"Ah, the rest of the rabble," Komei nodded sagely, casting an idle glance at a nearby clock. "And right on schedule, too. I do so enjoy it when my adversaries are punctual."
"Yes, folks, the stragglers and scrubs in the fleet have finally caught up, and they're laying into the privateers with a vengeance!" Ito explained, out of shot, as Gif swung around to display the encroaching fleet. "I can't tell if they hate the privateers, want to one-up the Supernovas, or just really, really want that 8 billion!"
"Probably a combination of all three," Cross reasoned. "The unengaged vereens are using what broadsides they still have, but I don't think they're gonna stop them. At this rate, most of the pirate force is going to bust clean through the blockade. Ugh…"
"…okay, I'll bite, why do you sound disappointed?" Chuchun asked.
"I'm not disappointed!" the tactician swiftly clarified. "If anything, I'm anxious about what fresh hell is about to fall onto us. Because if I have any decent grasp on Komei's thought process—and I really hope I'm not overestimating my own intelligence when I say I do—this is the part where he abandons the current strategy and moves to Phase 2."
A smirk spread across Komei's face. Yes… Jeremiah Cross did know what he was talking about. Reaching over, the Vice Admiral picked up his Transponder Snail and dialled a number.
"Sir?"
"Execute phases two and three. Simultaneously."
An exhale carried over the line. "Oh, good, I would've suggested that myself, sir. There have been some complications, but if we're launching both phases, they're not critical."
Komei cocked a doubtful brow. "I see. Very well, if you think they're not critical, I won't worry."
"We won't disappoint you, Vice Admiral. KALICK!"
Komei chuckled as he raised his fan before his mouth. "Your move, Cross."
-o-
Beneath the surface, the Polar Tang's captain observed the battle, dividing his attention between the submarine's own periscope system and the Visual Snail channelling the SBS, eyes scanning for a weak spot with all the observational skills befitting a surgeon. His crew stood by at the ready for any commands… some closer than others.
"So, what's the deal with the captain?" Penguin whispered to his longtime buddy, Shachi. "He's been acting kinda weird ever since we left Skelter Bite."
Shachi nodded. "Yeah. Like, he's been even quieter than usual, hasn't gotten short with Bepo, and hasn't decapitated anyone in a week! Something's definitely up."
"Heck, he's even been humming over the last few days! I think it was that piece that the Straw Hats' snail was blaring for a while…" Penguin paused, grimacing. "Though, to be fair, that one could be because it's still stuck in his head. Damn little bastard, who cares what colour our sub is!?"
"Personally, I think he's thinking about things. And not the usual things. Secret things. Important things."
"Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So, when're ya gonna ask him?"
Penguin's eyes widened, and he leaned in a little closer. "Are ya crazy?! I'm not asking that! You ask if you're so curious!"
"Me, curious?!" Shachi shot back. "No way! You're the one who brought it up! I'd like to avoid having my liver and a kidney swapped again, thank you!"
A brief silence fell as they glared at each other. And after a few seconds of said silence, they noticed that it was indeed silent… because they could no longer hear Law humming. One tentative glance confirmed what they were afraid of: their captain was now standing directly beside them, visibly ticked off and his pet demon (read: his sword) tapping in his palm.
"Well?" he demanded in a voice that brooked no argument.
Gulping audibly, the two pirates shared a nervous glance until Shachi mustered the courage to speak. "W-We were just wonderin' what was up with you, captain. You just… you've been off on your own lately, thinkin' about things."
"Did… you find a lead on…" Penguin glanced around and leaned in closer. "Him?"
Law regarded the two for a long, impassive moment, then glanced outside the viewport of the submarine. "Damn," he sighed, slipping. "I was too late. Your yammering's already attracted the battleship."
Both pirates paled dramatically. "What battleship?!" Penguin all but demanded.
"The coated battleship we were trying to slip past until you morons started making noise." Despite his words, Law was sporting an eager smirk. "Ah, well. This'll be fun, at least. Brace yourselves, boys, we're about to get hit."
And then the deck rose up and smacked Penguin and Sachi square in the nose.
And if anyone claimed that Law snickered at that particular moment, then they were nothing but a filthy liar.
-o-
X Drake's gaze glided over the battlefield, binoculars in claw and idly ducking and swaying side to side in order to dodge the odd musket-and/or cannon ball. The battle looked to be going well: The privateers had been breaking on the rock of their fellow Supernovas for some time, and the arrival of the scum they'd gathered up was probably going to be the breaking point. He shifted his gaze east; naturally, the three crews ahead were rapidly chewing their way out, too.
CRA-KOOM!
Drake winced and ripped his binoculars from his face as he tried to blink away the spots in his vision. Yes. Very rapidly.
The battle was going well… and yet, he felt uneasy. And he knew why he felt this way, too; the Marines hadn't shown up, despite the fact that the privateers had to be veritably screaming for help. And he knew, from personal experience no less, that no Marine worth their salt would miss out on a chance to shoot at privateers and pirates as massive as this. So the question was… where were they?
Putting his binoculars up again, he scanned the sea. Water, water, ship, water, ship, ship, water bulging, ship—
Wait a minute.
He moved back to that one spot: the water was rising, sloughing off something. And he knew what that something was.
Stowing his binoculars, he buried his claws in his ship's deck, steadying himself as his battleship swayed beneath his feet. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a Marine battleship breach the water like a colossal whale, incidentally also tossing a yellow submarine out of the water like it was a bathtub toy.
Drake relaxed as his ship stopped swaying, eyeing the other five battleships breaching around them. Surrounded, because of course. Scowling, he walked over to his Transponder Snail and dialled one of the more arrogant pirates surrounding him. Which is to say…
"Bege here."
"Given your track record and typical modus operandi, I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume the Nostra Castello isn't built to tangle with Marine battleships," Drake blandly stated.
"You'd assume right," Bege grunted, unhappy with both the slight and the accuracy of it. Both snail and Drake winced as a battleship opened fire, only for the projectiles to be swatted by several barrels on said battleship before exploding against the masts. "And while Trafalgar's efforts are appreciated—if self-serving—he can't be six places at once. I'm hoping you have an idea for a valid course of action."
Water bulged again, and before Drake's eyes, three more ships—an old galleon and two more battleships—burst out of the water around three of the battleships. These sported a thick coating of kelp and barnacles rather than the glimmering sheen of a Sabaody coating, and they immediately fell upon their Marine counterparts. And the last two… well, they were busy firing on the now-panicking scrub pirates. A savage grin spread across Drake's face.
"My answer depends on yours. If I were to ask you to provide covering fire while some of us charged that one battleship, would you be capable of it?"
The snail gave an equally savage grin back. "Well, I do have some cast iron cannonballs I can offer at a discount rate…"
Nodding, Drake waited for Bege to tack into position to support the south wing. Which meant he got an excellent view of the surviving vereens as they abruptly burst into flames. Glancing behind him, he noted the north wing was also dealing with the sudden onslaught of fireships. He grinned and turned to his sailing master.
"I want a full spread of canvas up the current," he ordered. "This is our chance at the lead spot, and I'm not giving it up."
"Aye, captain!"
"Drake, you rotten sewer lizard! You knew that was coming!" Bege roared over the snail, his fury punctuated by his ship's cannons firing at full-bore and trying to sink the blazing boats before they could do the same to him.
"Oh, did I forget to hang up? And to mention the rather obvious trap?" Drake innocently queried. "Anyway, I've got just one word to say to you, Bege. A word that, for the first time in my life, I say with pride." His grin widened as he directed it straight at the castle-ship. "Pirate~."
