"My little Ozpinopus!" Magenta cried out in the middle of the night.
"Holy shit!" Yort jumped up right after her, nearly slamming his forehead into his TV. "It's two in the fucking morning, why are you screaming?!"
"Did you have a nightmare?" Egrer turned on the lamp on his nightstand and squinted against the bright light. He had only managed to force himself to sleep very recently, having spent the time before that coming up with rhymes for the union anthem. The scribbled-in notepad was lying right next to his pillow.
"My Ozpinopus is d-d-dead!" Magenta hid her face in her hands and started sobbing. Apparently, it really was a nightmare; this happened to her sometimes. For such a passionate personality, it wasn't hard to genuinely believe a fleeting thought or a dream.
"Shh, shh." The whole pack gathered around her bed. Everyone offered support however they could: Yort awkwardly loomed nearby like a pile of muscles, Illmond sat awkwardly beside her, and only Egrer actually did something. "Your octopus is fine, just swimming around in the pond, eating fish. Tell us, what did you dream about?"
Magenta tried to gather her thoughts and answer something, but kept breaking down into sobs. As in any emergency situation, Egrer took the reins of leadership into his own hands.
"Yort, go grab some water. Ill, hand her a tissue." They rushed to follow the instructions, and once Magenta had gulped down some water and blown her nose, she finally spoke.
"I didn't dream it! I remembered!"
"What did you remember?" Egrer pressed, trying to bury his anger over his interrupted sleep as deep as possible. On the night between Saturday and Sunday, all he wanted was to catch up on his sleep.
The pack was already used to Magenta's eccentricities, but sometimes she made them remember the early days of their acquaintance, when almost every phrase of hers either left them in a stupor or annoyed them. Yeah, those were tough times...
Suddenly, there were heavy footsteps outside their door, and soon someone pounded on it with all their might.
"Why the fuck are you screaming in the middle of the night?!" came Cardin's voice. "Shut your bitch up and let us sleep!"
"What did he just call her?" Illmond's face instantly changed. From a guy terrified of violence, he turned into a maniac. "I'm going to pull his guts out through his nostrils."
"And I'll wrap his dick around his neck." Yort cracked his knuckles, and together they menacingly headed for the door.
"Hey, and who's going to calm Madge down?" Egrer reasonably pointed out.
"You. We're pretty useless at that anyway." The retired Vacuan hitman stepped out of the room right behind Illmond. "Hey, you piece of shit! What the fuck did you just squeak about Madge?!" Sounds of a scuffle echoed from behind the door.
Egrer let out a heavy sigh, but decided he would fulfill his assigned mission no matter what.
"Madge, what did you remember?" he repeated, giving her a caring hug.
"Octopuses live in saltwater, and the ponds here are freshwater... My little Ozpinopu-u-us!" She cried even louder than before.
Damn it, she's actually right. Freshwater is dangerous for octopuses, isn't it? If he really died out there from a lack of salt or something, it's going to be a terrible blow for Madge.
"Listen to me, nobody died." Egrer frantically tried to think of what to say to calm her down. First, he needed to channel her energy in a positive direction. "But you're right, he really can't stay in the pond. Tomorrow we'll pull him out and take him to the ocean, deal?"
"Exactly!" Her tears vanished as if wiped away by magic; it was suspiciously easy. Something was definitely bound to happen now.
And Egrer wasn't wrong. With a yell of "I'm coming!", Magenta vaulted out the window, not even bothering to open it first. The shattered glass hadn't even hit the floor before he leaped out after her.
"Hey, hold up, I said tomorrow! Put some clothes on at least, it's freezing out there!"
"No time!"
The grass unpleasantly tickled their bare feet, and the stray pebbles poked their soles, but they kept running toward Ozpinopus's pond. Without slowing down for a second, Magenta dove headfirst into the water with a running start.
"Gods, give me the strength to deal with her!" Egrer shouted at the sky. He dove in after her without a second thought, since Magenta could easily forget that she needed to breathe.
