Nine minutes later, the streets of Water 7 were filled with civilians, their eyes and mouths wide open as they stared at the vulgar display unfolding. Some were simply averting their eyes. Some were trying and failing to look away. A few were even wiping nosebleeds. One notable old woman was yelling angrily at a small group of children, pointing towards the chase and telling the children not to follow her finger.
Naturally, this led to them disobeying and laying eyes on the Franky Family as they fled, holding a blue speedo like a flag, and their boss, naked from the waist down, charging furiously after them.
"YOU STUPID SONS OF BITCHES!" Franky roared, swinging his fists like pistons as he ran. "GIVE ME BACK MY SPEEDO, RIGHT NOW!"
"KEEP RUNNING!" Zambai shouted in contradiction, pushing himself to run as fast and as hard as he could to keep ahead of his big bro. "I KNOW THIS HURTS—!"
"AND IS GONNA HURT IN A LOT OF WAYS IF HE CATCHES US!" Kiwi added.
"BUT THIS IS FOR HIS SAKE!" Zambai forged on. "WE GOTTA KEEP RUNNING, EVEN IF HE KILLS US!"
"YOU DAMN—! Wait a second…" Franky screeched to a halt and glanced around at the surrounding neighbourhood, causing his family to stop dead as well. "The way we're going… oh ho hooo…" the cyborg shook his head with a chuckle. "Smart. You're all gonna catch hell for this later on, but still, smart. And this whole thing would 'a worked, too… if not for one iiiity bitty thing."
The three brains of the Franky Family exchanged wary glances before looking back at their leader. "Oh, yeah?" they asked uneasily. "What's that?"
Franky grinned malevolently as he dug through his vest. "Well, after hanging around with the Straw Hats for a while, I've learned a thing or two about having back-ups in place. As such, while I was out getting the Adam Wood for the Straw Hat's ship, I also got…" He whipped something out and held it proudly in the air. "This!"
All the Franky Family could do was gape in horror at what their boss was letting wave out.
"Oh, shit…" Zambai breathed numbly.
"He outsmarted us," Kiwi moaned. "How is that even possible!?"
"How did we not think that he could do this?" Mozu cursed.
"OH, COME OFF IT ALREADY!" Franky bit out indignantly. "IS IT THAT CRAZY TO THINK THAT I COULD BUY A BACK-UP PAIR OF SPEEDOS!?"
"HELL YES!" the Franky Family shouted back.
The rest of the onlooking public, meanwhile, had a slightly… different opinion. Namely?
"JUST PUT THE DAMN THING ON ALREADY!"
Franky winced as a tin can bounced off his temple. "Alright, alright, eesh, keep your shirts on…" And with that, the cyborg lowered the swimwear, prepared to step into it—
"YOINK!"
"GAH!" He was nearly yanked off his feet when a blur shot past him and snatched the Speedos out of his hands. "What the—HELL!?" Franky sputtered incredulously as he caught sight of a certain tyke riding a certain reindeer holding his speedos down the street. "REINDEER-BRO? MERRY!? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"
"TEACHING YOU THAT IT AIN'T SMART TO BE STUPID!" Merry shot back. Her smirk then widened as she held up the Speedos next to her mouth. "Still, though, good choice. Is this spandex I smell or—?"
"If you eat that, I'm pumping your stomach!" Chopper snapped over his shoulder at her.
Merry pouted as she stuffed the Speedos in her jacket. "Spoilsport…"
Chopper shook his head in a long-suffering manner before looking back at Franky. "Anyway, if you want your Speedos back, come and get us!"
Franky ground his teeth furiously and seemed about two seconds away from doing just that, up until his family finally got their act together and produced the Fire Anything Cannon, rolling it towards the cyborg. Said cyborg tried to move away from it—
"Eisen Tempo."
"GAH!"
Only for a massive fist of clouds to snatch him up and hold him high in the air in spite of his frantic flailing. Franky only had a second to catch sight of the serenely smiling second mate waving at him before the clouds not-so-gently decided to stuff him down the barrel of the cannon head-first.
"I assume you can handle the rest," she asked, dusting her hands off as her clouds jabbed Franky as far down the barrel as they could manage.
"You're damn right we can!" Zambai swiftly responded before snapping out orders at the rest of the Franky Family. "Come the hell on, everyone! Put your damn backs into it! Raise the barrel! AIM FOR SCRAP ISLAND!"
"IF YOU SONS OF BITCHES FIRE THIS THING, I'M GONNA—!"
BLAM!
"—YEEEOOOOW!" was the last thing that was heard as Franky was suddenly sent flying.
Nami whistled as she shadowed her eyes in order to better watch the cyborg soar. "Nice shot."
"I'm no expert, but I'm very impressed by the top-spin I'm seeing," Chopper mused.
"Ya know what really gets me?" Merry added, tilting her head thoughtfully. "For a guy who's visibly top-heavy and is mostly metal, Big Bro Franky's surprisingly aerodynamic."
"Hmm…" Nami hummed in agreement before waving her hand. "Well, c'mon, we'd better hurry and get back to the Sunny with his undies; unless we have those hostages, he'll probably just run off again."
"Right," Chopper nodded, and no sooner had he looked at the nearest canal than three Yagara bulls swam up, offering their backs. "So, you guys think you can get us there before Franky pulls himself together?"
The grins splitting their faces were simultaneously reassuring and worrying.
-o-
The rest of the crew, myself included, watched as the proof of our crewmates' success crashed into a mountain of wreckage. With all of the experience I had with my captain's ham-handedness, I couldn't keep from wincing in sympathy. But I couldn't fight down a grin either.
Admittedly, there was a bit of a scare when our friends didn't get back before Franky arrived, but thankfully, the cyborg must have happened to clock his head against a particularly thick piece of ship, because he was still stuck and twitching in the pile by the time the Union got them back. Unfortunately, however, that meant we had an… extended period of time where Franky was stuck. Headfirst. Showing off his… bottom half to everyone watching. And going by the screaming and shouting coming from the city, that was a lot of people.
Urgh… some moments of the journey are glorious, but others…
Finally, Franky shoved himself out of the junk pile just as our away team got back on board. The cyborg spent a second blinking around in confusion before smirking as he caught sight of the Sunny. "So, you bastards actually got me here, huh? Well, while I'm here… Hey, Straw Hat! Whaddaya think of the ship, huh? Have you checked out—?"
