I fought to control my breathing as I glanced around a corner on the Tower's ground floor. I scanned the hallway before me and came up with jack-diddly in ways of killer pigeons. It looked for all the world like I had a straight shot to the Tower's back dock, but at the moment that meant all of jack-squat to me, and for a damn good reason.
"Still no luck on finding the damn feather-rat?" I hissed to Soundbite.
He snarled darkly as he shook his head. "Not a one. I don't want to give any credit to THESE BASTARDS, but where their stealth skills are CONCERNED, IT'S DUE. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS, SORRY."
I tsked softly at that as I hesitantly eyed the Bridge in the distance. "Alright… alright… Lassoo, how far would you say it is to the dock?"
"Eh…" Lassoo cocked his head to the side, eyeing the distance. "Fifty-five, fifty meters, give or take? Either way, the architects got their money's worth out of these blueprints."
I groaned miserably at the prospect as I felt my legs flare up miserably, and not because of my fondued muscles. "Ah… alright… so running out there would just be stupid, so… so let's start with you belting out a load of smoke to fill the corridor, and then, ah, ah… Soundbite! Yeah, Soundbite, you fill the corridor with Gastro-Phony, and then I'll, ah, I'll—!"
"Alright, what's with the stuttering?" Soundbite demanded impatiently. "That corridor IS A LEGITIMATE KILLBOX, WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING RIGHT INTO IT!?"
I flinched self-consciously before shooting a shaky grin over my shoulder. "Haaave I ever told you two that I really hated P.E. class in school?"
My partners' expressions promptly fell flat. "Seriously?" they deadpanned.
I plastered a sheepish grin on my face as I rubbed the back of my head. "Running the mile, specifically. I mean, sure, my adrenaline's running pretty high, but I just don't think that running a straight line like this is the best course of action. I mean, come on, I'm the tactician here, and since I know the opponent, I'm sure I can come up with a few dozen plans to circumvent—!"
"Oh, for the love of God, will you please shut up?"
"NOW THAT'S MOTIVATION!" I yelped in panic as I shot out from behind the corner and made a break for it, pumping my legs as fast as I possibly could.
To my credit, I actually managed to make it a little under halfway.
"Tempest Wing."
SKRANG!
The attack splashed across my heel, sending me tumbling ass over teakettle. It was a considerable comfort that I had my armour on, and that said armour was thick as hell, because otherwise I would have fit a really inconvenient stereotype. But considering that it left me wide open for another attack, that comfort was as cold as they came.
And it got even colder when I started to push myself to my feet and was forced to freeze when I wound up staring down the damn bird's wing.
"I'm terribly sorry for my rudeness, but honestly now," Hattori drawled. "There's only so much inane jibber jabber a sane being can take at a time. Really, I do believe I can see where your navigator comes from whenever she does the world a favour by shutting you up."
"YOU SHIT-FEATHERED—AGH!" Soundbite's vicious snarling was cut off when a small gash was suddenly carved into his shell.
"When I told you to shut up earlier," Hattori said, his eyes narrowed menacingly. "I meant all of you. And as for you!" Hattori swung his wing to point it between Lassoo's eyes, causing the cannon to freeze just as he was opening his jaws. "I want you to think very hard on this: what do you think is faster? Your mouth, or my wing?"
Lassoo kept his mouth half-open for a second before snapping it shut with an irritated growl.
Hattori nodded before turning his attention back to me. "I'll give you points for persistence and cleverness, Cross," he drawled. "But in the end, you're simply weak, and your attempts to compensate through the usage of your unctuous partner are futile due to his own innate uselessness. Allow me to share a fact of life with you: There are opponents against which no amount of cleverness and persistence will work. And unfortunately for you, I'm not a Logia user with delusions of grandeur and better things to do with my time than kill you."
"But apparently you have THE TIME TO run your FUCKING—!"
Hattori casually flicked his wing, snapping a small pellet of something into Soundbite's mouth before he could react and reducing my snail's tirade to little more than a barrage of hacking and wheezing. The answer to what the hell had just happened came in the form of Soundbite coughing up a cloud of white powder that I recognized all too well: flour.
"Soundbite!" I cursed desperately.
Hattori cooed something or other in what I knew was a condescending tone, and the snarl Lassoo let out was proof enough of that.
Still, no matter what it was the bird said, his next action was clear enough.
Time seemed to slow down for us as the wing came down, and I could only stare and watch in horror as the air started to ripple around the white feathers.
Later on, when I recounted this story to my crew, I would swear up and down the Grand Line, Paradise and New World alike, that just as the wing was inches from my face, I saw a figure with a robe and a scythe looming behind the damn bird.
And that figure would have swung his scythe down, too.
"NO!"
If it weren't for a titanic voice suddenly bellowing out and causing Hattori to flail back in shock.
I hastily scrambled back when the pigeon's wing slashed at my face, and my heart all but stopped when the bird's wingtip sheared a small notch out of the lip of my baseball cap. "Fuck Gear Second, I just lost a few years off my life…" I whimpered in terror as I clambered to my feet.
Hattori, looking rather unnerved himself, hopped back from me and began scanning the area. "Who just spoke?" he demanded, before stiffening in shock. "Wait, how on earth am I speaking?!"
"HEY, FEATHERBRAIN."
Both Hattori and I snapped our attention to my shoulder, where Soundbite was grinning malevolently.
"YO," he greeted.
My jaw promptly dropped in shock.
It wasn't because a snail spoke, no, I was thoroughly used to that little fact of life.
It was because he spoke without opening his mouth.
"S-Soundbite…" I breathed in awe. "H-How the hell are you?"
Soundbite glanced at me for a second before shaking his head. "HoohoohooHEEHEEHEEhahaha… haaaa…" The snail then glanced down at my side. "PEOPLE OF THE WORLD… I HAVE A MESSAGE OF MY OWN."
Suddenly, a very familiar… nay, an unforgettable drumbeat started to play out, and all I could do was snap my head up into the air in shock. "What the hell—?!"
"I have a message that I want to share with some people."
-o-
"TO THE WARLORD OF THE SEAS KNOWN AS DONQUIXOTE DOFLAMINGO."
"Fuffuffuffuffuffu… Fuffuffuffuffuffu…!"
Said Warlord was currently hunched over and snickering on the deck of his ship, en route to getting the hell out of the No Man's Land that lay between Totland and Kaido's Empire; the events of the last few hours had been seriously taxing his ability to suppress his laughter, and it was taking a lot of effort not to start cackling loudly enough to wake the whole of the ocean.
Not that anyone was still asleep, mind you.
This was evidenced by Diamante hesitantly shuffling forwards, his progress being none-too-subtly encouraged by Pica shoving him in the back. He shot a glare over his shoulder at the larger Executive before clearing his throat. "Ah… Young Master, if you don't mind me asking, what's so—?"
"Fuffuffuffu… forget it…"
"E-Eh? W-What—AGH!" Diamante stumbled back in shock when the deck beneath his feet suddenly turned to string and started rippling.
"Forget the lateness of the hour, forget being yanked away to calm Big Mom. Hell, you can even forget that blacklist fiasco from a while back, too!" Doflamingo's smile stretched from ear to ear as he flung his head back and started cackling at the sky. "FUFFUFFU! Forget it all! In the end, it doesn't matter how irritating they are, how arrogant and overambitious they might be! None of that matters, not now or ever again! Because now, it's official! The Straw Hats are just keeping this world too interesting for me to be anything but entertained! HELL!"
The officers on board stumbled back in shock and terror when Doflamingo affixed a gaze at them that was filled with nothing but pure insanity.
"FORGET THE ERA OF ROGER, AND FORGET THE ERA OF SMILES ITSELF! THE ONLY THING I WANT TO SEE IN THIS WORLD IS THE SHEER MADNESS THAT WILL ARISE FROM THE ERA OF THE STRAW HAT PIRATES! FUFFUFFUFFUFFUFFUUU!"