"YOU SON OF A—!" KALICK!
-o-
"And Drake takes the opportunity to zip ahead!" Itomimizu declared. "Sneaky git, ain't he?"
"Yeah, well, so long as he's not actually firing on our asses, you know what they say," I replied with a rapidly spreading grin. "All's fair in—WHACK!" I was forced to cut myself off mid-sentence on account of nearly being shoved off the side of my ride! And the only thing keeping me from plummeting to my doom was—
"Finish that sentence," Ito prodded, face-encompassing smile twitching as he kept a solid grip on my collar, showing far more upper body strength than I expected from someone like him. "By all means."
"HE SAY NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL!" Soundbite swore vehemently from inside his shell.
"Listen to the snail, listen to the snail!" I nodded fearfully in agreement.
"Yeah, well—"
BOOM!
Thankfully, the blast of explosives—and my suddenly renewed death glare—prompted Ito to pull me back to safety, and we turned back around to face the ongoing battle.
Our eyes, and Gif's, were all drawn to the line of explosions that had erupted around the three leading ships. Most hit water or the shattered hulks of the privateers around them—and there were still a lot of the assholes trying to press in—but several bounced off of the Iron Tramp's plating, Barto's barriers, and some quick defensive work from my own crew.
It took even less time to find the source: four battleships that had surfaced behind the line of privateers, and seemed to be using them as meatshields while they bombarded from afar. And note that when I say battleships, I mean blue-and-white bona fide Marine battleships. I could see Nami and Billy fly in for an attempted attack run, only for them to hastily abort before someone in a Marine uniform evaded their lightning and nearly skewered them. I guess it couldn't be that easy.
Because behind them… nothing but pure blue sea. We weren't quite there yet… but I could feel the tipping point coming fast. I grinned; that was going to be fun. In the meantime…
"Looks like those weren't all the coated ships the Marines had! We've got four blasting away right at the head of the race! Quite ineffectively, I might add."
"Distance protects them, but it means their accuracy sucks," I agreed. Right as I said that, nearly a dozen privateer ships burst into flames and dove right at the three pirate ships, to what I'm sure were apoplectic howls from Merry and Franky. "Yeah, that'll help them. Help them get their asses kicked even harder."
Proving my point, one of the fireships abruptly lurched and then began to sink into the waves, presumably the work of one of the dugongs. Speaking of which…
"Since things seem to be in a holding pattern here, shall we go back to where the real action is?"
"Gladly!" Itomimizu replied, turning the camera view back on the larger melee. And what we saw—
-o-
First Mate Dugong panted, blood dripping down his forehead. He could readily admit that their ongoing battle to clear the three battleships wasn't going terribly well. The fact of the matter was that there were three Marine Captains and only two members of the Great Kung Fu Fleet able to match them, with their Millennial Dragon allies currently being fended off by massed musket fire.
And in his case, "match" was the best he could do.
The dugong shifted his stance and the grip on his spear, mentally growling as the Captain in front of him matched the movement. It shouldn't have been this hard; the Captain was female, not heavily built, and armed with a scarf of all things. A scarf that was somehow deflecting the head of his spear without a scratch, and which was smashing wood and flesh with equal devastation! He knew the Grand Line was nuts, but this was insane!
He was still wracking his brains for a solution to the stalemate when he spotted Foxy clamber onto the deck, lugging some sort of wooden contraption. Their eyes met; Foxy cupped his hands around his mouth.
"Get her into the air!"
Well. That was a hell of a lot more doable than beating her.
Planting his tail, First Mate Dugong kicked off into a very low frontal charge, speartip skimming a bare inch above the deck. In fact, he was moving so fast and so low that a hasty thrust from the scarf skimmed right over him, and once he was in range, First Mate spun in mid-air, the action bringing his spear around in an upward smash.
Naturally, the scarf blocked it, but if First Mate Dugong was confident in one advantage he held over the Marine, it was his species' tendency towards pure, brute strength. Muscles bulged, cloth failed to stop the swing's movement—
"YOU WON'T BEAT ME, YOU BLUBBERY LITTLE—GWAH!"
—and the result was that the Marine stooge was launched clean off her feet and into the air.
First Mate wasn't done, either. Leaping off a convenient spar, he thrust his spear at her, and though that was blocked, too, without any anchorage, she was sent flying down. She tried to wheel around to stick the landing, but she met a slight… issue on the way down.
"SLOW-SLOW BEAM!"
An 'issue' in the form of a concentrated ray of Slow-Slow particles.
Sticking his own landing perfectly, First Mate balefully eyed Foxy as he wheeled some sort of odd contraption into place, a wooden box shaped in an inverse V, sharply sloped and meeting at the top.
"And I did that, why…?" First Mate trailed off curiously. Foxy chuckled in reply.
"Wait for it…"
The Slow-Slow Beam ended, the Marine fell the last few feet at her previous velocity, legs still spread to stick the landing… and spreading even wider as her legs split the wooden horse.
-o-
I cringed, my hands instinctively shooting downwards.
"Oh, that's cruel!" Itomimizu barked, flinging an arm across his eyes in despair. "It's painful no matter what your gender is! That's just too harsh for most any living being alive!"
That got a sidelong glance out of me. "Including her?"
My co-commentator sobered up almost instantly, sporting a cheeky grin. "Hey, I did say 'most'."
-o-
With his opponent on the deck writhing in agony, First Mate Dugong turned a flat stare on Foxy. "And why do you have something like that?"
Foxy slumped over, a cloud of depression hanging over him. "Trust me, that is a long and complicated tale that I don't want to tell, and you don't want to know…"
-o-
"Er, what does he mean by 'no matter what your gender is'?" one of the Amazons gathered at Amazon Lily's battle arena wondered. And while that was only a single Amazon who happened to be seated in earshot of Hancock's throne, it was a sentiment that rippled throughout the arena.
"Yes, what did he mean?" Hancock speculated aloud. "He implies that not only do men feel excruciating pain in such situations, but they rarely stop to consider what women feel."
"Oh, let it go, the poor dears," Elder Nyon sighed. "I've talked to many men such afflicted over the years, and I can only conclude that it is a very… unique pain."
"Mmph, as you say…" Hancock skeptically replied. The reason for her truly placid response was that she was too focused on scanning the screen, an endeavour Marigold was aiding her in.
Noting the distinct lack of acid being spat her way, Nyon glanced back at two of Amazon Lily's three rulers. It didn't take her long to spot their barely hidden concern, at which point she turned back to the show. "I wouldn't overly concern yourselves. Sandersonia is easily one of the most powerful individuals in those waters, and she's in the company of the Straw Hats besides. She'll be perfectly fine."
"Mmph, but if so, then where is she?" Marigold inquired, gnawing on her thumb. "I can't imagine that Sonia would stay out of a fight like this willingly, so…?"
"Maybe that's the exact reason she's not out there in the first place. Probably keeping her out of sight for her own good," Rindo huffed, more focused on trying to reignite her cigarette than the show. "Don't forget, if Lady Sandersonia were out there and not attacking pirates, that would raise a lot of uncomfortable questions, right?"
"Mmph, I suppose," Hancock sighed wearily as she massaged her brow. "Still, I wouldn't be averse to something distracting me from my concern."
"Moving on from that… horrific sight, we—"
SKREEONK!
