Chapter 23- Dreams And Reality
After gathering some energy, Rein finally stood up and looked around him. Even if he did escape the horde, there was no guarantee that they wouldn't find him eventually, or even worse, go back on their track and attack the base again.
'I've dragged them extremely far away. Unless they're extremely intelligent, they shouldn't be able to get back easily. This city is far too big for them to just navigate it that easily.' He thought to himself as he wiped his bloodied hands in his shredded clothes.
"Great… I smell like shit." Rein sighed as he looked at the state he was in. He was completely covered in blood from head to toe, with bruises and scratches all over his body. However, he was surprisingly relatively fine. His ability to survive came in handy at that moment.
"I need to get back before I end up fighting even more monsters." He muttered as he looked behind him and then started running.
Rein took a long path around the area before he approached the base from behind. He naturally found Undead and some weaker mutated monsters on the way, but they weren't that dangerous, so he was able to take care of them without much effort.
'I have gathered quite a bit of experience points from killing these things. I'm still far from leveling up, though.' He thought to himself. 'I need to fight stronger monsters soon.'
Luckily, everything had just started. Rein expected the Undead and the mutated monsters to grow stronger extremely fast in the coming days, so he wouldn't have any shortage of deadly beasts to slay.
'Lucky me.'
Eventually, Rein saw the base from afar, and it didn't seem to be attacked anymore. Exhaling a sigh of relief, he jumped over the barricades. The entire place was still in chaos, and everyone was on the very edge as they tried to get rid of a few rogue monsters that didn't follow the horde.
"Rein!"
At that moment, Rein saw Violet running toward him. Her eyes were wide and filled with worry.
"Oh my god… Are you ok? Did you hurt yourself anywhere? You're completely covered in blood." She said almost as if she was about to cry while trying to examine his body.
"It's not my blood. I'm fine." He said as he looked down. "Thanks for your help earlier. I really needed that."
"You don't need to thank me. I'm just happy I got there in time. I know you said not to follow you, but… My heart felt extremely uneasy… Glad I was right." She said with a relieved smile on her face.
"Rein…" Then, slowly, that smile faded as a serious look took over her. Violet then sighed. "Why do you want to die so badly, Rein? You promised me you wouldn't do reckless things like this. It hasn't even been an hour!"
"..."
"Why? Why don't you want to live?" Violet asked as she pleaded with her eyes. This wasn't the first time she had seen this side of Rein. A side so suicidal, she was surprised he hadn't taken his own life yet. But, every time there was a potentially deadly situation, he didn't seem to hesitate to throw his life for it without caring.
He didn't have any regard or fear for his own life beyond common sense. Violet had asked him this question before, countless times, but never gotten a response. She felt like her mind was in shambles. She was afraid Rein would truly kill himself, and she could never be able to stop it.
Rein stared deeply into her eyes, silently for long seconds. Even as the situation around them looked very grim, they stared into each other's eyes. Rein eventually exhaled before he ran his hand through his hair.
"There is nothing. I'm fine, and we got this done." He said as he turned around. "I'm going to wash my face."
"..."
"Oh, by the way, thank that idiot for me. His arrows definitely did something." Rein said and then walked away before Violet could even say anything. She stood there, dumbfounded and completely speechless.
Then, she clenched her fists. 'If you think being an ice block would make me stop trying, then you're very wrong. I will melt all that ice one day, you watch me, Rein.'
As much as it felt defeating to see him close up on himself, even though he seemed so close to telling her something, Violet only felt even more determined to break through those walls and see Rein's heart. She knew him, even if he didn't let it out himself. Rein wasn't just a cold and apathetic person like many thought; he felt like anyone else… Perhaps more than anyone else. That was why he decided, for one reason or another, to keep all of that hidden away.
Violet wasn't going to give up, not any time soon.
"Ungrateful bastard."
At that moment, Violet heard someone speak behind her. She didn't need to look behind her to know that it was Alex.
"We save his pathetic life, and instead of being grateful about it and appreciating your effort, he thinks this world revolves around him. Fuck how much I hate arrogant pricks."
"..." Violet didn't reply immediately as she stared ahead. "We don't know what he is thinking of… And he did thank me for that, and you too."
"..."
"He knows that it is reckless. But…"
The words he said earlier resonated in her head again.
'If there is a world where one of us has to die, it should be me.' She repeated in her head, and her heart ached greatly hearing that. The emptiness in his tone, the way he said it as if it were some sort of casual statement. It affected her deeply and made her realize how truly hurt Rein was…
'No human being should feel like that. Not you, Rein.'
***
Rein walked to the back and picked one of the bottles of water they stored there.
"Hey, you there. These bottles of water are only for-" A soldier saw him and tried to stop hIM. However, once Rein turned and stared at him, the man flinched and froze.
A feeling of overwhelming fear filled his heart as if he were staring at a demon.
"I really need to wash my face. I will tell your general about it." He said.
"..."
"I will take that as a yes. Enjoy your evening." Rein said as he left the stunned man behind.
Walking to a corner, Rein opened the bottle before he started pouring it over his head, watching the blood drop down to the ground. It was cold and unpleasant, but Rein didn't care.
This was oddly satisfying. He rubbed his face to get rid of the rest of the blood until he was relatively clean before he looked up, letting the water droplets fall from his face and hair.
He let the cold air hit his face as he stood there, basking in the feeling. Eventually, he opened his eyes and then looked down. 'At least my face doesn't feel sticky anymore.'
Then, he turned around, intending to head back. There was still so much to do, even though it had been a few hours… It felt like days.
'I never wanted sleep more than now.'