"Cram it, Franky!" Merry interrupted, levelling an acrid glare at him. "You know that Big Bro Thousand Sunny is perfect! If you've got anything you wanna show us, why don't you come up here and do it yourself!?"
"Ah," Franky flinched uncomfortably, scratching his chin as he pointedly looked away. "That's, ah…"
"But hey," Merry shrugged innocently as she dug what I could only assume was Franky's speedo out of her coat. "Don't take it from me…" She grinned as she tossed the undies to our captain. "Take it from him."
Luffy accepted the undergarments with a wider grin than anyone in his position should have and waved them in the air as proudly as our flag. "FRANKY!" he bellowed. "IF YOU WANT YOUR SPEEDOS BACK—Oh, hey, these are soft, do you have any—?"
"LUFFY!"
"Right! IF YOU WANT THEM BACK, THEN YOU NEED TO ACCEPT YOUR PLACE ON MY CREW! WHAT DO YOU SAY?"
"…What do I say?" Franky slowly bowed his head with a chuckle. "Well, in a situation like this, where my only options are my pride or my decency…"
"Oh, lord…" I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose, because I could already tell where this was going.
"THEN I SHALL LET MY PRIDE STAND PROUD!" Franky howled as he struck the most revealing pose he could. "EVEN AS I STAND NUDE!"
I winced as a renewed round of screams started up from the city. "Damn it all, Franky, this is why I can't start up the SBS yet!"
"Do we weawwy need him on owah cweh?" Carue groaned as he peeked at the spectacle through his feathers.
"Whoa!" Luffy gasped in astonishment. "I underestimated his determination!"
"Indeed!" Boss declared with a grim frown. "Truly, I did him a disservice in our earlier duel. For never did I suspect for an instant that in truth…"
The two snapped their heads up, tears of pride welling. "TRULY HE IS A MAN AMONG MEN!"
SLAM!
"WHAT THE APOPHIS IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO!?" Vivi howled as she bounced the pair's skulls off the deck.
I shook my head in despair at the display, and I prepared to address the commando-cyborg, but then my attention was diverted by the very familiar sounds of brawling behind us. I cast a flat look at our second- and third-strongest. "Alright, I'll bite: what set those morons off this time?"
"SANJI WAS DISGUSTED BY FRANKY FLASHING the women of Water 7," Soundbite drawled. "While Zoro was impressed by HIS SENSE OF SHAME. OR MORE ACCURATELY, his lack thereof."
I rolled my eyes before raising my voice. "FRANKY! You know my secret, so you know that I know what I'm talking about when I say this: you do not want to keep being stubborn! The nuclear option hurts like hell, for everyone involved!"
Franky looked at me, and seeing my expression, he actually hesitated. And then…
"…make it fast, Robin," I muttered, looking away from the full moon—no, the shaking full moon—I got for my troubles and slapped my hands over my ears.
"Hmm… no," Robin said, grinning coldly as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Dos Fleur… Grab."
What happened next… There are no appropriate onomatopoeia to describe it. No stock sounds for the action itself, nor any appropriate simile for the expression of noise Franky belted out as a result.
But still, I didn't need to describe the noises of the… the crime against man going on behind me to feel a throbbing pain in a place that should never hurt so bad.
"…OK, now I'm legitimately scared of her," Zoro muttered.
"US TOO!" four of our five guards yelped fearfully.
"SOMEONE SNAP A PICTURE!" laughed the fifth.
"Hell, I don't even HAVE THE GEAR, AND I'M HURTING!" Soundbite groaned.
"I AGREED TO BE A MERC WEAPON TO AVOID THIS EXACT SITUATION!" Lassoo yipped as he scrambled for cover.
"Ah! Robin, we still want him to be a man when he joins us!" Luffy protested.
"Oh, don't worry about that," Robin reassured him with a far-too-pleasant smile. "Even if they do happen to detach, I'm certain that Chopper could reattach them."
"FRANKY!" Chopper screamed as he snapped into his Heavy Point. "HURRY THE HELL UP AND GIVE IN ALREADY! I HAVEN'T HAD TO TOUCH ANYONE'S SHAME IN MY ENTIRE TIME AS A DOCTOR, AND I DON'T WANT TO START NOW IF I CAN HELP IT!"
"I… I can't…" Franky gurgled around the mouthful of foam he was choking on. "I… I have to stay here… I really… wouldn't mind going with you, but… I can't be your shipwright… I gave that up a long time ago… this ship… the Thousand Sunny, was it? It's the last… I'll ever make… the best ship the world over… that means my dream is fulfilled, so—!"
"So what, ye damned scrap-lubber!?" Merry barked back, slipping into her buccaneer drawl in the process. "Don't ya realize yer only thinking of yerself, ya darned fool!? If ye really care about Sunny so much, then ye'd think about his feelings too! 'Cause where shipwrights are concerned, the only lubber he wants working on him is ye, ye cola-addled buffoon!"
"I… but I… that's…" Franky shook his head frantically as he worked his way to his feet.
"Franky."
The cyborg snapped his head around at his fellow apprentice. "I-Iceburg?"
"I just have to ask you," Iceburg said, dry as the deserts of Alabasta. "Do you think for even a second that Tom ever blamed you for what happened that day? Do you think that I ever blamed you?"
"You blamed me for a lot of shit, Ice-for-Brains!" Franky snapped.
"Don't change the subject, Flunky," Iceburg snapped right back. "My point is that after all this time, after all you've done for this city and these people, the only person who blames you, who would ever blame you for what happened, is you and you alone! That's why you're chaining yourself here, why you're refusing to go live your dream! When in fact—!" Iceburg choked off slightly before looking away with a sigh. "You should have forgiven yourself a long time ago."
"I… that… AGH!" Franky hunched over with a sudden cry. "It hurts… it hurts!"
"AND IT'S GONNA KEEP HURTING UNTIL YOU GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!"
Franky popped his head up with a confused blink. "Say wha—?"
THWUMP!
"GAH!" Franky yelped when he was suddenly bowled over by a duffel bag that was half his weight. "The hell—!? My go-bag? Where'd this come from?"
"FROM US, BIG BRO!"
He snapped his gaze up to the broken bridge to the city, where the Franky Family was out en masse and watching him tearfully.
"YOU… YOU BASTARDS!" Franky raged as he shook his fists. "STEALING MY SPEEDO!? KICKING ME OUT OF MY OWN DAMN HOUSE?! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU'RE ALL IN FOR A WORLD OF HURT!"