The entire arena flinched back, on account of what sounded like the unholy union of a howler monkey and a sword breaking, screaming out of the gathered Transponder Snails.
"You were saying?" Marigold groused, digging a finger through her ear.
"Quiet, Mari," Hancock grumbled, pointedly ignoring both the griping of her sister and the snickering of the reptilian seat that was her partner.
The camera dutifully zoomed in on the northern third of the battleships, and there was just enough time before the Millennial Dragons swooped in to tear into the reeling ships to see Scratchmen Apoo flash a victory sign before he leapt off to find more opponents.
"And Apoo clears the decks, leaving the ship wide open for the Millennial Dragons! Scratch one battleship!"
"Good work, Apoo! At this rate, just ten more ships and you'll almost be as good… as…"
Cross trailed off mid-insult, and the camera swiftly snapped around to show a sight that stunned viewers worldwide into silence: the two battleships that had gone after the scrubs were now sailing back into the fight… and they'd left a field of shattered wrecks in their wake.
"I can't say the sight of so much scum of the seas floating in pieces doesn't fill me with joy," Hancock said, not sounding joyful at all.
"Sister, you're contradicting yourself again," Marigold said tonelessly.
"Uh, whoops?"
The southern battleship, the one Law had been playing catch and return with, promptly exploded.
"Huh, powder magazine must've gone off," Itomimizu speculated. "And, y'know, the fire ships barely did anything. I think… I think we're actually gonna get through the blockade!"
As one, the assembled Amazons winced. "Did he seriously just say that?" Marigold muttered under her breath.
Cross, it seemed, was no happier about the blatant fate-tempting. "Okay, first, do you have to sound so doubtful about the success of one of my plans?! Especially one where your survival is on the line, too! And second, Ito, did you sleep through my broadcast on tempting fate or something!?"
"Actually, yes. The Back Fight we had around the time you toppled Thriller Bark saw me take a baseball to the noggin, so I was sleeping it off. Doctor's orders," Ito shrugged indifferently. "But c'mon, look at the situation! The Marines here are only going to last maybe ten minutes longer. The Marines to the west are probably crumbling as we speak! What could possibly go wrong?"
Winces were no longer sufficient. Faces met palms in a thunderous roar.
"Idiot," Hancock spat between her fingers. "I don't know why Cross is putting up with him."
"'What could possibly go wrong'?" Cross repeated, a very sickly grin on his face. Overall, he looked fit to choke a Sea King with his bare hands. "Let's find out, shall we? Head back to the frontrunners, see how they're doing."
The camera swapped once again, and the situation had changed. Somewhat. The Kids, Straw Hats, and Barto Club had cleared out the remaining privateers; X Drake was hot on their heels; and the four battleships were closing in, firing as they went. And right on the prow of the lead ship—
"Hey, look, on the battleship! It's an officer!" Ito exclaimed.
"It's a Vice Admiral!" Cross clarified furiously.
Salome let out a squawk of agony as Hancock's clenched fists crushed his coils. "No. That's Strawberry," she spat.
And indeed, it was outright impossible to mistake the long-bearded, long-hatted Vice Admiral as anyone else, both his swords out and brandished. And his identity was doubly reconfirmed by the cold, emotionless glare he was using to stare out over the assembled ships.
"Yeeesssss," Cross drawled, menacingly conversational. "A Vice Admiral on the front lines, and one of the notably worse ones in the ranks at that. 'NOTHING COULD GO WRONG' MY ASS!"
"Meep!"
"SHUT IT, MUPPET! Gugh, on the plus side, with Kid, Luffy, and Barto there we've actually got a halfway decent chance of beating hi—wait, what the hell?!"
As one, the inhabitants of Amazon Lily leaned forward in eager glee.
-o-
The Thousand Sunny rocked again, Koala shoving down the urge to go out on deck and fight for the umpteenth time. At least it wasn't Sandersonia trying to tear her way out of the chains they'd tied her up in down in the cargo hold. Again. That'd gotten old after the first five times, and even New World veterans could get seasick if you tried hard enough.
"Hard time?"
Koala directed a baleful glare at her bespectacled hold-mate. "Pardon me if this sounds harsh, but you're technically on their side, you have a reason not to be out there whipping tale. What do you know?"
"Enough, I think," Tashigi coolly replied as she adjusted her glasses. "How do you think I felt as Cross aired the dirty laundry of Ohara to anyone listening?"
"Kyuuun," Popora deadpanned, slowly starting to lift his hammer.
"Cram it, handbag-to-be!"
"Kyuuugh," the rabbit-wolf scoffed, storing his weapon away.
Koala sighed, relaxing just a tad. "Point taken. Sorry for getting snippy."
"As I said, I do understand," Tashigi soothed, glancing up at the deck with a light snicker. "Honestly, back when that happened? I had to excuse myself halfway through the interview. If I'd stayed to listen, I'd probably have tried to chop Commodore Smoker's head off."
That got an honest chuckle out of Koala. "Because he's a Logia, right?
"And a safe target, exactly," Tashigi chuckled into her fist. "As it was, I had to settle for 'merely' gutting a Sea King! Tense situation, but certainly the best dinner I'd had in a long time."
The two women broke down in chuckles at that, and the good humour lasted until they were out of breath and wiping the tears from their eyes.
"Ahh… that was nice. Thanks, Tashigi," Koala said, shooting a sly smile at her compatriot. "You know, you're not bad… for a fishy government dog, anyways."
Tashigi returned her salute with an overly exaggerated one. "Same to you, you black-hat rabble-rouser!"
More chuckles passed between them, then a companionable silence. A silence that was broken by Usopp scrambling down the ladder from the main deck.
"Guys, just wanted to let you know to buckle up tight!" he warned them hastily as he cracked open a wall and started working on the mechanisms hidden within. "Things are about to get—!"
KRA-KOOM!
All three of the mismatched individuals flinched as a ship-sized detonation suddenly rocked the Sunny.
"Hairy…" Usopp finished with a groan.
The two exchanged a glance. Hairy? After everything they had heard going on outside? Sure, it was Usopp saying it, but still…
"Define 'hairy'," Tashigi requested, trepidation colouring her voice.
"'Vice Admiral' hairy. The long beard and towering hat are pretty goofy, but it's still pretty hard to miss the—" Koala shot past the sniper, leaving Usopp standing frozen in place and staring dumbfounded after her. "Coat? What's gotten into her?"
Koala didn't hear the rest of the words; her brain was too full of memories, thoughts, counterstrategies, and UNHOLY RAGE. One part of the Revolutionary was insisting, pleading on repeat that this was a bad idea, that she needed to stay incognito, that throwing in the Revolutionaries' collective lot with the Masons and Straw Hats on a simple whim of vengeance was the stupidity of the highest order. The other half was… withholding judgment, to say the least.
She burst onto the deck, head on a swivel, passing over the ongoing battles before alighting on one of the battleships pressing forward.
There. The beard was longer, the uniform different, but that face. She knew that face. She'd known it for half of her life. It was only natural, really, that seeing that image in daily nightmares for years on end would do that to a person.
Idly, she became aware that around her, the fighting had stopped, or at least lulled. That only made it easier to stomp up to the helm and the girl manning it.
"I need a fully grown snail," she demanded without preamble.
To her credit, the ship-girl just raised an eyebrow. "Third deck, a loaner's keeping Pinkie and Brain company. Follow the electric guitars," she said.
Nodding, Koala clambered belowdecks again, quickly finding the larger snail snoozing between the two Baby Transponder snails rocking out to a Tone Dial and dialling a number.
