On a normal day, the docks of Marineford would be buzzing with activity as battleships and other Marine vessels sailed in and out of the docks, directed with clockwork precision by the harbour masters. Countless throngs of the Marines' elite would be bustling about, their every action aimed at maintaining the Justice that protected the peaceful lives of civilians the world over.
As such, the days when Marineford fell utterly silent were both vanishingly rare and the kind of day that led every Marine to fear their headquarters falling so silent.
This burnt orange, twilight-hued day was very much one of those days.
"Well," Vice Admiral Monkey D. Garp said through a grim smile, a muscle twitching in his jaw, and his gaze directed skyward. "At least Senny can't blame this one on me."
Despite being veritably surrounded by other Marines, it was doubtful that very many heard what he said. Their attention was skyward, gaping astonishment and existential terror written on their faces.
The source of this reaction was the sight of one of Marineford's indomitable, insurmountable fleets of battleships, the very symbol of the Navy's strength, floating listlessly through the air as if the multi-kiloton galleons had the density of cloud vapour.
As swiftly as the spectacle and the awed silence had descended upon Marine Headquarters, a raid siren finally howled out over the island, shattering it. Every last one of the gathered troops sprang to action, if only to scramble to find something to do about this inexplicable event taking place above them.
As the soldiers scurried around him like so many rats, Garp snorted derisively. "Tch. The new generation's reaction time is shit."
"Cut them a break, Garp."
The Vice Admiral didn't look, instead watching out of the corner of his eye as his sole acknowledged superior stepped up alongside him, looking up into the sky just like him.
"This generation has seen wonders and horrors aplenty over their lifetimes," Sengoku grimly stated. "But none have ever seen madness such as this. None but us."
"Madness…" Garp muttered, before he tsked and lowered his head. "Yeah, that's really the only way to describe this. There's only one man powerful enough and mad enough to do such a thing—" A sharp inhalation cut Garp off, his gaze snapping back up but even higher than before.
"Tch…" Sengoku spat as he followed his friend's gaze.
Their reactions were due to a far bigger issue than a few floating battleships suddenly intruding onto the moment, freezing the entire island in its tracks again.
In fact, one could very reasonably call the new issue island-sized. And that was no metaphor; a titanic flying island that had somehow been retrofitted to serve as a ship that had just flown clean over the summit of Marineford, essentially buzzing the very office of the Fleet Admiral himself.
Sengoku could only glare in furious trepidation at the island-vessel soaring over the weightless battleships, its every motion a sneering taunt directed straight at him. "Damn it all… and so yet another threat comes crawling out of the woodwork. This one hailing from the age of Roger himself."
"Twenty years of silence, and he picks now of all times to show his face again?" Garp growled, ignorant of the way his old friend twitched at his words. "One of Roger's own rivals, and the only man to ever manage to escape from the depths of Impel Down…"
The fabled Hero of the Marines glared daggers at the island-ship. Glared at the golden-maned titan he knew was standing on the rear of the vessel, whose condescending smirk he could all but feel in the very depths of his being.
"You haven't missed a step, have you?" Garp shouted up at the island. "Shiki, the Golden Lion!"
"Jihahahahaaaaa!"
Both Fleet Admiral and Vice Admiral stiffened at the deep, heavily accented voice that suddenly echoed out over Marineford from the island-ship, freezing many a soldier in their tracks.
"The hell—?" Garp breathed.
"Myyyy myyyy…" gloated the voice, a voice that had last sounded in Marineford twenty-five years prior, bringing as much terror now as it had back then. "What's this now? I must say, Marineford, I'm quite disappointed! I step out for but a decade or two, and already you've forgotten my name? I come back and find that the fight that once made you all so fearsome has withered up into nothing, and that you're concentrating on worthless small fry? That just won't do, you know! After all… I haven't exactly been resting on my laurels for the last twenty years. See, I have big plans, and it's finally time to put them into action. Finally time for the world to remember the sheer power of the Golden Lion Pirates! Ah… but hey, don't just take my word for it…"
Garp and Sengoku tensed as the air suddenly felt greasy, with a hint of ozone. "Here it comes!" Garp bellowed out.
"How about I offer you a taste… OF WHAT'S TO COME!"
Two seconds passed following that announcement. Then, all at once, gravity reasserted itself upon the ten floating battleships. The vessels, sailors and all plunged downward; some fell into Marineford's bay, the waves from the titanic impacts swamping the shores of the island and dragging countless more doomed soldiers beneath the surface. Others crashed on the land itself, crushing buildings or impacting on the edges of the island before crumpling into splinters.
One vessel careened headlong at the central pagoda of the island, but a swift backhand from the Marine Hero sent the impromptu projectile harmlessly tumbling away. Harmless for the island, mind, not the poor souls who had been trapped on the ship.
Garp spared a second to mourn for the waste of life before glaring at Shiki's retreating vessel, which had left the swath of devastation it had wrought far behind in favour of absconding to the heavens. "Damn it all… why couldn't the son of a bitch just keep quiet and remain a legend?" Garp growled. "What's he been up to? Has he been preparing all this time, just so that he could take his revenge?"
"JIIIHAHAHAHAHAHA…"
The laughter echoing over the harbour as the island-ship soared upward, already out of range and soon out of sight, answered Garp's rhetorical question very well.
Once the ship was well out of sight, Garp let out an aggravated sigh and reached up to scratch the back of his head. "Bastard… Well, no matter what he's up to, standing around isn't going to put out any fires. I'm gonna head down, start coordinating search and rescue, repairs, shit like that. At least get us into a half-decent state of affairs before some pirate or whatever gets any bright ideas."
"When you're done with that, Garp, report to me immediately," Sengoku said, massaging his hand on his forehead. "As soon as I get a double-dose of my stress medication, I want you to be exactly where I can see you at all times."
"Eh?" Garp blinked at his superior in surprise. "And why the hell's that?"
"Because he gloated."
Garp blinked again. "Uh… come again?"
"Shiki," Sengoku elaborated, his gaze still affixed on the horizon. "Just now, he didn't just attack us like he normally would have. He gloated first. In all our years of fighting him, not once has Shiki ever taken the time to grandstand as he did just now. So… what's changed? What, after twenty long years…" Sengoku's head slowly turned to glance over his shoulder. "Is it different?"
Garp followed his old friend's gaze in confusion…
"SHIT!"/ "DAMN IT, GARP!"
And forced Sengoku to violently restrain him once he realized that Sengoku had been looking at a Transponder Snail.
"YOU CAN'T JUST GO BARRELLING OFF, YOU TITANIC IDIOT!" Sengoku bellowed furiously, very pointedly not using his Devil Fruit abilities in wrestling Garp to the ground to keep him from bolting out the doors and most likely clean off the island.
"THE HELL I CAN'T, BASTARD!" Garp howled."THAT ARROGANT SON OF A BITCH CAN'T STAND THE IDEA OF SOMEONE ELSE IN THE SPOTLIGHT! HE'S STARTING A PISSING MATCH WITH THE STRAW HAT PIRATES! HE'S GOING AFTER MY GRANDSON!"