"WE'VE ALL HEARD THOSE WORDS BEFORE, BIG BRO!" Zambai hollered back. "WE'VE ALL SAID THEM BEFORE, EACH OF US, WHEN YOU TOOK US IN! WHEN YOU DRAGGED US IN OUT OF THE COLD AND FORCED US TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER! WE ALL KICKED AND SCREAMED AND FOUGHT, BUT YOU DID IT ANYWAY! AND NOW…" Zambai hastily wiped away his tears so that he could roar in full. "NOW, NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS, WE'RE DOING THIS FOR YOU, BIG BRO! SO THAT YOU CAN BE HAPPY TOO!"
Franky trembled as he stared up at them, mouth agape. Then, without warning, he keeled over again, squirming on the ground and howling like a wounded animal. "OWOWOW, IT HUUUURTS!"
I spared a glance at Robin to confirm that she was leaning against the railing with a contented smile. "So," I deadpanned. "How long did you hold him?"
"Just one squeeze," she chuckled. "And it wasn't even that hard. He's quite the actor. Although…" She tapped her chin as she glanced upward. "I suppose he could be sensitive due to his size. Tell me, do they get more or less sensitive the—?"
"NOT HEARING THIS!" I cried, slapping my hands over my ears.
"IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO MUUUUCH!"
That, however, I did hear, and I turned around to catch sight of Franky pounding the ground in frustration. "But… But if I'm gone…" he wailed. "What… What'll happen to you?!"
"We'll be fine, Big Bro!" Kiwi cried tearfully. "You helped us all get stronger, remember!?"
"We can take care of ourselves!" Mozu sobbed. "We'll miss you, and it'll hurt… but we'll survive, just like you taught us!"
And it wasn't just those two, either.
"We'll miss you, Big Bro! Be safe!"
"We'll always be your family! You'll always have a load of little bros cheering for you, all the way!"
"Stick it to those World Government bastards, right where it hurts!"
"PUT THE DAMN SPEEDO ON, YOU EXHIBITIONIST PERVERT!"
"You… You bastards…" Franky shook his head in despair. "It hurts… it hurts…"
I smiled endearingly as I leaned on the railing to get a better view. "Ahhh… I could watch this forever…"
"MAYDAY, MAYDAY! THE UNION SAYS THAT WE'VE GOT MARINES INCOMING! AND THEY'RE PACKING BACKUP!"
"Or not…" I sighed, hanging my head, before flinching back when most of my crew shot glares at me. "I'd hoped that we'd saved enough time to be out of here by now, sue me! And, ah, lemme guess." I glanced at my snail. "Aokiji's on his ship too?"
"NOT EVEN CLOSE!" Soundbite choked on his own tongue. "Wrong rank and number!"
My blood ran cold as I connected the dots. "Vice Admirals?" I whispered hoarsely.
Soundbite slowly turned his shivering eyes on me. "A HALF-DOZEN PACKING BATTLESHIPS, to be specific."
"FRANKY, GET YOUR NAKED ASS ON THIS TUB RIGHT NOW BEFORE WE ALL GET AN UP-CLOSE AND PERSONAL MEETING WITH DAVY-FREAKING-JONES!" I howled frantically.
Everyone hurried to their assigned positions. Luffy, of course, threw Franky his speedo, and after a moment of hesitation, the cyborg snatched it out of the air.
"What the hell!" the iron perv laughed. "If you're all kicking me in the ass so hard, I might as well go with it! ALRIGHT! MOVE THE HELL OVER, STRAW HATS, 'CAUSE YOU'VE JUST GOTTEN YOURSELVES A SUPER SHIPWRIGHT!"
All of us spared enough time to briefly celebrate at said shipwright finally managing to get over himself, but when he began a slow and very dramatic walk, I shot a glare and spun my finger at my captain. He pouted a bit, but nevertheless, ten seconds later, we had a very stunned and even more naked Franky lying face-down in the grass.
"Say your long-winded and snot-filled farewells on the SBS on your own damn time, numb-nuts!" I ordered. "Because unless we get out of here yesterday, we're going to test Adam Wood against a certain Hero's Meteor Fist! And my bet ain't on the wood!"
"Tch, heartless sonnuva—! BAH, FINE!" Franky promptly snapped up into one of his many poses. "LET'S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!"
"AGREED!" the Kiddy Trio and TDWS concurred as they mirrored his poses.
"I resent that!" Iceburg called up casually.
SLAM!
"AND I RESENT THAT THIS PERVERT STILL HASN'T COVERED UP YET!" Vivi raged as she stood above the suddenly downed cyborg, both her fist and his newly acquired lump smoking profusely. "PUT 'EM ON BEFORE I WELD THEM ON!"
Two seconds later, I found him hastily struggling to work his way into his Speedo. "And she needs will-powered cheating to make people do what she wants, why?" he grumbled.
"Because fate loves fucking with us, that's why!" I answer. "Anyway, you can complain and call it the bullshit that it is later, but right now, we need to get the hell out of here!"
"On it!" Merry cried, hitching a rope ride to the helm, hopping onto a footstool that she got to rise in front of the wheel and grabbing hold of the spokes. "Nami! The log!"
Nami didn't even hesitate to snap her wrist up to her eyeline. "We've been set for the past two days! Turn the prow 68° starboard, north-northwest!"
"Turning the prow 68° starboard, north-northwest!" Merry parroted as she spun the helm appropriately. Then, without missing a beat, she pulled a pair of levers, spun a few winches, and brushed a couple of switches. The result was immediate and impressive: sails dropped down, the twin anchors raised, the rigging adjusted itself, the ship itself turned to face the open sea. In less than ten seconds, Merry had singlehandedly accomplished work that previously took six or more of the crew, and the ship was underway.
I shot a heady grin at Soundbite as the Sunny started to turn. "We have our heading…" I whispered energetically, already starting to feel my blood buzz beneath my skin as we finally-finally-finally returned to the roaring high seas, better than ever.
"Heeheeheehohoho, yea—ERK!" Soundbite suddenly choked and spun his eyes a full 180. "AHHH… NOW WE ONLY HAVE TO SURVIVE LONG ENOUGH to actually follow it."
Dreading what I was going to find, I jogged over to the railing, leaned over the edge, and caught sight of the better (or worse, from our perspective) half of a Buster Call rounding the edge of Water 7.
"Hooo, now that's not a sight I was looking forward to seeing again any time soon…" I breathed.
