My first thoughts upon waking up were hastily shoved together, and the general gist was quick to slip out of my mouth: "I'M GONNA KILL THOSE—!"
THWACK!
Waking up for the second time, I was calm enough that I could fake being calm so I could try and get my gauntlets around a certain pair of scaled necks. "Okay, alright, I've calmed down, I'm ready to apologize—!"
THWACK!
Waking up for the third time, I reflected on the fact that, OK, so my tone there gave away that I was lying. But I wasn't lying anymore, for real. In retrospect, I might have overreacted a bit. "Alright, now I'm calm, you can stop—!"
THWACK!
Fourth time, my ire at the fishmen was… eclipsed. "AND NOW I'M PISSED AGAIN!" I roared.
"That's what I was looking for. Now we can start to talk," Koala stated.
I opened my mouth to ask her what she was talking about. Then I noticed I wasn't on deck anymore. I was in the aquarium lounge, highlighted by the light dancing around the shadows and fish all around me. It really felt like we were underwater. Alone. With nobody else listening…
I slowly pulled myself to my feet and walked up to the aquarium's glass, staring into the pseudo-depths. Stared at a sight that so many others were familiar with… a sight that was the only sight so many had seen their entire lives. That would be the only sight many would see.
"…they were just children, damn it."
As she moved to stand next to me, Koala gave me a questioning look.
"Hodi and his bunch," I clarified, my eyes following the fish as they idly swam about, blissful in their ignorance. "They were... for God's sakes, they were just children. They… They weren't always like this. They weren't always monsters; they weren't always evil. They… once upon a time, they were children."
In spite of myself, a wistful smile crossed my face. "Innocent, hopeful, with the whole world spread out before them, nothing impossible to them. They could have done anything. They could have gone on to become builders, artists, heroes, or... anything at all. They could have been incredible…" And then, just as swiftly, my smile died and was replaced by a blistering scowl. "But that didn't happen. That didn't happen because they were corrupted. That didn't happen because their futures were stolen away, and their lives were ruined. And because of that… so many others were, too."
I lapsed into a heavy silence, and Koala was kind enough to simply wait for me to start speaking again.
"She was... she was close, ya know?" I smiled wistfully. "Otohime, I mean. She was so close. People were starting to give her the signatures she needed; she had the document, the Reverie was fast-approaching… if she hadn't… if she'd gone…" I chuckled as I tried, tried to rub the weariness from my eyes. "Hell, if she'd managed it sooner, if she weren't being dragged two steps back for every step forward… If just one thing had gone right…"
"You think we'd be equal today," Koala tiredly summarized, having probably long since thought the same thing.
I felt the sides of my mouth turn upward. Reaching up, I rested one hand on the glass. As expected, the fish nearby immediately scattered.
"…no," I admitted. "I wish, but no. It wouldn't be that fast; there'd still be racism, still be oppression and inequality. There would still be so much work to do. But... But I think that they'd be here." I helplessly waved my free hand back at the rest of the world. "Fishmen on islands, walking on the same streets as humans. They'd be separate, yes... but damn it all, it would be a start. It would be the foot in the door for change. A foot in the door for peace and equality and tolerance, a chance for humans and fishmen to talk and know each other. I think that if one thing had been different, then we'd have had the chance to start teaching a new generation. I think…"
From out of the depths of the tank, a lone fish swam up to my hand and started glubbing about it curiously. It was so small, so obviously young and… and I couldn't help but smile at it.
"I think that the children would play together," I whispered to myself. "Regardless of what poison or ignorance their parents might tell them, the children would play together because they would just be children. They wouldn't know anything of hate or prejudice, and they'd grow up knowing their parents' words to be dead wrong. And I think they'd go on to create a future more glorious than any of us could imagine..."
And for a few seconds, a few wonderful, glorious moments, I basked in the image of that wonderful, un-ironic Brave New World…
SLAM!
And then I scowled and rammed my fist against the tank, scaring the fish off.
"…but that didn't happen. That didn't happen because one fool, one reckless, hateful fool, decided to spew his bile and his poison without a thought for the consequences, and he destroyed a generation because of it. And I…" I grimaced in shame, and it took me a second to muster up the words… but hell, what good was there in denying it. "I hate him for it. I hate him, I hate his senseless corruption… and most of all, I hate what he did. Arlong stole a most beautiful future from us, from the world… and I can never forgive him for that."
"… heh," Koala chuckled grimly, clenching and unclenching her hands. "Yeah, I'll admit, all of this is…it's…" Her smile became distinctly rictus-like as her fingers snapped into a trembling fist. "I really wish we knew where he was so that I could have a talk with him. Ah…" She blinked and looked at me curiously after a second of curious stillness. "But… You weren't even part of the crew for Arlong Park. In fact, you've never met him in person. But you still hate him that much?"
The rush of my rage drained out of me, leaving me empty and exhausted. I turned around and sank onto the lounge sofa, dropping my face into my hands. I was vaguely aware of Koala sitting down next to me as I spoke again. "How could I not? His actions speak for themselves, echoing out and affecting the world, even now that he's been defeated. I mean…" I waved a hand off into the distance. "Just look at the East Blue."
