"Onyx"
My head hurt, I knew I had til the end of today to head to the water or I would start loosing control. I sat there in front of my desk feeling exhausted. "Remember to take care of yourself" the doctors words rang in my head. Always doctors nagging and my problems never any closer to being fixed.
I began to rub my temples again. A nasty habit of mine. I kept flipping through papers and honestly I could hardly focus or care a wit about it right now. This wasn't even my kind of life I would dream of.
I longed back for a time now distant. Where freedom found me in every corner. I wonder how I would find it now? I treasure my family and duty to much. People like me don't get to have freedom. We lack in that very thing so others may have what we do not.
I was not clueless that some people in this world take advantage of it but I would refuse to. What is the point of having these fancy chairs and furniture and decor when I can't even relax and enjoy it? Is there any joy for someone like me without the joy of others.
I knew my reputation in college was that of a spoiled one. To everyone I was where I was because of my family, my connections, my privilege. They would say we're so different, different humans and different levels. They would scorn people like me saying we're all corrupt and judgemental. However, I did not care if others matched a status of my own nor even a wealth. The prejudice they accused me of is the very same they possesed towards me.
I merely wished for a world where we all would work together peacefully as equals. Equality doesn't mean the same. Everyone has a different need, or skill set to use. Those differences being made equal is what I strive for, however I knew that society wouldn't embrace such things. I knew it was but a fairytale just like my poems.
"Khun you have a meeting in 10 minutes do you have all the documents prepared?" Asked my secretary. "I will be in the meeting room very shortly" I replied staring at all the unfinished work piling on top my desk.
Surely there are more interesting things I could be doing right now. I wished I could be playing with Pixie right now but I know she was busy with school.
I got up to grab a quick coffee not wishing to draw attention any further for a brief break trying to clear my mind. I saw the glimpse of a sprightly boy bouncing around the company. I luaghed a little at the sight. He looked so bright eyed. My first impression of him is he looked quite gloomy, like a sharpened dagger; Slender and pretty but far from soft.
It was good to see he was adjusting quickly. I am not sure why I cared, but at least someone likes working in my company.
He certainly doesn't look like a manager though, if people walked by they would assume he is one of my talents. I honestly wondered who combed his long hair; It was cute, attractive even, but definitely needed more styling. In fact, his entire outfit did. Talk about wasted potential.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw my secretary pointing to her watch reminding me of the time. I sighed, "well admiring the view time is over" I thought. I took one last glance, before slipping something into my pocket and heading in.
I let out a heavy sigh leaning over my desk. My back hurting more than earlier. The pain was beginning to become difficult to bare but more work was to be done.
I glanced to my left picking up another book of poems. Sometimes fairytales are the escape in this world. Despite the magick in it. Despite many different beings exist, I still turned to these books for safety and depth in life.
"I do however wonder why much of this world succumbs to love inevitably, yet, love is the most emotion hated upon by many; The source of almost all discrimatory indoctrine. Most fascinatingly, love and hate, sharing the most similar root. As one can hate to love somone as much as they love to hate us all" said the book.
The thought swirled in my head. For many, hate is like breathing. I never understood how people like my father operated. Is it not easier to love others? What do we actually gain from hate? These thoughts swirl in my head, I am told not to concern myself with them but how can I not? Wouldn't the world be a much happier place if everyone was predisposed to loving each other unless provided legitimate cuase not to?
I thought back to what started it all. When I was but a boy, brought to this foreign land. The weather was hot, something I'm accustomed to but the humidity was the unbearable part. Rather ironic for an aquatic being. My father took me to the sea to keep me from losing control. Negotiating deals.
"Come son; look at the waters that will be your own" he had said putting his hand on my shoulder. He was a powerful muscular man. Someone who could do anything he wanted. I in comparison was small but volatile. What could a mere boy do that was so dangerous?
"Here! Take this token, it's a symbol of brotherhood. Look! I have a tattoo of it!" The young voice of a boy long gone, long dead rang in my head. I only recalled his beautiful markings because I regretted that time very much. Because I still have that red kraken lotus flower pendant.
I turned to resume my work. I immersed myself so deeply almost forgetting the pang of my head. I looked at the clock and some hours had passed. Finally almost time I could head out. I didn't have the energy to stay working late today. I got up stumbling out into the halls.
I was so tired but I just need to hold on a bit longer. I stopped just at the entrance of a hall. There was that boy, Abyss. He looked a bit lost. Fumbling with some things. He looked around and started walking towards me without seeing me. "Cute" I thought.
He has more to him than first impressions it seems. I stepped out in the path, letting him run into my frame. He looked so soft as he bounced back into me.