"—three, four, five, SIX!" Usopp shouted from where he'd clambered up into the rigging. "WE'VE GOT SIX BATTLESHIPS INCOMING, AND EACH OF THEM HAS A VICE ADMIRAL ON THE DECK! And is that… grk!" Usopp choked and flinched fearfully. "THE GUY LEADING IT IS YOUR GRANDPA, LUFFY!"
"WHAT!?" Luffy screamed in panic, instantly shooting over to my side and nearly bowling me over the edge in the process. "Oh-crap-oh-crap-oh-crap—!"
"Luffy, please—Oh, screw it, Luffy, calm down!" Vivi ordered. Her eye then twitched when she was summarily ignored. "For the love of—! Shut up, Luffy!" The princess sighed in relief as our captain's tongue was suddenly glued to the roof of his mouth. "Better. Now, please calm down, Luffy. I realize that your Grandfather is a scary… a very, very, very scary man, but he's still your family! How bad could it possibly be?"
"Going by how the old bulldog looks, he's about to pop a vein or ten?" Mikey called down from where he was hanging upside-down in the rigging by his tail, staring through a pair of binoculars he'd snatched up. "I'd say pretty damn bad!"
Vivi's gaze fell flat as Luffy started running around like a headless chicken again. "Raphey."
Mikey looked up (down) from his binoculars with a confused blink. "Wait, wha—?"
SWISH! THUMP!
"GWAH!" Mikey yelped when the rope he was hanging from suddenly split and dropped him onto a wooden part of the deck.
"Don't be an idiot, dipshit!" Raphey snickered as she reaffixed her oversized shuriken on her back.
THWACK!
"YEOW!" the pink-bandana'd dugong flinched as a pulley swung down and cracked her upside her skull.
"DON'T HURT BIG BRO SUNNY, DIPSHIT!" Merry roared from the helm.
I turned my gaze away from the crew scrambling around and getting Sunny ready for his maiden voyage and turned back towards the Blue Curtain of Justice that had taken up a portion of the horizon. After a moment's watching, I blinked as I realized that I could just barely make out a figure I'm 95% sure was Garp, judging by the white and the… wild gesticulating? Wait…
"Hey, how come the old coot isn't using his megaphone?" I asked no one in particular.
Soundbite responded by somehow popping a vein on his shell. "He's assuming that I'LL HANDLE THAT MYSELF. WHICH ISN'T FUCKING HAPPENING, BY THE BY!" The last phrase was bellowed for all to hear.
I nodded and frowned at the snail. "And… are all of them wearing ear protection?"
"Ah…" Soundbite blinked in confusion. "The lesser ranks are, but the Vice Admirals aren't? And they're not reacting to my BLASTING THEIR EARDRUMS FOR SOME REASON?"
I rolled my eyes with an exasperated tsk. "Haki, ever and always such bullshit. But hey, he wants to sling shit?" I smirked as I dove my hand into my bag. "Then I'll damn well sling. Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to be so abrupt, but the fact of the matter is that I'm assuming that by now most everyone manages to pick up on the first ring." My grin wavered slightly. "Aaand our situation is just a tad desperate right now, so we're starting straight out the gate. And speaking of starting! My name is Jeremiah Cross, and it's time—!"
"—EVEN THINK ABOUT STARTING THE SBS, I'LL TWIST YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF YOUR SCRAWNY NECK!"
My eyes twitched. Repeatedly. "So. It's not enough that people stop me from starting the SBS on purpose, but they have to do it by accident, too."
"I DON'T CARE IF THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT. That bastard cut me off!" Soundbite snarled. "I'LL SUE YOU, OLD MAN!"
"JUST TRY IT, SNAIL! I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT RIGHT BEFORE THEY PUT YOUR SLIMY ASS DOWN!"
"SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU SENILE SONNUVA BITCH!" I roared, balancing on the railing as a number of hands shot out of the woodwork and held me in order to keep me from overbalancing. "I'LL PUNT THE TAPIOCA OUT OF YOU, AND MAKE SURE YOU CAN'T SIT DOWN FOR BINGO FOR WEEKS!"
A tense silence fell for a few moments. Then…
"…Right, screw it. Luffy, you're all gonna die here at sea. I'd say sorry, but where your third mate is concerned, I'm pretty sure I'm doing the world a favour. GET ME MY METEORS!"
I returned everyone's blazing glares with a flat stare. "The hell are you all getting pissy for? He was gonna do this either way; I just cut through the senile jibber-jabber. 'Sides, you all heard him! He threatened Soundbite!"
They exchanged glaring looks for a few seconds, and ultimately, they decided to let it drop. "So, now what?" Boss asked.
"Now he's going to try sinking the ship using the Monkey family special: sheer brute force."
"Meaning…?" Sanji trailed off uncomfortably.
"Meaning duck and freaking cover!" Funkfreed trumpeted, stabbing his trunk into the soil and snapping into his blade-point.
We all had a brief moment to brace for impact—
KA-BLAM!
When a section of Scrap Island's coast suddenly detonated and sent us a-rocking.
Conis slowly slat up with a dazed and terrified look in her eyes. "And he caused that by throwing the cannonball!? But-But that's impossible!"
"Which is something that adolescent Conis can confirm!" Su chuckled.
"Yeah, well, if you want my opinion?" I groused before sticking my head over Sunny's railing. "HEY GARP! YOU THROW LIKE BRETT FAVRE, AND TRUST ME, THAT'S NOT A—GAH!"
"SHUT! THE! HELL! UP! AND! STOP! TRYING! TO! GET! US! ALL! KILLED!" Vivi raged as she wrung my neck and repeatedly bounced my head off the lawn. Good news, though: the grass softened the impacts! Didn't stop the oxygen deficit, though.
"You seem to have officially exhausted your daily limit for provoking people who could kill you with one finger, Cross," Robin chuckled morbidly as she leaned over me.
"Grggkh…" I choked out in response as I tried to pry the snapped Princess off my neck.
"Uhh… guys?" Zoro spoke up with honest curiosity. "Does anyone have an explanation as to how or why the old-timer gave his ship an afro?
"WHAT?!" Boss exclaimed, he and the TDWS snapping their attention towards the ship. He stared for a moment before sagging. "Oh, that's a let-down, that's just a giant cannonball—HOLY SEBEK THAT'S A GIANT CANNONBALL!"
"Grgh-r-ri-GRK! Vivi! Off!"