Several floors down from the ongoing madness, Vice Admiral Tsuru gazed mournfully out over the devastated landscape of Marineford. After a few seconds, her gaze shifted, casting a regretful glance at her snoozing Transponder Snail and silently lamenting that it would be many tense hours of lockdown before she'd be able to place a critical call without getting caught.
For the time being, she made a mental note to utilize Monkey's connections to ensure every Mason in both Zodiacs had a White Transponder Snail on hand as soon as possible. She then dialled her surrogate sister, Vice Admiral Gion, to begin mustering as many forces as possible to rescue the drowning Marines; as a Devil Fruit user, there was only so much the old woman could do herself.
Once that was done, and before she walked out to begin the long night's work, Tsuru cast a final glance out at the sun-baked horizon.
"This," she whispered to herself. "Is going to be an ordeal the likes of which the world has never before seen."
And so with those words did the ordeal begin. And with it… an odyssey.
The Cross-Brain Presents…
Based on the hit-series by Eiichiro Oda…
An adaptation of the blockbuster movie…
For your enjoyment…
STRONG WORLD
Flying… floating… drifting… looking… looking… looking… looking down… looking in…
"Gwegh!"
I woke up with a snort, shooting up in my bed in shock. Slowly, I looked left and right, blinking numbly as I got my bearings, before raising my hands before my eyes to give my fingers a quick test.
Once I was sure they worked, I shook my head blearily. "Frickin' weird double-O.B.E. dreams…" I groused before flopping back. I then blinked as I saw Merry's face looking down on me. With a wide grin that showed only teeth and malice.
"Time to wake up, Cross…" she crooned ever so gently, her tone of voice entirely discordant with her facial expression.
I blinked slowly before settling in with a sigh. "Still such weird dreams…"
"THE HELL IT IS!"
My eyes shot open at the sudden roar. "Wait, wha—?!"
THWACK!
"GAH!" I shot up with a howl of agony as a small but heavy mass cannonballed into my stomach. Moving fast, I grabbed her head and tugged her cheeks out with my thumbs. "You little brat!" I wheezed. "What the hell do you have to say for yourself!?"
"Yoah fingersh tashte like shyrup," Merry mumbled out, smiling all the while unabashedly. "You should weally avoid dwinking cola before going to shweep, messhesh your shleep schedule up shomeshing fierche."
"Duly noted," I snarled menacingly, leaning in close so that we were eye to eye. "Now, any last words before I drown you in the fishtank?"
"Actually, I have three that will change your mind."
"Eh?" I glanced to the side, boggling in confusion at the sight of Nami, Zoro and Vivi all standing in my room, with Soundbite snickering in Zoro's palm…
Puru puru puru puru!
And ringing.
"Call for you," Zoro deadpanned.
My stare held for a moment longer, and then I shot Merry a flat glare. "You got lucky, brat."
Her oh so mature response was to stick her tongue out with a cocky "Bleeeeeeh".
I snorted and let her go, before rummaging around for some clean… er, for some clothes that didn't smell too bad. "Pick it up, would ya?" I requested.
Vivi rolled her eyes with a weary sigh. "Ever the height of decorum, Cross."
"Piss off, it's not like there's video." Once Soundbite's expression morphed from cockiness to that of whoever'd called, however, I took on a cocky grin of my own. "Hello, you've reached Marine Base G-5's cafeteria; our specialty today is poultry carved in the likenesses of the Straw Hat Pirates. Would you like to purchase Going Merry's head or Roronoa Zoro's?"
The named laughed and flashed me the finger respectively.
"…I am… conflicted," Tashigi deadpanned.
"Save your morbid fantasies for later, Pisces," Hina said, her voice as hard as steel. "Members of the New World Masons, Divine and Damned alike…" The Marine's expression darkened noticeably. And it was pretty dark beforehand. "We have a situation."
My whole room tensed up instantly, and I hastily slipped on the closest clothes I could grab before planting my ass in my chair, everyone else settling in on the floor or against the wall.
"How bad?" I asked.
"Bad enough that everyone save Aquarius is present, and the only reason we're not waiting for her any longer is that we can't afford to," she answered. "I trust you've all been informed of the destruction of Picowana Island?"
I waited out the sounds of affirmation from everyone before speaking up for myself. "Merry told us, yeah. Uninhabited island in the East Blue that got shredded down to the bedrock… and that I know nothing about." I grimaced in dread. "It's happened again, hasn't it?"
Hina nodded, her eyes closing in memory. "We've confirmed eight islands over the past month, with the five most recent destroyed within the past week," she said. "Tikoshi Island, the Isle of Peridox, the Bullion Atoll, Etonori Island, and Rendion Island. All levelled completely and utterly."
I could feel my teeth grinding at the revelation, but before I could say anything, I noticed our navigator had suddenly turned an ashen gray. "Nami? What's wrong?" I asked. "You know those islands or something?"
Nami nodded jerkily, slowly turning her horrified gaze towards us. "Etonori… and Rendion," she breathed. "Th-Those islands… they… they were inhabited."
We all stiffened at the news, the implication as obvious as a sledgehammer to the face.
Barto in particular hissed in a breath. "Capricorn, don't tell me—!"
Hina's eyes squeezed even tighter together, her jaw visibly clenching. "…no survivors. I personally combed every square inch of both the islands and any wreckage left, but…" She shook her head. "We were lucky to even find remains that were intact, when we found them at all. I… seriously doubt we missed anything alive in that carnage."
A grave silence hung over us all as we digested that information.
"…Damn…" Lola swallowed heavily. "That… t-that's just…"
"Inexcusable!" T-Bone barked, his fists audibly slamming on a surface. "Such a senseless, grievous waste of life… and there are no clues to who or what is committing these atrocities!?"
Hina shook her—and by extension, Soundbite's—head. "Unfortunately, no. There are no traces, no identifying signs, nothing to tie the attacks to anyone. Yet the attacks have two consistencies that show that they are a pattern rather than a simple calamity. The first is the exceptionally thorough destruction." There was a pause, and her jaw clenched even tighter.
"And the second is an exception to the devastation. On Etonori and Rendion, every trace of civilization was wiped away, except for the docks and the nearby warehouses. Those were left intact."
"And unless I miss my guess…" Foxy spoke up, an uncharacteristically grim glower on his face. "Those warehouses were empty, weren't they?"
While Soundbite nodded, Merry tilted her head in confusion. "Er… empty docks?" she asked. "What's so important about that?"
"Because under normal circumstances, that shouldn't be the case," Dorry rumbled. "Any town with any sort of ongoing trade should have something in the warehouses, or something sitting on the docks ready to be moved there."
"But for the warehouses to be completely empty and the docks untouched, even after such devastation…" Broggy trailed off, letting everyone come to the obvious conclusion.
"Pirates…" Vivi said, her hands clenched into trembling fists. "The warehouses were spared during the carnage and then looted after the fact."
"Same tactics my crew used back in the old days," Foxy confirmed. "Less destruction and more looting, obviously, but still the same basic premise."
"In summary," Jonathan said. "We have a group of pirates—a word I only use because it means seafaring criminal," he hastily added when every one of us buccaneers present scowled at the implication. "Who are scouring islands down to the bedrock, and who have recently escalated to attacking civilians and stealing everything of worth in the process, with no evidence of the attacks stopping any time soon. Worse, it appears that they're only beginning." Jonathan let out a weary sigh and shook his head. "I think it goes without saying that this is a threat we need to take very seriously."