The remnants of sleep were instantly swept away, as if he had never gone to bed at all. His eyes shot wide open, and Egrer barely contained the urge to take a frantic gasp of air; the tension made even his throat scratchy. His body quickly broke out in goosebumps and started shivering; the water at two in the morning was truly ice-cold.
Thanks to his Faunus night vision, he could make out the algae, a couple of swimming fish, and Magenta, who was swinging her head from side to side. Egrer joined the search; the sooner they found Ozpinopus, the sooner this whole circus would end.
Do octopuses even need sleep? If so, where do they usually do it? Under rocks, or do they bury themselves in the sand?
He only knew that these animals shoot ink and have eight tentacles with suction cups. But that wouldn't matter if he had actually died here from a lack of salt or something like that. In that case, he could be lying anywhere.
After wandering the bottom and flipping over a couple of rocks, Egrer felt the air in his lungs running out. He grabbed Magenta by the shoulder and pointed a finger upwards. Fortunately, she wasn't so reckless and understood that if she drowned down here, she wouldn't be of any help to her Ozpinopus anyway.
"Have you completely lost your fucking minds?!" Yort yelled from the shore, illuminating his path with his Scroll. Illmond stood next to him. "Why the hell did you go in the water, you morons?"
"Yort, let's not do this right now, alright!" Egrer replied, not letting Magenta dive right back in immediately after taking a breath. "Hold on a sec. Yort, use your Semblance and tell me where we have the best chance of finding her octopus! Ill, run and grab some blankets, a plastic bag, Needle-Pierce, and my Scroll, it's under my pillow! Make sure you bring the Scroll!"
Illmond immediately bolted toward the dorm, leaving Yort standing on the shore. He froze, mentally divided the pond into zones, and for each one asked a single question: "What are the chances there's an octopus in there?"
"Over in that corner, under the bridge, sixty-nine percent! Near the shore by that tree, sixty-one! Dead center is exactly fifty."
"Madge, you swim under the bridge, and I'll check the center."
"Got it."
Egrer kept his head in the relative warmth of the air for another moment, then dove under. The deeper he went, the harder the water pressed against his ears and nose, and near the bottom, even with his Faunus vision, he had to squint and navigate mostly by touch.
Only rare patches of light dotted the bottom; the shattered moon barely reached down here. Algae tangled around his arms and legs, but snapped easily with a little effort. The freezing, bone-chilling cold became a much bigger problem; his body had stopped shivering, and that was a very bad sign.
After a few dives, Egrer found nothing but trash, but he had gone so numb that continuing was simply dangerous. His arms and legs were already refusing to obey him.
Fortunately, it wasn't necessary; Magenta eventually found her pet anyway.
"Here he is! Here he is!" she stretched her hand toward the sky, cradling an octopus that was weakly moving its tentacles. He was definitely sick.
They swam to the shore, and Illmond immediately wrapped them in warm blankets. Ozpinopus was placed in a plastic bag filled with water, which Magenta took for safekeeping, practically snatching it out of Yort's hands. She was shivering from the cold and could barely bend her fingers, threatening to drop her burden at any second. But despite that, a bright smile shone on her face.
Until she realized that Ozpinopus was on the brink of death.
Egrer didn't want to watch Magenta fall into mourning again, so he had already decided on extreme measures beforehand. He really didn't want to do this, but he saw no other way to get them to the sea quickly. Anything for Madge.
"A-A-Alr-r-right," the unofficial leader said in a trembling voice. Snot leaked from his nose, and he wiped it away with his blanket. "W-We're g-going to the B-Bullh-heads."
"What are you planning?" Illmond grew wary.
"T-To rem-member the g-g-good old d-days."
The Bullheads sat on the landing pads, alone and unguarded. Though, who were they guarding them from, if there couldn't be any intruders at Beacon? They definitely had alarms, but Egrer had no intention of sneaking around anyway. Once they fired up the engines and took off, they'd be detected regardless.