A wordless snarl was my only response, and then Eisen cloud wrapped around her waist and Nami herself went for her fingers.
"Down, girl," Nami said soothingly as she slowly pried the digits out of my throat. "Save it for when he gets really bad."
It took one more shake, but the princess finally released her grip on me. "This is not over," she swore testily.
I shuddered at the promise before snapping my attention over towards the prow. "Merry, Franky, fire up the—! Ahhh, wait a sec!" I snapped my attention back to my mic. "Sorry, viewers, I'm going to have to take a break here. The SBS will return in a few minutes!"
So, saying I placed the mic on the cradle, to much confusion and surprise, I responded with a simple smirk. "What? This isn't the first time I've shown that I'm smart enough not to blow our secret weapons to everyone. Now, I'd suggest that all of you hang onto your everything, because you're about to experience the first of many, many utterly amazing and unique talents that the Thousand Sunny has to offer."
"Ah, yeah, speaking of which," Franky paused mid-stride. "Is that name set in stone? Because if not, I've got a—!"
"Move yer bleedin' arse, ye iron arse-brain!" Merry barked.
"Right!" Franky yelped, hastily ducking under the deck.
"TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, DAMMIT!" Garp shouted as he threw the… uh… wow, Oda's art didn't really capture the scale, did it? Swear to God, in that moment it looked as big as the moon.
And it was… getting…
"ANYTIME NOW, GUYS!" Soundbite hollered.
"AS CROSS SAID, HANG ON TO YOUR EVERYTHING!" Franky's voice yelled out from below decks. "BUT MOST OF ALL!? HANG ONTO YOUR UNDERWEAR! COUP DE…"
"CAPTAIN! Do the thing I had you do at Navarone, hurry!" I said hastily.
"Eh?" Luffy glanced at me before grinning massively. "Oh, right, that! Soundbite?"
"YOU'RE good!"
"HEY, GRAMPS! OTHER MARINES!" Luffy laughed back at the rest of the fleet pursuing us. "YOU GUYS' LL ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS AS THE DAY YOU ALMOST CAUGHT MONKEY D. LUFFY—"
"BURST!"
"AND THE STRAW HAT PIRA—"
BOOM!
"—AAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
"PFHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" I whooped eagerly as I hung onto the lawn for dear life. And honestly, that was all I could do. Because then and there? The wind whipping past us, the very clouds streaming around and over our ship… There was only one word for it all. "WE'RE FLYING AGAIN! WOOHOOHOOHOO! THIS IS AWESOME!"
"BEST! SHIP! EVER!" Luffy laughed.
"YOU KNOW IT, CAPTAIN!" Merry cheered, hanging on to the helm like a small and overly-eager flag.
"I definitely like it!" Zoro said, cackling into the wind. "He's got spirit, lots of it!"
"Of course he does, that's how I built him!" Franky replied from his control room.
"TO GO THIS FAR, THIS FAST, ALL AT ONCE!?" Boss puffed his chest with pride as he stood upon the railing. "SO MANY WORDS… BUT AT THEIR CORE, TRULY!" He leapt up- "A MAN'S RO—GWAH!" He winced as he was pancaked into a wall by the air pressure. "…unwise, but still. A MAN'S ROMANCE!"
"GO, BOSS, GO!" The TDWS concurred.
Everyone else, well… it was a mix of relief, awe, and excitement, to varying levels.
I looked around at the sea zipping past us before flinging my head back with a laugh.
"PFHAHAHA! IN CASE I HAVEN'T SAID IT ENOUGH?" I shouted into the wind. "I SERIOUSLY LOVE THIS CREW!"
-o-
Most of the Marines assembled at Water 7 spent the moment gaping at the sight of the Straw Hat Pirates escaping them by flying. One or two of the Vice Admirals were grumbling about not seeing it coming after Enies, and as for Garp himself?
"…tsk. Shiki did it better," he muttered, unable to stop a proud grin coming over his face. "But I shouldn't have expected anything less from my grandson."
"Fleet Admiral Sengoku is not going to be happy about this, Garp," reported Vice Admiral Dalmatian from nearby. "So, unless you'd like to experience his recently shortened temper for yourself, I recommend that we take some initiative while we're here and handle the seceded nation of Water 7."
Garp's grin faded, and he scoffed as he side-eyed the Vice Admiral across ships. "Yeah, great idea, kibble-breath. Only one nice big hulking problem with it."
"And that would be?" Dalmatian snorted, wisely deciding not to argue with the Hero of the Marines concerning his nicknaming practices.
The hero picked his nose with his pinky as he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. "The question of what army we'd use. Ya know, against theirs?"
Attention turned away from the speck that the Straw Hats' fleeing ship had become over towards the island of Water 7.
More specifically? Towards the hodge-podge armada that had boiled out from the island's many docks and piers. Nearly a dozen ships the size of their own battleships formed the center, from three gargantuan grain haulers with holes cut in their sides to the four-deck, purpose-built Royal Charles originally intended as a vanity project by a South Blue kingdom. All bristled with enough cannons to make even the turret crews nervous.
Flanking this force on all sides were smaller ships of all sizes, ranging from race-built frigates to rowboats with a single gun sticking out over the bow. And at the front was the oddest collection of contraptions any of the officers save Garp had ever seen. A tin can on a smoking raft, gleaming in the sunlight, with two wide muzzles poking out. Flat barges lugging squat, rounded mortars or organ-like rocket launchers. One small schooner carrying a gun longer than the ship itself. Another that appeared to be entirely inflatable. A third with three odd tubes sticking out of the foredeck.
Hell, there was even an entirely circular ship wobbling to and fro on the water with a pair of cannons stuck on almost as an afterthought.
And those were just the guns on the boats. Scrap Island, meanwhile, was suddenly bristling like an angry metal porcupine with stray cannon muzzles.
"Ahem, excuse me?"
All attention turned to the middle of Scrap Island, where Mayor Iceburg had a megaphone raised and the best shipwrights on the island beside him. While they were staring down the battleships with narrowed eyes, Iceburg was content with a relaxed smile.
"Attention, Marines," he called over. "You are currently in restricted waters. Kindly vacate the premises at your earliest convenience. Should you fail to vacate, well…"
B-B-BOOM!
The Marines jumped as a half-dozen explosions sounded out across the local waters, sending up plumes of water dangerously close to what the crews of each battleship knew to be the weakest parts of their hulls.
"I cannot promise your safety. After all…" Iceburg tilted his head just a tad to the side. "There could be any manner of accidents if you get too close to shipwrights' working areas."