-o-
"TO THE FOUR JAILER BEASTS OF THE UNDERWATER GAOL IMPEL DOWN!"
All throughout the facility of Impel Down, the entirety of the staff, from the 'human' guards and the Blugori to Warden Magellan himself, were desperately scrambling to try and maintain order as Levels 1, 2 and 4 rioted furiously, and the only reason that 3 and 5 weren't a part of the whole debacle was that the conditions of those Levels removed any will from the prisoners to fight back.
An extreme detriment to that endeavour and the root cause of the riots was that all four of the Gaol's Jailer Beasts had stopped doing their duties out of the blue in favour of bellowing skyward, and nothing that anybody did or said to them could make them stop.
Not even Sadi's training and discipline could get through to the Beasts. She tried, sure, but in the end, not even she was a match for the call of ingrained instinct.
-o-
"AND FINALLY, TO ANYBODY ELSE LIKE THEM… I suggest that you all move the hell over," Soundbite leered menacingly. "BECAUSE YOU SEE… THIS SNAIL JUST GOT ON YOUR LEVEL."
My mind reeled as I processed the implications of what I was hearing. And as if his words weren't more than enough, the sheer mad glint I could see in his eyes, practically shining from within, spoke more than enough.
"You… Soundbite," I stammered weakly. "D-Did you just—?"
"Awaken?" Soundbite giggled ecstatically. "Hell yes. And ya know what, Cross? I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR NOT BEING MUCH HELP BACK IN SKYPIEA. I didn't before, but still. SEE, IN THE END? THE REALITY IS THAT YOU COULDN'T have helped me figure it out…" He shook his head with a nostalgic look. "BECAUSE THERE IS JUST no figuring it out. 'Awakening'… an accurate name. ONE SECOND YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE, AND THE NEXT… YOU WAKE UP FROM A DEEP SLEEP, and you understand everything." He leaned his head back and basked as a chorus of trumpets blared. "Ain't nothin' like it."
"And…" I waved my hand in the air. "The music? I didn't think you had access to…" I jerked my head to the side. "You know, those records?"
"Heck," Lassoo piped up. "What the heck does this Awakening stuff mean in general?"
Soundbite shot a grin back at the dog-cannon. "On the music, I think that that BASTARD JUST CHOSE TO STEP OFF. As for everything else? Before, I was just an amped up mimic and ventriloquist. NOW? WEEEELL, ADMITTEDLY I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES, BUT FROM what I've managed to PUZZLE OUT?" He grinned eagerly. "Back in Loguetown, Nami called me a 'god of noise' after I got my rig. SHE WAS EXAGGERATING THEN."
Soundbite's grin stretched wide as an orchestra of strings sang to the heavens.
"THAT TITLE ISN'T HYPERBOLE ANYMORE."
I felt almost limp as I processed what I was hearing. And some part of my mind was actually registering that the trigger that brought about this Awakening, that his surpassing of this limit, was all just to save me. Humbled by a snail… some odd things had happened to me since I entered this world, but I was reasonably certain that this took the cake, and in a way I liked.
My musings may well have led to some sort of heartwarming moment, were it not for the fact that Hattori used that moment to prove that he took far more cues about restraint from Jabra than his master.
"So, you've managed to figure out a way to emit noise without using your throat." Hattori snorted as he swept his wing out. "What of it? Nothing's actually changed. The only true gods in this world are the Celestial Dragons, and even with that traitorous princess you salvaged, your crew is so far below them as to be pitiful worms crawling in the muck below the scum. In the end, you and your powers are still nothing short of utterly useless."
Lassoo growled, and I felt my teeth grind together at the insult to Vivi, but we had nothing on Soundbite's reaction.
"Useless…" he muttered, his teeth clenched so hard they were creaking and his eyestalks drawn as low as they could go. "USELESS!? YOU WORTHLESS FEATHER-RAT, I AM SOUNDBITE, AND I AM THE LOUDEST SNAIL IN THE WORLD! HEAR ME ROAR!" Soundbite then flung his head back and—!
"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅!"
"GAGH!" Lassoo and I flinched and clapped our respective limbs over our ears as Soundbite howled his fury to the world. It was literally painfully clear that Soundbite wasn't fully in control of his new powers yet, on account of how the very fringes of the bellow were blasting us with the compressed audio-equivalent of a live Skrillex concert.
Still, though, he had at least some measure of control, on account of how while our ears were aching, the whole world around us was shaking, and Hattori was drunkenly stumbling around on his talons as he clutched his head.
As fast as he'd started his audio rampage, Soundbite snapped his mouth shut and ended the din. "PUNT! NOW!"
"RIGHT!" I yelled louder than necessary before dashing forward, reeling my leg back and kicking the feather-rat into the wall. I tried to keep running immediately after that, but I instead stumbled and had to take a second to recover before continuing to dash for the dock.
"I take it you weren't that good at soccer either, huh?" Lassoo snarked.
"I was great at soccer, thank you very much!" I snapped indignantly as I kept a wary gaze over my shoulder. "That little shitstain used Iron Body, I might as well have kicked a medicine ball!"
"JUST RUN, DAMN IT!"
And so, indeed, I ran, and soon enough I reached the rear docking area of Enies Lobby. It was a simple enough place, a few cannons here and there for defence, a few stray crates obviously waiting for loading - and not a single clue as to where the hell the stairs to the passageway were, damn it!
"Soundbite, which way down?" I demanded.
"Worry about going down later, something's coming up!"
I blinked at him in confusion. "Wha—?" I froze when I noticed the tilestones bulging beneath my feet.
"MOVE!"
"SHIT!" I cursed as I dove back - which, coincidentally, allowed Hattori to shoot straight above me.
"You're going to wish you hadn't done that," Hattori promised as he flapped to a halt.
"And you're about to wish you were never born," Lassoo snickered.
The pigeon paused as he blinked in confusion. "Wha—?"
BOOM!
"GRRROOOOOAAAAAH!"
"GAH!" Hattori flailed in panic as the dock exploded beneath him, sending up a shower of debris and…
…well, and a monster.
"Meep…" I squeaked fearfully as I shrank back from Chopper's newly looming form. It was… pretty much exactly as Oda had depicted it: an unholy fusion of all of Chopper's forms zapped with a growth ray and ten times more straight-up feral than I'd ever seen him in the entire time I'd known him. At least if he'd been amping, I'd be in familiar territory, but this!? This was just on a totally different scale.
And there was one detail that Oda simply couldn't have gotten right, simply due to the limitations of his medium: the eyes. They were round, cyan pits, deep and endless and easy to get lost in.
They were simple to read, honestly, seeing as they just held one emotion within them. One emotion I read loud and clear when he stared me dead in the eye.
Rage.
Said rage was expressed when Chopper bellowed out and swung a keratin-fingered hand high, and I started to scramble back…
Before pausing and blinking slowly. He then turned his head to the side and started swivelling it around in order to keep track of the pigeon that was circling around his head.
"Well, now, this is a most interesting development," Hattori mused. "A transformation that removes all senses of sanity? Congratulations, Cross! You get to be beaten to death by your own crewmate. Is that not—Eh?" He paused and looked at our doctor in confusion. "Wait, why is he looking at me like—WAGH!" The pigeon was forced to flap backwards when Chopper took a wild swipe at him. "Honestly!? This stupid cliché!? This is completely—DAMN!"
"…Huh," I blinked as I watched Chopper paw after the pigeon, forcing him to retreat and frantically weave around fingers bigger than him as Chopper clambered out of the hole and started chasing after him. "I'm sort of inclined to agree, actually. I was expecting a jumbo-sized Hyde, not a jumbo-sized 'kid chasing the butterfly'."
"Yeah, you guys SUPER! overestimated this guy's new IQ."
"Eh?" I looked at the hole in shock and hastily ran over to grab Franky's free hand and haul him up to our level. Or try, at least; come on, the guy was heavy as all hell! "Good to see you're still hanging in there, Cyborg!" I nodded as I slapped him on the shoulder. "I take it you Coup de Vent'd the not-so-little guy here?"