For a long moment, the only sound was the creaking of the Sunny around us.
Finally, Vivi groaned and began to massage the bridge of her nose. "Anubis and Osiris below, I thought I'd left this kind of madness behind in Baroque Works…"
"Hell of a lot of trouble for a smash and grab, though, isn't it?" Zoro muttered to himself.
"Unfortunately, Capricorn must agree with Sidewinder," Hina stated. "But only on the first half of his statement. It was a lot of trouble… but Capricorn does not think the looting was the goal."
The mood darkened significantly as the statement sank in.
"…what are you saying, Capricorn?" Tashigi breathed weakly.
"I think you know exactly what I mean. All of you," Hina explained, Soundbite's teeth grinding furiously on a cigarette he didn't have. "I will add that the ships in those ports escaped complete destruction by virtue of being underwater when the destruction began."
Silence, for all of a second, and then, there was thunder.
"They were aiming for the civilians," Nami growled, a dark malevolence in her eye, voice, and the pitch-black, streaked-with-lightning Eisen Cloud filling the room with the stench of ozone. "Their goal was to destroy the islands, and the looting was just a bonus."
"Like a few other islands, I'm sure all of us could name," Smoker rumbled murderously.
As impossible as it seemed, the mood darkened even further at the reminder. "Bastards," Tashigi spat, her eyes gleaming venomously.
"Damn…" Apoo shook his head in disbelief. "I've clashed with some psychopaths before, but whoever's doing this has to be some seriously special brand of twisted."
SLAM! "ENOUGH!"
We—that is, we Straw Hats—all jumped at the impact that suddenly shook the room, and our attention was dragged over to Merry, her clenched fist planted against the wall and indignant rage wracking her small frame.
"Enough," she repeated, flames flickering in her eyes. Literally. "Enough talking about what these bastards did, enough speculating about what they're going to do. It's too late to save the dead, and the future doesn't matter because we are going to stop these bastards before they strike again. What matters here is the present: what's being done right now?"
Hina's response was to huff and glance aside. "At the moment, Capricorn and her men are analyzing the affected islands to see if we can turn up any more clues to a trail or culprits. Headquarters, meanwhile, has acknowledged the gravity of the threat and made it the Navy's top priority; any available battleships on this side of the Red Line are making all speed for the East Blue as we speak. But…" The energy seemed to drain Hina, and her gaze became downcast. "Even with all these resources… Capricorn… Capricorn has her doubts."
Another bout of uncomfortable silence fell over the room, but this one was swiftly filled by a harsh clap, and going by the fangs Soundbite was sporting, it looked like it was Bartolomeo who'd delivered it.
"Well, at least we ain't going into this shitshow alone, right?" he proudly declared. "All for one, one for all!"
"Huh?" T-Bone blinked in surprise. "Rooster, what are you—?"
"It's obvious, ain't it?" Barto snorted. "C'mon, I might be a bloodthirsty, booze-swilling, ship-bumping pirate, but the East Blue's still my turf too, ya know! I've still got the rest of my boys there, family! I'm not just gonna leave 'em out to dry! I'll call 'em, get them to put their ears to the ground. If anybody doesn't feel like sharing with you, white hats, they'll share with us!"
"Same here!" Foxy nodded in agreement. "I've got feelers all up and down Paradise, I'll reach out and see if they can turn anything up!"
"And we'll shake some trees too!" Dorry chimed. "Not only is Water 7 a major trade hub even with the blockade up, but we've had giants streaming in to join the crew! Something like this isn't easy to set up, so if there've been any rumblings over the past few years, we'll find out!"
"No matter what might come, we won't back down until the job is done and it's done right!" Broggy concurred, a loud thump indicating he'd pounded his chest. "That's the Giant Warrior way!"
"You… you all…" Tashigi breathed, moisture building in her eyes.
"What, you're surprised? Didn't expect this of us? APAPAPA!" Apoo cackled. "Of course you didn't! And why's that? Because we're pirates! We don't play by the rules, so you never know what we'll do! Apapapa!"
While there was a general rumble of agreement and support, I was less focused on what was being said and more on my crewmates. Or rather, on my crewmates' faces. Merry, Nami, Zoro… they all looked somewhat mollified by the support everyone else was giving, but even I could see the tension hidden below the surface. The worry.
And seeing that… I knew there was only one thing I could do.
"Chin up, Marine," I said with the utmost seriousness. "We've got a job to do."
Everyone turned to me in surprise. "I actually meant to talk to you about cutting down on the taunting," Merry breathed, a tinge of awe colouring her voice. "And you're doing it already."
"Did someone replace Ophiuchus's brain when we weren't looking?" Smoker said without a hint of jest.
"Oh, come on!" I snapped. "I will admit, shamelessly, that I love messing with people as much as Soundbite does—"
"You wish~," Soundbite sang tauntingly.
"—but you all know that I'm completely capable of turning serious if the situation demands it." I shook my head. "And believe me, the less often that happens, the better. You wouldn't—" I cut myself off, but then grimaced and turned to glare at my slyly grinning snail; there really wasn't a better way to phrase it. "Alright, fine. Say it."
"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry," Soundbite intoned.
"Yeah, that," I nodded at him before adopting a vicious grin. "And whoever's pulling this shit? They'll like us all even less when Sunny comes roaring over the horizon."
If my words hadn't before, that sentence locked everyone's attention on me.
"Cross, what—!?" Vivi started to splutter.
Started, because my raised hand shut her up. "Look," I said placatingly. "I know I'm not the captain, I know I technically can't make that call, but the East Blue is the home of a quarter of our crew, it's our alma mater, and damn it all, this is the exact kind of shit the Straw Hat Pirates do not let fly!" I punctuated my statement by slamming my fist on my desk… an action I sorely regretted, considering I hadn't put my gauntlets on. Still, even as I resisted the urge to curl up in a ball in favour of cradling my hand, I continued on. "I bet anything that if we bring this up to Luffy, he'll be all for it. From there… It's just a matter of sailing north, hopping the Calm Belt, and raising ten different kinds of hell until we're finished."
My crewmates exchanged looks of uncertainty, thought, and most of all, hope.
Still…
"But… what about our journey, Cross?" Nami asked hesitantly. "You really think we can just… start over?"
…oh, like hell I was letting that pass by me.
"Hmm…" I made a show of humming to myself, clasping my hands and tapping my index fingers against my chin in thought. "Yessss, I suppose that would be an issue, wouldn't it? Now, if only we were veterans of Paradise, experienced enough in these waters that we could travel these seas in basically no time at all, with no trouble whatsoever! And what a boon it would be if we just so happened to know some people whose ships can magically cross the Calm Belt at their leisure, without so much as a spot of trouble!" I stuck my grinning face in Soundbite's, raising my hand in a conspiratorial manner. "Hint-hint!" I stage-whispered.
"Cross is back~!" the whole of the Zodiac of the Damned sang-laughed.
"Asshole," Nami sighed, shaking her head.
"Should have seen that coming," Vivi snickered in response, which got our navigator shooting a half-hearted half-glare at both her and our guffawing helmsgirl.