"Gimme N-N-Needle-P-Pierce." Egrer took his weapon from Illmond's hands.
A second later, two needles shot out of it, one of which he jammed into the gap of the side ramp. It was hard to focus, but Egrer strained and coated his weapon in a light cream-colored Aura, then gave a signal to Yort. Without any questions, Yort kicked the second needle with all his vacuous might. A large gap opened up between the ramp and the hull of the Bullhead, and the entire pack shoved their fingers in at once. Soon enough, they squeezed inside.
"You act like you've done this a hundred times," Illmond noted.
"Well, n-not a hundred, but d-definitely t-twenty." Egrer smiled eagerly, but quickly caught himself. After this whole ordeal, he would absolutely return the stolen vehicle to its place. "W-We g-gotta hurry, w-who knows w-what kind of a-alarm they've g-got rigged here. The dispatchers m-might already k-know about the b-break-in."
Entering the cramped cockpit, he first sat in the seat and mentally ran through all the steps of hijacking a Bullhead. Whichever way you looked at it, he hadn't done this in a long time and had forgotten the sequence of actions. Besides, security systems and the internal workings of the tech could have changed significantly since then.
This is it, Egrer thought sadly. The oath he made after his escape was broken, and no mitigating circumstances could fix that. Neither the fact that Magenta's mental health depended on the success of the operation, nor the fact that he intended to return the Bullhead afterward.
He had officially sunk back down to the level from which he had spent so long climbing up to normal society.
"Alright." It was much warmer inside than outside, and Egrer felt his body finally starting to thaw out. "First thing's first, we need to pop the panel. Yort, if you would be so kind."
They didn't have the right tools, so they had to resort to brute force. Their retired Vacuan hitman ripped out a chunk of steel with his bare hands, exposing the Bullhead's guts.
"I absolutely hate this," Illmond shared, peering outside. "We'll be lucky if we don't get expelled for pulling these stunts."
"Madge, keep watch." Egrer handed her his blanket; she'd definitely need it more outside. The girl nodded and handed the bag with the octopus to Illmond, exhibiting an unprecedented act of trust. If only she always showed such understanding and seriousness, and not just when the life of some cephalopod was on the line... "Yort, do you know anything about hotwiring?"
"Not really. I was mostly doing racketeering."
"Right, stupid question. Then just shine some light with your Scroll." Even though Faunus vision allowed him to see in the dark, it was still handier with a bright light.
Egrer rubbed his hands together and reached for the wires, circuit boards, and other electronics, running his fingers along the back of each panel component. Feeling the painfully familiar letters "Orion," he mercilessly ripped out the cone-shaped communication node so that control over the Bullhead couldn't be overridden by dispatch. True, this also made them deaf and mute, but they didn't need radio comms anyway.
"Right. What's next?" he asked himself, running his hands over rows of chaotically scattered wires.
"What, you don't know what you're doing?"
"I haven't done this in over two years," Egrer snapped back. "Obviously I forgot a few things. Shut up and keep the light steady, I'm trying to remember."
His father had taught him about ten ways to hijack a Bullhead for the most diverse situations and conditions. Right now, Method Nine with the "B" designation fit best—a hijack where you don't know what anti-theft system is installed, whether they already know a crime is in progress, and whether they've already sent someone after your soul. This method was strictly a last resort.
Let's start from the end. Before taking off, we need to trick the system into thinking it's an authorized flight. To get the system online, you either insert a keycard or find a roundabout way to kickstart the backup generator. To start the backup generator, you need to deliver a solid shock to the main one. I think... or is a severed cable enough?
Since the second option sounded safer, Egrer decided to go with it. The only problem was, he had nothing to cut it with. He wasn't going to pick at it with Needle-Pierce, right? Although...
"Yort, turn this piece of metal into some kind of knife." Yort obediently took the recently discarded panel cover and effortlessly ripped a smaller chunk off it. He just grabbed it and tore it, barely even breaking a sweat.