Koala grimaced. "Cocoyashi."
"It's not even about the adults," I lamented. "Once again, it comes back to the children. Right now, there's an entire generation out there that grew up fearing fishmen. And while that was justified, the problem is that, now that the threat is gone, fear will turn into hate. And they will apply that hate to all fishmen, because fishmen like Arlong are all they have ever known. And once they grow up and have kids of their own?" I shook my head. "They'll tell them of the bad old days, of the monsters from the sea that once made mommy and daddy suffer…"
"And then those new kids will fear and hate an entire species because that was what they were told growing up. Just like Hody," the Revolutionary sighed.
I yanked the brim of my cap down. No way was I locking eyes with anyone. Not now. "And hell, who knows. Maybe one will decide to become the hero humanity needs, and dedicate himself to exterminating the 'subhuman monsters', in the name of peace and justice." I spun a finger in the air. "Another spoke in the wheel. Hate rolls on unimpeded, and we're back where we started, caked in more blood than before."
There was another break in the conversation, which Koala ended with a quizzical look. "If you don't mind me saying so, even with all that, you're still taking this pretty personally, Cross. Too personal for someone who grew up in a world without fishmen."
"HA!"
Koala actually recoiled, but I couldn't blame her, seeing as I'd just barked like a mad seal.
"Yeah, you're completely right," I sneered venomously, disgust coating my every word. "There weren't any fishmen back on Earth. No fishmen, no mermaids, no minks, no nothing. Just us humans. But what does that change? Hate, racism? They're universal. So we didn't have any other species to hate, so what? We still had each other. A whole world of nothing but humans, what else would you expect us to do but turn on each other? Skin colour, religion, politics, nationality, even sex and sexuality. Throughout history, we've found a million and one reasons to divide ourselves into an infinite number of factions, all at each other's throats at the same time. It's like no matter where you go… anyone who's 'different' is the 'enemy'."
I barely acknowledged Koala's hand on my shoulder.
I did, however, acknowledge her words: "Who was it?"
I'm… more than a little ashamed and embarrassed to acknowledge that my mind blanked a bit at that statement, and as such, I acted on instinct and snarled as I smacked her hand off, shooting up to loom over her, a statue of indignation.
"'Who was it?'" I repeated, my voice surprisingly steady for the shakes that I had suddenly developed. "I can't just be a decent person with some fucking empathy? I need to have personally known someone who suffered. Bull! Shit! You don't need to fucking have bigotry happen to you, or someone you personally know, to know that it's a stupid, hateful thing that ruins lives! And the fact that that's lost on so damn many of my fellow humans pisses me off!"
Gritting my teeth, I reigned myself in, despite the effort of will it took. On the other side, Koala exhaled slowly and shook her head.
"Alright, I owe you an apology for that," she said. "I've thought the same for years; I shouldn't have assumed you weren't thinking the same way."
I really, honestly wanted to stay ticked at her, but at the same time, I knew I couldn't, and so I heaved a heavy sigh and dropped back onto the seat.
"…still," Koala eventually tried again, drumming her fingers on the cushion. "Even if something like that isn't your motivation, something is… ah. Let me try again: you tried what you've been doing here with the SBS back in your home, but failed?"
I slumped forward and all but cradled my head between my knees in shame. "Actually… the opposite. One thing you need to understand about my home? We were all connected. Everyone could speak at once and say anything they wanted… so as a result, little of worth was ever truly said. If I'd ever spoken up, I'd have been one voice lost among millions, a statistic. I couldn't 'fail' because I never even started. I couldn't speak up and make people realize just how inherently stupid they were all being, how-how asinine it is to discriminate on the physical, where such differences are ephemeral, when true evil is and always will be a mental construct, and—!" I cut myself off mid-sentence; I'd been building into a lecture… or, more realistically, a rant.
Once I'd calmed down and felt that urge leave, I changed tracks. "But here… I'm the voice. Here, I know that people are actually listening to me, that I'm reaching people…" My head sank lower as I considered the reality of things. "Even if it's only because they have to listen to me…"
"And what are you forcing them to listen to?"
I didn't answer. Didn't look up. What was there to say?
"Cross, listen to me." I looked up, just as Koala put her hand on my shoulder again. "Back on Skypiea, when you first proved to the world that you had the kind of guts it takes to do anything close to what you're doing, you said something that baffled a lot of us. You called yourself ordinary because you stood up for what you believed in and tried to help someone who needed it. I'm guessing you saw it happen pretty often in your story, but just to be clear. How many times did it happen when the Straw Hats weren't involved?"
"I, uh… well…" I hesitated slightly at that specification, and I racked my brain, thanking Popora for the memory refresh. "There was Otohime… King Riku… the Nefertaris… Gan Fall… Dalton—"
"So royalty," Koala interrupted.