While the rest of the Vice Admirals blustered and stiffened, Garp regarded Iceburg for a minute or so before heaving a sigh when, just for a moment, he saw a flash of one of the largest (and most yellow) fishmen he'd ever met. "Generation xeroxing left and right… When the hell am I going to get my clone in another body, eh?"
"Ah, Vice Admiral, sir?"
Garp glanced over his shoulder at Coby, who was holding a salute with an ill-hidden grin. "Your orders, Vice Admiral?" he requested.
Garp stared at him for a second longer before shooting a smirk dead ahead, rubbing a finger under his nose. "Asked and answered… Coby!"
"Sir!"
"Spread the word to reverse course and make for the Tub Current. We came here for the Straw Hats, and we failed. Someone else will handle Water 7. For now?" Garp spun on his heel and marched towards the raised superstructure of his ship. "We're headed home."
-o-
After the rush of the Sunny's first Coup de Burst wore off—a Coup de Burst that apparently took five barrels of Cola due to the increased size of the ship—the entire crew stood on the deck as I restarted the SBS.
"He-llo, everybody, and welcome back to the SBS broadcast, episode 4-9-3!" Soundbite cheered in a British accent.
"…I'm sorry, what?" I questioned, too puzzled by the oddity of the snail's statement to be upset about him stealing my line. "I don't think we've even had one hundred broadcasts yet."
"EH, two references in one. 493 IS THE END of generation four, SINCE THIS IS THE END OF THE FOURTH LEG!"
I thought about that and nodded. "Alright, that makes sense. And the second?"
"More obscure reference to a sponsor."
"Sponsor?" I blinked in confusion. "We don't have sponsors."
"Eh?" Soundbite blinked right back. "No duh, we DON'T HAVE SPONSORS, THE HELL ARE YOU—?!"
"MOVING ON!" I barked hastily as I pegged onto what had just happened. "As you'll recall, we last left off while escaping from our Marine pursuers, through means which we will not be disclosing." I grinned cheekily. "Need to keep some surprises in reserve, dontcha know? And now that we have a moment of peace, it's time for us to properly celebrate the result of our journey. As such, I gracefully cede the mic to our captain, who is about to propose a toast."
"RIGHT!" Luffy grinned, raising his mug. "I remember how to do this from Shanks! Ah, let's see… To the safe return of Robin!"
Robin smiled politely as she knocked her frothing mug with mine.
"To the new life of Merry!"
"LET'S GET KEEL-FACED!" the ship-girl roared as she raised her pair of extra-large mugs. Apparently, a benefit of being only partially human was an insanely high tolerance for alcohol.
"And to our newest crewmates: Franky—"
"The SUPER! shipwright of the Straw Hats!" said cyborg bellowed, doing his usual pose.
"—and our new ship, the Thousand Sunny!" Luffy finished.
A gust of wind hit us at just the right angle to elicit a roar from Sunny.
"He just said 'bring it on!'" Merry provided.
All present (with the necessary appendages) raised their mugs alongside Luffy as he raised his own.
"EVERYONE!" Luffy cheered. "HERE'S TO THE NEXT ISLAND! AND TO ALL OUR ADVENTURES TO COME! KANPAI!"
"KANPAI!" we cheered in unison.
"And here's to us actually getting to relax a little in the meantime," I whispered to Robin under my breath, getting a giggle in response.
-o-
As the SBS went on, the old man didn't bother hiding an earsplitting grin, nor did he attempt to stop the tears of joy that streamed down his face.
"You kids are something else," Mekao whispered. "To see a Klabautermann is rare in itself. To speak to one is even more mythical. But to have loved your ship that much… so much that your new one is part of your family from the day of its birth…"
Mekao shook his head and turned back to his fellow shipwrights. Eight days ago, no matter how much he spoke about the right way to treat ships, they had always shrugged it off with amusement. Now there wasn't a single soldier among them who didn't hang onto Mekao's every word.
The grin on his face was starting to hurt as he raised his bottle. "This is a legitimate cause for celebration! To the crew who truly love their ship, who truly love them in return! To the crew who has reawakened the world's understanding of how to take care of their seacrafts! To the Straw Hat Pirates: may their impossible works never cease!"
"Kanpai!" the soldiers shouted in agreement before knocking their drinks back with him.
-3 Weeks Later-
"Mayor Iceburg!"
The mayor looked up from the blueprints that he had been perfecting and poring over for almost a month now, staring up with a curious frown at the one who had called him. "What is it, Oimo?"
"We just got word from our bosses! They'll be arriving here in an hour or two."
An ear-to-ear grin stretched Iceburg's face. "Excellent. Gather everyone together, I'll want to make my proposal straightaway. Oh, and can you handle the blueprints?"
Oimo guffawed as he took the pages from Iceburg and left, planning to gather the few other giants who had arrived at the island before the Ogres. Iceberg, at the same time, began gathering every last member of the Galley-La Company for what was easily the biggest, hardest, and most rewarding project they would ever undertake.
-o-
Naturally, the two ogres had parked their palm-log raft at the small plain where pirates had usually docked. After all, that was where the best ale could be had. Or, well, something similar to ale.
"This 'beer' is interesting," Dorry rumbled, taking a sip from the barrel he was holding. "The 'hops' give it a faint bitter tone that works surprisingly well."
"Bah!" Broggy scoffed, rolling his own barrel back over to Dorry and grabbing a different one. "Give me regular ale any day of the week, rather than that horse piss you're drinking."
"Horse piss?" Dorry repeated, shooting a glare at his long-time rival and partner. "Care to say that again?"
"Of course I—" Broggy began, only for a loud cough to catch their attention. Both of them glanced down at Iceburg, who lowered his fist from his mouth and shot a flat stare at both of them.
"I think I speak for a lot of people when I say we'd rather you don't get in another century-long honour duel," he blandly stated.
Both giants had the good grace to look sheepish at that. "Ah, Oimo told us you had a proposal for a ship for the new Giant Warrior Pirates?" Dorry said, faintly flushed in embarrassment.
"I do," Iceburg stated. "For your payment as well, seeing as you undoubtedly don't have any coffers left either."
"Damn looters raiding all our gold stashes…" Dorry spat to the side.
"Damn rats eating the rest…" Broggy concurred before casting a grateful gaze at Iceburg. "We'll take whatever charity you can offer us, Mayor Iceburg."
