In the end, we make camp in an abandoned shopping mall. Given the associated cliches, I'm ready for the place to be crawling with undead - but they turn out to have cleared out quite some time ago. Of course, the whole mall has still been thoroughly destroyed. A few lucky finds of bottled water aside, any hopes of finding, say, an intact mattress, or food, were in vain.
"Guess we can't get too lucky, huh?" I mutter with a wry smile as we settle into a burned-out clothing store.
"Well, if you're starving, I can go catch some skeletons and we can make some bone broth or something." says Mordred with a shrug.
"There's so much wrong there that I don't know where to begin…" I mumble.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" The saber says with a laugh. "I'm uncivilized, but I'm not that bad."
Mordred stretches, and his armor dematerializes in a cloud of blue lights, leaving behind a set of red underclothes. A red loincloth, previously worn under the Saber's armor, and a red chest binding. For her breasts. Because Mordred is a woman.
"...So you were a girl after all," I mumble.
"Oi, who are you calling a little girl!? I'll kill you."
"No, he didn't say 'little'..." Mash says.
"I'm more confused that you didn't correct us…" I mutter. "We've been calling you a guy this whole time."
"Eh? Just how long do you think I lived as a man? You think I'm gonna get all pissy 'cause you're treating me like everyone treated me in life?" She says, rolling her eyes.
"Eh… well I guess that's understandable." I reply.
Cu wanders over at around this point. He raises an eyebrow at Mordred, but doesn't comment further. "I've set up some basic defensive runes, so it should be safe for you guys to get some sleep. I, on the other hand, need to prepare some more runes."
"Thanks, Caster." I say. "Any clue where Hanam went?"
"Assassin wanted to run a few errands. That demon of his apparently didn't pick up after himself, so he has to go track down some of his misplaced dirks. He's down to five or so, now." He replies. "Also, he wanted to see if he could figure out where Lancer ran off to. If he can make sure she's not gonna be hanging out with Saber and Archer, that'll take some stress off of us."
...What the hell!? "He'll get killed! We have to-!"
"Relax, kid. Assassin's smart enough not to pick a head-on fight with another servant, especially with his arm missing." Caster says with a chuckle. "Besides, he's got strong presence concealment. He could probably dance around in Saber's face and she wouldn't notice."
"...Fine." I say, sighing. "I'm gonna yell at you if he dies, though."
"Yeah, yeah. Have some faith in your servant, would you? You'd never survive a grail war acting like that."
***
There's no sunlight when morning arrives. The sky is still blanketed with smoke, and dark red light is the only thing visible - that and the still blazing fires in some parts of the ruined city.
Still, I need to do my best today as well! To overcome every obstacle, and save the world or whatever! And that means..!
"...I need to start the day right! Mash-tan, Mordred, it's time! For! Radio Calisthenics!"
"Radio caliwhat now?" Says the knight.
"Eh? You mean the daily Japanese exercise broadcast, Senpai?"
"Mm, mm, that's right!" I say. "It's important to get your daily stretches and muscle training done, every day!"
"Oh, so it's just warmups, then. Jeez, say it plainly, instead of using weird giant words!"
"But do you really think we'll be able to get a signal, Senpai?" Mash asks.
"Heh! Don't worry! One of my secret abilities… I have the entire routine memorized!" I say, flashing a thumbs up. "So just follow my lead!"
"Wow! That's amazing, senpai!"
"...No it's really not." I mutter, scratching the back of my head.
***
...Calisthenics still isn't the same without Emilia-tan, huh? According to the Old Man I've still got two-and-a-half years to go… which can be a hell of a long time with [Return by Death].
Well, I started these exercises knowing she wasn't present. And I know that Emilia wouldn't want me to give into despair just from her absence. So let's finish strong, for her sake!
"And then raise your arms to the sky, and shout 'victory'!" I conclude.
"V-victory!" "Victory!" "Victory!" shout Mash, Mordred, and-
"Eh, Caster, when did you join us?" I ask the blue haired man.
"Hm? A few minutes ago. I finally finished the last of my rune array, so I decided to hop in." He says. Hang on, he was up all night and he just finished!? Runes are hard, huh?
"Not that your bizarre ritual wasn't entertaining," says Director Animusphere as she pops into existence nearby. She's covered in bandages, and I can clearly see the back of a medical chair behind her, and an IV drip off to her right. "But we don't have time to waste here. Remember, you don't have any food supplies, and if we have to rayshift you out of there it may take months, or even a year before we can get UN approval to send people in again!"
"Wait, were you able to get in touch with the outside world!?" I exclaim.
"...No, communications still seem to be malfunctioning. Even the magical communications with the Clock Tower and Atlas Academy are malfunctioning. We managed to get a response from the Wandering Sea, but it just came back as garbled nonsense per usual."
"Mm. Even the Magi, huh..?" I mutter. "Well, we'll be heading out as soon as Hanam is back, so for now we're just killing time."
"And when will he be back!?" The director yells.
"Eh? How should I know?"
"Use your telepathy! He's your Servant, right!?" She screeches.
"Ah, come to think of that, there was an ability like that, wasn't there?" I mutter.
"Senpai, it's not healthy for her to raise her blood pressure right now, so please stop!"