An interruption I barely even noticed. "Oh, yeah, there were the Drum citizens who went to help him out…"
"Oh, yeah, heard about that," Koala muttered, which brought me out of my thoughts. "But that's a country that had to learn to stand on its own when its entire government and army bailed on them. They're not normal at all. If you and they were the norm, Cross, the Revolutionary Army would have achieved its goals years ago. Hell!" She threw her hands up with a despairing laugh. "One of our executives has the Pump-Pump Fruit, meaning that she can turn an oppressed town full of cowards into a rebel mob just by waving a flag and saying a few words, and she struggles to create a lasting impact. Maybe the norm is for people to be good, but it's not for them to be brave."
I had a rebuttal ready, myself, but that wasn't the point here. Instead, I sat back and waited for her to continue, even as she gazed longingly into the aquarium behind us.
"A year ago," she reminisced, her tone wistful. "When Hack and I liberated an island, we stayed behind for a week to help oversee the return to stability." Her face then scrunched up in a mask of disgust. "Over that course of time, the children would throw stones at Hack, call him names, dare each other to touch the creepy fish thing, and then chase each other yelling about infecting them with the fishy diseases. People whispered behind his back, others said it to his face, and at one point, the town's mayor politely asked him to leave because his presence was, and I quote, disturbing the peace."
She looked forward again and stared at her trembling fists. "The entire time, I wanted nothing more than to bash their brains out, to force them to get on their knees and apologize, for every slight, every glance. I wanted to take out eleven straight years of abuse and misery on the entire island, all at once. But I reined in my temper, because I knew that they weren't like me. They didn't know, couldn't know. No matter how much I hated them for what they did, it wasn't their fault."
I was momentarily tempted to give her a comforting hand as she'd tried for me, but before I could, she suddenly perked up, beaming with unchecked glee.
"And then you happened. You, and everything you've done." Stars bloomed in her eyes, and I was forced to actually reel back on account of just how blinding they were. "Three months ago, we liberated an island, and we stayed to keep the peace. The children stared… but this time it was in awe. They whispered about how cool Hack was, they asked if they could feel his muscles, and he even signed autographs. The people, they were always asking him if he could help out around the town and striking up conversations with him; twice he got asked if he was seeing anyone, once someone actually asked him on a date."
I really tried to compose myself—yeah, no. I snorted in amusement at the thought of Hack getting propositioned by a human, no less. "Did he go through with it?" I inquired between snacks.
Koala giggled. "You mean after Sabo, and I dragged him back when he tried to make a break for it? Four dates, then they broke it off rather than go long-distance, but they still keep in touch. I honestly think that after everything—GWAH!" Palms met cheeks, leaving behind red marks.
"A-Anyway, getting back on track…Really, I think the clincher was when the local schoolteacher came up to him. Came right up to Hack and asked him if he could stand in front of his entire class and tell them about fishmen and Fishman Island… because they were asking so many questions the teacher didn't have answers to, and because the teacher wanted to know those answers, too." Koala craned her head back, tears of bliss shining in her eyes. "And then the parents asked if they could attend the next day, and the parents' friends, until pretty soon Hack was giving lessons in the local park because that was the only place with enough room for everyone. I'm pretty sure that everyone in that town attended at least once."
I stared at her, shellshocked, trying to process just the sheer… everything she'd hammered me with. Teaching. In a park. Because the entire town wanted to know. WHAT.
While I tried to process it, Koala remained lost in her memories before wiping her tears away and turning to lock eyes with me.
"You told us that both sides needed to reach for each other, Cross. Well, guess what? For the first time in living history, humanity is reaching out. The ordinary side of humanity that never experiences half of the madness that we have. And that's all because of you and your. Big. Mouth." Each word was emphasized with a shove of her finger into my chest.
Any time else, I'd have been a bit freaked out by how she was almost looming over me with manic glee in her eyes, but at the moment? I was too busy making sure I heard every word.
"You're not a normal person, Jeremiah Cross. You're a Straw Hat. You have an earthshaking dream and the guts, power, and friends that you need to get there. You may not be able to fix the generations of hate between humans and fishmen in a day, but that doesn't mean you can't do anything. Just think about what you can do, and who you can ask for help. And then… do it. And I assure you, whatever it is you do… will be glorious."
I smiled as she finished. Honestly, I had been thinking a little too hard about the crew's upcoming separation to consider much about the slave houses beyond 'don't let Camie get captured' and 'Luffy is still going to punch out Charloss either way.' But having that pointed out to me, I really did have the resources to do something… more…
"More?" I muttered to myself as the pieces clicked together at Mach 10 in my mind. "Try 'freaking spectacular'."
"Huh? Cross, did you—OOF!"
I cut off Koala's words by grabbing her in a hug. With the ideas she had just sparked in my mind, I had a moral obligation to do no less! "You brilliant, wonderful dropbear, I could just about kiss you right now!" I cheered gleefully.
Before she could react, I let go of her, sprinting for the door to the deck. Halfway there, I heard Koala finally get her wits back about her.
"That's not much better than 'cuddly,' Cross! And what the hell are you talking about!? Hey, get back here!"