"Trust me, this isn't charity," Iceburg assured him. "Though before we begin, I'd prefer to wait until Oimo returns with the blueprints—"
As if on cue, Oimo and Kashi picked that moment to land on the plain from where they'd jumped off the city walls, quickly jogging up to where their captains were.
"Mayor, I brought the blueprints!" Oimo eagerly reported.
"And I convinced the rest of the giants not to go starry-eyed until after we complete our business!" Kashi added.
"Thank you both," Iceburg said. "Now we can begin. I assume that you are all familiar with our plight where Aqua Laguna is concerned?"
"Of course," Dorry nodded sadly. "We knew this city many generations ago. You've managed to improve it over the years, but…"
"A lot of good bars and districts have sunken beneath the waves…" Broggy sighed remorsefully. "It's really a sad thing."
"Oimo, the blueprints, please."
The giant grinned and produced the giant-sized pile of design papers that he and Kashi had helped draw for his two captains to look over. And despite them not having much expertise in the way of shipbuilding, they understood what they were looking at in an instant. And their jaws subsequently dropped.
"Converting an island… into a ship…" Dorry breathed.
"Pretty ballsy, huh, bosses?" Kashi chuckled.
"Pretty nutty, I'll say!" Broggy shot back. "And hell, even if it does work out, there's still the issue of time and resources! This is gonna cost ten different kinds of bundles, and you'll be long dead before this is ever completed!"
"And, normally, I'd be alright with that," Iceburg nodded in concession. "But in recent weeks… I've become aware of an alternative. An alternative that will save us, in your own words, 'ten different kinds of bundles.'"
"Oh, yeah?" Dorry cocked an eyebrow. "What?"
"Not what, Boss, who!" Oimo corrected.
"And by who, he means us!" Kashi nodded.
The Giant Warrior Captains exchanged confused glances before looking back at their subordinates. "Come again?"
"Over the course of the past few weeks, your men have been helping us repair the devastation that CP9 left in their wake," Iceburg explained. "The damage was extensive, and normally would have required months to repair in full, but thanks to the aid of but two giants, capable of doing the work of at least a hundred men apiece on an incredible scale, Water 7 is already back on its feet in a fraction of the estimated time."
"Hrm…" Dorry scratched his chin thoughtfully. "And that was with the aid of only two giants… and seeing as we'll be gathering our crew both new and old here…"
"So, basically," Broggy picked up. "You're saying that you'll let us work off our debt by helping you renovate the city, is that it?"
"That's part of it, but not all of it," Iceburg replied. "You see, now that we've seceded from the World Government, we're going to be in constant danger from pirates and the world government alike. Our civilians are used to leading… interesting lives, which comes from living in the Grand Line, but they still have their limits. Hence, protection will be an ever-present issue, even with all of the shipwrights on the island cooperating, and then there will be the issue of properly crewing a vessel the size of Water 7… as you can see, there are a host of issues."
"Issues that could be solved, once again, by the involvement of giants," Broggy nodded slowly.
"So, we lend you our crew to crew this island, you build us our ship?" Dorry guessed.
"Something like that…" Iceburg nodded slowly, before donning a confident grin. "Only on a more permanent and, shall we say, mutually beneficial set of terms."
It took a full minute after the mayor finished, but the realization struck like thunder.
"…So, you're asking us not only to have our crew help convert this entire island into a ship…" Dorry began.
"But then to use Water 7 as our pirate ship?" Broggy finished.
"In broad strokes, with many finer details to be hammered out, most important of all, the safety of our civilians over the course of your adventures… but in essence, yes," Iceburg responded. "So, do we have a deal?"
The giants exchanged looks. There was silence. More silence. And then it broke.
"GEGYAGYAGYAGYAGYAGYAGYAGYAGYA!/GABABABABABABABABABABABABA!"
"Dorry!" Broggy managed to get out as he clapped a hand on his friend's back hard enough to cause tremors. "I'm currently of the opinion that in our absence, the world has gone completely insane! GABABABABA!"
"I agree completely, Broggy!" Dorry guffawed just as uproariously, clutching his gut as he shook. "And I'm currently of the opinion that I love it! GEYAGYAGYAGYA!"
"I'll take that as a resounding 'hell yes'," Iceburg chuckled as he removed a flask from his back pocket and raised it in a toast. "Very well, then! Let us drink to our newly minted arrangement!"
"To the Giant Warrior's future ship, the Water 7!" Dorry swiftly raised his own giga-sized bottle.
"And to the ones who even made this arrangement possible to begin with, the Straw Hat Pirates!" Broggy finished with his own bottle. "May they enjoy equally good fortune in their adventures, wherever they might be!"
-o-
"You have got to be fucking kidding me…" I growled acridly, balancing my chin on my fists. The reason for my foul mood was the sub-zero ice pit that not only I, but the majority of my crewmates, found ourselves in.
"Captured, after how far we've come," I spat. "By a bunch of two-bit, half-rate, half-wit filler villains. This. Is. Bullshit."
"You seem… unhappy," Conis deduced from where she was sitting across the cell.
"Of course I'm unhappy!" I snapped, throwing my arms up in the air. "I mean, at least this isn't Rain Dinners all over again—"
"We beg to differ!" Nami and Zoro bellowed from where they were hanging from their ankles by a pair of frosted-over chains, their arms secured behind their backs.
"But I'm still pissed that we got tricked in here!"
"You mean you're upset at yourself for not seeing this coming?" Usopp retorted, his chin on his own fists as well.
I pursed my lips and lowered my hands. "Well, you're not wrong…" I snapped my head up with a growl as I slammed my fist into the frozen wall. "But I'm not entirely at fault, either! This bit was called the 'Ice Hunter' arc for a reason: the Accino family controls this entire iceberg field. I only ever saw a fraction of their playbook, and they were way more on the ball than I thought was possible! Plus…" I shook my head darkly. "They were, to reiterate, filler villains. By the time I remembered that they were going to be gunning for our Jolly Roger or that the Phoenix Pirates were under their heel, it was too late!"
"Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me," Sanji drawled as he took a drag from his cigarette.
"Oh, fuck off, lover boy!" I snapped. "I didn't see you Diable Jambe-ing that ice-skating skank when you had the chance!"
Despite the cold, Sanji's last cigarette still ashed in an instant. "Why, you—!" He tried to leap at me, but he was yanked up short by the leg-irons he was sporting.