Then he quickly ran his index and thumb along the edge of the resulting contraption. The metal even grew slightly red-hot, but acquired enough sharpness to slice through wires. Egrer had just brought the makeshift knife up to the cable when Yort grabbed his arm.
"What the hell are you about to do?! What if you get electrocuted?"
"You're actually right. Didn't think of that..."
"You always forget something important," Illmond didn't miss the chance to be snarky.
"Oh, look who's a smartass! My nerves are shot, I've slept for only a couple of hours, I'm starving, and I just crawled out of a freezing pond. I'd love to see you try to paint after all that."
Suddenly, Magenta peeked into the cockpit. She looked incredibly serious, even more so than earlier.
"Stop chatting and making excuses! Every second counts." With that, she returned to her post.
"Whatever you say, leader," Egrer replied with noticeable sarcasm.
"Leaderess."
"Whatever you say, lead-er." Magenta didn't reply, and Egrer was glad he got the last word in this little dispute.
Like I'm going to let this wannabe leader boss me around. I'm busting my ass here for her, and she can't even say a kind word.
If it couldn't be cut, it could be torn. The cable was tough, but Yort had dealt with worse. Something immediately hummed, and a second later, a red light blinked on the ceiling, followed by the monitor booting up. Finally, the computerized assistant announced that contact with Central Command was impossible. The display flashed red, warning that the comms node was damaged or missing.
From there, his hands did everything on their own; muscle memory activated. Egrer barely understood what he was doing or why, but if he had stopped to think about the meaning behind his actions for even a second, the magic would have vanished instantly.
"Super," Egrer nodded, popping open the glove compartment. Not out of a bout of kleptomania, but in search of an adapter to connect his Scroll to the control panel. There's always one somewhere in the cockpit—it's standard equipment on a Bullhead, since updates, necessary data, and the like are uploaded directly from a Scroll.
Next came the easiest part of the job: activate a specific app on his Scroll and wait about five minutes for a brute-force hack. Doing it manually would take way too long.
And during that time, he could mentally prepare for the upcoming flight. Egrer had somewhat forgotten the controls... He reassured himself that since he remembered how to hijack a Bullhead, he'd remember how to fly one too.
"Ill, come closer." Egrer decided to spend these five minutes as productively as possible. "I'm going to initiate you into thievery."
"Can we not?" He backed away.
"It's tradition, it can't be ignored!"
"I thought you were done with that," Yort said. "Not a thief anymore."
"What's the difference? In Mistral, we can still perform initiations even after retirement."
"Yeah? It's different in Vacuo. Until you've done time in the pen, they won't even treat you as an equal."
"In Mistral, it's the other way around. If you get caught and do time, you're no longer a big shot. The real badasses don't sit in jail, they get business done."
"Different kingdoms, different rules." They both shrugged, then turned to Illmond. The latter paled.
"Get over here, I said. You're with us, which makes you a thief, and it's a shame for a thief not to be initiated into our trade."
"I don't need any initiations! And I'm not a thief anyway."
"Then what are you doing in a hijacked Bullhead?" Egrer pointed out reasonably. "With us thieves?"
"I'm a hostage." It sounded very unconvincing.
"Ooooh..." Yort dragged out. "Trying to weasel out and ditch us? You're a rat, not a hostage. We off guys like that."
"Let's not jump to extremes." Egrer raised his hand pacifyingly. "We'll just set up a mattress for him by the slop bucket, and he can sleep there."
Illmond let out a heavy sigh, perfectly aware that they were just joking out of nervousness (though he wasn't so sure about Yort), but he also realized all over again who he was living with. He could barely tolerate the Vacuan gangster's quirks, and now Egrer was starting too.
Egrer himself didn't quite understand what spurred him to take this step. Nostalgia? Sincere respect for tradition? Maybe the mounting fear compelled him to do something while they waited?
"Fine, what's the initiation?"
"It's simple. I told you, just step closer, I'll do the rest." Illmond suspiciously stepped closer. "Lean forward."