"Mrrrgh… well, at least I'm not entirely on the receiving end for once…" Tashigi grinned, though one corner of her mouth was periodically twitching.
"Cross," Jonathan sternly interjected. "I hope you have an idea for how to get there other than using the Marines' sea prism stone hulls. Every ship in Paradise is under tight watch, and it would be a nightmare explaining a missing one, at least until after this crisis is resolved. I'm not saying you can't rely on us; we won't hesitate if it's the only option. But if you do, it's going to be a lot of potential trouble; in the worst case, one of us may even have to go public with our rebellion."
"I have a couple of alternatives lined up, don't worry," I assured everyone. "Rooster, fill… Cobra or Anaconda in on the situation, whoever's available. We may need their help."
"Oh, no need for that."
The sudden shift in Bartolomeo's tone made everyone else wince in anticipation.
"Gimme a second," a gruff voice suddenly grunted.
SLAM-SLAM-SLAM-SLAM! "GAH!"
Followed shortly by the sound of Bartolomeo getting a four-man round of 'concussive maintenance' performed on him.
"I DIDN'T EVEN GET STARTED YET, PISSWHISKEY!" Barto roared at his first mate.
"I've got a lot of bars I like back there, asshole, you're not starting ever until this is over and done with!" Gin growled right back.
"…Fine," Barto snorted. "Asshole. Anyway, Cross, our crew got friendly with the Calm Belt's Sea Kings during the sack of Enies—long story, don't ask, still hammering out details on the whole thing—and I'm sure we could get you through the Calm Belt and back. Where do we meet up?"
"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves," I said. "We need to tell the rest of the crew first."
"And figure out where the hell we are, too," Nami interjected.
I winced. "And… that, yeah."
"Fair 'nuff. We'll wait for your call. So unless anyone else's got something to say…?" Barto glanced left and right.
"Just this," Smoker said, glaring at everyone on the call. "Everybody watch their backs. Something tells me that we're venturing into something this world has never seen before."
There was a general rumble of agreement as everyone checked out to attend to their assigned tasks.
"See you on the flipside, Straw Hats," Barto saluted before he too departed, leaving us alone.
My confidants and I exchanged looks before letting out a myriad of sighs, groans, and slumps to the nearest hard surface.
"So, we're facing an ocean-threatening disaster by genocidal pirates, completely and utterly outside of Cross's foresight," Merry summarized. "On a scale of Whiskey Peak to Enies Lobby, how much of a problem does that make this?"
"My guess?" I said, gnawing on my cheek. "Thriller 2, Rotting Boogaloo."
Vivi and Nami both groaned in concert. "Freaking. Perfect," they sighed in synch, hands clutching their scars.
"Let's just get this over with. At least there'll be a decent fight out of it," Zoro said as he climbed out, with my other adjutants on his trail.
Before following him, I made a stop by my desk. "All hands on deck, emergency meeting," I said into my pipes. I was about to head out for real when a thought occurred to me, and I moved back to the comms. "And when I say emergency, I mean worldwide emergency, not we're out of prime cuts emergency, so move your asses!" Then I headed out, the sound of doors opening echoing below as I descended the ladder. Not ten seconds after I touched the deck, everyone was out with all eyes on me.
"Bad news from the rest of the world, Captain, and with your permission, we'd like to get the entire crew working on it," I said.
"Uh… how bad exactly?" Luffy queried.
"Bad," was all Zoro said.
That drew a surprised look from our captain, before he slapped on his dead-serious face and nodded at me.
Permission granted, I clapped my hands to get everyone's attention. "Alright, everyone, listen up! As of today, we've learned that the East Blue is officially in crisis mode. As we speak, islands are being levelled one by one." As I spoke, I began pacing back and forth. "Close to a dozen islands annihilated over the last month, all in the East Blue, and recently, the islands have begun having people on them. Whoever's doing this—and I am confident that they are a who—they're only getting started."
The rest of the crew stared at me in horror.
"East Blue…" Usopp wheezed. "H-Have they hit—?"
"None of ours," Merry quickly assured him.
"Not yet," Nami pointed out.
Apparently, that did little to reassure our sniper. "Kaya…"
Sanji, meanwhile, glanced aside, no doubt thinking of his family at the Baratie. And going by the way Luffy tilted his hat down to shadow the newly born scowl on his face, he had some names in mind, too.
I gave everyone a moment to stew on that, and then raised a placating hand. "The Navy is looking into matters as we speak, giving the matter their full attention," I explained, before slowly looking at Luffy. "But the fact is, I seriously doubt anyone is satisfied with just that. Captain, I have a way of getting us through the Calm Belt and back, and as far as I'm aware, we won't be missing anything truly critical if we were to take a detour. But… this is still a decision you, as the captain, need to make."
In an instant, the crew snapped into serious mode. All attention turned to our captain, and everybody waited in patient silence as he mulled matters over. Luffy didn't even need a minute before he looked straight up at us.
"Nami," he ordered firmly, steel glinting in his eyes. "Set a course. We're going back to the East Blue!"
The mood shifted into bloodthirsty, edge-of-the-blade anticipation; I would have grinned if the cause was less grim, but at the moment, all I could manage was to grit my teeth in determination. "Alright, first things first: Let's find out just where the… hell… we oh what the fuuuuuck…"
Why did I trail off like that? Well, the absolutely ludicrous sight above me that had everyone staring in wide-eyed confusion probably had something to do with it.
Somewhere in the back of my stunned mind, I reached a simple conclusion.
Apparently, Paradise had absolutely no intention of letting the New World top its madness without one hell of a fight.
-ONE WEEK LATER-
For all its insanity, the Grand Line was still a vast ocean; some areas made the worst parts of the Blues look tranquil, while others would have been right at home in said Blues, and could be even considered normal. One such island, Barcanallia Island, was equal parts forest and town, unremarkable in all aspects, with a simple economy based on the crops and game the inhabitants could bring in.
Islands such as this were truly ideal locations, whether to kick up your feet and relax in peace, or to get some time away from the prying eyes of either the public or one's superiors.
"Hmmmph…"
Case in point.
"How vexing…" exhaled the frowning frame of Captain T-Bone over the sound of a whetstone grinding the edge of his blade.
Seagirl Recruit Yoko winced, both in response to her superior's exhalation and in response to the trio of ridiculously overpowered ex-assassins kicking her mega-sized insectoid best friend into the ground.
And all without using their Zoan forms, at that!
"Sorry, Captain, Boss still isn't used to fighting anyone close to his level, let alone three at once," Yoko apologized, glancing back at him from the fight that was going on and then blinking. "Oh, sorry, did you mean your sword?"
"No, neither the blade nor the brawl is what is troubling me, Yoko," the Captain sighed, continuing to grind at the whetstone. "What troubles me is the exact same issue that has been troubling you for the past week."
Yoko's mood visibly dropped at the reminder. "The Straw Hats."
"Indeed," T-Bone nodded solemnly. "Any period of silence from Jeremiah Cross is worrying in and of itself, but given the circumstances of the silence this time around…"
"I-I'm sure they're alright!" the young girl hastily stated, though her expression made it clear that she was as much trying to raise her own spirits as his. "I-I mean, I know that last SBS sounded pretty bad and… and sure, they got their asses kicked pretty hard, but—!…but… ah…" Yoko slowly lowered her head, a miserable grimace on her face. "I'll stop talking now, sir."
