Her heels struck the marble floor in sharp, rapid beats—each step faster than the last, as if she could outrun the humiliation chasing her.
"…Did you see her face?"
"…I thought she'd scream."
"…Pathetic!"
Her jaw tightened.
Of course, they were talking.
They always talked...
She pushed through the final set of doors. Cold air hit her like a slap, giving her a short reprieve from the turmoil inside.
She stopped.
Just--- stopped!
Her shoulders rose with a slow inhale---
Then fell...
Why?
Why had I come back to this moment?
The wind blew through her hair, luring her gaze towards the skies above. The moon stood high above the castle's peaks, the stars shimmering like diamonds against the dark canvas.
"Beautiful..."
Maybe there was still hope ahead? Maybe if the world were still this beautiful and peaceful, it would be something worth saving?
The wind blew again, and she shivered from the cold, her hands clasping the fabric at her chest...
Why?
"Why did nothing change?"
She asked herself that question over and over again as she headed into the carriage that took her home. The carriage was luxurious and grand, a testimony to the huge inheritance her father had left her.
Lady Seraphina von Eidelweiss was a rich noble who lost her father at a young age. The blow was devastating for the young girl, who had been adored and loved by her father. However, her sorrows didn't end there...
Shortly after his death, her mother left her to be with her new husband, and Sera barely saw her mother after that. She'd been a very lonely child and later a very angry teen. And as even more time went by, she turned into a vile, greedy, and selfish young woman.
Which had been her doom in a different life...
The house stood looming before her, the only people there to greet her were the confused staff, who hadn't expected her back and were scrambling to help her. She moved automatically until she was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling.
And finally, she felt like she could breathe.
"How did I end up back here?" She sighed, turning in bed and staring out the window…
Hi there!
My name is Seraphina von Eidelweiss, and I've been reborn!
In my first life – after being brutally rejected by the love of my life – I did throw a fit just like everyone expected. I called Elena all kinds of horrible names, throwing it in her face that she's an orphan and not worthy to be queen. Leo, my only childhood friend and ex-fiance, had been furious and had thrown me out of the ball.
I'd been furious!
Back then, I'd concocted all kinds of horrible way so get back at Elena, sure that all of this was somehow her fault. I used everything available to me to make her life miserable. And when Leo was away to deal with demon outbreaks and the crystal stabilizing crises, I had arranged for her to be kidnapped.
I didn't want her hurt…
I just wanted her out of the way!
Luckily, Leo had been able to save her in the nick of time, and I was punished for my crimes. I'd been thrown in the dampest, darkest corner of the castle's dungeon.
That--- changed me…
Not the fact that I finally faced consequences for my actions – I do believe in karma on some level. But day after day, the guards would come into my cell and whip me until my body was a mangled mess. They would call me names, strip away my clothes, and leave me hungry and shivering at the bottom of a freezing cell.
Gone were all my privileges...
The dresses.
The food...
Everything!
Even my beautiful face was gone...
And lying there on a cold, unforgiving floor – my eyes swollen shut, my body aching and burning with welts and infected wounds – I finally had an epiphany.
What I'd always wanted – more than anything in my life – was happiness!
I wanted to live a happy life!
The kind of life I saw people have all the time. Girls smiling, men laughing, children playing--- I wanted that for myself. So if I saw someone being happy in a new dress, I naturally wanted a new dress. If someone received a gift that made them happy, I wanted that gift, chasing that happiness for myself. I wanted to be happy and have a fulfilling life.
And of course, the ultimate happiness was marriage. Back then, I believed that if I married Leo – if I became queen and had everything I pointed to – I would finally be happy.
Because that's how it always went…
Lying on a shaking ground, beaten and humiliated to the point that my spirit was broken, I realized that I would never be happy the way I was now.
Suddenly, the walls crumbled, and I was buried in an avalanche of rubble. There, in my final moments, I made a promise to myself:
If I were ever given a second chance, I would find a way to live a truly happy life...
That was when I was reborn the first time!
Back at the exact point where King Leopold Reinhart canceled our engagement in front of all of noble society to see.
And seriously!
I didn't mind him canceling our engagement, but did he have to make it this public?!
Every time I felt the pain of rejection as fresh and humiliating as the first time it happened. But this time, I accepted immediately, determined to change my life and keep the promise I'd made. I actually remained friends with Leo in this life and took time to get to know Elena – which is why I know she's a saint of a woman.
Well, I guess we can't all be perfect…
I threw myself into trying to understand this world better and gain the power to help Leo and Elena more. I'd known about the looming war back in my previous life. Demon outbreaks plagued the border villages and the convoys, with stabilizing crystals being attacked and destroyed by rogue demon factions.
And the Demon Lord did nothing to stop them!
I tried to use my knowledge from my previous life to help Leo stop these attacks and save lives. I learned all I could about the demons and their lands – Angelista – and to better understand why there was a conflict in the first place. I didn't understand at first, but Elena was patient with me and taught me all about it.
Crystals!
It all came down to crystals! They were mined in the mountains of Angelista and helped power a lot of our weapons and engines, like cars and planes. Additionally, only weapons powered by these stabilizing crystals could kill a berserker demon.
And with growing demon outbreaks, these crystals were invaluable!
However, these crystals were also crucial for the demons to stabilize their mana. You see, unlike humans, demons are born with magic; the amount of mana flow in their blood determines their magical strength. And the stronger their mana, the more crystals they needed to stabilize it. If they didn't have these crystals, they would go berserk, causing a demon outbreak.