"Kilo Oscar Alpha Lima Alpha six two two," she said immediately. A pause.
"Well, this is a surprise," Monkey D. Dragon grunted. "I thought you were scoping out Skelter Bite?"
"As if you aren't following the SBS and know about the Dead End Race," Koala scoffed, only just managing to keep her tone on the right side of civil. "Or the Vice Admiral leading the charge."
A moment of silence, then a small smirk. "Fine, Koala. As long as you understand that you'll be explaining this to Karasu." His expression hardened. "And that if it comes to it, I will sign the burn notice myself."
"So long as it brings me his head, I'd burn the world itself…" Koala winced as she registered the sheer vitriol in what she'd just said—along with the prospect of a personal meeting with the Revolutionaries' head of discipline—and calmed herself by running her fingers through her hair. "Sorry. And… whatever else happens, thank you, Dragon."
"Just make sure it isn't half-baked, Koala. Make it a fight that he'll never be able to forget."
The grin Koala gave in response would've sent even Luffy running for the hills. "That's the plan, sir."
KA-LICK!
Hanging up the sail, Koala took the ladder back up to the deck two at a time, then sprinted down the Sunny past the gathered Straw Hats, up the figurehead, and then jumped off it. Instinctively, her body shifted into the forms of Fishman Karate, and Armament Haki flooded her veins, and as she passed by Nami, she kicked off a strand of Eisen cloud for that last bit of speed.
"I have waited ten years for this, you bastard!" Koala screamed as she descended upon a very surprised Vice Admiral Strawberry. "Flaming Axe Kick!"
The Marine barely got his swords up and coated in Haki in time before Koala's kick crashed right into his guard. Both it and the blades held; the bowsprit underneath him, however, did not, and instead splintered into a million pieces. Puffs of Moonwalk kept Strawberry in mid-air, while Koala tucked in her limbs and dove for the ocean.
Any disappointment the SBS viewers may have felt was short-lived, for bare seconds later, Koala burst out of the water as if shot from a cannon. Strawberry, in a masterful display of the Six Powers, blurred from sight in an obvious combination of Moonwalk and Shave. The two met halfway, Koala's fist and Strawberry's sword clashing like angry mountains.
Yes, singular, because Koala's other fist and the pommel of Strawberry's other sword had crashed not into each other but their wielders' cheeks.
Momentum launched the two in different directions: Koala shot back down to the water, tucking her arms in and diving, while Strawberry arced over to one of the neighbouring battleships.
He touched down, scanning over the deck and the frightened Marines there. "Clear the deck!" he ordered, sending the sailors scrambling to obey.
This led to a good-sized bubble around Strawberry devoid of Marines when Koala darted up from the water, murder in her eyes and water coating her hands. Her arms blurred, and water droplets rained down on the Vice Admiral with all the impact and velocity of iron hail. But despite impeccable aim, all the projectiles only punched through the deck around him rather than his flesh. In a masterful display of swordsmanship, the Marine weaved through the droplets, each caught on the flat of his blade and smoothly deflected with the barest flick of the wrist.
And then, once the deluge came to an end, Strawberry found Koala right in his guard, one hand cocked back and doubly-wreathed in water.
"Three Thousand Tile—" she intoned.
Strawberry's eyes widened. "Iron Body!" he hastily grit out.
"TRUE FIST!"
The punch slammed square into his gut, blowing clean through both the Iron Body and the Haki coating on top. Flesh rippled, and inside tissues and blood vessels ruptured in the wake of the blow. End result, Strawberry hacked up a massive glob of blood; behind him, the shockwave of the punch blew several dozen—"Hundred and thirteen at once, NEW RECORD!"—clean into the drink. Suffice to say, Koala's smirk was both well-earned and extremely satisfied.
And then Strawberry's head met hers with the sound of a ringing gong. Her guard crumbled instantly as her mind tried to reboot, an endeavour impeded by the force of the blow smashing her clean through the deck—and from the sound of things, through several more.
Spitting out a mix of blood and spit, Strawberry jumped in after her.
-o-
"Son of a…" I groaned. Coolest thing to happen in the race yet, and the grudge match of the decade, and we couldn't see it! "Chuchun, is there any way you can get a visual on—?"
"Belay that!" Ito interrupted. "Look at the ship!"
I looked at the ship. Though I don't know why, but—hang on, was the ship shaking?
Before my stunned eyes, I watched as part of the hull burst into splinters, then another further aft, then another, and another, until finally, Strawberry came careening up and out through the deck near the bow and into the foremast, toppling it in a single blow. Naturally, Koala was right on his heels, diving straight for the Vice Admiral and driving her fist towards his face.
I decided to abstain from telling Gif to zoom in; there was only so much gratuitous violence I could show at once!… well, I mean, I'd show all of it if I could, but still, moderation, right?
-o-
Koala was all ready to continue smashing Strawberry's face in when she landed. It didn't matter that he was lying suspiciously still. It didn't matter that her head was ringing like the Fire of Shandora, or that her ribs were rioting at the unjust treatment she'd subjected them to.
It didn't matter when her Observation screamed bloody murder at her, though, and she skidded to a halt next to the toppled mast, right at the hairy edge of Strawberry's range.
"I'd just like to go on record and note," the Vice Admiral groaned as he worked his way to his feet, damaged but still annoyingly breathing. "That while I don't know who you are, young lady, I can certainly guess from where your anger towards me stems."
Koala froze in place, her pulse slowing down as she tried to process what she was hearing. "Oh?" she whispered frigidly. "And how's that?"
Strawberry took a moment to crack his head to the side, wincing at the sparks of pain that raced down his neck at the motion. "At a guess, I was responsible for some manner of misfortune that befell a friend, family member, or someone else who was close to you, and now you seek to reap your own justice upon me. Am I close?"
Koala grit her teeth as her blood froze over all the more, shame running down her spine at being read so easily. "You are… not wrong."
The Marine nodded solemnly. "Then you should also know that your quest is futile."
The freezing continued, her veins solidifying all throughout her body as doubt, damnable doubt of all things, touched her for the first time. Twenty years, and this was when she had second thoughts!? Already her legs were stiff and unmoving, but it was to her immense shame that her mouth didn't freeze up either. "…I know," she ground out, hardly believing the words dragging out of her mouth. "I know that hurting you won't bring him back, but—"
"You misunderstand."
The freezing intensified to a new level as Koala tried to process what she'd just heard… but she just couldn't connect the pieces properly. "Excuse me?" she breathed, her voice numb.
Strawberry scoffed and dusted off his jacket's epaulets. "Let me explain: you're looking to exact vengeance. Vengeance can only occur when one party has been wronged. That doesn't apply here, as I have done nothing wrong." The Vice Admiral drew himself up to his full height, positively towering over Koala's scrawny five-foot-and-change frame.
"Let me make this clear to you, girl," he intoned grimly. "No injustice has been wrought by my hands because every other Marine alive is Justice. Meaning that whatever I did to whoever it was that you want to avenge, there is no question or doubt to be had. It was what they deserved."
…and. That. Just about did it.
Koala's doubts, the ice in her veins that had kept her locked in place, that had been keeping her brain sluggish and unable to think… in an instant, it melted. Vaporized. Exploded into rage that raced to every corner of her body, burning and searing to her very core. And in that instant, something.
Just.
Snapped.
Unfortunately for Strawberry, however, this mental reversal was completely invisible, so he was unaware of how ill-advised his next action would be.