T-Bone sighed and shook his head, his focus back on his attempt to distract himself. The Straw Hats would bounce back… surely they would.
Yoko, for her part, returned her attention to Boss, which did a lot more to distract her than T-Bone's whetstone did him. She had learned of CP9's existence from Cross, but the full story of what was now Jormungandr became known to her only when she witnessed the most terrifying man she'd ever seen present a report to T-Bone regarding CP4. The said man was among the three Zoans sparring with her close friend, whose scarred carapace was growing even more scarred from the barrages, his horns, feelers, and fire struggling to keep up with the limber assassins.
Yoko winced as a blade of wind put a particularly large dent into her friend's side. His next moult was going to be something to witness.
And once again, this was without using their Devil Fruit powers. She thanked her lucky stars three times a day that they were on her side… or at least that Lucci considered the hell T-Bone would give him more trouble than knocking her block off would be worth.
Yoko shivered and chased that particularly dismal thought away, and instead cast a despairing glance skyward. "To think, I'm actually starting to miss that damn suicidal idiot lightening the mood with his insanity," she groaned. Then she gained a thoughtful expression. "Damn it, Cross, where the hell are you?"
T-Bone let out another sigh before sheathing his newly sharpened sword and rising to his feet. "While I share your concerns, Seagirl, our duties yet remain. For the moment, we must concentrate on the task at hand. That being said, where is… Ah, there's Knalf."
The Warrant Officer jogged up to his commanding officer and hastily skidded to a halt before giving him a salute and breathless report. "Captain T-Bone! Situation in the town square! You're going to want to see this immediately, sir!"
The two Marines exchanged a concerned look, and then Yoko blew out a sharp whistle. Immediately, the brawl ceased, Boss splitting off from his opponents to fly over to her… while his erstwhile opponents vanished into the shadows.
Yoko shuddered at the sight. "Said it before, saying it again: so creepy."
"You could learn to do it as well, you know," T-Bone remarked, a slight smirk tugging at his mouth.
The 180 was immediate. "Then in that case, so cool!" Yoko cheered. "But for now!" The girl clambered up onto Boss Kabuto's back and slapped at his shell. "I'll settle for the express! Let's go-go-go!"
The colossal beetle immediately zoomed off, leaving T-Bone to shake his head in amusement before jogging after them.
The source of Knalf's urgency was obvious once they reached the town's square. The locals had all congregated around a pair of rather unexpected sights in their town. The first was mundane enough: a large projection screen that had most definitely not been present a few minutes prior. The second, however, was far more unusual: a large, person-sized crate made of metal just randomly sitting in the town's square.
"Ooookay…" Yoko said as she walked around the crate, one hand scratching under her cap. "Thiiis isn't something you see every day…"
"Where did these items come from, Officer?" Captain T-Bone queried.
"Uh… I actually think they've been here for a while now, sir. See this?" The Warrant Officer indicated several pieces of splintered, shattered wood scattered around the screen and crate. "If I remember right, there were some wooden crates here when we docked yesterday. We've asked around, and apparently, they were first seen here all of three days ago. However, nobody can seem to recall who left them there, just that they were left lying around, and then they suddenly burst open a few minutes ago! That screen unfolded, and the other crate… well, exposed itself. The metal one, I mean."
"Hrm…" T-Bone scratched his chin, looking the box over. "And I take it you haven't had any luck opening it?"
"Can't even move it!" Knalf huffed in exasperation. "The damn thing's been bolted to the ground!"
"Oh, but we can look into it! There's an opening here, see?" Yoko piped up, pointing out the small opening on the side facing the screen. After her report was made, the girl stood on her tiptoes to try to peer into the slot. "Now, let's see just what's going on in this—GAH!" The second she got a look inside, Yoko jerked back and fell on her ass in shock.
"Seagirl Yoko! Are you alright?" one of the nearby soldiers asked, helping the shell-shocked girl sit up straight.
"Uh… kinda-sorta?" she said, fumbling to re-straighten her cap. "I, uh… You know that saying, about looking into the abyss and all that?"
"Yes…?" T-Bone tentatively said.
Yoko looked up at him, eyes wild. "Well, I don't know if it's the abyss in there, but something sure looked back at me!"
"You mean there's someone in there!?"
"Er, no, I don't think so!" Yoko clarified. "Like I said, something. I'm pretty certain it wasn't human. Ah, hey, you!" She pointed at the soldier holding her up. "Help me up, would you? I need another look."
The Marine hastily complied, giving Yoko a literal hand up so that she could peer into the crate again.
"Yup, definitely something! A familiar something!" Yoko reported. "There's a Transponder Snail in here!"
"…you're serious," T-Bone deadpanned.
"I do my best to act professional, and I've been staring at snails for a week, I'm both serious and certain!" was the answer, accompanied by an imperious sniff. That lasted all of two seconds before Yoko glanced away with a sheepish expression. "Though I'll admit, I had no idea they could get this big!"
T-Bone narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Wait, big—? Are you saying that it fills the entire crate?"
"Um…" Yoko looked back into the crate and nodded in confirmation. "Yup! He is a big sucker! And…" She took a tentative whiff of the air and promptly reeled back. "Whoo, he certainly smells like he's been in here for a while! But why—?"
FLASH!
"GAH!" Yoko howled as she fell back again, clawing at her eyes. "AGAIN? SERIOUSLY!?"
"Compose yourself, Seagirl!"
"Grgh, s-sorry, sir," Yoko grumbled, blinking her eyes in an effort to rid herself of the spots plaguing her vision. "Just got surprised, is all. What hit me?"
"That is a question we'd all like an answer to."
In lieu of questioning her superior, Yoko followed his gaze once her vision cleared up. The light was still coming from the box, and she turned around to find that the container—or rather the Transponder Snail within—was projecting an image onto the projector screen that had accompanied it.
The image displayed on the screen was unlike anything that most of those watching had ever seen or experienced. Visual Snails were rarely used to begin with, but for those that did use them, there was a certain expectation: if the snail sending the transmission wasn't stationary, then its movements were no faster than expected from an average human. And, of course, that meant that one could expect to see no significant and abrupt change in elevation.
This broadcast blew all those expectations out of the water; the projector screen showed a bird's-eye view of a lush jungle, the bobbing and weaving of the viewpoint enough to threaten the watchers with dizziness or a loss of lunch. Then the view began closing in on the jungle, the point of view coming to rest on a branch in one of the treetops before surveying the surrounding area.
Then, as the viewer peered down into a small pond beneath the tree, the audience received the answer to the first question on their minds. The reflection in the water showed a dark-colored bird of prey with what looked like a mane of gold around its neck—a golden eagle, as muttered by a local birdwatcher ("I keep telling you, it's 'Ornithologist'!" "Shut it, Jerry!") in the audience. The eagle wore a peculiar harness around its torso, holding a Transponder Snail in a glass case attached to its chest.
While that answered one question, several others remained, and no more answers seemed forthcoming; from what the audience could see, it was just offering a good perspective on nature. The lush trees, the serene pool, the blossoming plants, the sounds of wildlife… though those sounds made it seem as if there were rather ferocious animals out there. And they were growing louder, with crashing sounds coming across the connection.
