"Boring! This is so boring!" Chen Fan shouted, sprawled across a table like a restless child.
"If you're bored, go take a mission," Mirajane said as she polished glasses nearby.
"No," Chen Fan replied flatly. He had no motivation for missions. To a man as wealthy as he was, missions were strictly optional.
"Then sing me a song," Mirajane suggested with a smile.
Chen Fan froze. He looked at her suspiciously, even reaching out to touch her forehead. "Mirajane, did you take the wrong medicine today?"
Slap!
Mirajane swatted his hand away. "You're the one on the wrong medicine! I just want to hear you sing. Is that so wrong?"
"Oh? Oh ho! I feel the fire! The passion is surging!" Chen Fan leaped onto the table and roared. He bolted to the second floor to grab his guitar.
"What's he doing now? Another concert?"
"Probably. He's actually a decent singer, though I have no idea where he gets these songs."
Thud!
Chen Fan jumped straight from the second floor, landing on a table. In the process, he 'accidentally' kicked a napping Makarov right onto the floor.
Chen Fan grabbed a microphone and shouted, "Everyone! Give me a song's worth of your time!" Once the guild went quiet, he continued, "Today is a momentous day. Mirajane has finally agreed to marry me! Hahaha!" He laughed hysterically, throwing all elegance to the wind.
"Tch..."
"Yeah, right! Like Mirajane would ever marry you."
"Stop lying!"
The crowd jeered, but Chen Fan didn't care. "And now, I'll perform a song for you all. I call this one: Hair Like Snow."
He began to play.
"The wolf-tooth moon... the beauty withers... I raise my cup and drink the wind and snow... Your hair like snow, the beauty of a parting... In this life, I shall accompany you with wine..."
As the final note faded, the guild remained silent, lost in the sorrowful beauty of the song. It took a long moment for them to return to reality.
Clap, clap, clap...
Applause broke out. Chen Fan's voice had conquered them all. Mirajane's eyes were brimming with tears; the lyrics had made her think of her sister, Lisanna.
Chen Fan stepped up to her and took her hand. She resisted for a second but then let her hand go limp in his. Chen Fan's heart soared. He had finally captured the heart of the guild's resident goddess the dream of every otaku.
"I wrote this song specifically for you," Chen Fan said, his voice dripping with emotion. He felt zero shame for his "plagiarism," inwardly thanking Jay Chou for the help. "Mirajane, will you be my girlfriend?"
The guild went deathly silent. Everyone was waiting for her answer. Mirajane looked genuinely moved. Her lips parted slightly, and she seemed on the verge of saying "Yes."
Smack!
A loud sound rang out as everyone turned toward the source.
It was the Bucktooth Guy the one Natsu had sent flying earlier. He smacked his fist into his palm with an "Aha!" expression. "I knew it! I knew that song sounded familiar! Isn't that the same song Chen Fan sang to Erza a while back? Except he called it 'Hair Like Blood' then!"
He suddenly noticed the atmosphere had shifted. Everyone was staring at him with wide eyes. Some looked shocked; most looked at him with pure pity.
He started to tremble. "What? What is it? I just heard it through the grapevine!"
Chen Fan's heart hammered against his ribs. He looked cautiously at Mirajane. Her smile was becoming more "brilliant" by the second.
I'm dead, Chen Fan thought.
Sure enough, Mirajane turned her back on him without a word and went back to her work. The guild members, knowing a disaster was brewing, quickly dispersed. They knew that whenever Chen Fan got angry, someone was going to have a very bad day, and they didn't want to get caught in the splash zone. Only the bewildered Bucktooth Guy was left standing alone in the center of the room.
Chen Fan walked up to him calmly and patted his shoulder. He gestured for the man to follow him outside. A moment later, a series of inhuman screams echoed through the guild, making everyone flinch. They secretly toasted their luck for not being the one to ruin Chen Fan's moment.
A while later, Chen Fan returned looking refreshed. A few curious members peeked out the door and saw a man with a head swollen like a pig's lying on the ground. They turned pale. Chen Fan was ruthless; the man's own mother wouldn't have recognized him. Out of guild solidarity, they carried the poor guy to a hospital.
"Mirajane, I was wrong! Please forgive me!" Chen Fan pleaded, leaning over the bar. She ignored him completely. This had happened more times than he could count.
The rest of the guild, used to this routine, went back to their drinking and chatting.
"Fine! You're going to ignore me?" Chen Fan's tone grew stern. "Elfman! Get out here!"
"He ran off the second he saw you make Mirajane angry," Makarov chimed in from the side.
Chen Fan's temper flared. "Then where's Gray?"
"He disappeared too."
"Well, Master, at least you're still here," Chen Fan snarled, cracking his knuckles as he loomed over Makarov with a sinister grin.
Makarov jumped in surprise. Just then, Levy's voice rang out. "Where did that 200,000 Jewels mission go?"
Chen Fan paused.
"I think Natsu took it," Makarov answered.
"Aww, what a shame. That was such a good mission," Levy said regretfully.
"Actually, it might be for the best," Makarov said, opening his eyes. "The client just called to make a change."
"Did they cancel it?" Mirajane asked.
"No. They increased the reward tenfold."
"Wait, 2,000,000 Jewels?" Levy gasped. "That's practically a suppression-level reward!"
"It was the right call not to go," Chen Fan interjected. "Forget 2,000,000; knowing Natsu, they won't even bring home 200. Hey, Levy! How's it going?"
Chen Fan slid over to Levy's side.
"Stop right there! Don't come any closer!" Jet and Droy stepped forward like twin shields to block his path.
"How can you be so cruel? I just want to be Levy's big brother!" Chen Fan squeezed out a few tears a technique he had mastered since reaching LV4 in his superpowers. He was sure the kind-hearted Levy would fall for it.
"We don't believe in tears!" Levy said, synchronized perfectly with her two guardians.
Chen Fan was speechless. He slid back to his seat in front of Mirajane and sighed. "The world is growing cold. People are so cynical these days. Only my Mirajane is truly kind-hearted."
Mirajane still didn't spare him a glance, but Chen Fan wasn't embarrassed. His skin had grown thick enough to withstand anything.
He sat there, bored, listening to the guild's gossip. Suddenly, he heard someone mention that Erza was almost home. Chen Fan's expression didn't change, but Mirajane flinched almost imperceptibly.
Chen Fan missed it, but Makarov, sitting right beside her, saw it clearly.
The Master offered a small smile and went back to his beer.
🚨 Note: Consider supporting this story on Patreon.com/kleinmoretti to access 100+ advance chapters and 2 new chapters daily! (Full story bundles also available without a subscription).