"Still," he grunted, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I shall do you the favour of at least humouring your ill-founded vendetta. Tell me, what was the name of your 'wronged'—?"
CRACK!
That was all Strawberry managed to get out; the instant that his Haki alerted him to an oncoming kick to his torso, Koala's boot planted itself in the Vice Admiral's midsection, bending him around her foot for half a second before slamming him into the battleship's deckhouse like a cannonball. His brain had only just started working again when Koala blurred up to him and slammed his torso back into the wall by his collar.
"His name," she snarled savagely, her eyes acting as windows to a soul of purest hellfire. "Was FISHER TIGER!"
Those last two words finally achieved that which the past few minutes hadn't: emotion slipped into Strawberry's eyes as the Vice Admiral was finally shaken, stricken by fear and recognition.
"Y-you're—GRGH!" he gargled out. Or at least, that was all he was able to gargle out before Koala slammed him into the wall again, this time wedging him in tight.
"And let me correct you on something, if you don't mind, because you seem to be labouring under a misconception." Koala seethed as she marched away from him. "You seem to think that what I'm about to do to you is exclusively for his sake. But see… that's not true."
Upon reaching the downed foremast, Koala turned around to face Strawberry again. And then, without even looking, she buried her arm in the titanic pillar of wood, clean up to her elbow. With little apparent effort, she dragged the mast across the battleship's deck until it was perfectly lined up with Strawberry's embedded body. A body whose struggling abruptly redoubled; he didn't need Observation to see what was coming next.
"Just so we're perfectly clear," Koala snarled, her blazing temper rapidly infiltrating her voice. "This is for what you did to Big Bro!"
And with that, she heaved her arms, twisted her torso, and in a display of downright herculean strength—
SMASH! "GAAARGH!"
—rammed the entire mass of the mast into Strawberry's midsection, wedging him even deeper into the deckhouse wall. A wall which, to the Vice Admiral's misfortune, was proving its Water 7 origins in its hellish sturdiness, merely bending instead of outright buckling.
"This, on the other hand," Koala continued, her tone rising as she hauled the mast back again. "It's not for Big Bro! This is for every sleepless night I stayed up sobbing, crying because I thought he'd died because of me!"
SMASH!
"This is for every life ruined by your actions! By your 'Justice'! By the hatred you caused! For every life lost that, for the longest time, I thought was on my head because I! Was too! WEAK!"
SMASH!
"This is for making me hate my parents—my own parents!—who I dreamed of seeing for years, all throughout that hell, because of you giving them that fucking choice! BECAUSE YOU MADE THEM COMPLICIT IN YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT!"
SMASH!
Following that last impact, Koala was left panting and unmoving for a bit, her weapon lodged in place. And despite the ringing concussion he was suffering from, Strawberry held a faint hope that that was it. That his opponent had exhausted herself. That maybe, just maybe, it was over.
The mast shifted back again.
And then Koala started dragging her makeshift gavel back, up and up and up along the deck of the battleship, right to the very tip of the bow, where she kept its bloodied end unerringly trained on Strawberry's twitching body.
"But most important of all…" Koala droned, her voice dead and her head bowed. "This… This is for your absolute worst crime of all. What I am about to do to you, I do because of the single, darkest moment you put me through."
Koala raised her head and stared at Strawberry. Stared through the cascade of tears trailing down her face, over her rictus of hurt and rage. "This…" she whispered, to herself if no one else. "Is for that single, horrible instance… where I wore that smile again."
And just like that, all hurt fled her face in favour of volcanic fury, every muscle in her body wound up like a catapult's rope. "This is for making me think, for even an instant, that I would have been better off staying. For making me doubt!" And in a single, explosive burst of movement, every muscle in Koala's body snapped into action as she flung herself and her weapon clean across the deck at breakneck speeds. "MY RIGHT TO BE FREE!"
-o-
Much of the world was left frustrated; personal though the grudge clearly was, they weren't happy with the SBS censoring all of the sound that came from Koala's mouth from the moment she was about to say the name of her loved one, even going so far as to blur her lips to remove the possibility of reading them.
…But of course, they all still bore witness to Vice Admiral Strawberry's complete beatdown.
Namely, while Strawberry vanished out of sight from the impact, his path of flight was visibly obvious on account of the back half of the deckhouse he was being hammered into bursting open by the man getting blasted clean through the entire structure, wood and metal contorting around the hole in some sick semblance of a sunflower. And while it would have been appropriate for the Vice Admiral to splash down into the waves and sink to Davy Jones' locker, he instead impacted the side of a nearby battleship.
Calling his landing 'lucky', however, would be a grave overstatement on account of the broadside of the battleship caved in as the fist of god had struck it, and left the ship listing at a visibly dangerous angle. As such, determining Vice Admiral Strawberry's final fate was proving to be something of a challenge.
"Is he still alive?" Itomimizu asked nervously.
"Couldn't tell you. I CAN'T TELL WHAT'S HEARTBEAT and what's rubble! CROSS, ANY IDE—YIPE!"
The good mood snuffed itself out when the camera turned on Cross. Women gasped. Men tensed. Children grabbed for the nearest warm body.
Because you see… Cross's expression was eerily similar to the one he'd worn while busting down Shiki's front door.
"Alright, that's it. Sorry, Komei; it's been fun, but I'd say that we've let you have your way for long enough. There's only so much I can take, and you having that particular asshat of a white hat involved in this buggery is a step too far. Captain, permission to direct the ship's path?"
"Do whatever you have to, Cross," Luffy responded. There was a single second of hesitation as Luffy's solemn tone echoed in everyone's ears, Cross's especially, but then it was gone, and Cross spoke again.
"Merry, Franky… It's time we stopped playing nice. Bust out the you-know-what."
"HELL YES," the helmsgirl and shipwright said in bloodthirsty eagerness.
"Word to the wise? I'd tell anyone in front of the Sunny right now to jump ship, ASAP. Because this… is going to get messy."
At Cross's tone, everyone watching felt a mix of dread and excitement. This only grew as the Thousand Sunny began maneuvering its way through the throng of clashing ships until it was positioned at the forefront of the mob. The lion-headed ship was positioned dead ahead, clean through the center of the privateer fleet, who were clustered together in a clear attempt to fend off whatever attack was coming. Gif's view slowly zoomed in on the Sunny, focusing on the figurehead.
"You guys are pulling out all the stops to try to keep us from getting our way, to bog us down until we're all headed down to Fishman Island via the express route. But really, Komei…" The pirate shook his head in mock dismay. "I'm a bit disappointed. I mean, I'd think that you, of all people, would know better by now than to think it would be so easy. But hey! If you think that you've got the winning hand with this arrangement, so be it! No need to take our word on the matter… We'll just let our actions speak for themselves by showing off our trump card."
And with that, the jaw of the smiling lion dropped… revealing a cannon muzzle within.
-o-
"Oh, so they're finally using that then, are they?" Iceburg chuckled, rubbing his hands together eagerly. "And for the first time too, it sounds like! Well, certainly no better stage they could have pulled it from, I suppose!"
"Any idea what he's talking about?" Zambai asked, his eyes wide and focused on the cannon.
"Not a clue," Paulie replied, shaking his head. "Him, Franky, and Merry kept shooing us away from the bow while we were building that beast. Boss told us he wanted it to be a surprise… Franky told us we'd just get in the way and screw things up."
Zambai gave him a curious look, a member of the construction crew conspicuously unmentioned. "And Merry?"
