They were close enough now that she could have touched him by reaching out. Something in her chest tightened so sharply she barely suppressed a startled sound.
He reached out and took hold of her wrist.
Not roughly. Not urgently. Slowly, with deliberate care. She was still so startled that she nearly wrenched back in a reflexive defense.
Yurien looked at her hand. Her right hand, enclosed in silk gloves, with the demonic sword's mark hidden underneath. The color left Echi's face.
He didn't try to remove the glove. He was not the kind of person to commit that kind of impertinence. Even seizing her wrist had been, for him, an extraordinary thing to do.
He traced her hand lightly with his gaze, then brushed the pad of his thumb across her palm. Through the silk, he could feel the softness - not a callus anywhere. Her hand was small and delicate.
His hands were large and rough, entirely unlike his fine-featured face.
The hands of a knight who had fought for years. Echi's shoulders trembled. Even the slight contact sent a chill through her. Not only because of what was hidden under the glove.
His silver lashes lowered as he studied her hand. After a long moment, he said quietly:
"These are not the hands of someone who loves swords."
Unable to hold still any longer, Echi twisted her wrist free. He let her go without resistance.
His blue eyes stayed on her.
"I'll ask again. Why do you want to become a knight?"
She pressed her lips together. What should she say? She had prepared for many situations on her way to Azenka. She had not prepared for this - for him, standing in front of her, asking her directly.
If he knew, he would hate her. If he didn't, none of this mattered. Without his memories, there was no connection between them to speak of.
That was how she had thought about it. She had never imagined he would remember seeing her at a banquet and then ask her, calmly and simply, why she had come here.
She looked up at him with completely lost eyes. He waited, patient and still.
His gaze felt familiar in a way she had no right to find comforting. And yet it was - like looking into still water.
She thought of his eyes through the iron bars, waiting for her to win. The past was erased, but she remembered it. She didn't want to stack lies against him.
She opened her mouth.
"I want to be happy."
"..."
"It may sound strange. But I mean it."
She had half-expected him to ask how becoming a knight was supposed to produce happiness, or what lay behind such an odd answer. He didn't ask. He only looked at her, without looking away.
"I see."
She was afraid to ask whether he truly did. The subject was too much for her right now. She cast around for something else.
"What brings you here?"
"What brings you here? On your first day."
To see the fountain. To see with her own eyes that what she had done was truly gone.
She couldn't say that. She made something up.
"…I was just walking. I wandered here."
Yurien smiled - genuinely, just slightly. She was noticing that he smiled more easily than she had imagined. She had never known.
Every expression of his she could recall was something else: calm, or pitying, or unreadable, or the last one that she could not name.
"Same reason as you."
"You were out walking?"
"…Yes."
It felt too convenient. This square, of all places. On the night she had been named his squire. Could it truly be coincidence? Did he genuinely have no memories?
There was no way to find out.
Probing was too dangerous. Echi looked up at him and said:
"I heard that you named me as your squire."
A squire. Someone who follows and serves a knight. Who guards their back. Who carries their burdens and bears witness to their work. Who receives skill and experience in return. A person a knight must be able to trust completely.
He would not name someone in that role on a whim - certainly not on the day they arrived, without a word having passed between them.
Unless he had some other purpose.
Was there a purpose she was missing?
"Why did you name me as your squire?"
"Because you..."
He stopped. Swallowed whatever he had started to say. His expression shifted to something unreadable, quiet and intent. A long silence.
Then:
"Cadet Echinacea. May I challenge you to a duel?"
"A duel?"
"I want to cross swords with you."
Out of nowhere. And his tone was careful - almost tentative. He could have issued a command. Given the difference in their standings, it would have been more typical for her to be the one asking him for the privilege of sparring. Instead he was asking her.
"I..."
She took an involuntary step back.
She absolutely did not want to cross swords with him. Yurien was the strongest knight she knew, the most formidable Giosa owner she had ever faced.
She had no confidence she could spar with him without revealing something she shouldn't. And yet she could hardly refuse, in a situation where she should theoretically be thrilled at the offer.
"Not immediately. Whenever you feel ready."
He read her hesitation and added it gently. Then he pushed his hood back. Silver hair fell loose, catching the full light of the street lamp. In that soft glow he looked almost haloed.
"Why I chose you as my squire, I'll answer that after we spar."
He stepped forward and settled his cloak over her shoulders. Her dress was thin, cut for spring, leaving her arms bare. The dark blue hooded cloak fell around her, and he adjusted the hem with quiet, careful hands.
"The night is cool. Let's keep this walk short, Cadet Echinacea."
He drew his hands back and turned away.
He moved through the square - his silver hair drawing glances, people recognizing the commander and bowing slightly, him returning each with a small nod - and then he was gone.
Echi stood still until he was out of sight.
[What is that man thinking? RanGiosa chose a very strange owner.]
The sword pulled her out of her stillness. She gripped the cloak against her shoulders. Her fingertips were not steady.
Did he remember the erased past? Why had he recognized her from a banquet months ago? Why name her his squire? Why challenge her to a duel? What was he doing right now, walking away?
She understood none of it. The only thing she knew with any certainty, in that moment, was:
The warmth of the cloak around her shoulders.
Unexpected. Unasked for. It spread from her shoulders into her chest and stayed there. And like everything else about him, the meaning of it was beyond her.
* * *
That night, Echi didn't have a nightmare.
She had a strange dream instead.
She was in the underground prison of Azenka Castle. Familiar - the very cell where she had been confined.
Shackles on her wrists and ankles, but she wasn't struggling. Her body was her own. Not the sword's.
Light leaked through the cracks of the double-locked iron door. She sat watching it, and then heard footsteps from beyond - and knew without being able to explain it that they were his. Yurien was coming.
She stood. The shackles on her wrists and ankles shattered. Her hands and feet felt weightless. She went to the door and opened it.
He was on the other side, silhouetted against the light, his face lost in the backglow. She looked up at him and smiled.
"Thank you for waiting for me."
That was where it ended.
Echi opened her eyes and lay still, looking at the ceiling. Not a nightmare - but not without its ache either. She breathed out slowly and sat up.
At the academy there were no classes, so mornings were autonomous except for squire duty. No need to rise early. But her roommate had already gone.
Alice, fresh from the bath, was in thin shirt and trousers with water still beading on her skin. She stiffened when she noticed Echi awake.
When Echi had returned the previous night, Alice had been in the room. She'd seen Echi in the large cloak - unmistakably a man's - and had said nothing. She had bitten her tongue about that, recalling the duel.
Alice's gaze traveled now to Echi's hands. White gloves, silk ones - not for training, not for riding, clearly not functional. Worn even while sleeping.
Alice's expression held many unspoken things, but she turned away without saying any of them.
Then she seemed to trip on something, and stopped. She bent down and picked it up with a frown.
"I said I wouldn't pry - but this is a bit much."
She tossed it onto Echi's bed. The appointment letter - it must have been left open after Echi read it and never put away. Alice wiped her chin dry with the back of her hand and glanced at Echi with controlled irritation.
"Did you leave it out to show off? I already know you've been made the Commander's squire."
Without waiting for a response, she grabbed her cadet jacket and sword and walked out.
Echi had half-expected the door to slam. It didn't.