I didn't pay much attention, however, as I was far more focused on enacting the first step in my newest master plan that would well and truly hit the World Government right where it hurt. But to actually go through with this brilliant (if I do say so myself) plan, I needed to take advantage of a window of opportunity that would close any second now.
SLAM!
"MEGALO! You beautiful blubbery bastard!" I proclaimed, bringing all conversation on deck to a screeching halt. I noted the bigot-some twosome in particular jumping in surprise and summarily ignored them. I also noticed that Luffy and Jinbe had apparently been chatting; that got filed away for later. For now, there were schemes to be had!
"Quit your moping and get your head in the game!" I declared as I walked to and picked up my slimy partner-in-crime. "I've got a malevolent masterplan manifesting, and for it to come to fruition, I need your opinion and expertise regarding politics!"
"He's BACK!~" Soundbite crooned eagerly.
"And don't you forget it!" I cheered as I slapped him back onto my shoulder.
"Yeah, apparently he bounces back after he gets an idea," Koala added as she walked out behind me, giving me a wary eye I politely chose to ignore.
Several eager grins and several pale faces met that declaration.
"WELP!" Sandersonia suddenly shot up off her barrel with an overly wide and twitchy grin. "I, ah, I think I've overstayed my welcome! Places to be, evil pirates, to sink, puppies to get out from under my sister's foot, things like that!"
"Likewise!" Tashigi yelped, adjusting her bandages to maximize her mobility as she powerwalked (not fled, as she'd later insist) for the railing. "Come on, Popora, we've got to pick up the food so that we can deliver it to the pirates and get back to arresting our men!"
Popora flatly cocked an eyebrow at her.
"YES, I KNOW WHAT I JUST SAID. JUST HURRY UP AND RUN BEFORE!"
"Oh, captain my captain?" I inquired, snapping my fingers.
"Shishishi!" said the captain, snickering as he started wheeling his arms. "You got it!"
"BOOK IT!" Sandersonia wailed, leading Tashigi in an attempted leap over the edge of the Sunny. And seeing as she, of all people, tried to leap into the sea, I suppose she really was quite terrified of whatever I was cooking up; I was honestly a little flattered she thought so highly of me.
The keyword in that action being attempted, mind, on account of Luffy's arms shooting out and dragging them back onto the deck, no matter how furiously they tried to squirm their way out.
"Now now, quit your squirming, you two," I chided as I stood over them, tapping my foot impatiently. "For my plan to achieve maximum effectiveness, I'm going to need you both to chip in. Sandersonia, your Warlord-grade strength is a definite must-have for this kind of shindig. Plus, I think you're going to forever hate yourself if you're not part of this; you'll love it so much."
Sandersonia's struggling ended alongside a positively inquisitive hum. "Mmm?"
"And you, Tashigi, I need your help legalizing this endeavour so that I can better embarrass the military service you've pledged your life to. And you can't refuse because if you do, you'd be leaving a lot of innocent people high and dry to suffer."
Tashigi hung her head with a defeated groan. "Oooh…"
"Er… Cross?" Koala inquired, slowly edging towards the railing, most likely in an attempt to avoid my scrutiny. "Just wondering, but is there any truly pressing reason you need me around?"
I decided to throw the poor Revolutionary a bone and waved my hand dismissively. "None that I can think of at the moment, no."
"Great! Later, losers!" Koala cheered, shooting her less fortunate cohorts a parting salute before attempting to bolt.
'Attempting' because, on a whim, I changed my mind. "Oh, Nami?"
"Eisen Tempo," said the witch, deadpanned, and her cloudy halo shot out—
"GWAH!?"
—and snagged Koala by her ankles, swinging her around to hang in front of me.
"Hiya!" I sang, waving cheerily at her.
"YOU BASTARD! YOU JUST SAID YOU DIDN'T NEED ME!" Koala yowled, trying—and failing by a good foot—to wring my neck.
"I know, but would you believe I simply enjoy your company?" I inquired with innocent curiosity.
"FUCK YOU!"
"Fine, then I'm just greedy." I waved her off dismissively as I turned my back on her. "Nami, drop her with the rest."
"OOF! Son of a—! Uh…" The Revolutionary shrank in on herself as she looked at her two new and newly leering friends, who were very much projecting a desire to wring her neck. "Hi there, losers?"
Megalo, meanwhile, had watched the whole thing with a gaping mouth and twitching eye. That continued for a few seconds more before he tentatively raised his flipper, expression not changing on whit. "So, uh, you said you wanted to talk?"
I attempted to contain myself, truly I did, but when I thought about what was to come, of the truly unprecedented undertaking we were about to undergo—!
"Ah, screw it! I can't take it anymore!" I cackled, pumping my fist before wheeling on Luffy and dropping to a knee before him, clasping my hands in supplication. "Captain! I've got a plan that'll plant one right up this world's tailpipe, and I'm itching to let it loose! I can talk with Megalo on the way, but for now, can we get going? Can we can we can we?"