"Yeah," Franky grunted as he cracked his neck back and forth and rolled his shoulders, all while keeping a wary eye on Chopper. "And for the record, I won't be able to use it again to get him into the sea."
"Not enough Cola?" I divined.
Franky snorted darkly. "Worse, it wouldn't actually connect. See, your friend may not be smart enough to speak, but he's sure got the brains he needs to learn. Every time I use an attack, he figures out some way to counter. Weapons Left? Dodged. Strong Right? Nearly grabbed it before I could reel it back. Fresh Fire? Guards with his hooves. And my Triangle Jackers and Master Nails techniques can't even get through that thick fur. And I just used my ace in the hole, so it looks like that's out too."
"Sorry, Franky," I shrugged helplessly. "Unless divine retribution strikes him down or something, I'm fresh out of ideas."
"…Cross? You're not messing with us this time, ARE YOU?"
"Huh? No, why—?"
SLAM!
"…because it would appear that you-know-who has a warped sense of humour," Lassoo deadpanned.
"I knew that from the day I met Soundbite," I replied with equal dryness.
The reason for our flatness was that via some grand cosmic joke—or more likely, B.R.O.B.'s childish desire for shits and giggles—a groaning Fukuro somehow wound up standing on Chopper's head, which was buried face-first in the stone of the tower.
"Well, I ain't divine by any given measure of the word," Boss grunted as he dropped out of the air and landed next to us. "But I'll accept any words of thanks or prayer as they come." He glanced up at a still-orbiting Hattori. "Huh. Honestly, I should've known you'd end up matched against the pet, Cross."
"That 'pet' carved my face open like a Thanksgiving turkey!" I snapped indignantly as I pointed at the bandage on my face. "And beyond that, why the hell haven't you managed to take out blob-boy yet!?"
Boss snorted as he tapped the ashes off his cigar. "Easy: he might hit like a pansy, but that blob's as slippery as any water I've ever swam in, and he can take normal hits easily enough."
"And since when do you fall under the category of 'normal'?!" I demanded.
"I've been using the Full-Shell Style for all of fifteen minutes, give me a break!" Boss shot back with a scowl.
Meanwhile, Hattori had taken roost on Fukuro's head and was giving him a flat look. "And your own power ranking is how high again?"
The zipper-mouthed assassin shot a glare back at the pigeon. "That hard-backed manatee hits like a cannon while the big-mouth you were fighting is a normal human. What's your excuse, chapapa?"
The avian assassin twitched minutely before refocusing on us. "What say we both just focus on the present and never mention this day ever again, agreed?"
Fukuro cracked his knuckles as he mirrored the pigeon. "Fine with me, chapa."
I took a nervous step back as I moved my hand to the pocket where I was holding my baton. "Anyone got any bright ideas?"
Franky scowled in thought for a second before adopting a cocky smirk. "Well, I didn't think that I'd have to use it so soon, but it looks like it's now or never for that super upgrade I just finished. And when I say super?" He slammed his forearms together in his trademark pose. "You damn well know that I mean that it's nothing short of SUPER!"
Soundbite nodded firmly as he adopted a smirk. "You, me and the bottle make three, because I just got me AN IDEA OF MY OWN TO KICK THAT FEATHER-RAT'S ASS!"
Boss cracked his neck back and forth as he rolled his shoulder. "Guess I'm the bottle in that scenario, which, honestly, is fine with me." He cracked a grin of his own. "Because I think I'm about set to take that tub of lard down a peg or twenty with my latest finisher."
I gave my allies searching glances with more than a little urgency as Chopper started to shift around. "You guys are sure that these moves will do the trick?"
"Positive!" the three chorused
"Well, that's good to hear..."
Chopper suddenly jerked his head out of the wall and turned to face us with an outraged roar, prompting Hattori and Fukuro to Shave off of him and glare at us from his flanks.
"Because I don't think we're going to get another shot!" I ground out as I slammed my fist into my palm.
"Then we'll have to make it count!" Franky nodded before snapping his hand up and his wrist open. "WEAPONS LEFT!"
Chopper snapped a hand up and blocked the blast from actually hitting him, but the explosion still drew out an aggravated growl.
"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU OVERGROWN PIECE OF VENISON!" Franky shouted as he waved his arms over his head. "COME AND GET ME!" He then turned and ran towards the waterline as Chopper charged after him.
Fukuro raised his eyebrow at the spectacle. "Well, that's that bastard taken care of, chapapa." He then narrowed his eyes. "Still though, it might be best that I guarantee—!"
"Rip Tide and—!"
Fukuro hastily crossed his arms in defence as Boss appeared before him.
"Iron Body: Arbitrator!"
"Squall Pistol!"
Boss shoved his flipper into the assassin's arms. The dugong scowled as the force of the impact knocked his opponent back a bit, but not much else. "Well, now that's just annoying."
"Six Powers Skill: Te-Awase Ranking." Fukuro narrowed his eyes challengingly. "Boss Dugong, Power Level Two Thousand. Impressive, and higher than me, but in the end, it's just not going to be enough."
Boss snorted defiantly. "What say we test that theory?"
Fukuro shoved his face into his opponent's with a snarl. "My thoughts exactly."
And with that the two Shave/Rip Tide'd out of sight, leaving Hattori and I facing one another down.
I angled my head to the side. "You ready to finish this?"
Hattori narrowed his eyes. "You have absolutely no idea."
I flexed my fingers in my gauntlets, testing the Dial-triggers within, and pulled one arm back to grab Lassoo. "Soundbite, how about some…" I unslung my cannon and took aim. "Appropriate music for the climax?
"It would BE MY PLEASURE," the snail purred.
And with that, the air filled with three different tracks of music…
"CANI-CANNON!"
"TEMPEST WING!"
And the fight began.
-o-
"You know, if somebody had told me, say, a year back, that I would one day end up fighting a Zoan-Type who pushed their powers to the max and went off their nut, all for the sake of helping somebody who's not a part of my family? I'd have probably laughed in their face before tossing them into the sea to sober up."
Franky chuckled dryly as he ducked under a swipe at his head.
"Guess that goes to show I'm something of a dumbass, huh? I mean, come on, it's the Grand Line! There's no such thing as 'crazy' here except for thinking that someone's crazy!"
As he jumped back from another attack, both combatants paused as music filled the air. Franky stiffened before an ecstatic grin played over his face. "Oh, man, this song feels like it's speaking to my soul! It's making me feel so… so…" He slammed his forearms above his head with a roar. "SUPE—WOAH!"
The cyborg hastily broke out of his pose to dodge another stone-cracking swipe, and nearly lost his balance as he leapt back onto the edge of the dock. "Alright, maybe a little too super. Still…" A grin stretched over his face as he felt the seawater lap at his heels, and he raised his fists into a boxing position. "Good enough. Come and get some, furball!"
"GROOOAR!" Chopper responded, lowering his head as he began… well, not quite running, but it seemed so with his size. Franky tensed his muscles, waiting until he got close enough to pick out the individual ridges on the branches of his horns before charging forward a few steps himself and dropping into a baseball slide that just barely took him under the monster's bulk, with said monster digging his hooves into the stonework and forcing himself to a halt the second he registered that he'd missed.
'Barely' in this case meaning that Franky nervously patted his pompadour to make sure it was all still there once he got back to his feet. "Ye-ow, that was way too close! Not doing that again anytime soon, that's for sure." He smirked confidently. "At least I've still got you right where I want you, furball. What do you have to say about that?"
Chopper snorted and shook his fur as he stared at his opponent dully before raising his arms into—
Franky blinked in surprise as the Monster adopted a mirror of his own boxing stance. "Huh… alright, so maybe you are pretty smart." He was still for a second before grinning. "Not like it changes much, because either way?" He held his arms out to his sides, elbows at ninety-degree angles and fists angled towards the sky. "It's now or never to use my SUPER! upgrade!"
