Exams were already around the corner and the whole faculty had shifted into a quiet kind of panic.
Except Duan, who couldn't stop thinking about a certain person.
He was a decent student with decent grades so Dom and Fah weren't particularly worried about leaving him to his own devices. But the conversation he'd overheard at the cafeteria was still playing on a loop in the back of his head. He'd promised himself it wouldn't affect him and he'd meant it. He just hadn't fully succeeded yet.
He'd given Jun some space in the meantime. Not because he was backing off but because he meant everything he said about not wanting to add to his stress. He still checked on him though — snacks mostly, dropped off through Jet. Sometimes Jet accepted them on his behalf. Sometimes he didn't.
Every morning and every night Duan opened Jun's chat and typed something. Nothing long. Just enough to say he was still there. Jun never replied. But he never stopped reading them either and honestly that was enough to keep Duan going.
---
It was a Tuesday afternoon when Duan decided he'd given enough space. If he stayed away too long Jun might think he wasn't serious and everything he felt was the opposite of unserious. It was the most serious he'd ever been about anything.
He headed to Jun's lecture room and pushed the door open quietly.
Jun was alone, head resting on his arms on the table, fast asleep. Jet and Chawin were nowhere in sight.
Duan stood in the doorway for a moment and felt something squeeze in his chest. It was the first time he'd seen him like this — unguarded, still, completely at ease. His bangs had fallen softly above his nose. His long lashes rested on his cheek and the afternoon sun had settled on his face in a way that made his pale skin glow.
Duan wanted to hug him so badly it was almost a problem.
He took out his phone and quietly snapped a photo. He was going to keep that one forever.
He put his phone away and slipped into the seat right beside him. He leaned in a little closer, taking in the details he never got to see when Jun was awake and actively avoiding his eye contact.
He was perfect. Genuinely, unreasonably perfect.
Then Duan noticed the small beads of sweat forming on Jun's forehead. He knew Jun ran hot easily. Without thinking he slipped off his jacket and held it up to block the sun from hitting Jun's face directly.
The change in light must have registered because Jun's eyes fluttered open slowly.
He looked at Duan. Duan looked back. Neither of them moved for a second.
"What are you doing?" Jun's voice came out low and groggy.
Duan snapped back. "Nothing."
"What are you doing here?"
"It's hot in here so I brought you something." Duan reached into his bag and produced a small handheld fan, holding it out. "You get hot easily."
Jun stared at it. "How do you know that?"
"You're not as mysterious as you think."
Jun gave him a look.
"Just kidding." Duan smiled. "I noticed."
"You noticed," Jun repeated slowly, like he was deciding what to do with that information.
"Where are Jet and Chawin?"
"They weren't here when I arrived."
Jun looked at him. "How long have you been sitting there?"
Duan appeared to consider this very carefully. "About three minutes."
"So you've been staring at me for three minutes."
Duan's heart jumped. He opened his mouth. Closed it.
Jun shook his head and reached for his bag.
Duan shot to his feet. "I'll carry that."
"I'm fine."
"It looks heavy."
"It's not."
"Let me just—"
"I said I'm fine."
Duan reached for the strap anyway. Jun pulled it back. Duan reached again. Jun stepped sideways. They went back and forth like this for a good thirty seconds, moving in small circles in the middle of the empty classroom until Jun stopped, looked at him, and with the expression of someone making a calculated sacrifice, let go of the bag.
Duan slung it over his shoulder immediately before he could change his mind.
Jun walked ahead and said nothing. Duan followed with both bags and the quiet, private satisfaction of someone who had just won something small but meaningful.
---
Jet was already grinning the moment Duan sat down across from him.
"Our golden boy."
They did their usual greeting and Duan got straight to the point.
"So you overheard us and you've been sitting with it ever since," Jet said. It wasn't a question.
Duan nodded.
"Please. Help me," he whined.
"On one condition." Jet leaned forward. "Call me big brother."
Duan stared at him. "Big brother your ass. I'm taller than you."
"We're literally the same height." Jet paused. "You're taller than Jun though."
Duan sat up immediately. "Are you calling Jun short?"
"I—" Jet blinked. "What?"
"Jun is not short. Jun is cute and petite and—"
"He's manlier than you and you know it."
"He's still cute."
"I bet he's gonna be the top."
Duan sulked.
Jet watched him sulk and felt genuine secondhand emotion. To be honest Duan didn't even look like he cared about that. He just looked like a boy who wanted to be loved back.
"Okay I'll stop." Jet reached over and patted his head. "Don't make that face."
Duan swatted his hand away half heartedly.
"His name is Than," Jet said, his tone shifting. "Someone Jun used to be close with. They were good friends before Than decided to confess his feelings."
Duan was very still. "And?"
"Than crossed a line."
"What kind of line?"
Jet shook his head. "That's Jun's story to tell. I've already said more than I should because we're tight. If you really want to understand it you're going to have to ask him yourself."
Duan sat with that for a moment and then nodded slowly.
---
The walk back to his condo was long and the night air was cool enough that he was glad he'd taken his jacket back. He needed the walk. Needed the quiet.
Jun and Jet had gone to the same high school back in Chiang Mai before Jet moved to Bangkok for uni. That history was the only reason Jet talked to him the way he did, openly and without filters. Duan was grateful to have him on his side.
He thought about Than the whole way home. He thought about asking Jun. He thought about whether it was even his place.
By the time he reached his door he'd made a quiet decision. Exams first. After that, if the moment was right, he'd ask.
He unlocked his door, dropped his bag and lay down on his bed.
Jun had let him carry his bag today.
He fell asleep smiling.