"Well…" Luffy tilted his head. "That depends: What's there to see at the Sasparilly Archaeos?"
"Uh…" I racked my brain as I thought up all the defining features of the Archipelago. The most prominent being an unchecked slave market, rampant xenophobia, and… "There's an amusement park?" I tried. "With a Ferris wheel?"
"FERRIS WHEEL!" Luffy threw his arms—"AGH!"/"YEEK!" Along with Sandersonia and Tashigi—up in the air. "Alright, let's go!" He eagerly grinned at me. "You wanna give the order?"
"HELL YES!" I raised my foot to prop it on the nearest barrel, and as I felt the wood beneath my sole, I called out our heading. "CREW, WEIGH ANCHOR! SET SAIL FOR THE SABAODY ARCHIPELAGO!"
"BELAY THAT!"
Aaand chalk up one more friend showing up, as a familiar bird interrupted us by fluttering down onto the railing and saluting me. "Good to see you as always, Cross."
"I'd like to say the same, Coo, but you're kind of ruining my moment here," I replied, the bulging vein on my forehead visible out of the corner of my eye. "And on a related note, I'm guessing that this is one of the more unfortunate early editions?"
I deliberately ignored the wooden surface under my foot that had shoved the barrel aside as she shuffled away with a blush on her face, muttering about 'old times' and 'force of habit.'
"Mmm, not so much 'unfortunate' as 'inconvenient'," Coo stated, thoroughly unruffled by my protests. That meant the annoyed frown on his face was due to something else. Great. "At least, as far as you guys go. Now, let's see… yo, white-hat." He angled his beak at Tashigi. "I'm assuming you've already told these guys about the privateer armada your people have been hiring?"
"Er… yes?" Tashigi carefully confirmed, obviously dreading where this was going as much as we suddenly were. "HQ's spent a small fortune on those lowlifes, but that just stopped."
Coo snorted derisively as he tipped his newsie's cap down. "The reason they 'stopped' was that they've hired all they needed, and the reason I'm here is that they've deployed them all. You all can't go to Sabaody for the exact reason that nobody on the wrong side of the law is going to Sabaody anytime soon: the Marines have deployed their cutthroats all around the Archipelago, and have effectively blockaded the entire thing. Or, at the least, enough of it that anyone who wants to get around it will wind up sailing straight into the Marine garrison. I hate to break it to you, but you're not getting anywhere near that island without a fight."
Complete shock rippled across the deck, and what was left of my earlier euphoria fled for South America.
"Not… part of the plan…" I gurgled weakly. "I know they hate us, me especially, but this bad!?"
"Weeell, kinda," Coo hedged. "They're trying to stop you, yeah, but not 'you' specifically. More like 'you' in general, if you catch my drift."
"Pirates," Robin calmly interrupted, thoughtfully adjusting the brim of her hat. "The rest of the Supernovas. They're reaching the Red Line at the same time as us."
"And the last thing anyone sane would want is the most infamous pirates of your generation all in the same place at the same time," Jinbe nodded sagely. "The Government is already prodding us Warlords to handle you swiftly and decisively, and, no offence, I can't rightly blame them. The New World is a delicate power balance as is. The idea of even one of you crossing the Red Line and potentially provoking an Emperor into going to war is quite frightening indeed."
"Guh…" I moaned nervously under my breath, tugging nervously at my collar. Did it suddenly get hot out here?
"I have a bad feeling in my gut…" Brook whispered to Franky. "Which, considering how I don't have one, is impressive! YOHO—!"
"Not to ruin your joke, old man, but really not the time," the cyborg said.
The literal bonehead shrugged casually. "Fair enough, it was a low-hanging one anyway."
"Well, if that's how it is, then I suppose there's nothing we can do about it," Nami sighed. "We're in no rush, so we can just find an island where we can hole up, let everyone else bash themselves to pieces against the blockade, and then once the Marines have lost interest—"
"My master plan involves us doubling our net worth, at minimum, and without the Supernovas we can't pull it off," I deadpanned.
"I'LL TURN THOSE TURNCOATS TO ASH!" Nami howled furiously. Lightning crashed down in concert with her ire, causing everyone's hair to stand on end and causing the fishy twosome to leap back in supremely satisfying terror. Still…
"As incredible as that idea sounds, I don't think it's a viable one," I carefully pointed out.
"Cross is right," Vivi interjected, gnawing on her thumb as she gazed out to sea. "The primary issue here isn't the blockade, it's how close we are to Marine Headquarters, Marineford. If we get tied up in one place too long, making too much noise, then they're liable to send reinforcements. And even ignoring how any set of reinforcements from Marineford would match a Buster Call in strength, Vice Admirals and everything, there'd almost certainly be one addition to the lineup that would mean certain death."
"…An Admiral."
I blinked in surprise, because that was the exact reason we needed to be careful. I looked around for who said it, and nearly fell to the deck when I realized that everyone else was looking at Luffy in surprise
Luffy's gaze suddenly stared at me from the shadows of his hat, and I instinctively stood to attention. "We can't just run into this without thinking," my captain stated gravely. "Cross, can you think of a plan?"