With that, he raised his elbows up while keeping his arms stiff. "Here we go! STROOOONG LEFT!"
Franky jerked his left arm back down to a right angle, causing a foot-and-a-half rod of metal to shoot out of his elbow.
"RIGHT!" He then repeated the motion with his right arm, causing another rod to shoot out. Finally, the cyborg braced his legs and rotated his arms downward so that his fists were pointed right at Chopper.
"COMBOOOO!"
And with a simple shove of willpower, the piston-rods started hammering into Franky's forearms, and his fists launched out from his wrists, shooting out and retracting fast enough that they seemed to multiply, pummeling the behemoth buccaneer buck a dozen times in a second before he could even consider retaliating. He moved like a death row inmate as the firing squad ended his life, flinching and recoiling at the impacts but too dazed and in pain - and mounting exhaustion from the transformation—to retaliate.
"Let me tell you something, little guy!" Franky bellowed over the sound of metal striking flesh and bone. "Usually, I'm a pretty super guy, but after listening to Straw Hat beat down on that Fox Guy? After getting the idea for this upgrade? Well, it's just too bad for you, because I'll have you know that since then, I've been feeling…"
The pistons started to pound even harder.
"Really…"
And they pounded harder.
"REAAAAALLYYYYY!"
And just like that they accelerated into blurs.
"SUUUUUUPAH-PAH-PAH-PAH-PAH-PAAAAAAH!"
To the Monster's credit, it actually managed to resist under the double-fisted onslaught for all of ten seconds before one of its legs lost its traction, and it pitched forward. It instinctively lashed its arms out in a desperate attempt to catch itself, and as a result, left itself open to catching over a dozen high-powered shots to its body. Said shots were enough to leave the Monster reeling, gasping in an attempt to fill its newly-bruised lungs with air.
Taking the opportunity for what it was, Franky retracted his left arm's piston and dashed forward, positioning himself below the pirate's falling chin. "And now, SUPER!" He lashed his right fist up and caught the monster in its jaw just as he activated his piston. "STRONG RIGHT UPPERCUT!"
The devastating blow blew the human-reindeer back onto his hooves, where he was left swaying and groaning in agony as he tried and failed to kickstart his rattled brain back into business.
Franky took a second to huff and get his breath back before allowing himself to chuckle as he popped his right piston back into place. "Ah, man… let me tell you, that move is a bitch to use. Those pistons hurt like hell when they come out, and not only does it need a full bottle of cola to get the motors chugging, but it drains more the longer I keep it running. Totally not cool. But hey," he shrugged as he popped his gut-fridge open and withdrew a spare pair of shades. "At least it makes up for it by being super. And you know that when I say super…"
Franky smirked as he slid his sunglasses onto his face, the ever-present sunlight glinting off of them.
"I mean… SUPER."
Franky held his pose for a second…
BAM!
"What the—YEOW!"
Before he was forced to dodge as something shot straight through where he'd been standing a moment earlier and slammed into Chopper, causing him to sway back with a pained groan.
The cyborg snapped his head up, glasses askew as he looked around in confusion.
"What the heck was that!?"
-o-
Fist and flipper met cheek to cheek as Boss and Fukuro smashed a cross-counter into each other, the blows bouncing harmlessly off each other's Iron Bodies. Glaring, the two broke off, bounding back a bit to reassess their next moves.
'This is ridiculous!' Fukuro silently raged. 'Every blow I land on this guy just gets ignored due to that fucking Iron Body of his! Even the Solid Beast doesn't do much more than bruise him!'
'I can't believe this fatass has given me so much trouble,' Boss mentally grumbled. 'My stronger blows don't land, and anything fast enough to connect doesn't have enough to punch through that ranking Iron Body of his.'
Both of them came to the same conclusion simultaneously.
'There's only one thing left to try.'
And there was the difference between the two fighters. One was desperate, trying to find a gamble that could turn things around; the other was merely trying something that might not work.
"It's time to end this," they chorused.
And with that, Boss moved first, adopting a very specific stance: fists facing opposite one another and ready at his side. Fukuro, of course, recognized it immediately and burst out cackling.
"Chapapapapa!" Fukuro roared, clutching his gut as he laughed just out of Boss' usual attack radius. "You think you can use that move!? Your Power Level and your skills might be impressive, but not even your crew's level of applied nonsense can do that! The only way to use that is with intimate knowledge of the Six—!"
"The Iron Body is the root of it all," Boss intoned, his stance not wavering one bit as he glared dead ahead. "It teaches the body to be strong, so that it might withstand all forms of punishment and not rend itself apart. This must be brought to terms with the Paper Arts, so that one's muscles remain flexible even while staying in-flexible."
"—…powers?"
"Shave comes next. It teaches swiftness, speed, so that one may act decisively and in an instant, and yet all thanks to a simple motion," Boss continued without pausing. "Moonwalk and Tempest Kick are a dual lesson: how to put one's full body into affecting the air around them, as well as how to weaponize the very air one jumps off of. Finally, Finger Pistol is not about technique, but mentality. One's whole body is put into use in the attack, all muscles are exerted in the motion, and thus to perform it, one must effectively transform their body into a weapon."
"Cha… pa?" the assassin squeaked, for once at an utter loss for words.
"Individually, these techniques are all incredibly powerful, but when brought together in a single instant and a single action…" Boss clenched and unclenched the muscles in his fists in preparation. "They form a weapon of unparalleled might and destruction."
By now, Fukuro's mouth resembled less a zipper and more an undone clasp. "H-How—?! Y-Y-You only had that scroll for ten minutes! You haven't even been able to use the Six Powers for half an hour!"
"And that was more than I needed by half," Boss scoffed. "Cross said you and your pals have spent your whole lives learning these Arts and how to kill. Not bad. Me? I've spent my life dedicated to learning how to learn. You can concentrate on mastering the one art all you want, but at the end of the day?" The dugong grit his teeth fiercely. "I am the one who will master them all. And mind you, that's not a boast…" The master martial-artist's gaze sharpened. "But my Man's Dream."
"But!" Boss lowered his head with a chuckle. "I digress. That dream… is a dream for the future. For now, however…" He drew his fists back and tensed.
Refusing to wait so much as a second longer, Fukuro Shaved at him with all the speed he could muster and rained holy hell down on his head, blow after blow smashing against the dugong's body to no avail. Boss merely closed his eyes as he weathered the strikes, his mind casting back into his own river of time.
'Finally… After all these years… I've started to become worthy of you…' Memories drifted unbidden to the dugong's conscious mind as he concentrated. Memories that reflected who he was and what he'd accomplished. 'I've finally started on the road to follow you, Sifu…'
-45 Years Ago-
It was an average day on the shores of Alabasta. Flat-bottomed barges plied the Sandora, transporting goods up and down the great artery of the desert kingdom. Out at sea, ships from single-mast pinnaces to four-masted galleons plied the coastal waters, jockeying for Nanohana or heading to other ports.
However, the focus at the moment is not on the vessels out at sea, but rather further up the length of the Sandora River, where a group of young Kung Fu Dugong pups were waddling along the sands as they ventured into territories where their parents had explicitly told them not to venture.
There were three of them, in all: the one on the left had a somewhat grouchy, stoic look on his face, the one on the right a calm countenance, and the one in the middle, who was leading them, bore a bold grin on his face and a somewhat oversized camo bandanna around his forehead. The one thing that all of them shared, however, was the air of eagerness about them.
[So, Rookie,] the calm one on the right said, giving their leader a sidelong grin. [Are we going anywhere specific today?]
[Betcha we're just wandering around again,] the grouch on the left rolled his eyes with a scoff.