Then, all at once, the foliage began shaking, which intensified for a few moments before it split apart, and out ran—
"RUN!"
"LUFFY!" Yoko cried, jerking forward.
And indeed, it was the captain of the Straw Hat Pirates in all his glory. His tarnished, bedraggled and mud-caked glory, mind you. Sure, his outfit was a bit different from what most knew, having swapped out his red vest for a blue one and donned an aviator's cap beneath his eponymous hat, but it was definitely him.
And yet, also, unlike his usual cheerful self, Luffy was wearing a somewhat panicked look as he shot out from the underbrush and ran across the clearing as though hell were on his ass.
"They're right behind us!" the world-famous pirate shouted over his shoulder.
Seconds later, he received a response in the form of a blur shooting out of the section of jungle he'd emerged from—
SLAM! "GAH!"
And slamming into a nearby tree, where the blur coalesced into a physical and… rather irritable form. "Yeah, like I hadn't noticed!"
[Boss D!] Boss Kabuto warbled in shock.
They were two-for-two on Straw Hat sightings, as the impromptu projectile indeed turned out to be the captain of the Straw Hat's Dugong-composed guard. The amphibious Boss had also undergone a fashion makeover, with a leather, fang-embossed fedora ("It's called an aussie—!" "No one wants to hear it, ya damn hat-lover!" "That's 'millinophile' to you!" "I SAID CRAM IT!") on his skull in place of his usual bandanna, which he'd tied around his neck to act as a camo neckerchief. He'd also put on a leathery vest and equipped a pair of crocodile-scaled leather bracers.
"Argh, damn bastards hit like Sea Kings!" Boss Dugong growled, shoving himself out of the tree trunk he'd been slammed into and rubbing his skullplate irritably.
"And they've got the attitude to match!"
"THEY'RE NOT LETTING UP!"
"Cross," T-Bone said with narrowed eyes, not particularly surprised at the third and final person that charged into the clearing and skidded to a halt; animals speaking was a tell-tale sign that the Voices of Anarchy weren't far away.
The third and apparently final member of the group was particularly dishevelled, his eyes frantic and his head on a swivel. He'd tied his hoodie around his waist, turned his cap around so that it was facing backwards, and donned a black tank top that featured the outline of a black horse rearing up in front of a pair of golden scales that had the words 'BLACK' and 'FAMINE' placed in its left and right dishes, respectively.
"Eesh, they look like they've gone through hell…" Yoko winced sympathetically.
"But the question is, just where the hell is that hell?!" another soldier wondered.
In addition to his harried look, Cross already had his cannon-dog armed and at the ready, and the second he slid into the clearing, he fired off round after round into the jungle he'd come out of. "Cani-Cannon, cannon, cannon, BLAST!" Cross capped off his barrage of explosive ordinance with a pillar of superheated air that set a whole swathe of vegetation ablaze.
However, even with the wave of destruction he'd just caused, Cross's panic didn't abate an iota. Instead, it just seemed to mount further as he stumbled back from the scorching jungle. "Son of a bitch, they just keep coming!"
"THEN WE GOTTA KEEP RUNNING!" Luffy shouted over his shoulder, waving his arm for his crew to follow and jogging in place with obvious impatience.
"YEAH, THAT'S GONNA BE HARD, REAL HARD! WE'RE coming up on THE EDGE AGAIN!" Soundbite announced through a terrified grimace.
"Son of a bitch, again!?" Boss growled, dragging his flippers down his face. "At least tell me there's somewhere to land this time, I'm still feeling the burn from the last near miss!"
Yoko exchanged confused looks with T-Bone and mouthed the word 'land?', to which the Captain could only respond with a confused shake of his head.
Meanwhile, Soundbite glanced side to side frantically before nodding in confirmation. "We're good!"
"Then let's go!" Boss shouted out, charging after Luffy.
"After you, Captain!" Cross shouted, following after his crewmates as well.
Luffy, at this point, was already deep in the surrounding underbrush. "COME ON!" he roared
All of a sudden, the viewpoint lurched as the video-snail's mount took off from its perch and soared after the Straw Hats. The shift in perspective allowed the viewers to watch the Straw Hats charge straight towards a shockingly sudden cutoff in the landscape that led clean into the void.
"Are they seriously going to jump off a cliff!?" one of the island's civilians demanded.
"This would not be anywhere even close to the craziest thing the Straw Hats have ever done," Yoko deadpanned in response.
"HERE WE GO!" Luffy roared as he jumped over the edge.
Boss punched the air as he jumped after his captain. "LET'S DO THIS!"
"THIS IS GONNA SUCK SO HARD!" Cross wailed from the rear.
Once the pirates leapt, the snail soared over the edge after them, and everyone watching was struck dumb.
"…I stand corrected," Yoko breathed, her eyes glued to the screen. "This? This takes the cake."
"No kidding… Freaking hell, no one told me that Devil Fruits were such great tools for real estate," another Marine muttered. T-Bone made a mental note to pursue that line of thought later.
But for now, he was a little too awestruck by the fact that the Straw Hats were jumping off of not only a cliff, but an island, and that they were falling towards neither the ocean, nor the clouds… but instead yet another island that they could see was floating in the heavens. One island amongst many, even! And it wasn't a group of sky islands composed of island-clouds, oh no; it was all dirt and stone and lots of lush jungle, simply levitating in the air.
And that was all that the watchers needed to see to understand exactly what was going on and what had happened with the Straw Hats over the last week.
"They're… trapped in the sky…" a Marine breathed in disbelief.
"It's like there's a whole other world, just… floating up there!" a civilian concurred.
Captain T-Bone frowned in thought, orders to his men on his lips, when he stiffened in realization and hastily grabbed the hilt of his sword. "Sorry about this," he hissed apologetically before whipping his blade out—
CRACK! "Gwowowooooh…"
—and downing Boss Kabuto with a single smooth swing that struck the back of all the titan-beetle's legs at once.
"BOSS!" Yoko cried in panic, hastily running up to her friend and clutching his horn comfortingly. "Oh my—Captain, why on earth would you do that!?"
"For his own good, Seagirl," T-Bone sighed regretfully. "Look at your friend. What do you see?"
"I-I—! He's…" Yoko looked into her large friend's eyes and audibly swallowed at the haunted look in them. "He… was about to bolt, wasn't he?"
"And most likely leave a trail of destruction in his wake, yes," T-Bone nodded. "I'm sorry, Seagirl, but I did what I had to do, for his sake as much as ours."
"Oh, no… I remember this…" Yoko breathed in terror. "Boss… h-he was like this back when I first met him, afraid, panicking… b-but why—?! Damn it, could this get any worse!?"
"Oh, holy shit!"
Yoko jumped at the sudden cry and looked around. Most of the rest of the audience was doing the same, and soon zeroed in on the man scanning the sky with binoculars.
"What is wrong with you, Jerry? This isn't the time for—"
"Transponder Snails have a limited range, idiot! Adult Audios might be able to go worldwide, but Visuals can only go so far! That means that the floating archipelago and the Straw Hats are somewhere close by!"
"No, it doesn't… there's another option."
A soft yet scared voice redirected everyone's attention once more.
