The moment Jay heard those words, his happiness shattered into silence.
"I'm going to war."
Fear crept into his chest—fear of losing his father. Along with it came sadness… and the urge to beg him not to go.
But Jay knew.
There was no point.
I can't ask him to stay… He's a hero. A captain.
His fists clenched tightly, and he couldn't even bring himself to look Poul in the eyes.
Poul had already expected this reaction. So, he decided to change the mood—just a little.
"Jay, get ready. You've already been discharged."
Jay nodded silently, turning away before getting up from the bed. He grabbed his clothes and went to change.
Outside, Poul ran into Luis, who was slightly out of breath.
"You ran all the way here?"
"Of course I did. Jay got discharged—we gotta celebrate it with something he likes." Luis rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Think there's a bookstore nearby still open?"
"Good question…" Poul muttered.
Before they could think further, a small girl with white hair caught their attention. She was accompanied by a refined man with blonde hair and a neatly trimmed beard.
As soon as she spotted Poul, she approached him with a bright smile.
"Mr. Hero! You said you'd tell Jay he was discharged, right?"
"Yes, Saint Clarice. I already told him," Poul replied.
Clarice's smile widened.
We're going to buy books… together…
Her thoughts overflowed with quiet joy.
Me, his sister, his friend… and him. So many real connections in one place…
Meanwhile, inside his room, Jay was changing clothes.
His teeth clenched.
Images of his father dying flashed in his mind—again and again, each one more brutal than the last.
His heartbeat sped up. Cold sweat ran down his back.
Then—
he dropped to his knees.
Curled up.
Only wearing his pants.
"Pathetic."
A voice echoed.
Roh.
"You're a complete hypocrite," Roh said with a mocking smile, staring deep into Jay's soul. "You killed two people. You destroyed their families."
Jay trembled.
"And now?" Roh continued coldly. "You're scared of losing your father? You want to beg him not to go to war?"
Silence.
"Disgusting."
Those words pierced deeper than any blade.
Jay lowered his head.
He's right…
I'm a hypocrite.
Maybe… I should become a slave… pay for my sins…
I'm a murderer…
Maybe I deserve to become… a slave of ice.
Cold began to form in his hand.
It spread.
Crawling up his arm.
Roh smiled wider.
But then—
"Jay! Are you ready?"
A voice.
Familiar.
Warm.
The ice stopped.
Jay froze.
Looking around, there was no one there.
Roh clicked his tongue in annoyance.
Next time… you won't have someone to save you.
Jay quickly dressed, buttoning his shirt as he rushed out.
As he passed the mirror—
he saw it.
Ice.
Still lingering on his hand.
His face turned pale.
"W-was that… real…?"
Without thinking further, he covered it.
And left.
When he stepped outside, his family was waiting.
He forced a smile.
But it was empty.
They noticed.
But said nothing.
Soon, they all headed to the bookstore.
Clarice quietly moved closer to Jay.
Something's wrong… His smile… it used to feel light… now it feels heavy.
She began observing him more closely.
At the bookstore, Jay and Noa headed straight to the action section.
Clarice tried to follow—
"Nope!" Kyrai blocked her. "I already know what you're gonna think if you go with them."
"But we were supposed to pick together…"
"And we will. Just not now." Kyrai winked.
Clarice sighed in defeat.
Mary, meanwhile, followed the boys.
Outside, a crowd had formed.
The King himself had arrived, and the bookstore was temporarily reserved for Poul's family.
People complained.
Shouted.
Demanded protection.
Inside, however—
things were calm.
Luis and Poul stood watching.
"Luis," Poul called.
"Yeah?"
"I need you to take care of Jay."
Luis blinked.
"I'll be leaving for war soon."
Silence.
"Please… do what I can't."
Luis smiled.
"I already do that, ice boy."
"…Ice boy?"
Luis laughed.
Then, more seriously—
"I've killed before, you know."
Poul froze.
"To protect the people I love."
Their eyes met.
"That's my justice."
Poul lowered his gaze… then nodded.
"I'm not any different."
Luis smiled again.
Meanwhile, inside—
Jay wandered between bookshelves.
His fingers brushed along the spines.
But something felt wrong.
Why am I not excited…?
I used to love this…
Even this… is fading…
He gave a hollow smile.
Mary noticed.
This isn't normal… I'll make him talk later.
Noa, on the other hand, was full of energy.
"Hey, I'm gonna check over there. Nothing beats TB anyway."
Jay barely reacted.
"You go."
Noa hesitated… then left.
We used to do this together…
Jay sat alone.
Reading.
Then—
he felt it.
Someone watching him.
He turned.
"Saint?"
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Got lost," Clarice said awkwardly. "I found a book… and just wandered."
"…Same."
She glanced at the book in his hands.
It was… heavy.
Melancholic.
Completely different from hers.
His world… feels darker right now…
"What are you reading?"
"How can I be happy?"
She hesitated.
"Can I… read with you?"
Please say yes…
Jay looked at her.
"…Sure."
Her face lit up instantly.
They sat together.
Reading.
Quietly.
Sharing moments.
"Hey," she said softly. "The main character… he's a bit like you."
"…Yeah."
Why do I want to talk to her more…?
After a while, Clarice finished her book.
Jay thought—
So this is where it ends…
But instead—
She stood up, walked to the shelf…
…and picked the same book he was reading.
Then came back.
And sat beside him again.
Jay blinked.
Then smiled.
A real smile.
Later—
he felt something on his shoulder.
Clarice had fallen asleep.
Jay chuckled softly.
And kept reading.
Peacefully.
When she woke up—
she froze.
Realizing where she was.
Her face turned red instantly.
"Awake, sleepyhead?" Jay teased.
"I-I just rested a bit! Idiot!"
Jay laughed.
Genuinely.
For the first time in a while.
Clarice smiled too.
I did it… I lightened his pain…
Jay looked at her—
and for a moment—
he saw it.
Hope.
She… might be my light.
Without thinking—
he hugged her.
Tightly.
And finally—
he cried.
She's my light…
Clarice didn't say anything.
She just held him gently.