[Psh, c'mon, Apprentice, don't be like that!] Rookie laughed as he elbowed his friend on his left before smiling to his right. [And to answer, Neophyte, I'll have you know that Apprentice is actually right! We don't have a destination set for today's venture, and why should we?] Rookie jumped in front of the Sandora River and struck a pose, flipper raised high in the air. [After all, while journeys with destinations are great and all, it's the ones without that are even better, because then it's all up to fate!]
He then crossed his arms and grinned a cocksure grin at his friends. [And no matter the dangers that arise, we'll face them head-on and come out as champs because we are Kung Fu Dugongs, and we don't run away from anything! Right, guys?]
[Right!] Neophyte nodded firmly.
[That's for damn sure,] Apprentice allowed himself a smirk.
[LUUUUUNCH!] The Sandora Lizard that burst from one of the nearby dunes bellowed before charging at them.
The pups stared at the giga-lizard in shock for a moment…
[RUN AWAY!]
Until Rookie screamed at the top of his lungs and leapt into the river, with Neophyte right behind him.
Apprentice glanced after them for a second before shaking his head and directing a glare at the tyrant lizard, falling into one of the stances he remembered from watching the older dugongs. [Bring it on,] he muttered beneath his breath.
The lizard rushed closer and closer, and the Dugong was just about able to smell the absolutely rancid stench of its breath…
[Well, now.]
CRUNCH!
Suddenly, the lizard was brought to a dead halt by a massive blow that cracked into its skull, leaving a deep canyon in its forehead.
Apprentice gaped in shock as the one responsible for saving his life—bravado aside, he knew that the beast posed a very real danger to him—landed in front of him. It was an adult Dugong, older than any that he'd seen in his life and armed with nothing but a bamboo pole. But as he turned back to lock eyes with Apprentice, the younger Dugong felt cowed; the look in his eyes was enough on its own to show that he had lived in a way that he and his friends had only dreamed of.
[It's obvious that you've got more guts than a shark full of chum. But guts aren't enough to be able to fight against an opponent like that, especially for an unarmed pup.]
Apprentice felt stirrings of annoyance from the designation, but his incredulity beat them down with ease. [You… Who are you? You're not from the tribe.]
The old dugong chuckled. [Actually, I am. I've just been out and about for a long while, and I've only just gotten back today, is all. Call me…] the elder dugong glanced upwards thoughtfully for a second before shrugging. [Eh, 'Sifu' Dugong, why not. It's as good a name as any.]
Apprentice took in the dugong's nonchalant attitude after doing something so incredible as killing a Sandora Dragon, one of the most frightening beasts he knew of, with one hit and no effort. [Sifu… how strong are you?]
A glint appeared in the Dugong's eye, and his mouth turned upwards in a grin. [I was once called 'Boss,' but I passed that title on when I left to travel and see what more the world had to offer for me. And it's been very rewarding.]
Apprentice stared at him. This was the embodiment of everything that Rookie kept going on about, and at the same time, it was the embodiment of what he was looking for. One stupid act had brought him face-to-face with what he knew he wanted out of life. And so it was that he bowed down in the sand towards the Dugong he had met barely a minute ago.
[I would learn all that you have to show me, Sifu,] the apprentice stated. [I am Apprentice Dugong, but if you will take me as your student, I will adopt the name Disciple Dugong from this day on.]
[Hmm. Gutsy and eager.] The elder dugong hummed thoughtfully, then shrugged. [Eh, what the hell. I've got nothing better to do. If that's what you so desire, stand up, Disciple, and follow me.]
With nary a thought to his friends, the newly dubbed Disciple followed Sifu into the desert, not complaining as their path directed towards the Sandora Mountains. For a good long while, neither spoke. Then, at last, Sifu broke his stride along with the silence.
[Normally, I would start your training from the beginning and teach you from the basics up, but it seems to me that you're a pretty bright pup, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and raise the level a bit. Now…] The wizened dugong tapped his pole against the sheer rock face they were standing in front of. [Punch this cliff in half.]
Disciple Dugong slowly turned his head to stare up at the cliff in naked shock. He observed it in silence for a few seconds before sobering his expression and cracking his neck to the side. [Right away, Sifu.]
The old master's muzzle slowly split into an eager grin.
~o~
[Your endurance will be put to the test here. Today, we will be travelling the coastline to Nanohana.]
Disciple nodded in acceptance.
[The long way, of course, stretching through the territories where pirates so often prowl.]
Disciple fell motionless for several seconds before nodding again, earning another grin from the old master.
~o~
[This should help significantly in building your reflexes. Economize your movements, or you'll only be stung more.]
This time, Disciple couldn't fully suppress his nervousness. Understandably, given that his teacher had bound him in chains, hung him from a tree branch, and was holding his pole beside a wasp's nest on the same branch. Regardless, wincing, the Dugong nodded again.
Sifu grinned anew as he struck the nest, moving towards the river a moment later for cover.
~o~
[Now… there's an old stone tower with a fountain on top of it at the peak of Mount Sinai. Take this bottle, climb up there, fill it, and bring it back so that I can drink it.]
Disciple took the bottle from his master, noting with no surprise at this point that it was made of glass. He'd wager if asked that his master blew the sand to form it himself.
[Yes, Sifu,] Disciple nodded with no less confidence than he felt; the past eight months had been more rewarding than the years leading up to it.
But he always found the best reward to be the way his teacher's face lit up whenever he accepted a challenge, and that day was no exception.
~o~
[B-But, Sifu, sir, I'm begging you! W-What about what you've learned from the places you've been over the years!?] Disciple protested desperately. [Surely, in all of your travels—!]
[You've learned all of the basics that I have to teach, my faithful disciple,] Sifu replied airily as he stared out to sea. [What I have learned at sea is for me and me alone. The rest… only you can find it. You must form it on your own. Surely you have your own dream by now, no?]
Disciple gritted his teeth in an effort to stay silent before finally pitching forward and kneeling in the sand. [Sifu… after all this time… you are my dream! To become as great a warrior as you, as great a man as you! All these years, that has been my only—!]
[Then that will be enough.]
Disciple snapped his head up and blinked through his tears. [Sifu?]
The elderly dugong smiled kindly as he placed a flipper upon his student's shoulder. [I will venture out into this world, and continue to learn, and when you are ready, I expect that you will do the same. And when you do, seek not to follow my path, but rather your own path. For though the road may be long and winding, I have faith that we shall cross again in the future. And the next time we meet… we shall see where you stand on the path to your dream. We shall see if the student has surpassed the teacher.]
Disciple scrunched his eyes shut miserably as he fought to hold back his tears, but bowed in acceptance nevertheless. [Yes, Sifu.]
He forced his eyes open, and imprinted the proud grin he had grown to see as his greatest reward in his mind. Then the bamboo-wielder leapt into the ocean and disappeared.
He never returned.
~o~
Disciple spun the woven seaweed of his rope-dart in his flippers, looking with determination at the polearm-wielding Dugongs across from him.
[Come on, Disciple, you're the one who asked for a two-on-one fight,] Chief called out as he thumbed his camo headband. [Sure you're not biting off more than you can chew?]
Disciple snorted as he gave his old friends a confident smirk. [I've got a big stomach. Hit me with your best shot!]
Lancer scoffed as he lowered his spear at him. [Your funeral, partner.]
And with that, they launched into the mother of all duels. It was incredible, it was awe-inspiring, Disciple managed to keep neck and neck with them both… but in the end, the fight ended with both Chief and Lancer's spears resting at his neck.
[Damn…] Disciple bemoaned miserably.
[Eh, don't beat yourself up, you almost had us, there,] Lancer drawled as he withdrew his weapon. [You've got a lot of strength there.]
[No kidding!] Chief grinned as he rolled his muscles. [We'll have to do this again sometime, that was fun!]
Disciple sighed, but grinned wistfully, nodding in response to the challenge. [I'll manage it someday soon, you can count on it.]
They exchanged smirks and fistbumps before the other two dugongs dove into the river and swam off, leaving Disciple alone. And the second that his friends were out of sight, he turned around and smashed his flipper into the rock face behind him.