Paulie's demeanour took on a haunted expression. "Same thing as Franky, just with more…" He shivered in despair. "Creative vocabulary. Seriously, those words should not come out of a kid's mouth…"
"Right, of course… pure curiosity here, but what, specifically—?"
"Will both of you shut it already!"
"Gah!"/"Hey, what the—?!"
Their protests were promptly cut short when Iceburg grabbed their heads and shoved them down, forcing they to watch the screen.
Meaning that they were given front row seats to the more than a little unnerving sight of their beloved mayor and boss bouncing in his seat with a toothy grin reminiscent of a child on Christmas morning.
"What we are about to witness…" Iceburg whispered reverentially. "Is one of the greatest triumphs to come out of Water 7 in our generation!"
-o-
The cannon shifted slightly until it was presumably aimed to hit the most ships with… well, whatever it shot. Then… Then the cannon began to glow, killing what was now the forlorn but still alive hope that the Straw Hats were just going to be firing anything in the same ocean as an ordinary cannonball.
"Tremble before the Thousand Sunny's ultimate attack!" Cross proclaimed, eager energy revitalizing his voice as he swung his arm out. "It's time, at long last! Number 3 on my List Of Things I Want To Say At Least Once In The Right Context™!"
Cross swung his hand down and pointed his finger at the horizon, his face positively mad with glee.
"FIRE MAIN CANNON! And by main cannon, of course, I mean… THE GAON CANNON!"
The light in Sunny's maw shrank down to a singular pinprick…
FWOOOOM!
And then, what could only be possibly described as total. Devastation.
It was like everything in front of the Sunny at a fairly wide angle was outright bitch-slapped by the divine all-father of all storms. The larger battleships were either de-masted—no, stripped clean down to the main deck, 650-ton turrets included—or left as totally capsized wrecks. Smaller ships were blown apart into nothing but timbers. And the less said about those people caught directly in the path of the cannon's blast, the better.
Not even those ships on the fringes of the blast were safe, the luckiest of them listing hard and fighting to stay afloat.
The end result of this devastation? A hole, blown clean through the entire line of the blockade and an easy half-dozen ships wide.
The conference room 12B of Marineford remained totally silent for a minute until Chief Petty Officer Helmeppo slowly raised his finger. "Uhhh… Admiral Kizaru, sir? No offence, but… I think you've just been outdone."
The yellow-suited Admiral shrugged indifferently, not taking his eyes off the action. "None taken, that would take more energy than I usually have to use. No shame in being outdone by that."
"Except," Sengoku growled, his drumming fingers starting to cause cracks in the conference table. "When we're being outdone by pirates."
"Huh… yeah, I suppose that's true."
A resounding CRACK! indicated the point where the Admiral of the Fleet's fingers went from causing cracks to five neat holes.
-o-
I took a good half-minute to bask in the aftershock of the destruction. Emphasis on shock, considering the looks on… pretty much every single Supernova's face.
Barto's starry-eyed cheering was expected; Bonney's, less so, but in hindsight, not that surprising. Drake looked to be trying to catch flies with his mouth; it was so wide open. Bege, from his drooling expression, was going to be hounding us to get a Gaon Cannon of his own. Urouge and Apoo were on the deck of their ships rolling around, laughing their asses off, and Kid-
"You're muting this, right?" I muttered to Soundbite.
"CAN'T TALK, TAKING NOTES…"
Anyway, where was I… right, Killer was unmoving and not doing anything, and Hawkins was-
"Pffhahahahaha! Oh, my transceiver for a Vision Dial!"
Basically pulling an Enel. Or, well, his version of it, anyway. Honestly, his expression was quite tame, but the fact that his demeanour had shifted at all was worthy of note.
…but the crowning jewel of the reactions had to be, had to be the fact that for one glorious instant, that I was going to absolutely immortalize, Trafalgar Law was staring in dumbstruck awe at the display, complete with stars in the eyes! He forced his gaze away after a minute, but no, no, no, that was going to be framed right beside the pictures of Enel's shock. And Foxy's fear. And Robin's spit take. Oh, and that nice selfie that I took with Merry back on Water 7…
Alas, however, practicality demanded that I proceed.
"Gif, make absolutely sure that you can duplicate all of those faces for photographs later," I hissed with a venomous grin.
"(￣ε￣〃)ｂ," she affirmed.
"And Soundbite," I said in the same tone. "The following message is purely for the other Supernovas…"
"Ahem?"
I rolled my eyes at the sidelong look Ito was sending at me. "Yes, yes, and Foxy and the other Skelter Biters… I guess…"
"YOU'RE LIVE!"
I refocused on Soundbite's prompt, and I jabbed my finger forward with glee. "Attention, all real racers! In case you missed it, the blockade's been blown wide open! BURN FOAM FOR SABAODY, GO GO GO!"
Almost as though Kid was actually listening to me, the Iron Tramp belched smoke again and started chugging for the gap. Lines darted up into the air and down into the sea from the Great Kung Fu Fleet, dragons and dugongs alike hauling the massive vessels of our compatriots the right way. Foam churned from the Polar Tang's propeller, the submarine darting forward with impressive speed. Everyone else was reduced to just piling on unsafe amounts of sail and achieving whatever passed for their ship's max speed plus one.
For the most part, though, that was enough. Though nothing the rest of the pirates had done matched the spectacular shock of the Gaon Cannon, sheer attrition had left the Marines, privateers, and scum-pirates still afloat in their area, unable or unwilling to contest the sprinting true-pirates. The result was that, while no one could quite match the head start the Sunny had, the aforementioned ships were gaining, and the rest of the racers were very clearly going to make it through the hole. It all came down to performance on the home stretch, and thus sheer seamanship. Truly, this could best be defined as being anyone's race!
Well. That's what they all thought, at least. I felt an evil grin try to worm itself onto my face… and you can damn well bet that I didn't stop it.
"What the—? Uh… Itomimizu?" Chuchun gulped heavily, staring over his wing at me with a rapidly multiplying cold sweat. "Cross has got that insidious look again! You know, the one he gets every time someone suffers?"
"Huh? What?" Ito blinked at his bird in confusion before blinking at me and gurgling in utter dismay. "Oh… oh, no. Cross, I don't know what the hell you're thinking… but knock it off right the hell—!"
I grinned massively and interrupted him by planting a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Itomimizu, my dear, dear friend. I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank you for helping me compose the most wonderful phrase in all the seas, right up there with 'Pirate~'. Wanna know what that phrase is?"
Not waiting for an answer, I shoved my maniacal face in his panicked one and hissed like a man possessed a devastating series of words: "All's fair in love, war, and pirate games."
"Catch you on the flipside!" Soundbite crowed with a chorus of cackling.
Itomimizu was already grappling for my throat to throw me out of the air. Or at least he was until I jumped off of Chuchun.
"Wh-Wh-WHAT THE—!?" the pair of them cried out as I free-fell towards the Sunny, a sensation that reminded me unpleasantly of our Strong World safari. But it wasn't like I was unprepared this time; as I neared the Sunny, I pulled a cord at my chest, and the parachute Usopp had made for me—and that I was going to damn well wear everywhere from now on!—deployed, allowing me to glide through the air with all the grace of a feather—
SLAM! "OOF!"
—until I faceplanted into the mast like a drunken bird, but hey, at least I got back to the Sunny alive.