"Um…" I hesitated for a moment, taken aback by the sudden attention, but only for a moment before putting my mind to the problem. Because really, the question was, could I? After all, we needed to not only get ourselves past the blockade, but the rest of the Supernova as well. That meant outright breaking the blockade, and that… that was an entirely different beast.
Luckily, I was saved from having to answer by the clearing of a throat. An avian throat, specifically.
"Uh, Captain Luffy?" Coo, well, cooed. "This probably isn't the best place or time to hash out a plan. Which, actually, is why I'm here. So that I can tell you the best time and place."
"Huh?" Luffy curiously regarded the seagull. "Whaddaya mean?"
"Well, see, fact is," Coo explained. "You've done really well, you and your crew, but you're not the fastest pirate crew in Paradise. That accomplishment goes to the Kid Pirates and their beast of a ship, the Iron Tramp. They ran face-first into the blockade, and they tried to break through. Tried and failed, I might add. They raised a hell of a fight, but when the horizon started burning, they had to flee."
Coo donned a cocky smirk. "Which was most fortuitous, because while they were licking their wounds, the Stay Tuned caught up with them, and the Kid Pirates told us of the impending trap… er—" Coo glanced aside with a cough into his wing. "After they stopped attacking us, of course…"
"Of course," I sighed, dragging my hand down my face. Because if there was any pirate who was going to work out his frustrations on the first schmuck to come within eyesight, it was Kid.
"And so on for every Supernova that came near?" Chopper guessed.
"Not quite," Coo said. "When my captain (that's still weird to say, wow) found out about the blockade, the first thing he did was make a call." And just like that, Coo's smirk was back in full force. "A call to the only person this side of the Red Line that would be able to provide a place for over a dozen infamous pirates sailing for Sabaody this close to Sabaody while we come up with a plan to get through that blockade."
He regarded me with a grin, slyly tipping his cap. "I trust you know what the right order is now, Jeremiah Cross?"
It took me a few seconds to put the pieces together, but once I did, I couldn't keep my jaw shut. "You—You can't really mean—!" I cut that sentence off midway through as I realized that, holy shit, he did! "WOO!" Wheeling around, I jabbed my finger out to sea. "EVERYONE, WEIGH ANCHOR! WE SAIL! FOR SKELTER BITE!"
"BELAY THAT!"
"Oh, what now!?" I snapped, throwing up my hands.
"ME NOW!" Tashigi snarled, shooting to her feet and jabbing me in the chest. "Now you listen to me, you insufferably irresponsible degenerate, and you listen good! I admit that I'm just as much of an outlaw as you. I'm at peace with that, but no matter what, the world still sees a Marine when they look at me! Meaning that if I set foot on a pirate haven, I'm liable to be lynched! Or as you swashbuckling types like to put it, walk the plank!"
"That punishment's actually fallen out of favour in recent pirate culture due to it being regarded as archaic and ineffective on anyone but Devil Fruit users," Robin idly noted with a serene smile. "Nowadays, we just shoot people in the street."
"I realize that you're his sister, but must you demonstrate it at every occasion?" Conis lamented, her palm alighting on her forehead.
"She's been at that shtick longer than I've been in this world, don't blame me," I waved her off.
"SHUT IT!" Tashigi belted out, before crossing her arms and regarding me with the utmost disdain. "You and your crew can go and have fun in your pirate hellhole, but so long as I'm a Marine, I'm not going within a nautical mile of Skelter Bite alive!"
I stared blankly at her, and then I grinned widely, my expression punctuated by the smack of several hands hitting faces.
"Hm, now there's a thought…" I mused oh so innocently as I strolled over to the other side of the deck.
"OW!"
I then jumped in what was most definitely and totally genuine shock as Tashigi yelped, grabbing her foot with a grimace after I brought my steel-clad heel down on her foot… completely by accident, of course. The injury was honestly pretty negligible… buuut it was enough for my purposes.
"YOU RAGING PIECE OF—! WHAT THE HELL, YOU ASS!?" the Marine raged as she cradled her compressed toes.
"Oooh, that looks nasty," I crooned in a nice and exaggerated voice as I leaned forward and eyeballed her foot. "You'd better keep off it for a while. Say, Usopp, think you could fashion a pegleg for her? Custom job~."
"Uh… sure?" Usopp drew out, side-eyeing the irate Marine. "Any specifications?"
"Yeah." At this point, I allowed my underlying malevolence to seep into my grin. "Just make sure it matches her new eyepatch."
That statement froze the deck cold, and Tashigi was especially paralyzed, her fury forgotten in favour of horror. "Cross," she whispered weakly, slowly shaking her head in denial. "Don't. You. Dare—!"
"CONGRATULATIONS!" I proclaimed at the top of my lungs, grinning like a loon as I clapped my hand on her shoulder. "You may now consider yourself shanghaied! Welcome to the Straw Hat Pirates, Cabin Girl T. A. Shigi!"