He scowled ferociously as the resulting crack only reached halfway to the top.
[Damn… still a ways to go…] he sighed.
~o~
[And… just who are you four supposed to be?] Disciple regarded the quartet of pups before him dryly.
[I'm Leo, the leader!]
[I'm Mikey, the funny guy!]
[I'm Raphey, the tough one!]
[And I'm Donny, the one who picked all the names! And together, we are—!]
[The Mega Duper Super—!]
[Mikey's Mega Kickass—!]
[The Epicly Incredible—!]
There was a moment of silence, and then Disciple felt his eyebrow twitch irritably as the four huddled up and started whispering with one another. Soon enough, however, they split up and lined up before him.
[OK, so we're still working on the group name… but we can all agree on the reason that we're here, at least!] Leo said.
In near-perfect unison, the four of them bowed to him. [You're the most badass Dugong in Alabasta, please train us!] they requested.
Disciple cocked his eyebrow flatly. [And… why should I?]
[PLEASE!] Mikey broke formation and fell on his 'knees' as he pleaded desperately. [You're our last hope!]
[Mikey!] Raphey snapped irritably.
[He's not wrong, though…] Donny bemoaned.
[We've already tried all the other masters,] Leo explained. [But nobody will take on all four of us at once. We know it's stupid and we're not really related by blood, but…] The four exchanged solemn looks. [It's always been us four, for as long as we can remember, us against the world. We have to train together, it's our only option. So… please…]
All four bowed their heads as one. [Please train us!]
Disciple regarded the pups emotionlessly for a minute… before looking away with a weary sigh. [Well, if this is what you really want, then so be it. I shall train you as my master trained me.]
The young pups grinned ecstatically and started exchanging high fives with one another.
[Now!] Disciple barked, snapping them out of their celebration as he snapped a flipper out and pointed to his side. [Your first training task: Punch that cliff in half!]
The dugong heaved a weary sigh as his new students were suddenly paralyzed in shock.
[We've got a long road ahead of us…]
~o~
[Alright, pups!] Disciple barked to his students, who were all wobbling sleepily. [This is your second training task.]
His flipper snapped out, revealing a small, silvery fish to be wriggling in his palm.
[These are the chief's favourite fish for when he's training,] the disciple explained. [Your task will be to assist me in delivering them for his breakfast.]
Donny—where they'd gotten those names or those colored bandannas, he had no idea, but at least it made differentiating them a little easier—raised a flipper.
[Yes, Donny?]
[This is going to be nowhere near as easy as it seems, isn't it?]
[Very perceptive!] Disciple stated. [Yes, there is a catch: the chief likes to train in the high altitudes of the Sandora mountains.]
For a moment, there was silence.
[The Sandora Mountains,] Leo clarified, his brow twitching furiously. [The Sandora Mountains that feed the Sandora River. The Sandora Mountains, which are a good hundred miles away, are the breeding grounds for the biggest, meanest Bananagators in all of Alabasta. Those Sandora Mountains.]
[Yes, which is why as soon as you catch your fish, we'll be going,] Disciple stated. When his students didn't move, he fixed them with a glare. [That means now, softshells!]
As his students frantically dove into the river, Disciple turned contemplative. [Maybe I should tell them about the cataracts,] he mused. [Or the inland delta with the Accelegators and the mud. Or that ornery old Catfish up the waterfall.] After a moment of thought, he shrugged. [Eh, it'll be a good experience for them.]
~o~
[Alright, students,] Disciple announced. [This time we'll be doing reflex training.]
[Then… why are you tying us to this tree?] Raphey asked.
[No clue, but look on the bright side: At least we can get honey from those bees afterward,] Mikey pointed out, not noticing his fellow students stiffening in horrified realization.
[Don't worry, all will be made clear in a moment,] Disciple said as he waddled up to the buzzing beehive. Gingerly reaching up, he gave the honeycomb a solid whack—and immediately made a leaping dive into the river.
[YAAAAAAARGH! BEEEEEEEEEEES!]
[Economize your movements, or you'll only get stung more!] A disciple called out as his students frantically tried to avoid the bees. [And above all else, remember to work together!]
Raphey and Mikey chose that exact moment to slam face-first into one another in their panic and knock each other out.
[What part of 'work together' are you failing to understand, dagnabbit!?]
[Core—OW!—concept, I think, sir!] Donny yelped.
[Ergh…] Disciple bemoaned as he ground the heel of his flipper into his forehead.
~o~
Disciple huffed heavily as he stood on the skull of a concussed Sandora Catfish, scowling darkly as he ran his thoughts over in his head. The Catfish he'd just taken down was supposed to be the day's assignment for his students, a mile-marker for them. They were supposed to work together, they were supposed to take it down with ease, but instead…
Disciple glanced over his shoulder at the coastline, where his students were waiting- no, bickering, at the coastline where three of his students were bickering with one another, while the fourth—
[I'm still alive, in case anyone cares…] Mikey groaned through his bruises as he raised a shaky flipper.
He received another fist to his face as a way of response. [The only reason I 'care' is that it means I need to try harder to beat your face in, you damn idiot!] Raphey raged irately.
[Hey, back off, you damn berserker!] Leo shoved her back as he snarled in her face. [Mikey was just kidding around, we wouldn't have gotten into that damn mess in the first place if you hadn't gone off the handle!]
[Thanks, Leo…]
[Shut it, Mikey,] the blue-bandanna'd dugong snapped. [I'm still pissed at you and I'll get to you in a second, but only after I'm through with this nutjob!]
[Bring it the hell on, you big-headed bastard!] Raphey butted her head against his.
[Come on, guys, quit it, there's no need to—!]
[STAY OUT OF IT, DONNY!] The two paired snapped a vicious snarl at him.
The purple-wearing Dugong flinched back fearfully before shooting a fearful look at Disciple. [Master, could you please help me stop them? If they keep—! Going…?] Donny trailed off in confusion as he realized that his master wasn't on the Catfish anymore. A quick look around revealed that Disciple was—
[Master, where are you going?] Donny asked, drawing the other three away from their quarrelling to notice that their teacher was leaving, with an air of depression about him.
[Leaving,] Disciple called back emotionlessly.
Donny flinched slightly at the tone. [Ah… a-alright, then, when are we going to meet again for more-?]
[We won't be,] Disciple cut him off sternly. [I'm done teaching you. Find a new master.]
[EH!?] The quartet yelped in shock.
[Master, no!]
[This can't be happening!]
[I'm sorry, I'll stop making puns, I swear!]
[Master, we apologize sincerely, and we realize it looks like we're pretty damn hopeless, but—!]
[Wrong,] Disciple snapped again. [You're not the hopeless ones here,] the dugong clenched his flippers and bowed his head. [I am.]
All four looked after him in shock.
[You four are excellent warriors, I don't doubt any of the potential you show for even a second. You're all fine students, so the only reason for you not to be making any progress here, through the training that my Sifu gave me, the methods I trained through…] Disciple grit his teeth grimly. [Is that I'm not properly doing my job of instructing you, of helping you to become the best warriors you can possibly be?]
The dugong shook his head solemnly. [I failed my Sifu, and I failed you. I'm sorry that I wasted your time.]
Before any of the quartet could say anything further, he dove into the water and swam off.
~o~
The next morning, Disciple went about his daily routine as the rays of the sunrise woke him up.
He grabbed some dried salmon from his stash, he polished his shell, lit a new cigar, combed through the braided seaweed of his rope-dart for any parasites that might have taken root in the night, and he was about to stride into the surf for his daily morning swim…
When his routine was rudely interrupted by his tripping over something that hadn't been there the night before.
Once he recovered from his impromptu faceplant, Disciple was able to swiftly identify the reason behind the disruption of his routine: namely, a quartet of Dugong pups who were all passed out on what amounted to his front porch.
Disciple stared at the sleeping forms of his ex-students for a moment before scowling darkly. He opened his muzzle to start to chew them out… before pausing in confusion as the off-beat lapping of the waves hit his ears.