"Well, at least there's a bright side," Franky piped up as he idly shifted around in the mass of chains he was all but mummified in.
"What possible bright side could there be in this case?" Nami twisted her head around so that she could properly glare at the cyborg.
"Well, Luffy's still out there, so—!"
"—a piece of meat! Oh, a piece of meat! Oh, a piece of meat!"
Soundbite and I slowly shared an uneasy glance as we heard Luffy's voice approaching above us. "Why do I feel like I've heard this bit before?" I asked in great trepidation.
THWAP!
I stared at the newly-cooked piece of meat that had just landed in the center of the pit before knocking the back of my head against the wall with a defeated sigh. "Look out above."
"Oh, a piece of mea—WHOA!"
THUMP!
I regarded our captain with a dry stare. "Hello, Luffy. What brings you here?"
"Hey, Cross!" Luffy responded as he munched down on the steak he'd dove down to get before glancing around at the rest of the crew in confusion. "I found a trail of meat leading into here from the cold! What're you doing here?"
"Getting mani-pedis at the Ice-Hole Holiday Inn," I snarked. "What does it look like?"
"As you all got captured," Luffy nodded, before jerking in realization. "Ah! You're all captured!"
"Quaaa…" Carue drawled in tired resignation.
"Well, don't worry!" Luffy nodded confidently as he started winding his arm up. "I'll get out of here real quick, and then I'm gonna—!"
CLANK!
"Hurl…" Luffy collapsed to his knees with a groan.
"Yet another perfect slapshot, Hockera! Well done!" a boisterous voice guffawed from on high.
"It's all in the wrist, Campacino, all in the wrist!"
I glared up at our captors for a second before eyeing the new collar my captain was sporting. "Well, perfect, now we're seven for seven on incapacitated ability-users."
"Mrph…" Soundbite mumbled murderously around the metal muzzle he was sporting.
"Trust us, Cross…" Robin groaned from the corner of the cell she was sitting in, her hat angled over her eyes. "This isn't pleasant for us either."
"They must have custom-made these things to have higher seastone-to-steel ratios than normal…" Chopper wheezed, splayed helplessly out on his stomach. "It feels like we're all dunked in the ocean… Heck…" He waved his hoof at the chained-up gun and sword in the pit. "Lassoo and Funkfreed can't even change back from their weapon forms…"
"Gonna… kill… these… bastards… for… touching… Sunny's… flag…" Merry grit out as she clawed at the walls, trying and failing to climb up the slick surface.
"Though… willpower seems to make the effects vary…" Chopper noted dryly.
"Maybe if I… no, but that's… perhaps… what if… no no no…"
"Su?" Su cocked her eyebrow at the pacing princess.
"Ah, yes," Conis nodded swiftly. "Vivi, you seem… distracted?"
Vivi glanced up and shook her head. "To make a long story short, according to Cross, Don Accino's Devil Fruit is most likely—!"
"Is the Rage of Alabasta, the Hot-Hot Fruit?" I deadpanned.
"Yes?"
"Then its user is definitely a ways away that way," I nodded, jabbing my finger upward.
"Right…" Vivi groaned, grinding her fingers into her temple. "And if that's true, it's extremely important that I speak to this Don Accino straight away, so that I can work something out! His powers are a national treasure back home, and if I could, I'd invite him to go to Alabasta to join the royal guard…" She spread her arms in despair. "But the problem is my position! If I make the request now, while my friend's and my lives are on the line—!"
"Then it would look like all you're doing is speaking out of your ass in order to save your skin," I deduced, grimacing. "Yeeeaaah, that's a problem."
"Worse than you'd think…" Vivi muttered, going back to her agitated pacing. "The Desert is lost to us until Crocodile one day dies. I'd never forgive myself if I let the Rage slip out of reach as well. And now…"
"Well… maybe you could make the offer to him while we're on our way out after we kick the Accino's collective asses?" I proposed. "After all, once that happens, they're gonna be up a creek without a base of operations."
"And how are we going to get out?" Vivi shook her head miserably. "After all, we're almost all locked up in here with no way out!"
I blinked at her in confusion before slapping a hand to my head with a chuckle. "Oh, right, you got here after Nami and me, I forgot. Nami, you mind—?"
"Yoo~hoo~," Nami sang, withdrawing her arms from behind her back and wiggling her fingers before hiding them again.
"The truth is that we can get out whenever we need to," I explained. "We're just waiting for the best moment to do it, that's all. After all, things are… weird. I mean, look around." I spread my arms at the cell. "The Accinos are cocky and bastards, but they're also damn skilled and professional. With this much bounty money on the line, we should have been in a Marine brig from the word go. But instead, they're keeping us in here? Nah, nah, something is up, though the question is what. So, for now, we wait. And besides…" I jabbed my thumb upwards. "We've still got one last ace in the hole, remember? The TDWS are still out there. Not sure what they're planning, but—!"
KNOCK-KNOCK!
A rapping sound drew my attention to Boss, who'd thus far been quiet as he sat in a seiza position. Once he had my attention, he held up a trio of 'fingers' on his flipper, then ticked one down… then a second… and then…
TH-TH-TH-THWUMP!
A quartet of bound, gagged and struggling dugongs was unceremoniously dumped into the center of the pit.
I blinked slowly at the groaning pile. "Huh… didn't see that coming. But… how? The TDWS might be students, but they're still pretty skilled. Who could have—?"
Boss responded to that by jabbing his flipper upward without even turning his head.
I followed his flipper and blinked as I caught sight of what was standing at the lip of the ice pit's entrance. "Are those Fierce Penguins? But they're only fierce and strong in numbers, how could four of them—?
SLAP!
My words died in my throat as my brain seized up at what had just happened.
"Did… that penguin just high-five another penguin?" I asked weakly.
SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-AP-SLAP!
My question was promptly answered by the penguins exchanging yet more high-fives, a veritable flurry of them…
SLAP!
That ended with one of them dope-slapping a, well, dopey-looking one.
A quartet of high-fiving penguins who'd just managed to kick the TDWS's ass…
I slowly turned my gaze on Soundbite. "Please say it ain't so…" I whimpered.
"Mmph-mph…" the snail smirked even behind his muzzle.
I silently stared at the snail before slowly standing up and turning to face the wall. "Well, if that's the case… It would seem like we've managed to guarantee at least one thing."
SMASH!
"This," I grit out through my rictus smile as I slam my forehead against the ice over and over.
SMASH!
"Is going."
SMASH!
"To be fun."