"Chuff…"
"Ah, right. And your furry parrot, too," I deadpanned.
"KYUUUN!?"
"That's the best you're getting, take it or row back to Smokey on your own."
"Kyu…"
"YOU DESPICABLE SON OF A—!" Tashigi screeched, lunging at me. Seeing as she was limping, I dodged with ease. That didn't deter her; she just switched targets to hop for the railing. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS ONE DAY, CROSS! MY WRATH WILL BE SWIFT, TERRIBLE AND—!"
"Merry?" I requested.
Said shipgirl grinned maniacally and rammed her fist into the nearest mast.
KERWHACK! "GYAGH!"
And in short order, the 'ex'-Marine was strung up by a few strands of rope wrapped around her uninjured ankle, and in equally short order, Vivi and Conis had positioned themselves beneath said 'ex'.
"Ladies, if you'd be so kind?" I requested.
"But of course," Conis serenely stated.
"We'll see what we can do," Vivi agreed, before leering at me. "And I hope you know that the only reason we're helping you with this is that 'a lot of innocent people suffering' line you said earlier."
"I'll take my licks as they come, the end result's worth it!" I swore. "Now drop her and get this woman kitted out in some more… appropriate attire."
"YOU'LL SUFFER FOR THIS, YOU—WAGH!"
And as quick as the wind beneath their wings, the duo grabbed our latest 'recruit' and spirited her away to the girls' cabin.
"Well, that's that, and all without any repercussions whatsoever," I sang, dusting off my hands. Yeah, I was tempting fate like nothing else, what of it? Who was gonna stop me?
-o-
Elsewhere on the Grand Line, Smoker was struck with a sudden urge to punch someone in the face.
Fortunately for him, he had just come across a grunt who was assembling a collage of revealing pictures of Tashigi.
-o-
"Now…" I eyed the rest of the people on the deck. "Does anyone else have a problem with our new destination?"
Sandersonia and Koala knew they were far above our weight classes, so I couldn't forcibly coerce them like Tashigi. Fortunately, neither of them was a Marine, either.
"I'd be very interested in getting a look at Skelter Bite," Koala said, throwing up her hand. "More than a few potential recruits go pirate before they go Revolutionary!"
"Likewise," Sandersonia agreed, nodding eagerly. "All those pirates, all that booze! It's going to be the biggest blowout I've ever been to!"
Sadly, however, not all of the reactions were quite so positive, as demonstrated by Jinbe hanging his head with a defeated sigh. "I think it sounds interesting as well, but unfortunately, even if we ignore the stir that a Warlord's presence would bring, I have a little more that I need to take care of in light of today's revelations. I still haven't even gotten to the main reason I came here." The Warlord's expression darkened. "Now, if one of you would be so kind as to escort me to the brig?"
"Right, I'll lead you to them," Nami offered, getting to her feet and waving a hand for him to follow her. "We've got them in one of our spare channels. You can head straight into the ocean once you've got them secured."
Jinbe nodded and turned his eyes to me. And damn if that didn't scare a small amount of shit out of me. "Jeremiah Cross… I didn't expect us to meet like this, but you have my gratitude for what you've told me… and for what you've done." I pretty much felt the relief flood off of him as his fangs turned upward in a smile. "Your words have reached the new generation of fishmen and merfolk, and I will endeavour to make sure it keeps reaching them in the future. Thank you for what you've done, and for everything that you will undoubtedly do in the future."
With only the mildest trepidation, I removed my right gauntlet and held out my unarmored hand. "The pleasure is mine, Jinbe."
He shook my hand with a gentle grip that in no way impeded the impression that he could pulverize me in one second, and then turned to my captain and dropped his hand on the rubber man's shoulder. "Monkey D. Luffy, you're every bit as incredible as your brother told me you were. And I swear, I'll tell you even more stories of your brother's escapades soon enough…" He donned a massive grin as he crossed his arms proudly. "When I greet you in person on the shores of Fishman Island."
I instantly froze every muscle in my face at that statement. It was the only thing that kept me from grimacing in dismay at the thought of how we wouldn't exactly be seeing him again as 'soon' as he thought.
Ignorant of my thoughts, Luffy beamed and crossed his arms behind his head. "Shishishi! See you later, Jinbe!"
Jinbe smiled back, the smile remaining even as he followed Nami into the depths of the ship, though it definitely faded not long after.
"Alright, anyone else…" I mused, flexing my fingers as I resecured my gauntlet.
"Yeah, right here!"
"Oi, these guys…" I snapped my hand into a fist as I turned to face the cowed but apparently still willful fishmen with us.
"Cram it, Cross!" Kuroobi snarled, puffing his chest out as proudly as his battered ego would actually allow. "We don't want to be here any more than you want us to be here, so thank you for shopping at Takoyaki 8 and have a nice—"
"HEY, HACHI!" I yelled, letting my voice carry to the other ships. "WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO BE INTERESTED IN HOCKING TAKOYAKI TO THE MOST PROMINENT PIRATES OF THE GENERATION!?"