"Or maybe you should stand up?" He was looking for a trap where there wasn't one. It was amusing, since Egrer had dug around in the same exact spot in his time.
"It doesn't befit a kingpin to stand during a rookie's initiation."
"You, a kingpin?" Yort laughed. "We off guys for that."
"In case you forgot, Torchwick is my adoptive father. And he is a kingpin, a global one at that, which means I am too."
"That's not how it works," the Vacuan mobster shook his head. Egrer simply waved him off and held his hand out to a frowning Illmond.
"Kiss."
"Seriously?" the global kingpin gave a regal nod in response. "How about you first tell me all the steps of this initiation?"
"Why are you being such a pussy?" barked Yort, who was infuriated by such disrespect toward thief culture, even if it belonged to a different kingdom. "Egrer's about as much of a kingpin as I am a family man, but since you're here with us, everything's gotta be done by the book. Get initiated already, you scum."
"Exactly," Egrer nodded, "besides, I can't tell you anything, since thief culture and rites can only be discussed with your own kind. You're not one of ours yet, but you're on the right track! Kiss." Illmond finally gave in and quickly pecked his fingers.
And he squinted suspiciously when Egrer placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't be a tramp," then on the other shoulder, "don't screw up," his hand formed a fist and pressed menacingly against the left side of Illmond's face, "be a good thief."
Illmond was too busy keeping an eye on the obvious threat of the fist near his face, completely missing the sharp slap from the right.
"Hey!" he immediately leaped back.
"That's the rite. I went through it myself back in the orphanage," Egrer immediately confessed, just to make sure there were no misunderstandings or grudges between them. "Yort, bear witness."
"Don't be a tramp, don't screw up," he said quickly, so Illmond couldn't react.
"Enough already!"
"Congratulations, now you're a real thief and a solid dude," Egrer smiled. "Remind me sometime to tell you about the unwritten laws, a good thief shouldn't be ignorant of them."
"Are you going to do the same to Madge?" Illmond grumbled, raising a good question nonetheless.
"No, girls are supposed to be initiated by other girls. Sometime later." The Scroll beeped, indicating the job was done. "Ma-a-adge! Jump inside, we're taking off soon. As for you, Ill, I have your first mission. Appreciate my trust!"
"If it's something about 'unwritten laws', you'd better ask Yort."
"No, nothing like that." Egrer patted the co-pilot's seat invitingly. "Your job is to hold the severed cable from the main generator together. We aren't flying on emergency power." Illmond sighed, shoved the octopus at Yort, and reluctantly proceeded to fulfill the assigned mission.
"I'm here." Magenta peeked into the cockpit but didn't come all the way in. It was cramped enough as it was. "How's Ozpinopus, is he doing better?"
"Seems the same as before." Yort shone his Scroll on the bag; the body inside was weakly twitching its tentacles.
Meanwhile, Egrer mashed some buttons and fired up the main generator; the red light went out, and normal white light illuminated the cabin.
"Alright, let's fly." He put his right hand on the yoke and flipped a couple of toggle switches with his left.
The Bullhead's engines roared to life, whirred, and lifted the craft into the air. Noise flooded the cabin since the ramp had been violently forced and refused to close. For the exact same reason, blasts of freezing air rushed inside, creating a terrible draft. Egrer hadn't had time to dry off and started shivering again, which caused the Bullhead to drift sideways.
"Slow down, slow down!" He jerked the yoke, pumped the pedals, and somehow managed to level out. "What a touchy model, who the hell even flies these things?!"
"Don't scare us like that," Yort rumbled, gripping Illmond's seat. Illmond looked terrified too, but by an order of magnitude more.
"Don't look out the window, don't look out the window, don't look out the window... so high, so high, so high..." he muttered to himself, his eyes locked dead on the wire.
"Oh right, Ill," Egrer had intentionally kept quiet about this earlier, "if by some chance those contacts separate, we're going to crash. So don't let go." Illmond smiled manically and practically pressed his face against the cable. He kept mumbling "I knew there was a catch" over and over until his muttering faded into silence.
