Chapter 172: Resolve to Die, Reason to Live (9)
They were Azar and Roxa.
I glanced over Abel’s back and patted my chest in relief. I could assume that they had wounded Somnifer critically and escaped, but I had my doubts that perhaps something may have happened to Roxa’s wellbeing since I could not see him in the future.
Though I had casted continuous nullification, it seemed that the abilities were of no use within Orcus’ ‘trials’…
“Where were ye keeping hidden up until now?!”
“What in the world is all this, my lord? And why is the Grand priest in such a mess?”
The two of them approached hastily, saying something in turns.
Abel floundered panicking. “Ah well the thing is…”
Looking at Abel waving his hand and stuttering, Azar and Roxa blinked and stared at him. They seemed to be confused as well seeing the reaction so different from Hades.
“Abel, what happened?” I asked in order to resolve the misunderstanding. As expected, both Azar and Roxa’s eyes opened wide.
“This is the Childe?”
“What did ye say?!”
“Ah, yes. This happened when I drank the potion Roxa gave me.”
“Ehhhh?!”
Roxa freaked out as if he was about to fall on his back.
Looking dumbfounded, Azar opened his mouth a few times and spoke.
“W-was it a potion that makes you become my lord?”
“Ya think?! If it had such an effect, I would have drunk it long before!”
Roxa stepped closer and held Abel by his cheeks and turned here and there to look closely and spoke.
“Tis a potion ter make will into reality. Did ye wish ter become Hades Louvremont or some’n?”
“No, now that I look closely, he is slightly different. His eyes look softer and his chin looks rounder …”
Azar butted in. Roxa looked over at Abel and nodded.
“Me days, He really looks like da milder version o’ Hades Louvremont. Childe, what has happened?”
“Ah, a magical beast that we thought was dead woke up. The situation was quite dangerous and I recalled the potion Roxa had given me…”
“An’ wot were ye thinking while taking it?”
“I don’t remember exactly…” Abel spoke as he raised the sword in his hand. “…but I think I wished that I could lift this. I could not lift it up since I was so small.”
“Eh? Why were ye thinking o’ using da sword fer? If ye jus’ burned everything like how His Grace does…”
“No, I don’t know if it was the magical beast’s doing or not but I couldn’t use my abilities either the moment I entered the forest. If I could, do you think I would have danced around with a sword myself?” Azar interrupted. Abel nodded.
“Yes, me and mother too, we could not use any power as if mana had disappeared altogether.”
“Hiee! Fer real? How are we ter survive dis hellish place without even using our abilities? No, I grew ye a new arm though. I dinna feel anything.”
“Was your arm broken, Azar?!”
“Not jus’ broken, he down right chopped it off.”
“Wh-wha…”
Looking at the two conversing like fools, Azar shook his head. “That was right after the forest disappeared, after I slayed the beast. I can also feel mana running now too.”
“Ah!”
I recalled a fact I forgot about as well after hearing what Azar said.
Indeed, after the illusion of the forest was broken, I could sense the mana running inside me once more.
I immediately healed the wound on Michael’s legs and fixed back his breaking mind.
Finally, Michael’s face stopped enduring pain and calmed down.
It was fortunate yet devastating.
“It seems that… the ‘trials’ of Orcus that Shesep mentioned don’t allow us to use our abilities at all.”
Hearing my words, everyone was lost for words with their faces dark.
Where the forest disappeared, only a dried wilderness remained left.
Horizon with no end in sight.
When Roxa turned with a slight twist of the body, unblocking my field of vision, there was a black portal close by.
It seemed to be the gate to the next trial…
The fact that we must jump into another not-so-easy trial where we wouldn’t even be able to use our abilities, made us all fall silent.
“Still, that was a rather useful potion given that it came from some stupid junkie. Does this mean your childhood days are over, childe?”
Perhaps trying to lighten up the heavy mood, he asked Abel with worries on his face.
Roxa shook his head.
“Ye are the fool here. It’s obvious dat he would revert when da potion wears off.”
“Ah…”
Not thinking that far, Abel had a troubled look on his face.
“Then we should move on when the potion is still working…”
Abel urged me as he turned to look at me.
It was at that moment Michael woke up.
“Grand priest!” Deborah shouted. She had been sitting beside me crying up until now.
His blue eyes appeared under his eyelids as he opened them.
“Are you alright? Can you get a hold of yourself?”
He raised himself up with an aloof look on his face.
“I…”
“Don’t you feel hurt anywhere?”
Staring closely at me as I asked desperately, Michael smirked and looked up at Abel.
“I owe you one, Childe.”
“No…no, it’s okay.”
Michael looked back at me and spoke.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“I remembered.”
“…What?”
“Memories from the first life.”
I froze.
Memories of first life. That had a significant meaning for us. It was the horrifying memory of committing murder for the first time.
