The train ride back home felt like it lasted forever. Meiying sat by the window, watching the scenery blur past green fields, small villages, the occasional truck rumbling by on the road below, but she didn't really see any of it. Her mind was stuck back at Yue Hua Group, in that big office on the top floor, replaying that kiss over and over again.
Every time she thought about it, her cheeks would heat up, and she'd have to fight the urge to touch her lips, like she could still feel him there. It was scary how much she'd liked it. It was scary how much her body had responded to him, even when her brain was screaming that it was wrong.
She kept telling herself she was just confused. She was stressed out about the money, about the land, about everything. That's all it was. She wasn't actually falling for Li Yuhan. She couldn't be. She loved Weiliang. She loved the life they had planned. That kiss was just a mistake. A moment of weakness. That's all.
But saying it in her head didn't make it feel true.
When she finally got off the train at her hometown station, the air smelled like rain and damp earth, and it felt like a slap in the face waking her up to where she actually belonged. Weiliang was there, just like he said he would be, leaning against his old car, waiting for her. As soon as he saw her, he smiled and waved, and her heart twisted with guilt.
He looked so happy to see her. So trusting.
"Hey!" he said, walking over and taking her bag from her before she could even protest. "How'd it go? Did you sign everything at Yue Hua Group?"
Meiying forced a smile, trying to make it look as real as possible. "Yeah. Yeah, I did. It's all done. He's going to transfer the money soon."
"That's awesome!" Weiliang opened the car door for her. "I knew it would work out. See? I told you he was reasonable. Now you can stop worrying so much."
He got in the driver's seat and started the car, humming a little tune as they drove out of the station parking lot. Meiying sat there, staring at his profile, feeling like the worst person in the world. He was so happy for her, so relieved that her problems were solved, and she was sitting there carrying this huge secret that felt like it was going to burst out of her chest.
"Are you okay?" Weiliang asked suddenly, glancing over at her. "You're really quiet. And you look tired. Did the trip wear you out? Going all the way to the city and back in one day is a lot."
"Yeah, a little," Meiying lied, looking down at her hands in her lap. "It was just a long day. And I didn't sleep much last night, I guess."
"Well, we'll get you home, and you can rest," Weiliang said, reaching over and squeezing her hand. His hand was warm and calloused from working, and it felt familiar and safe. But when he touched her, all she could think about was Yuhan's hands on her waist, pulling her close outside his office.
She pulled her hand back slightly, just a little, and saw Weiliang frown a tiny bit. She hated that she did it, but she couldn't help it. She felt like she'd contaminated herself somehow, like she didn't deserve his touch right now.
"I'm just tired," she said again, hoping he'd buy it.
Weiliang didn't say anything else, but she could feel him looking at her every now and then, like he was trying to figure something out. She just stared out the window, wishing she could disappear into the passing scenery.
When they got to her house, Weiliang carried her bag inside. "Do you want me to stay and make you some dinner?" he asked. "Or do you just want to be alone?"
Meiying shook her head. "I think I just want to sleep, honestly. But thanks, Weiliang. You're the best."
She stood on tiptoe and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. It felt mechanical. It felt wrong. She used to love kissing him, even just a little peck like that. But now, it felt like she was going through the motions.
Weiliang looked at her for a second, then nodded. "Okay. Get some rest. I'll come by tomorrow morning, okay? We can go get breakfast or something."
"Okay," she said. "See you tomorrow."
He left, and Meiying closed the door behind him, leaning against it as soon as he was gone. She let out a long breath, like she'd been holding it in since she left Yue Hua Group. The house was quiet. Too quiet.
She walked into her bedroom and dropped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. What was she going to do? How was she supposed to go back to normal now? How was she supposed to look Weiliang in the eye and act like everything was the same?
She tried to sleep, but she couldn't. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Yuhan. She saw the way he looked at her, the way his eyes darkened when he kissed her. She heard his voice, saying, "I don't think you've forgotten about that day either, have you?"
He was right. She hadn't forgotten. And she didn't think she ever would.
The next few days were a blur. Meiying tried her best to act normal. She went to the market, she helped Auntie Wang at the shop, she spent time with Weiliang. But it was like she was wearing a mask. She was smiling, she was talking, she was doing all the things she usually did, but it didn't feel real. It felt like she was watching herself from far away.
Weiliang definitely noticed something was off. She could see it in the way he looked at her, the way he'd ask if she was okay every five minutes.
"Meiying, seriously, what's going on?" he asked one afternoon when they were sitting in the town square, eating ice cream. "You've been like a ghost for days. You barely talk, you barely eat. Did something happen at Yue Hua Group? Did that guy do something to you?"
"No! No, nothing happened," Meiying said quickly, stabbing her spoon into her melting ice cream. "I told you, I'm just tired. It's been a lot, you know? With Dad, and the debt, and selling the land. It's just… a lot to process."
Weiliang stared at her for a long time, his eyes searching hers. "Is that really it?" he asked. "Because it feels like more than that. It feels like… like you're somewhere else. Like you're not really here with me."
Meiying's heart skipped a beat. Could he tell? Could he somehow know what she'd done?
"I am here," she said, trying to sound firm, but her voice wavered. "I'm just stressed, Weiliang. Give me a break, okay? I'll be fine. I just need a little time."
Weiliang sighed, looking frustrated and worried. "Okay. Okay, I'm sorry. I just… I miss you. I miss the old you."
His words hurt more than anything else he could have said. Because she missed the old her too. She missed the girl who didn't have secrets, the girl who was happy and didn't feel like her heart was being pulled in two different directions.
"I'm right here," she whispered, but she knew it wasn't enough.
That night, she lay in bed, staring at her phone. She hadn't heard from Yuhan since she left his office. No texts, no calls. Part of her was relieved she didn't know what she'd say to him if he contacted her. But another part of her, another part of her, was waiting. She hated herself for it, but she was.
She rolled over, burying her face in her pillow. Stop it, she told herself. Stop thinking about him. He's not part of your life. He's just the guy who bought your land. That's it.
But it wasn't just that. And she knew it. That kiss had changed everything. It had opened a door in her heart that she couldn't close again, no matter how hard she tried. She had a feeling that no matter how much she tried to pretend otherwise, things were never going to go back to the way they were.