"Yoko?" T-Bone asked his young subordinate, concern written on his features.
The young Marine tugged nervously at her collar at all the attention. "There's one way a Transponder Snail can hit way above its own weight class, remember?"
T-Bone's already gaunt expression paled as he put the remaining pieces together.
"And we know who has it," Yoko continued dully. "And he wouldn't use it to just broadcast this to one island. Unless I'm way off the mark…" The girl trailed off in favour of watching the Straw Hats plummet towards the impossible canopy floating below them.
"That bastard is putting this show on for the world," T-Bone finished with a disgusted glower, turning on his heel and marching off. "Knalf, Yoko, gather the troops and return to the ship. Headquarters will be calling with our marching orders any second, and I have news to share with them…" He shot a grim look at his insectoid subordinate, who was still shuddering and warbling in terror.
"News with disturbing implications."
-o-
"Geez, this is nuts! Easily the craziest shit Luffy's ever gotten involved in, no question."
"What about the time he and the other two monsters fell down that rabbit hole and swore they found a land of fairy tales and wonder?"
"First, we proved they just got high off the shroom-spores they kicked up when they fell. And second—!"
WHAM!
"GAH!"
"SECOND, YOU BASTARDS HAD BETTER GET BACK TO WORK BEFORE I POUND YOUR SKULLS INTO YOUR CHESTS!"
"YES, DADAN!"
Dadan snorted furiously as two of her mook employees canned the chattering and got back to serving the sudden rush of customers her newborn bar was experiencing.
"They are right, you know."
The bandit queen sighed and slapped a hand to her face. "Et tu, Makino?"
The kindly barkeeper gave her new friend a smile, though that didn't slow the stream of refreshments. "Well, in all fairness, this is pretty high on the scale of madness that Luffy has been involved in, no?"
"Mmph… yeah, that's for damn sure," Dadan grunted in acknowledgement. Her eyes drifted up to the impromptu screen she'd set up in her bar, Luffy and friends still free-falling. "Still, that's no excuse for those morons to squander good business!"
"Speaking of which…" Mayor Woop Slap turned in his chair to eye the metal crate from which the show was projecting. "Where did you get that Visual Snail, anyway? Odd enough that one showed up in our village, but I don't see how you could have gotten one!"
"Oh, it's not ours!" Dogra piped up while he swung by the bar to pick up another tray of drinks. "We, uh, found it in the main plaza of the Goa Kingdom. It wasn't doing them any good, sooo—!"
"Say no more!" Woop Slap yelped almost desperately.
And luckily for him, Jeremiah Cross chose that moment to say something, effectively aborting any more incriminating comments.
"SOUNDBITE!" Cross shouted, so as to be heard over the wind rushing around him. "HOW'S IT LOOKING DOWN THERE?!"
"Uhhh…" The snail crossed its eyes as it stared down—up?— at the ground. "Good news, it sounds pretty calm, SO MAYBE WE CAN CATCH OUR—!"
"BWOOOOH! BWOOOOH!"
The bar-goers jumped in shock when… some kind of horn-like sound bellowed out.
"What on earth—?!" Makino wondered.
"NOT A-FREAKING-GAIN!" Soundbite wailed mournfully. "THEY JUST raised the alarm, WE'RE FALLING INTO A MEATGRINDER!"
"Tcheh! Well, at least things won't be boring!" Boss growled. One flipper slammed into the other, and he flipped into an upright position. "Alright, Cross, I'll help slow you down and—!"
FWOOM!
"—GAHAHAHAHAAAaaaaa!"
Abruptly and without any apparent catalyst, the Dugong was blasted away from his crewmates by a fat load of nothing. The watchers blinked dumbly, including the ones on the screen. Cross snapped out of it first.
"OH, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Cross screamed, flailing his arms in terror at the fast-approaching foliage. "LUFFY!"
"HANG ON!" The Rubber-Man angled himself so that he was positioned below the anarchist. "ALRIGHT, GUM-GUM!"
"They're going to crash!" Woop Slap exclaimed.
"We're talking about Luffy here, old man. You know, the rubber man?" Magra drawled.
"And the human being who isn't rubber?!"
Magra cocked an eyebrow at the mayor. "Aren't you the one always harping on about how the Straw Hats should just hurry up and bite the big one?!"
"…fair point. LET HIM SPLAT, LUFFY!"
"Mayor!" Makino exclaimed, scandalized. Thankfully, Luffy chose that moment to do what he did best and directly counteract the wishes of those who wished him and his crew ill.
"BALLOON!"
Mere meters from the unforgiving ground, Luffy's body distended to a massive size. When Cross slammed into him, rather than ending up flatter than a pancake, he simply sank into Luffy's inflated flesh.
…and then he kept sinking, deeper and deeper.
"Uh… didn't something like this happen with Ace?" Mogra questioned nervously.
Dadan's only response was to slap a hand to her face.
Apparently, Cross had caught on as well, as his flailing only intensified within the folds of his captain's body. "EXH'LE! EXH'LE! L'FFY, YU HAF TO—!"
BOING!
"—EAAAAARGH!"
"…That almost looks like fun," someone muttered.
The view followed Cross as he flew into the air. The onlookers watched as he flailed a hand in his belt, which, once he managed to do so, shot out a grappling hook that lodged in a nearby branch, and altered Cross's flightpath.
"…Where does he get those wonderful toys?"
"Prolly the long-nose sniper guy and the cyborg, remember?"
"Oh, right."
The new flight path took Cross up through the foliage, and when he hit the peak of his arc, he grabbed onto a nearby vine, detached his grapple and swung even further. Two more vines later, he finally let go and landed on a particularly thick tree branch.
Well… 'landed' was a bit of a misnomer. He still had a notable amount of velocity left over from his flight, and so when he touched down, he was forced to keep running in an effort to bleed out his momentum, lest he wipe out entirely.
It was through no small feat of balance and quick reflexes that Cross managed to stay upright through his little run, jumping over several gaps between the branches. Eventually, however, Cross's luck ran out: the trail of branches suddenly broke off into a sharp drop, and Cross still had momentum to burn.
The world-infamous pirate tried his best to brake himself, and he almost managed it, too, arms cartwheeled as he desperately tried to balance at the edge of the precipice. However, it was not enough: the panic in Cross's eyes was obvious as he lost his balance, started to pitch forward—
CHOMP! "GRK!"
And suddenly, that fate ceased to be as Cross's cannon leapt off his back, assumed his hybrid-form, and sank his teeth into the seat of Cross's pants, holding his master just shy of the drop.
Soundbite—who'd been shivering in terror on his partner's shoulder— allowed himself to relax, his eyestalks drooping in relief. "Hooooly SHIT that was cl—MRPH!?"
"Shhhh!" Cross hushed furiously, one finger pressed to his lips while his other hand clamped Soundbite's mouth shut. In response to his snail's confused look, Cross slowly used his free finger to point downwards.
The snail looked in the direction his friend indicated and stiffened in terror.
The bar collectively blinked in surprise, minds a-whirl, trying to figure out what could cause such a reaction.
"Well, looks like something's got Cross spooked," Magra stage-whispered.
"Yeah, but what?" Dogra replied.
As if on cue, the Visual Snail's view panned down to the jungle floor, revealing that the object of the pirates' terror was—!