The older dugong turned on his tail and promptly froze in utter shock, and for good reason, too. After all, it wasn't every day that one bore witness to the sight of the surface of the Sandora River being covered from shore to shore with dozens of pummeled Sandora Catfish.
Disciple observed the minor Sea Kings' insensate forms for a moment before turning his attention back to his students. Without the haze of anger clouding his vision, he was able to notice that they weren't only sleeping on his turf, but rather they were sleeping off a rather impressive array of injuries.
Injuries that synced up with, say, taking on a horde of carnivorous fish ten times their own size.
Disciple was silent for a few minutes longer before scratching the back of his head with a sigh. [Ahhh, geeze… of all the things I had to succeed at teaching, and it was this?] He kept his head bowed a moment longer before allowing a smirk to tug at his muzzle. [Tch… oh, what the hell. If this is what they really want…]
With that, Disciple brought his flipper to his lips and whistled, prompting his students to jerk awake with cries of shock.
[ATEEEEN-HUT!] Disciple barked imperiously, prompting his students to snap to attention before they were fully awake.
Leo blinked blearily as he tried to get his mind in working order. [What the—?]
[WELL!] Disciple roared, causing his students to jump anew before flinching back as they realized just what kind of position they were in. They then cowered as Disciple pinned them all with a chilling glare and started pacing back and forth grimly. [You all defied my refusal to continue training you, went up against impossible odds, and only just managed to eke out a victory, all for the sake of impressing me. Did I get all that right?]
The four exchanged nervous glances before nodding hesitantly. [Yes, Master…]
Disciple was silent for a moment before snorting heavily. [This little stunt of yours tells me two things. First?] The teacher shot his students a cocky smirk. [That I'm obviously doing something right where your training is concerned, so I guess I might as well continue your training.]
The quartet promptly adopted euphoric grins and started cheering as they exchanged victorious high-fives and chest-bumps.
[Second!] Disciple forged onwards. [It's equally obvious that I have been severely underestimating your capabilities, and as such, I will be adjusting your training appropriately. In short… weeell, I suggest that you all catch what sleep you can.] He adopted a vicious smirk. [Because in six hours, we're running a raid on the Bananagator's Nest, and there's nothing they love more than the smell of Catfish blood.]
The four pups froze as expressions of utter horror washed over their faces… before their eyes rolled up in their heads and they collapsed backwards.
Disciple cocked his eyebrow at them for a second before snickering and grinding the butt of his cigar between his teeth. [Heh. Buncha wimpy-ass anchovies.]
~o~
[Go with them.]
[Eh?] Disciple blinked over his shoulder in confusion, his contemplation of the sea broken by none other than Chief Dugong, who was standing behind him and smiling his usual happy-go-lucky smile. [What are you—?]
[Go with the Straw Hats,] Chief Dugong re-emphasized with a chuckle. [You have my blessing. Go with them, go out to sea and chase your dreams. Show the world the true might of the Kung Fu Dugongs…] Chief's smile widened prominently. [Boss Dugong.]
Disciple started in shock. [Bo—!? What!? C-Chief, Boss is a name reserved for only the strongest of Dugongs, f-for our leader, and that's—!]
[You,] Chief cut Disciple off flatly. [It's always been you, from day one. I might be a happy-go-lucky fellow, sure, but do you really think that Lancer Dugong or I couldn't tell? You think we didn't know sandbagging when we saw it?]
Disciple flinched and looked away hesitantly. [Well, I…]
Chief chuckled lightly as he clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder. [You've always been the strongest, you've always been our chief… but we knew that wasn't what you wanted. You didn't want to lead; you wanted to learn and grow, so I let it slide until now. And now… now I'm doing what's right. So here.] Chief reached up, undid his bandanna and held it out to Disciple. [Take it.]
Disciple stared at the camo cloth in shock. [C-chief, that's—!]
[My prized possession, yes.] Chief confirmed solemnly. [I want you to take it. Take my bandanna and my title, your rightful title, and take with you the pride of all Kung Fu Dugongs in the process. Take it all… and show the world who we really are. Show them all who you really are. Chase your dream… and fulfill it before the eyes of the world.]
Disciple stared at his friend in shock for a second before slowly taking the bandanna from him and staring at it numbly. [I… I don't know what to say…]
[That would be 'yes.']
The other Dugong swallowed heavily at that… before finally raising it and tying it around his head. [Thank you…] Boss Dugong whispered reverently.
[Thank me by becoming the best of us there ever was or will be,] Chief stated as he clapped his friend's shoulder before adopting a smirk. [And by taking those hellions of yours with you, so that I'm not forced to watch them every waking moment to keep them from jumping ship. Got it?]
Boss barked out a teary laugh as he snapped out a salute. [Yes, sir!]
-Present-
Boss allowed himself a slight smile as he cracked his eyes open, returning to the present. "Six Arts made by Six Kings…" he whispered.
"D-Damn you…" Fukuro huffed from exertion as he reared his fist back. "TAKE THIS! SOLID BEAST!"
The punch slammed into Boss' muzzle—and unlike the last time the attack had actually landed, the dugong didn't budge a single centimetre.
"Six Arts made by Six Kings, each King ruling over a grand ocean as wide and deep as the sky. Six Oceans that form the world: East Blue, North Blue—"
Only… it was more than him just staying in place. Dimly, Fukuro became aware that his hands actually hurt from punching the Dugong. Hurt enough that he was getting a Power Level reading. A Power Level reading that he dearly, dearly hoped was a mistake. Because there was no way the animal could have leaped from a notch below Jabra and Kaku to push Rob Lucci.
"—West Blue, South Blue—"
But if there was one thing, above all else, that had been pounded into him by his training, it was this: Power Levels didn't lie.
"SHAVE!" Fukuro frantically yelped, blurring away as fast as his legs could push him.
"Paradise…"
A hum, and Fukuro hastily clamped on the brakes as Boss appeared right in front of him.
"And New World."
Sadly for the assassin, it was too little too late, and as his momentum carried him forwards against his will, Fukuro hastily packed on the hardest Iron Body he was physically capable of before he slid into Boss' outstretched fists.
"Full-Shell Style: Six Oceans Gun."
Said Iron Body shattered like so much glass beneath the sheer and utter force that crunched into his gut, knocking him unconscious in an instant.
The force was, in fact, so strong that it then sent the rotund assassin flying back like a cannonball, following which he slammed-
"YEOW!"
Right into Chopper's stunned form.
Boss huffed and puffed as he watched Fukuro bounce onto the dock, taking a moment to catch his breath.
Once he was sure that his opponent was truly down and out and that the full-body ache from the half-powered attack had gone down, he lashed his fist out and slammed a backhanded punch into the wall of the Tower of Justice. He held the pose for a second before allowing himself to glance up. He promptly adopted a smirk in response to what he saw.
"What the heck was that!?" Franky shouted at him in shock.
Boss chuckled to himself as he bowed his head, turning his back on the newly formed crack that ran up the entire bottom half of the split tower.
"That, my friend," he announced proudly as he puffed on his cigar. "Was I finally starting to make good on a promise?"
Before anything further could be said, the world suddenly fell... silent.
Boss glanced up in confusion. He opened his mouth to say something-
And then the very world seemed to roar.
-o-
Fighting Hattori was both easier and harder on the Tower's sea landing than in the stairwell. Easier, because I had more room to maneuver and could aim properly with Lassoo, forcing Hattori to stick to ranged attacks lest he be turned into a roast pigeon by time-fused baseballs. Harder, on the other hand, because the exact same thing applied to Hattori. He was ducking and weaving and barrel-rolling around the exploding baseballs like a goddamn pro, and I had yet to land an actual hit on him.
In other words, we were at a stalemate. The real loser of the battle was the masonry around us, which we were abusing like… like… oh hell, I don't know, something mildly offensive. I was tired as all hell and sick of this damn fight. I didn't have time for quips!