Egrer held a course straight toward the dark expanse of the sea. Sad thoughts crept into his head about how it was high time he wrote his mom to tell her he'd be coming back to them soon.
Just as Illmond had said, they'd be lucky if they didn't get expelled...
But on the other hand, what options did they have? Leave Magenta alone with her problems? Wait until tomorrow evening and walk to the sea after classes, when it might already be too late? Egrer couldn't care less about this Ozpinopus, but he didn't want Magenta to be sad over its idiotic death.
Here it was, the duty of a true leader—to step up for the pack, even if in the end you get nothing but a headache. Their official leader had a long way to go to reach this truth. She still hadn't recovered from the euphoria of realizing she could order someone around.
Egrer pulled back on the yoke; the engines swiveled into a vertical position. The Bullhead hovered over the water.
"Alright, drop him!" he yelled back.
"Go lower! He's gonna go splat!"
"How much lower can I go?! Do you want me to land on the water?!"
"Lower!"
"Motherf—... if I ever... this Bullhead..." he muttered angrily, nudging the yoke slightly forward. "Is this okay?"
"Yes! Thank you!"
"Thank you," Egrer mocked her quietly. "What would I do without you? How would I manage without your resolve and confidence? Bah."
"Why are you so pissed?" Yort asked.
"Because, as usual, I'm the one solving your problems, while Magenta is supposedly our leader. Tell me honestly, which one of us is better? Just be honest, don't pick Madge just because she lets you do whatever crazy shit you want."
"What, am I supposed to pick you because you don't let me do crazy shit? Madge is unreliable, but at least she doesn't nag me."
"Mercenary assholes." Egrer turned to Illmond but changed his mind about asking him the same question. It was already obvious here. "Madge, are you done?!"
"Not yet!"
"Then wrap it up! What's so hard about dropping an octopus into the water?!"
"I'm saying goodbye!" she barked with an uncharacteristic sharpness. "Give me another second!"
"Oh, Gods..." Egrer banged his head against the yoke. Several times.
"You're really wound up today. You should drink some chamomile tea." Yort showed something resembling care, but the pack-rejected alpha didn't give a damn.
"Shut up!"
"I let him go." Magenta peeked into the cockpit. Her sad smile and melancholy look somewhat cooled Egrer's temper. And when she squeezed into the cockpit and kissed him on the cheek, he was completely stunned. "Thank you."
Did she just... kiss me?
He touched his cheek, looking bewildered at a flustered Magenta. The rest of the pack's eyes widened; even Illmond looked away from the cable. No one could believe she had done something like that.
Has Madge grown up? I mean, did it finally dawn on her that boys and girls are slightly different creatures?
In that regard, she was like a child who winces at the sight of affectionate parents. It was exactly because of this childlike innocence that no one in the pack saw her as a girl. Well, except Illmond, but he was just a pervert.
And Magenta, in turn, didn't see them as guys. Perhaps previously she had just spent too much time in their all-male company, but now, having befriended a couple of girls at Beacon, she had started acting more like a girl herself.
Please, Gods, give me an answer - will she at least start changing in the bathroom now?!
Egrer was snapped out of his daze by Illmond's envious glare, which promised nothing good. It looked like he was plotting to slit the alpha's throat in his sleep or orchestrate an accident.
"Ahem, Madge, don't forget I wasn't the only one who helped you," he casually pointed out, and Magenta immediately planted a kiss on Yort and Illmond's cheeks. The former got flustered and looked away, while the latter postponed his revenge plans for the indefinite future, plunging into dirty fantasies. Looks like another bout of inspiration could be expected from him. "Alright, let's fly back."
***
The headmaster and his deputy were already waiting for them at the landing pad. It was to be expected, but their appearance still dealt a heavy blow to the pack's morale.
