"Damned cripple." The cup shattered against the stone floor, scattering tea, porcelain and a little of the composure Alva had managed to hold until the end of the negotiation. She was alone with Astrid in the workroom, where she intended to finish drafting the contract in her own hand.
"It was a fair agreement," Astrid said, already bending to clean the mess.
"Do you expect that to make me feel better?" The answer came out loud. By that point, her composure had been gone for long enough that pretending otherwise would have sounded ridiculous. It had left the moment the negotiation ended, perhaps before that, perhaps at the instant she realized, too late, that Hrafn had actually been listening to her.
"A grain of light, Astrid. A grain of light."
The maid gathered two larger shards before lifting her eyes. "Yes, my lady. I was present."
Alva ignored her. She crossed the room to the desk and set both hands on the dark wood, leaning over it slightly. She had been foolish, foolish in an especially insulting way because she usually was not. She had wanted to display power, the way one lets a rare jewel slip into view by accident. But the young voroir had not hesitated, had not pretended delicacy, and not allowed her to reposition the value of the offer later, when it might suit her. He had simply seized the piece and made it part of the price.
"It will make him stronger, my lady," Astrid said, continuing to gather the broken pieces. "That benefits you."
"Not enough to be worth the price. I meant to use it later, when the need arose, now it goes straight into his hands."
"Because the need has arisen."
Astrid rose, carried the shards to the empty tray, and returned to the tea table as though the entire argument were no more than another household task to be seen to. "It is worth it, my lady," Astrid went on, pouring fresh tea for them both. "You know it is, that is why you accepted." Then she sat, as she always did when the two of them were too alone to keep pretending to certain distances.
"You are turning twenty-five," she said. "And past the proper hour for marriage."
Alva breathed in through her nose, long and controlled, before taking up her own cup. The tea was still hot, and it would be sweet as well. It was almost an old joke between them by now. "Yes, I know. My brothers will not wait any longer."
"No. They will not." There was the beginning of a smile on her cousin's lips now. "Elevated ladies like you must decide early. Marry into a good house, strengthen the name, make alliances, produce children, produce usefulness." Astrid blew on her tea before drinking. "Only humble, lesser servants can afford the luxury of wasting time."
"Now you mock me openly."
"I would never dare, my lady." The smile widened only a little. "These are merely truths."
Alva held her gaze as she drank. "Have I ever told you that you speak too many truths for your own good, Astrid?"
"You have. Frequently." Astrid set her cup on the saucer with excessive care. "But a truth is a truth, my lady. Just as it is true that you may request a duel to rid yourself of any marriage."
"If my brothers do not buy him first."
Astrid did not contradict her this time. She only inclined her head slightly, accepting the weight of the reasoning.
Her brothers were not fools nor were they especially patient. They had already waited long enough while Alva remained useful by other means, small gains that accumulated, still justified leaving her without a formal owner a little longer. But that margin would not last.
"Is that not why we moved ahead, then?" Astrid asked.
Alva's gaze dropped to the small jewel box resting on the table beside the contract papers. It was a lovely piece, small, but exquisite, worked in darkened silver and inlaid with white salt. Inside it lay the true weight of the morning; the grain of light. Far more valuable than any stone Alva wore at her throat, on her fingers, or in her hair.
"Is that not why we are paying such a price?" Astrid pressed.
"Yes, but it was meant to be given when the situation arose." Alva took the box between her fingers and felt that it was too light for what it cost. "To give it now, is to lose power to negotiate later."
"It is to gain trust."
"I do not trust even my own servants."
"I agree. They are not very trustworthy, my lady."
"I was speaking of you."
"I thought you were the servant of truths." There was a moment of silence after that, the kind that could end in blood or laughter. Alva yielded first, she let out a short laugh, disbelieving and tired. Astrid joined her a moment later and for an instant the room seemed less cramped.
"How stands the problem at the mine outpost?" Alva asked.
Astrid turned serious. "Complicated, my lady." That was enough to spoil whatever remained of the mood."The miners say the forest is attacking them. That the place has been cursed."
"Nonsense."
"Yes. Nonsense, of course." Astrid folded her hands in her lap. "But fear and nonsense usually walk very well together. They refuse to take certain routes through the woods, avoid some shifts, swear they see figures between the trees even in the light. Output has fallen, and two shipments are already delayed, their fear is beginning to spoil the business."
The mine was small compared to what her brothers controlled, but it was hers. Not officially but enough, a piece torn free through insistence, calculation and a few favors placed well. She reached for the small hand mirror on the table, more from habit than vanity. The image it returned was the usual one, golden hair falling well, blue eyes cold and clear, skin carefully tended, a face correct, beautiful and clean. She had everything a lady might desire, appearance and good birth, but it had never been enough for her.
"And if we send him?" she asked, still looking at her own reflection.
Astrid took little time to understand. "That would not be wise, my lady."
"No?"
"He has potential, but he still has growing to do."
"I will not send my investment to its death, Astrid." Alva set the mirror down on the table and raised her eyes to her cousin. "But a voroir understands the world in strange ways. Perhaps he will see something the others do not, maybe at the very least, he will return some courage to the miners."
Astrid watched her in silence. "It would also be a test."
"Above all, a test."