"Hey, birdbrain!" I called up as I dodged out of the way of yet another Tempest Wing and retaliated with a Cani-Blaze. "I'm getting real sick of this here pissing contest! What do you say we finish this off like true and proper men?"
"Two final ultimate attacks launched at the same time?" Hattori called down.
"Strongest takes all," I confirmed as I raised my cannon.
"Very well, Cross," Hattori declared with a nod as he flapped to a halt. "I accept your challenge!" And with that, he wheeled around and started flying off into the distance.
"What's he doing?" I muttered, before jerking in shock as a visible sheen came over his wings. Then he started spinning. "Ooooh, that can't be good…" I whispered before giving Soundbite a hesitant look. "How good would you say this so-called surefire move of yours is?"
"Put it this way…" Soundbite leaned his head to the side with a smirk. "You're gonna wanna take a knee."
Lassoo and I exchanged wary glances, but I complied nonetheless and did as Soundbite ordered before raising Lassoo to aim at the bird. "Now what?"
Soundbite clenched his eyes shut in concentration. "LASSOO, you need to time your bomb to go off a foot in front of the RAT. CAN YOU DO THAT?"
"Yeah, but he'll just dodge again," Lassoo warned him.
"THE HELL HE WILL. DO IT."
"If you say so…" the dog grunted wearily.
I gritted my teeth nervously as I watched the cyclone of death that Hattori had become rocket ever closer. "Soundbite…"
"Hattori was wrong earlier, you know?" Soundbite replied calmly. "I DON'T JUST PROJECT MY VOICE. RATHER… IT'S LIKE I HAVE CONTROL of the world's mixer board."
"Soundbite," I stressed as the killer bird shot closer.
"I CAN TELL that you're confused. THAT'S FAIR. JUST LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION: When is a sound at its utter loudest?"
I opened my mouth to tell my snail to stop screwing around—!… and then I found that I couldn't.
In fact, I found that I couldn't say anything at all. Say or hear, for that matter. No matter how much I strained my ears, no matter what I tried, the world was…
"A SOUND IS AT ITS LOUDEST…" Soundbite opened his eyes and regarded Hattori with a firm glare. "WHEN IT OCCURS IN UTTER SILENCE. FIRE."
I promptly complied, pulling Lassoo's trigger and blasting a baseball bomb at our ever-approaching enemy.
"In the land of silence," Soundbite scrunched his eyestalks shut and bowed them as he whispered.
A foot away from the cyclone that was Hattori, the bomb detonated in a blast of smoke and fire.
"He who has a voice."
Hattori ducked up and over the blast, avoiding it entirely.
"Is GOD!" Soundbite snapped his eyestalks up with a furious glare. "GASTRO-CANI-COMBO: BASS CANNON!"
And before the pigeon could react, the sound of the explosion smashed into him like a freight train, slapping him out of the air like the hand of God itself.
It was… awe-inspiring really. Even without being in the direct line of the attack, the sheer volume was enough that it felt like the whole world was exploding at once. And Hattori wasn't the only one struck either, because a wave of noise also smashed into Chopper and Fukuro, blasting them into the water.
And then, as swift as it started, the noise ended, and all that was left was the crashing of the waves and a slight ringing in our ears.
The moment of peace was broken by Hattori's limp and bloodied form slamming into the dock.
Soundbite preened proudly. "Am I badass or what?"
I promptly got my wits back and shot a victorious grin at him. "You just polarized the volumes of that explosion and the world so that the explosion would be loud enough to hit like a physical force! That is so badass!"
"The most badass of all!" Lassoo howled.
"THANK YOU, thank you!" Soundbite bowed his head proudly.
Franky gaped in awe for a moment before getting back the wherewithal to cackle. "God damn, that is one SUPER! snail!"
"Psh," Boss scoffed as he ground the heel of his palm into his forehead, barely hiding the smile he was sporting. "Speak for yourself, you don't have to live with him. He's going to be so insufferable…"
That got my attention, and I goggled at the dugong in shock. "What the hell are you still doing here!?"
"Eh?" Boss blinked at me in confusion. "What are you—?"
"We have an anchor sinking! Move, Boss, MOVE!"
"SHIT!" the Dugong cursed furiously before diving into the water.
"And you!" I snapped at Franky as I jogged over to him. "Bottle of Cola, now!"
"What!?" Franky scoffed incredulously. "What do I look like to you, a walking fridge?!"
I gave him a flat look as I jabbed a finger into his abdomen. "Honestly? Yes. More specifically," I jerked my thumb at Soundbite. "You look like someone with an available beverage with which I can clear my snail's flour-clogged gullet. Look, he just needs a mouthful to gargle, so hand it over, alright?"
Franky rolled his eyes with an aggravated growl as he popped his gut open and took out his last remaining bottle, causing his pompadour to droop. "Fine. But for the record, I don't like the idea of backwash, got it?"
"Trust me, THIS IS AS PLEASANT FOR ME as it is for you," Soundbite assured him as I stuck the bottle between his teeth and took in a mouthful.
"Whatever you say. So, anyway, Franky turned his attention to the Bridge off in the distance. "Mind if I ask you a question while we wait for Boss?"
"You just did," I smirked.
"Tsk, smartass. Anyways, you got an idea for how we're getting off this rock?"
"Eh…" I waved my hand casually. "An idea, yeah. You'll see."
"Not gonna specify, huh? Lemme guess, then…" Franky smirked as he pointed at the bridge. "We'll be pulling some turnabout and commandeering one of those battleships over there, aren't we?"
I chuckled. "Well, maybe we'll do that as a backup, and we'll certainly have to try raiding the—BATTLESHIPS?!" I howled as I snapped my full attention to the Bridge for the first time.
"PFFFFFT!"
"YEOW, WATCH THE COLA, DAMN IT!"
I pointedly ignored the cyborg in favour of staring at not one, but two separate Battleships flanking the Bridge of Hesitation.
Usopp hadn't reported the Gates opening, and they sure the hell didn't open while we were approaching… which meant that they'd been there since before we'd arrived.
And that… that could only mean one thing.
"There are reinforcements waiting on the Bridge…" I whispered in horror. "Shit."
-o-
"This… isn't good," Su summarized weakly as she cowered behind her partner's back.
The sentiment was one that was shared by all members of the extraction team on the Bridge of Hesitation, on account of the opponents they were currently facing.
Not the mob of Marine soldiers before them, no, they could have handled them with relative ease.
Rather… the issue at the moment was the pair of figures who were leading the Marines, and standing right in between them and their crewmate.
"Hmph," a large, heavyset, practically ape-like Marine grunted as he cocked the rifle he was carrying, holding it with a precision and subtlety that his frame belied. "So, the pirates actually managed to reach us. How unfortunate. I'd hoped that we'd have been able to accomplish this mission without bloodshed."
"As if their presence makes a difference, KAPOW!" The other Marine, a relatively fit man wearing a flamboyant headpiece and goggles, cried as he struck a pose. "We are the heroes of Justice, PCHOO! And they are the villainous pirates, BLAM! We'll beat them and walk away scott free, it's only natural, WABAM!" The goggle-wearer then brought his arms up defensively, his forearms starting to spin into blurs. "Are you ready, Captain Gorilla, VROOM!?"
The animal-ish Captain snorted as he levelled his rifle at the pirates. "I said I 'hoped' we wouldn't get into a fight, Captain Sharinguru. Don't take that to mean that I'm neglectful."
"HAHAHA! THAT'S RIGHT! GORILLA, SHARINGURU, CHARGE! GET THEM!" Spandam yelled joyfully as he continued dragging a furiously resisting Robin down the bridge, flanked by a number of shield-toting soldiers to guard him from the sniper that had been bombarding them from the Tower of Justice. "SHOW THEM THE TRUE MIGHT OF THE MARINES! WAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"
Vivi and Conis took a second to digest their situation before exchanging panicked glances.
"Shit."