Ozpin looked composed and dignified as always, and even the green pajamas bearing the Beacon emblem didn't ruin that impression. Miss Goodwitch, however, clearly hadn't had time to put herself into any semblance of order. The woman who could be called the embodiment of the law was currently disheveled, her everyday clothes worn askew, and she was visibly furious at having her sleep interrupted.
Egrer landed the Bullhead in the exact spot it had been stolen from and obediently stepped outside.
"A wonderful night for a flight, isn't it?" Ozpin asked, gesturing with his hand as if he wanted to take a sip from a mug. But there was no mug, and the headmaster stared at his palm in surprise.
"Y-yeah..." An idiotic smile forced its way onto Egrer's face all on its own. He looked anywhere but at him. "And the m-moon is shining so brightly." Everyone looked up at the sky, where the shattered luminary drifted steadily across the dark heavens. Though Miss Goodwitch continued drilling them with a displeased glare.
"Explanations." She demanded in a bone-chilling voice. That single word was enough to make even Yort break into a cold sweat, and he was usually more than happy to test someone's patience.
"Glynda, I believe we can wait until we reach my office," the headmaster said soothingly. He didn't seem the least bit bothered that he'd had to get up in the middle of the night. "It is quite chilly outside, and we are in our pajamas. Besides, look at Mr. Peleni and Miss Toti; they are clearly soaking wet."
Goodwitch inspected everyone present and frowned.
"Very well." She hissed through her teeth, and Egrer could swear on his mother's life she only agreed not out of compassion for them, but solely out of respect for Ozpin's authority.
The walk to the headmaster's tower passed in dead silence. Squeezing into the elevator, they rode up, but even in such tight quarters, a half-meter dead zone remained around Miss Goodwitch. Egrer decided to risk one small clarification:
"Are we getting expelled?"
"I don't know," Ozpin shrugged.
"But you're the headmaster."
"Correct." Egrer expected an explanation to follow those words, but none came.
The pack exchanged panicked looks; no one knew what to do, and only Yort looked confident. But he was trying far too hard to project an apathetic, calm demeanor, so his confidence was clearly a facade.
"Yort, are we getting expelled?" Egrer whispered.
"My Semblance is silent," he answered a second later. "Means there's no room for chance here. They've probably already made up their minds."
The elevator doors opened, and the lights in the headmaster's office instantly flicked on. Four chairs bounded out of nowhere from the side and hopped toward the desk, where they froze as if they had never been alive.
"Team Majesty, please take a seat." Ozpin pointed at the chairs and sat down in his own. The pack obediently did as told. "Now then, what spurred you to commit such a reckless act as hijacking a Bullhead?"
"You see, it's quite a convoluted story." Egrer started wearing his goofy smile, trying to come up with something to say. But the moment he opened his mouth again, Miss Goodwitch snapped her riding crop.
"When a question is addressed to a team, the leader must answer," she declared firmly, pacing back and forth behind them.
"Miss Toti, tell us everything from the very beginning," the headmaster asked amiably, pushing a small bowl of candies toward her.
Egrer prayed to all the Gods that for once in her life, she would act normally. After all, she had been showing some progress in that department!
Naturally, his hopes were in vain, and if the Gods truly existed, they were already laughing their heads off up in heaven.
"We were saving Ozpinopus!" Magenta blurted out in one breath, followed by a rambling story that started not just at the beginning, but at the very, very beginning. Not from the fight with Yang at Junior's club or the compensation, but from the day she first got the idea of having a pet octopus. As it turned out, it had been her childhood dream, though such details clearly didn't interest the headmaster, who was sleeping with his eyes open, or Miss Goodwitch, who couldn't stand still.
"An egregious outrage! Your stunt is the pinnacle of idiocy! Hijacking a Bullhead in the middle of the night just to return an octopus—illegally brought onto Academy grounds—to its natural habitat. In my entire career, I have never heard a more absurd excuse."
"It's not an excuse," Magenta said quietly, nearly crying under the pressure. But she still found the strength to answer. "Ozpinopus was really sick, he would've died."