Dadan blinked in disbelief. "That kid gives the Marines a verbal black eye every week with a grin…" she said slowly. "And yet he's absolutely terrified of a bunny rabbit?"
"In all fairness, it's, uh… a very big bunny?" Makino tried.
And indeed, it was quite the large rabbit, at least as large as a human being, but size aside, the critter appeared to be your average, everyday rabbit, with its white fur flecked with brown spots that rippled as it hopped about the jungle floor.
"Hey, c'mon, rabbits are tough little things!" one of their Gray Terminal customers shouted. "Seriously, Dadan, you really don't remember that cat that got gutted by one a few years back?"
Dadan was about to respond, but before she could, the sound of trees cracking and the earth shattering belted out across the connection.
In short order, the wall of foliage suddenly split apart and disgorged something that looked like the unholy union of a bull elephant and a wild boar. The beast was moving at full speed, squealing in fury, trees flying with every swing of its tusks.
And yet, Cross was looking at it with an expression of horror, not terror. It was a subtle difference, but it was a difference. "That stupid hunk of pork," he miserably whimpered.
For one more blissful second, the bar was completely confused about Cross's anxiety.
And then the rabbit's head snapped up, and all hell broke loose. It was as if they'd blinked, and then the rabbit's foot was carrying the boar down to the ground, head-first. The resulting impact made everyone wince, and the rabbit followed that up by repeatedly hopping up and down on the boar's head with great speed and force, which only made things worse.
While it was doing that, some poor soul with a somewhat weaker stomach glanced away and instead saw a massive pawprint smashed into the bark of a nearby tree, and it all came together.
"He… He must have jumped and pushed off the tree!" the bandit gurgled. "And then…"
With a final crunch, the boar's head lost all cohesion and was reduced to the consistency of a thick gravy, oozing out from under the rabbit's hind paws and giving the brown spots on its coat a whole new level of uncomfortable context. Only then did the rabbit stop hopping, though it did throw in one last kick to the boar's unmoving carcass.
"Yeah, that."
In the wake of the boar's untimely and gruesome demise, the jungle was silent… up until a twig suddenly snapped and both the killer rabbit and Visual Snail whipped their heads up to stare at Cross, who'd frozen mid-retreat, one eye twitching furiously.
"Oh, come on…" Cross whispered in disbelief. "You cannot think I'm a better meal than pork purée down there!"
Apparently, the rabbit disagreed, and quite strenuously, given how the monster-rodent's jaw suddenly unhinged to unveil a set of teeth worthy of a bear trap, accompanied by an air-shaking roar.
Soundbite's eyestalks hung mournfully. "Here we go again…"
"Less talking, more BOOK IT!" Lassoo howled in terror, leaping onto his partner-in-chief's back as Cross turned and did just that, just barely de-assing before the rabbit's feet utterly pulped the wood.
"I AM REALLY GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF GETTING ATTACKED BY KILLER RODENTS!" Cross wailed. Splinters flew around him, the rabbit hot on his heels and plowing through everything in its path.
"Technically speaking, IT'S ONLY EVER BEEN the one, hasn't it?"
"Four times by the otter," Cross snarled, throwing up four fingers, followed by his thumb two seconds later. "Once by the pigeon—which is essentially a rat with wings, so I'm counting it—"
-o-
Elsewhere in the Grand Line, Hattori was struck with a sudden urge to murder someone.
-o-
"—and now a rabbit!" The pirate jabbed a final finger skyward. "That's six! That means I can count it on two hands! It's too much, I tell you, too much!"
Makino could feel the sweatdrop hanging on the side of her head. "That boy has the most horrible luck with small animals, doesn't he?"
"Betcha he earned every one of those confrontations!" Mayor Woop Slap sniffed proudly.
"Now, Mayor—!"
"Achoo!" Cross sneezed mid-leap, precariously landing on the next branch in the canopy he'd been aiming for. "Guh, of all the times for someone to talk about me—WORGH!" The scream was accompanied by a hasty duck under the rabbit's teeth, which instead clamped onto the nearest trunk and tore out a chunk you could've carved a chair out of.
Woop Slap shot Makino a triumphant grin, to which the bartendress could only respond with a sigh and weary roll of her eyes.
"UWAAAAAH!"
At that familiar cry, any further argument was dropped in favour of going back to the screen. "Luffy!"
Cross snapped his gaze downward, past the rest of the canopy's branches to the jungle floor below. "Captain!"
To the onlookers' shock, Luffy ran up beneath the Voices of Anarchy, pursued by a crocodilian… entity. The massive reptile was particularly squat, looking as though it had been squashed flat, but it was still large enough to casually bite off the Lord of the Coast's head.
For the moment, however, the beast appeared to be content with nomming Luffy's head instead.
"CRAP-CRAP-CRAP-CRA—! Oh, hey, you guys are still alive!" Luffy's… swearing, for lack of a better word, cut off mid-word, and he shot a careless smile up at his friends as he zipped past. "That's nice! How's it going, Cross?"
"That idiot…" Dadan groaned, the base of her palm grinding into her forehead.
Apparently, Cross was of the same opinion. "You dumb son of a—GRK!" Cross only narrowly threw himself forward and out of reach of his pursuer's snapping jaws. "Getting chased by a killer rabbit! You!?"
"Giant crocodile!" Luffy jerked his thumb over his shoulder, chuckling. "It looks really weird, too!"
"That's because aside from being flat, THAT THING'S A CAIMAN!" Soundbite blandly informed him.
"Huh, really?" Luffy sent a curious look over his shoulder before scratching his head with an apologetic chuckle. "Shishishi! Whoops, my bad!"
"Don't you morons think you're kind of missing the point here?!" Cross snapped.
"Hmph… Well, this is nostalgic, isn't it?" Dadan said calmly.
"Indeed. Brings me back to the days when those brats challenged all the beasts around here, and then almost losing their heads for it," Dogra responded with equal calmness.
"Mmm… But…" Makino chimed in, but was unable to hide a clear tone of unease in her voice. "This seems… worse than Mt. Corvo, doesn't it? I mean…"
"You're right," Dadan grunted in agreement, swirling her bottle. "There's something wrong with that place. Something… off."
"GRAORGH!"
The caiman flung its head back and bellowed, stomping forward through the underbrush. It was joined by a loud skittering sound, a centipede the size of the Lord of the Coast and colored a lurid red, bursting out of the trees in an attempt to shove aside the massive caiman still in pursuit.
'Attempt' being the keyword.
Even as several bandits fainted, traumatic memories of normal-sized centipedes leaping to their minds, the pursuing caiman twisted its head and slammed its jaws down on the centipede's carapace, shattering the insect's shell in a single decisive blow. Then, without breaking its stride, the gator swung its head to the side in an almost dismissive manner, casting aside the broken insect.
At the sight of that, Dadan growled and slammed her bottle on the bar. "And that's what's wrong. The rabbit didn't try to eat the boar, and the gator didn't try to eat the bug. These… These things, these monsters… they're not fighting to eat, like normal animals."
"They're fighting simply to fight, is what you're getting at," Mayor Woop Slap snarled, his knuckles white and trembling around the head of his cane.
With that lovely revelation, a grim silence fell over the bar as they watched the chase rage on.