"Uggghhh… is a knack for dramatic entrances really too much to ask?" I groaned as I stumbled back to my feet, swaying about before shaking off my dizziness in favour of grinning at the Novas looming behind us, their ships looking distinctly… unhappy. "Oh, yeah, them. Better tell them what's up, huh?"
"YEAH, YOU BETTER!" Soundbite snickered. "You'll forgive me if I don't transmit their foul, foul words, but… ON THE PLUS SIDE, MY ARSENAL IS RAPIDLY EXPANDING!
"You mean your vocabulary?" Nami inquired flatly as she and Billy landed back on the Sunny, joined in short order by the TDWS, Boss, and Koala, thus bringing our ranks back to completion.
"TO-MAY-TO, TO-PROFANITY, all the same to me," the snail chirped with a grin. He turned his gaze downward briefly. "Franky, are we LOCKED AND LOADED?"
"Give me three more seconds to get this last barrel into place, and… YES! Start talking, Cross, I'm powering this thing up right away!"
"Gladly," I sneered before addressing the Supernovas with my arms swept out in a perfectly grandiose manner. "Ladies and gentlemen, fellow pirates, buccaneers and assorted ne'er-do-wells, allow me to inform you all exactly what has just happened: A path to Sabaody has been opened, the privateers' doom has been assured, a court-martial of some sort has been made likely for all white-hats involved… and you all? Have been bamboozled."
Now the rear of the Thousand Sunny began glowing again.
"Because, you see, while the Gaon Cannon may have been our trump card for offence, we've got one more for defence. Or more precisely…" I jerked my thumb in the direction of Sunny's aft. "Escaping? Seriously, no one ever questioned the effing hole on Sunny's rear?"
"WE'VE BEEN DOUBLE-CROSSED!"
"CROSS, YOU SON OF A—!"
"WHAT THE HELL!?"
As the enraged bellows erupted from the Novas and washed over us, I glanced curiously over at Soundbite. "I thought you weren't transmitting them?"
"I'M NOT, that's au natural! HEEHEEHEEHOOHOOHOO!"
"Ah, the wonderful schadenfreude of other people's outrage…" I sighed wistfully before redirecting my smirk at them. "And as for you all! How many times do I have to say it? Pirate~! If you'll excuse us, we're just going to go ahead and take all the money for ourselves! And now… HIT IT, MERRY!"
"WITH PLEASURE!" our helmsgirl cackled as she rammed her foot into the appropriate lever. "BEHOLD, YE SCURVY MAGGOTS! THE TRUE AWE OF THE THOUSAND SUNNY! COUP DE BURST!"
One second, the Thousand Sunny was relatively close to other ships. Next, they had a simply glorious view of our asses as we hightailed it out of dodge! Though I imagine said view was a wee bit distorted from how our escape knocked them all for a loop, but hey, what're you gonna do?
"PFFHAHAHA!" I cackled, adrenaline racing both from the flight and from the plan that I just pulled off. Then a thought occurred to me, because there was only one way that Komei couldn't have seen that coming.
"Oh, and by the way, Sengoku?" I snickered. "This is how we got away from Garp at Water 7. If you didn't already know about this, then here's a consolation for us breaking the blockade: it's all Garp's fault, so feel free to beat the rice crackers out of him."
-o-
Captain, Commodore, and Vice Admiral stared blankly at the screen even as the latter offhandedly moved to dial his superior's number.
"Puru puru puru—KA-LICK! Uh, h-hello?"
"This is Vice Admiral Komei. I'm calling to give a status report to the Fleet Admiral."
"Uh, well… he's a bit…"
"GARP!"
"…Busy at the moment… I can take a message?"
"Ah… no, that's probably for the best. I'll try again later," Komei responded, wincing and hanging up the snail without another word. He let loose a long-suffering sigh and reached up to rub his forehead. "Well, since it seems I have time to formulate a response… what's the best way to phrase what happened here?"
"You mean the way that doesn't see us strung up in front of a court-martial and sent to serve as role models for the grunts at G-5?" Commodore Smoker clarified in his dispassionate, deadpan tone.
"That's the one, yes."
"…Hina would like to suggest," Hina started slowly, taking the time to pick her words. "That we remind Marine Headquarters that we were told to expect an unruly mob of pirates… and that at the least, Hina heard nothing of a coordinated spear thrust."
"Also emphasize how many pirate crews we did bag and all the privateers we've cleared out of the sea lanes," Smoker added. "Between this and Shiki's little recruiting drive, Paradise is going to be practically pirate-free for months now. To say nothing of the sudden loss of spare military power in the South Blue."
"Mmph, yes, that will suffice," Komei nodded sagely as he stroked his beard. He then heaved another sigh. "Though I suppose that none of that will soothe the burn that this is all, once again, on account of the Straw Hats' actions, and the fact that Sabaody isn't stocked with troops is on account of my hubris…" He shook his head in surrender. "But that is on me, and I shall shoulder the blame as I must. For now, however…"
The genius Vice Admiral hid his smirk behind his fan as he regarded his erstwhile subordinates. "Why don't we take this moment to discuss your recent misdeeds as well, hm? Your, shall we call them… unsanctioned friends?"
The two smokers immediately froze up, exchanging looks of pure shock as they processed the implications they held. And then, as one, they slumped in despair.
"Not again…" they moaned.
-o-
I rode the adrenaline high as long as I could, and that went on for a damn long while… but unfortunately, the sobering sight of Sabaody Archipelago's mangroves looming on the horizon, and I found myself falling into a more serious state. Only my confidants knew the main reason.
But quite frankly… the other reasons were enough on their own.
"Soundbite, can you deaden your hearing?" I asked quietly.
"Huh? Why d'ya aassssSSSSSk—!"
I winced and gave my partner a wary look when he suddenly trailed off into static. "Too late?"
Soundbite, half-withdrawing into his shell and his eyestalks drooping were signs pointing towards 'yes'. "O-O-OH… so, THAT'S what pure despair sounds like… WELL, this is going to haunt my nightmares FOREVER…"
"Let me give you some perspective there: your nightmare, their reality. Be grateful for what little you have to suffer with," Nami said, joining me beside the railing, her eyes closed.
Yeah, that just about killed the mood. The rest of the journey to the giant mangroves was composed in grim silence. So grim, in fact, that I began casting about for a way to lighten things up a little. Have someone start speaking in farts and chicken clucks? Nah, I'd done that twice this month already. Try another comedy sketch? Eh, that needed setup; can't just pull that out of a hat. C'mon, c'mon, there had to be something that—oooof course.
"Hey, Nami?"
"What?"
"Where should we go to meet Hachi?"
"Oh, right, we need to—PICK UP MY TREASURE! EEEE, WE'RE FILTHY RICH!"
Everyone onboard jumped at the supersonic squee that suddenly bitch-slapped them without warning. But when they recovered, most of them got stars in their eyes as well, and exclamations filled the air about what all they could and would be buying.
"A statue, a big bronze statue of me!" Luffy cheered, running around like a kid in a toy store.
"Ammo stores," Merry crooned, hunching over her cannon and petting it a wee bit possessively. "Ammo stores for days! MWAHAHA!"
"Hmm… saaay, I am technically part of your crew right now, correct?" Tashigi asked, a light growing in her eyes. "Any chance I could take a few million with me and trawl the weapon shops? If Roronoa can have the luck of the devil, then so can I! Hell, I'll drag him along with me if that's what it takes!"
"Some new weights would be nice…" Zoro scratched his chin thoughtfully, completely oblivious to the threat to his autonomy.