"Do not speak that name in my presence. Ever." The professor tapped her crop against the desk. "Do you understand me?"
"Yes, Miss Goodwitch," Egrer answered instead of Magenta, "but the octopus was real, we would never have hijacked a Bullhead just to go for a joyride."
"I believe them," Ozpin suddenly stated, interrupting the tirade his deputy was preparing to unleash. In his pajamas and behind his desk, he looked very unusual, even comical.
"It's utter nonsense." Miss Goodwitch resumed pacing the office. "Absurdity. Unmitigated absurdity!"
"Cardin is a witness," Egrer suddenly remembered. "He came running when Magenta yelled, maybe he heard something about Ozp... ahem, the octopus."
"If he did hear anything, he probably won't remember," Yort chuckled, practically unfazed by the murderous aura radiating around them. "Ill and I beat the crap out of him."
"So you assaulted a student as well?" Miss Goodwitch asked, her voice trembling from an overload of emotions. She was clearly on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
"Oops," the part-time Vacuan thug uttered. Egrer facepalmed and sighed heavily. "Come on, Eg, they would've found out about it anyway. That jerk isn't man enough not to snitch."
"I hope you realize you have committed several rather serious offenses?" the headmaster asked. The pack nodded in unison; only Illmond was trembling with fear, his gaze locked on Miss Goodwitch's riding crop. Or maybe it wasn't fear at all... "You will have to pay a fine for the damaged Bullhead and the broken window. The amount will be assessed by our groundskeeper, as will the nature of your upcoming detention tasks."
Egrer raised his hand like he was in class. He'd been shut down a couple of times for speaking out of turn, so maybe they'd hear him out this way?
"Yes?" Miss Goodwitch allowed him to speak with a sigh.
"But isn't... um..." He didn't know how to say this without angering the Iron Lady even more, but the idea of paying a fine revolted his very core. "Couldn't you just fix it all? Like you do in class, you know."
"No. Mending two stones is one thing, but a pane of glass is quite another. To say nothing of a Bullhead's delicate electronics."
"I see."
"But even if I could, the fine will certainly serve as a fitting deterrent against committing such outrages again." Egrer really didn't like her smile; he quickly hid his gaze in the floor again.
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
"I believe," Ozpin chimed in, "detentions and a fine will suffice. Glynda?"
"I have no objections." Miss Goodwitch calmed down a little, seeing justice served. "I only wish to add that if anything like this ever happens again, I will raise the issue of your expulsion from Beacon."
"That's not fair," Magenta suddenly spoke up. Egrer instantly slapped his hand over her mouth, but she pulled his arm away. "We did a good thing, we saved Ozpinopus's life! He would have died in freshwater."
"Is that so?" the Iron Lady inquired in a murderous tone. Her crop snapped. "I'm curious to know, who was it that threw him into the Beacon pond? Moreover, you could have come to me or the headmaster for help. You would have received a reprimand for secretly bringing a pet onto the grounds, but certainly not for a hijacked Bullhead and a beaten student!"
"It's just that I only remembered today that octopuses live in saltwater." Magenta continued speaking with a sort of suicidal stubbornness.
"Do not look for excuses; such behavior is unacceptable for a leader!" Miss Goodwitch stepped right in front of her. "You must set an example for your team. You deserve a separate reprimand, Miss Toti. Tomorrow, I will expect you in my office at two o'clock in the afternoon, and don't you dare be late or fail to show up—no excuses will be accepted. Do you understand me?"
"She underst—"
"Was the question addressed to you, Mr. Peleni?" Goodwitch didn't even glance in his direction, continuing to loom over Magenta. The girl lowered her eyes and shrank back in fear.
"I understand," she whispered.
"Splendid. In that case, return to your room."
The pack obediently trudged toward the elevator. As always, before the doors closed, the headmaster offered a few parting words:
"I am glad you were driven by noble intentions, but try not to break the rules from now on. I am always open to the requests of my students and will gladly help if anything happens. Good luck."