"I believe you all understand the gravity of the situation," Dumbledore announced, his expression somber as he addressed the assembled students and faculty in Hogwarts' Great Hall.
A palpable gloom had settled over the usually vibrant hall.
"Professor Dumbledore, must we endure this charade?" A Gryffindor student asked, his voice filled with dread.
"Absolutely not!" The Slytherins roared in unison.
Dumbledore sighed, "I'm afraid it is a time-honored Hogwarts tradition." Tradition I'd love to break, if not for a certain student who enjoys 'sparring' a little too much.
"Let's just get this over with," Minerva McGonagall urged, steeling herself for the inevitable.
Albus Dumbledore unfurled the parchment, his voice amplified by magic, "In fourth place…"
"Gryffindor!" The Gryffindors themselves shouted in chorus.
"We're last!"
"Again!"
"I wonder how many points we managed to lose this time? I swear, Filch is harder to prank than a Hungarian Horntail!"
"You probably owe points, Weasley!"
The Gryffindors erupted in cheers, finding a twisted sense of pride in their consistent failure. If they couldn't win, they'd be the best at losing. They were determined to drain every last gem from their hourglass.
...
The Slytherins recoiled from their Gryffindor neighbors, as if the last place was contagious. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs watched with a mix of pity and bewilderment. Professor Flitwick maintained a polite silence, while Gellert Grindelwald guffawed openly.
Dumbledore paused, feeling the temperature drop as he glanced at Professor McGonagall. Her head was bowed, but Dumbledore knew a storm was brewing. Poor Gryffindors.
"Ahem," Dumbledore continued quickly, "Gryffindor, with a grand total of 13 points!"
"No!"
"How can we be this bad?"
"Filch will pay for this!"
Filch, lurking in the corner, looked as miserable as ever.
"Professor Dumbledore, are you certain?" A Gryffindor tried weakly. "Perhaps that's a smudge, and our score is actually 3?"
The Gryffindors, who had moments earlier embraced their failure, suddenly clamored for a higher score, but Professor McGonagall silenced them with a glare that could petrify stone.
Snape nodded approvingly. The Gryffindor lunacy never lasts long. Fear of punishment is a great motivator.
Seeing her students contained, Professor McGonagall addressed Dumbledore, her voice strained, "Please, continue, Albus."
"In third place, Hufflepuff, with 514 points!"
"Well, that's alright," the Hufflepuffs responded placidly. Since Cedric Diggory's departure, they were used to mediocrity. They would continue to eat well and mind their own business.
"At least we outscored the Gryffindors," a Hufflepuff muttered.
The Gryffindors hung their heads, but dared not speak.
"In second place, Ravenclaw! 1074 points!" Dumbledore announced, his voice filled with relief. Finally, a non-Slytherin house has reached 1000 points! "Commendable effort under difficult circumstances!"
"We broke 1000!"
"We'll never win the House Cup..."
"But we outscored the Gryffindors by a factor of one hundred."
The Gryffindors remained silent.
"Pathetic," a Slytherin sneered. "I could lose ten points just by speaking in class."
"They're bragging."
...
The Great Hall stared in disbelief. Professor McGonagall glared at the Slytherins.
Dumbledore quickly moved on. "And the winner of this year's House Cup is…Slytherin, with 10,186 points!"
...
Silence.
Then, pandemonium.
"Over 10,000! Ten thousand!"
"After all these years, we finally did it!"
"Let's raid Gringotts!"
Even Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter exchanged excited punches.
The professors sighed in relief.
Tom Riddle, being fed grapes by Nagini, was bewildered. Where did all these points come from? I barely attended class this year. I was expecting closer to 5,000 points.
He turned to see Gellert Grindelwald grinning at him.
"You can always trust me," Grindelwald said.
Has he been deducting points more ruthlessly than I thought possible?
Tom Riddle didn't realize Nagini's contributions to the cause. The little snake has been corrupted by the desire to please the Dark Lord.
The other houses must be on the verge of a mental breakdown.
But a cold-blooded Dark Lord doesn't care. It is their reward for serving the Dark Lord.
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