The race for the crystals fueled the war!
I did everything in my power to help my friends. And surprisingly, I found that I was happy. Seeing my friends laugh gave me a sense of peace and joy I'd never felt before.
And I wanted these moments to last forever...
But the war broke out anyway, and during an especially brutal attack, I found myself at the end of a sword, jumping in to save Elena. This time, as my life slipped away, I found that I couldn't be angry at how I'd lived my second life. I'd been happier than I'd ever been before, and while I still wanted to do more with my life, I wasn't angry at how it ended…
But yet again, I was reborn!
Confused, I stared at my friends as Leo once again annulled our engagement. Shocked, I laughed, asking if this was real or some cruel joke. Yeah, not my finest moment all things considered, but I honestly didn't know any better at the time.
That time, I also gracefully bowed out and went home – much like I did this time – wondering if I "did something wrong"? Hadn't I lived my life the way I'd supposed to? Was being happy not the point of my life? Maybe I needed to apply myself differently, than just helping my friends?
Was I supposed to stop the murder of Elena?
In my first reborn life, I'd thrown myself into helping Leo. I'd done everything in my power to predict demon outbreaks, when convoys would be attacked, and where loot was reclaimed.
And in the end, Elena had suffered...
I assumed that once the demon had killed me, he'd moved straight on to Elena. No, I was actually sure of it, as the last thing I saw was the demon facing her and---
Determined to be of help to both of my friends, I'd thrown myself into learning self-defense, the art of fencing, and archery. I traveled the world, sending anonymous notes to Leo and Elena, wishing them well and love in every note.
After traveling for a long while, I picked up all kinds of useful skills, like knife-throwing and some basic medicine. My body was tired and reshaped to the point I almost looked like a man. Even my clothes had to be altered so I could move more freely and hide my weapons.
And once more, I found that my life was filled with joy and fulfillment…
I found that even with my vast knowledge, I knew so little; it was a truly humbling experience. My instructors didn't hold back in whipping me into shape. They didn't care that I was a woman, a noble, or even the fact that I was human. They were demons, beast folk, and elves, all of them pushing me to be the best I could be to protect the people I loved.
Those were truly happy days.
That I could become stronger and still help my friends from afar…
But the bliss didn't last!
One night, I was ambushed, drugged, and kidnapped. Before I knew what was going on, I was back in Londermany, only moments before the biggest demon outbreak of the war.
The outbreak that had killed me twice now!
And this time – apparently – wouldn't be any different!
I fought to get free and rush to save my friend, successfully saving her and reuniting her with her beloved Leo. And just like that, the building we stood under collapsed. At the last second, I managed to push them out of the way--- and found myself buried!
Once more, I felt my life slip away, watching as Leo and Elena held each other. I was happy to see them together again, sure that this time I'd lived my life happily--- and I died!
Which brought us to tonight – again!
Giving up on sleep, Sera let out a sigh as she pushed off her duvet and stood. With steps she knew all too well, she walked to her window, opening it and walking out onto the balcony, hoping to calm the storm in her head.
But nothing could...
In roughly two years, she was going to die – a fate that seemed to be impossible to escape. And she would return to this horrible, humiliating moment again.
How did she break the loop?
"First time, I ruin everything," I said to myself, lifting one finger to indicate her first life.
"Second time, I tried to fix everything by helping Leo with the outbreaks and the crystals."
Another finger raised.
"Third time, I sacrificed my life to save theirs."
A third finger--- before her hand dropped, because---
"...No matter what, I die!"
Every single time…
"What am I missing?"
A gust of wind pulled at her clothes and hair, forcing her to put her hand up to hold the hair away from her face. Turning so she wouldn't freeze, she was now faced with the mountains of Angelista.
Dark.
Ominous...
And there, there was the reason why she kept dying. Once the shipments of those crystals reached a critical point, the war would break out. The demons would attack, and no matter what she did to prevent it, her friends would die---
Wait!
Was that the answer?!
She once more looked to the mountains, seeing them in a clear new light. Her lips curled, her eyes sharpened, burning with something new
Something dangerous...
"Maybe I've been solving the wrong problem this whole time..."
She took a step forward.
"If I want to live—"
Another step.
"—if I want a happy life—"
Another...
"Then I need to stop the war from ever breaking out!"
Her smile turned sharp.
Decisive!
"Watch out, you lazy good-for-nothing, Demon Lord!"
She called into the night, her heart filled with new fire and determination. Ready to break the loop that kept her from living the happy life she so desperately wanted.
I'm coming for you next!
Which is how I ended up at the demon's castle...
***
Inside the dark castle, every demon present was looking to the far end of the room, where a massive throne rose above them. It was carved from ancient, black stone – a stark contrast to the young, fair man sitting on it.
His white hair shimmered as he moved, looking like silver as it caught the moonlight. His wings were folded over his shoulder like a royal robe, his fingers and ears adorned with countless pieces of jewelry. His striking gold eyes lazily took in the herald demon who just delivered him some---
Well, something different!
He sat still, as everyone there held their breath, wondering what their lord would do now…
Still.
Silent.
Watching...
Then---
His lips curved.
Not quite a smile.
Not quite human.
"…How interesting."
His voice echoed through the hall.
Low.
Amused.
Dangerous...
"Bring her to me!"