elaborate.
More silence. The kind that feels heavy and uncomfortable.
"I should probably get back," I say, standing up abruptly. "It's late."
"Yeah, sure." He stands too, and I can hear the disappointment in his voice.
We walk back toward the dorms in silence, sharp and awkward, filled with all the things neither of us is saying.
I keep my eyes forward, my arms wrapped around myself. I can feel him glancing at me occasionally, like he's trying to figure out what just happened and why it felt like I started small talk only to suddenly shut down.
I don't owe him an explanation.
When we reach the entrance to the dorm building, I stop.
"Thanks for... yeah," I say vaguely, already turning away.
"Amara—"
"Goodnight, Malachi."
I don't wait for his response. I just head upstairs, slip back into my room, lock the door behind me, and collapse onto my bed.
This time, when I close my eyes, I don't see flames or people screaming.
I see blonde hair, silver eyes, and a soft smile.
And I sleep.
---
I wake up to someone pounding on my door with the enthusiasm of a battering ram.
"AMARA! WAKE UP! IT'S EXAM DAY!"
Pearl.
I groan and pull my pillow over my head. "Go away."
"NOT A CHANCE! WE'RE GETTING BREAKFAST TOGETHER AND YOU'RE COMING!"
"I'm dead. I died in the night. This is my ghost speaking."
"YOUR GHOST NEEDS TO EAT! UP! NOW!"
I hear Des's voice join in. "Pearl, maybe we should let her sleep a bit. She had a rough day yesterday."
"Which is exactly why she needs a good breakfast and moral support!"
"I don't think moral support works that way."
"IT DOES IF I SAY IT DOES!"
I give up. There's no winning against Pearl when she's in full mother-hen mode.
I drag myself out of bed, throw on some clothes that are probably clean, and open the door to find Pearl and Des standing there with matching expressions of concern.
"You look terrible," Des says.
"Thanks. That's exactly what every girl wants to hear first thing in the morning."
"I mean it in a loving way," he adds quickly.
Pearl pushes past me into my room and starts tidying up, which is her way of showing affection.
"Did you sleep at all? Your bed looks like you wrestled a bear in it."
"I slept fine," I say, which is technically true. After I got back from the lake, I slept better than I have in weeks.
"Well, you're eating breakfast even if I have to force-feed you," Pearl declares. "Today is the intelligence exam, and you need brain food."
Right. The intelligence exam.
The final test before rankings are announced.
"Maybe I'll just skip breakfast," I say. "I'm not really hungry."
Pearl and Des gasp at the same time.
"Who are you and what have you done with Amara??"
For someone wanting an ordinary life, I have some pretty dramatic friends.
Pearl shakes her head in disagreement with my decision. "Nope. Not happening. Come on."
She grabs my arm and physically drags me out of the room. Des follows behind, looking apologetic but not actually helping.
The dining hall is packed with students, all of them buzzing with nervous energy. I spot Juni sitting at a table, looking surprisingly well-rested for someone who went through what we did yesterday.
"Amara!" she calls, waving us over. "I saved you a seat!"
"Since when did both of you become friends?" Pearl whispers to me as we stare at her from afar.
"I'm just as confused as you are," I reply.
We make our way through the crowd and sit down. Juni immediately launches into a detailed analysis of what she thinks will be on the exam.
"Professor Thorne said it would cover strategy, magical theory, and problem-solving," she says, ticking items off on her fingers. "So I'm guessing we'll have some tactical scenarios, theoretical questions about magical principles, and probably some kind of logic puzzle section."
"That sounds horrible," I say.
"It's going to be brutal," Juni agrees cheerfully. "But I studied all night, so I'm ready."
Pearl slides a plate of food in front of me—eggs, toast, some kind of fruit. "Eat."
I pick at the eggs while Juni continues her exam predictions. Around us, other students are having similar conversations. Everyone is stressed, everyone is worried, everyone is trying to figure out how to survive the next few hours.
"Did you hear about Eric?" Des asks, leaning in conspiratorially. "Apparently he's been bribing upperclassmen for copies of old exams."
"That's not going to help him," Juni says. "Professor Thorne changes the questions every year."
"Still. The audacity."
I tune out their conversation and focus on eating. The food tastes nice, and I eat more since I missed dinner last night.
Across the dining hall, I spot Malachi sitting with a group of other students. He's listening to something one of them is saying, nodding occasionally, but he doesn't look particularly engaged.
Then, as if he can feel me watching, he looks up.
Our eyes meet across the crowded room.
He gives me a small nod, and I feel my face heat up.
"Earth to Amara," Pearl says, waving a hand in front of my face. "You okay? You're staring into space."
"I'm fine. Just tired."
"You sure? Because you look kind of flushed."
"I'm FINE."
We finish breakfast and head toward the examination hall. The building is massive, with high ceilings and rows upon rows of desks. Students are already filing in, finding their assigned seats.
I locate my desk number and sit down. Pearl is a few rows over, and I can see her mouthing, "good luck" at me.
I give her a thumbs up that I don't feel.
The examination hall fills up quickly. Professor Thorne stands at the front, looking as intimidating as ever. Next to her are several other professors, all of them serving as invigilators.
"Settle down," Professor Thorne says, and the room immediately falls silent. "You have three hours to complete this examination. You may begin when I give the signal. Any form of cheating will result in immediate expulsion. Are there any questions?"
No one raises their hand.
"Very well. You may begin."