Though it was true that Michael, no, Ignis had committed sin, this was no time to collapse in guilt.
I soothed him.
“It’s not just you who is a sinner. I’m one too. Let’s not think about such things for now…”
“No,” Michael smiled at himself cynically and stared at me. “Perhaps because it’s been so long, or because I don’t want to recall, I’ve been living forgetting about it…”
“…”
“…but finally, I remembered.”
He raised himself up. For some reason his endearing face was distorted with pain and rage.
“Right.”
“…”
“I loved her more than I did my own life. So, there was no way… I would have done that.”
No way…
For a moment, I was confused. Michael’s smile as he turned to look at me was heartbreaking.
-I’ve, I’ve… I’ve ended up killing her. I have…
From what I could remember of Michael — that is, Ignis — from my first life, he came to me and Procreathor with a face full of confusion and cried for seven days and nights.
I hadn’t seen Ignis kill his lover in person. Though Procreathor had said he remembers that time, he hadn’t seen it himself either.
Looking at Michael falling asleep from exhausting himself by crying too much, Procreathor looked to be in pain.
-I heard that he had shoved his lover off the cliff with his own hands since her feelings for him had changed. Father was in pain. He said he would be punishing Ignis.
At the time, I could barely face Ignis, feeling horrified by that. Though that was Ignis’ first murder, it was also the first murder committed by a ‘human.’
“What do you mean? Just what happened in the memories you saw? Be a little more, specific.”
The raging sense of disgust made me feel painful that he was my brother. And so I had never asked even once.
Why did he do it?
But maybe…
“Neither you, nor I, have ever been sinners.”
Michael no longer answered and stepped towards the portal with no hesitation.
“It was Gaionia who committed crime out of ‘love’. I,”
He gritted his teeth as he turned to look at me as he was about to enter the portal.
“Must do it. That monster, our father.”
It was a scary face that I have never seen before.
“I must kill him.”
* * *
-That monster,
-Our father.
-I must kill him.
Ignis’, his child’s voice rang clearly in his ears. A voice he could barely hear since he was sealed away in Orcus.
The Dragon god, Gaionia had been lying with his eyes shut for the longest time as if in death. His eyelids trembled slowly and started to open.
Under long eyelashes, the vertically-slit golden eyes trembled in pain.
[Why do you hate your father so, when I have birthed you, made you move and speak, love and rage?]
It was a will that wouldn’t even have reached him if not for a certain level of hatred.
How can the child he created with love harbor such blasphemous thoughts?
[Where have I gone wrong?]
[Making you a lover?]
[Giving that child free will?]
[Just where…]
Gaionia was a very lonely being.
He founded his world in the vast space, created ponds that never dried and boundless fields, but his loneliness did not disappear.
The three children that saved him from the ruthless loneliness, he loved them dearly.
He thought that he would even be able to give his own life for the children.
[I’m sorry.]
[I no longer love you.]
When Ignis’ lover announced her farewell to Ignis. Gaionia had seen everything while hidden with an indifferent face.
He was an emotionless being, unlike humans. And so, this was the first rage he had ever felt.
Not towards Ignis, but to Ignis’ lover.
‘How dare she… why would something like her be…?’
He wasn’t willing when his children pleaded with him to create other humans, saying that they were ‘lonely’.
He only did as they wished because he loved his children, because he was willing to grant anything they wished.
Though they were all humans, they were never the same for Gaionia. From the start, they were never the same.
Ignis.
The child who had a fiery temper, but was at heart, more tender than anyone. That odd contrast made him a lovely child.
-Father, I would like a lover too. Mere beasts make love and prosper, why can’t I?
He did as Ignis wished and Ignis was happy.
The child said he would even sacrifice his own life for the sake of his lover, like a habit of speech.
However, the being that received the pitiful child’s love all to herself had dared to betray her lover.
-Alright. Alright, so please…
-I’m sorry. So so sorry.
-It’s dangerous. It’s dangerous over there so or now, for now, you should come here.
The emotions of the two could be felt very clearly by their creator Gaionia. There was no emotion of love left in Ignis’ lover. On the contrary, Ignis was still burning up. Like fire.
…As though he would forgive the unfaithful lover even if she betrays him and runs off right away.
‘She is a being that doesn’t suit my poor Ignis.’
Gaionia could not accept the lover trying to go back to Ignis in tears. He found her reprehensible that she has no feelings left for his child to love him again.
Gaionia drew his powers and flicked his hand once.
It was not a difficult thing for Gaionia to do, to take back the life of the human he made himself.
-Please come here. I understand everything, so please…ah!
At that instant, the cliff where Ignis’ lover stood broke down and fell with the helplessly shaking ground beneath her.
Ignis wouldn’t have known, but all of it… was not a coincidence.
-Agh!! No!!