"WOULD I!?" came the joyful response, causing Kuroobi and Chew to slump over in depression.
"AND BARTY, YOU'RE COMING TOO, RIGHT?" Soundbite called.
"Like hell I would be missing a chance to check out the new pirate haven! Count me in!" Bartolomeo called back. "YO! SHITBIRDS! GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND HOP TO IT YOU—!"
"Then it's unanimous," I grinned. I made a dramatic move again—
"By the way, that jumbo shark there is a friend of yours, right?"
—only for Coo's slightly nervous tone to bring me up short again.
"Oh, thank you, Coo, I almost forgot. Megalo…" I grinned impishly at the shark, to his wariness. "We need to talk as we sail, but before anything else, an important question for you, one in which dozens of lives hang in the balance. …how good are you at puking on cue?"
-o-
While the ships all scrambled to prepare for departure, a few pertinent details went overlooked in the process, as such things are wont to happen.
One of these pertinent details was the fact that while they were waiting to depart, one of the larger and older (but still juvenile) Sea Kings that had been helping to tow the Cannibal had slipped away from his impromptu pack and disappeared into the waves, swimming for the briny deep as fast as his tail could propel him.
Another detail was… well…
-Less than Fifteen Minutes Later-
Five ships had long sailed off. Six heads broke the surface and took in that fact.
[DID THOSE RAGING BASTARDS FORGET US!?]
"NOT AGAIN! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH!"
[Don't suppose there's a Man's Romance about this, is there, Boss?]
[OH, THERE'S GONNA BE A ROMANCE ALRIGHT! MY FLIPPER DOWN THEIR THROATS!]
[GO, BOSS, GO!]
-More than Fifteen Minutes Later-
Ten thousand meters below the surface, the royal megalodon returned to his mistress with two uncomfortable missions to accomplish. As per usual, the doors of the Hard Shell Tower cracked open to allow Megalo to slip inside, and he hastily swam up to Princess Shirahoshi's side as the doors closed behind him, keeping a keen eye out for any ill-timed 'gifts of the heart' as he went.
"Megalo, welcome back! How was your trip?" Shirahoshi greeted him, hugging him with a smile. That melancholy smile had been the most he had ever seen on her face since her mother's passing and her imprisonment in the tower…until the reprieves brought on by the SBS began. Knowing that he would be alleviating her suffering even more, he resigned himself to the discomfort of the first task.
[Eventful, and… more than a little maddening,] the titan-shark informed her with a wary (and toothy) smile. [I, uh, also have something for you, Shirahoshi.]
The massive mermaid sat up with a grin, clapping her hands. "I know! The Octavio-endorsed 88 Skewer Special, right? With extra dipping sauce?"
Megalo hesitated for a second, actually feeling a sweatdrop flow off him into the water. [Ah… right, I went out to get the takeout… feels like a lifetime ago, so I kinda—ah, I think I left it back with the rest of the food, with Fukaboshi and your dad. Sorry.]
"Aww, really…?" Shirahoshi slumped onto her hands, her face a mask of disappointment.
[Ah, but—!] Megalo hastily added. [I-I'll go get it for you, I promise! But before that, I have something you'll like even better! Just, ah… just gimme a second…] He trailed off into a whimper, and before Shirahoshi could ask what he meant, he wheeled about and swam into the corner where he triggered his gag reflex. With expert control, he emptied the contents of his mostly empty stomach, among which was nestled a large brown bottle.
"Wh-What the…" Shirahoshi blinked in shock as she swam around her wheezing friend, eyeing the bottle in confusion. "What is this, Megalo? Did you eat some flotsam or—?"
[Open it,] the shark wheezed. [Break it if you need to! Hurry!]
With much trepidation but also absolute faith in her age-old friend, Shirahoshi clutched the bottle between her fingers and began to shake it out. It didn't take long before a rolled piece of paper came out. It was small, but this wasn't the first time Shirahoshi had dealt with items meant for people a few scales smaller than herself. As such, it was without too much trouble that Shirahoshi grasped the slip and unfolded it, holding it up to her eye so that she could read the words upon it…
Words that, the moment they registered in the Princess's brain, sent her scrambling to her Tower's doors as fast as she could swim. "GUARDS!" she hollered, pounding on the doors desperately. "SEND WORD TO BROTHER FUKABOSHI, I NEED HIM IN HERE IMMEDIATELY! HURRY!"
As Shirahoshi hollered and the Minister of the Right desperately pleaded for her to calm down before anything… untoward could happen, Megalo took the opportunity to reread the message he'd carried in his stomach. A message he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, would serve to write the pages of history itself.
"To the Beautiful Princess Shirahoshi:
I humbly request that you pass this note to your eldest brother and have him call me at the following number at your earliest convenience. The fate of many lives, fishman and human alike, rests in your hands and his alike. Together, I believe we can change the course of this world forever.
708-632-473
Jeremiah Cross, Tactician of the Straw Hat Pirates
P.S. Feel free to call us whenever you feel like it as well. We're always happy to lend an ear."