"And maybe enough for us to share, to boot!" Boss nodded in sage agreement. "For truly, the image of shirtless monuments of muscle and machismo pumping iron in the gruelling hot sun, is that not the essence of a—!"
SLAM! "GWAH!"
Our pet dugong's daily ranting was cut off when the door to the deck below opened right into him. Sandersonia came out, rubbing sections of her arms and legs where the chains had rubbed against her. "Hmph… I concede that there was no way I could feasibly get involved with that beatdown… but damn was that situation one bad lurch away from landing me in some unpleasant flashbacks. I need some skin-on-scale contact; where's Orchid?"
"PORT SIDE, and trust me, she's been having about as much fun HANGING ONTO SUNNY'S KEEL," Soundbite informed her, pre-empting the adolescent Yuda that had surfaced next to Sunny.
Sandersonia pressed her forehead to the Yuda's with a relieved sigh. "Ahhh, that drives the blood pressure back down from panic. And helps me ignore being back here again of all places…" She paused in realization and looked around the deck in confusion. "Hey, I thought I heard Boss on the way up here, but I don't see him anywhere. Did he leave or something?"
"Um…" Koala hummed uncertainly, poking at the door the Zoan had slammed open. "Not… quite." She pulled the door open, revealing the older dugong to have been pancaked into the wall.
Boss let out a wheeze as he coughed up a not-inconsiderable amount of ash and tobacco. "Medic…" he rasped.
"LET'S GO, BOSS, LET'S GO!" the TDWS crowed as they carried their teacher off, foisted above the four of them.
"Aheheeeh… whoops?" Sandersonia chuckled and sheepishly scratched her head. "Sorry about that?"
"He'll shake it off, don't worry," Zoro waved her off.
"I'll check anyway…" Chopper offered uncertainly, before his gaze suddenly darkened and turned on Koala. "And as for you… don't think I wasn't cataloging all the hits you took fighting Strawberry. You're not going anywhere until I run you through the concussion protocol—our crew's custom protocol, mind you—and patch up the rest."
Sweating profusely, Koala's eyes darted around for an escape, an action that might have been more convincing were her legs not visibly quivering with the effort of holding herself up.
"Fine, fine," she sighed after a couple of minutes, holding up her hands in surrender. "But you're bringing that spare Transponder Snail you've got into the sickbay!"
"If that's what it'll take, then so be it. NOW MARCH."
"Yeah, yeah, go make sure she doesn't bite it or something," Nami distractedly said as she leaned over the edge of Sunny's railing and scanned the waters. "Now, where's Takoyaki 8? Where's! My! Mon—!?"
SPLASH!
"YOU GUYS WERE SO INCREDIBLE!"
"GWAGH!?"
Nami's impending moneygasm was promptly matched and overwhelmed by a spray of seawater and mermaid limbs colliding with her and taking her straight down to the deck in a tangled heap.
"Why are we even surprised at this point?" Lassoo yawned from where he'd curled up for a nap.
The tangle was quickly undone, but that still left Camie flopping on top of Nami, her tail slapping the deck with unrestrained glee. "Straw Hats! I'm so happy to see you're safe!" the kissing gourami mermaid squeed, her arms tightening their grip on our weather witch. "You all were like, pow! Wha-bam! And that Muscle Docking thing! So cool! And the way Koala beat up that Vice Admiral, and then and then and then, when the ship went all whoosh!" Camie threw out her hands, smile wider than ever. "Oh, it was so awesome I thought I was gonna die!"
"She was right at the edge of the blast radius, so she almost really did die," Pappug chimed in as he hauled himself up the side.
The mermaid froze for a moment before slumping over, finally releasing Nami as her adrenaline flatlined. "Spin cycle sucks…" she groaned.
"Easy there, Camie," Vivi soothed, hefting the mermaid up and leaning her against the railing. "Chopper's got his hands full right now, but I've got a few nausea pills left."
"Ah, n-no, I'm fine, really," Camie chuckled, still grinning as she waved the princess off. "It's just that that was all just! So! AMAZING!"
"It really was," Pappug chuckled before side-eyeing his master/apprentice/whatever. "But, ah, Camie? It seems to me that you're forgetting that we're not here just to fawn over the Straw Hats, remember?"
"Oh, right! Oopsy!" the verdette mermaid giggled, slapping her hand to her forehead. "I'll go get the stuff, be right back!"
Before any of us could ask what she was talking about, Camie flipped back over the edge into the sea. And then, before any of us could properly worry about her, she was back on deck, only this time hauling a… frankly rather large crate behind her like it was nothing. Man, credit to mermaids: fighters they might not be, but that sure didn't mean they weren't strong as heck!
After shaking off her fresh coat of water, Camie gave us all a beaming smile. "We're here with a special delivery for you." She did a double-take when her eyes passed over Nami's berry-signs, but it was only a short pause. "Hachin still has the prize money, and we'll show you where he is soon enough. But before that, Pappug has something else that he wants to give you first."
That got shocked looks out of all of us, and almost as one, we turned to boggle at the smug, sunglasses-wearing starfish.
"You have something you want to give us?" I repeated.
The invertebrate sniffed as he adjusted his shades. "I'd say don't sound so surprised, but I do understand where you're coming from. Still, doesn't change facts…" Pappug bowed his head—well, face—solemnly. "But a few days ago, I heard tell that your crew had something planned for this island… from Sonia and Koala."
I spared a moment to shoot a growling scowl at the visible, suddenly innocently whistling one of the pair of outlaws.
"And the reason that's important is that if even a fraction of what I suspect is true… well." Pappug jerked his shades in such a way as to unleash a sharp gleam. "Let's just say that my suspicions were enough to justify me putting in a call to my main branch down on Fishman Island, and the delivery arrived at Skelter Bite just as we were shipping off."
His appendages opened the latches on the box, and after a not-so-subtle double-shove from me and Zoro, Nami came over and peered inside. And our unflappable navigator only needed one look to immediately jerk back and stare at Pappug in awe.
"Holy cow, is this… the Sharktooth line?!" she gaped breathlessly. "The Criminal Brand's brand spanking new, 'so exclusive not even royalty can reserve it' Sharktooth line?! I-I thought this wasn't due to release until two months from now!"
"Oh, it's not," Camie answered, both beaming and brimming with pride. "Pappug was coordinating with his designers back home all week to rush out this lot, just for you!"
Nami stepped back, immediately reaching for her wallet. "H-How much—?"
"It's on the house."
The deck froze as Pappug leapt onto the chest, back turned to us, and head bowed in a… cliché but nevertheless cool gesture.
"And also, you should know: it's not Sharktooth anymore, I've scrapped that name." Pappug gazed at the approaching mangroves of Sabaody, a look of wistful longing clearly written on his face. "This line… is now called 'Though A Bird Can't Fly'. Because if you're going to do what I think you are… then the publicity that will arise from you wearing my brand while doing it will be more than repayment enough! And besides…" He spun around and raised his… the chin part of his face high. "I can say with confidence that it is an honour, to me and to the Criminal brand, to have pirates… no, to have humans such as yourselves wearing these clothes!"
What could we say to that? What could we do? Well, stare. Staring seemed to be a pretty good bet.
And then said starfish smirked and tapped his foot on the chest. "Well? What are you waiting for, an invitation? FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED, PIRATES!"
That broke the ice like a sledgehammer, and it was not a small mob that… well, mobbed the crate of loot.
"Oh, that looks cool! Gimme gimme!" "No way, I had it fi—!" "I SAID GIMME!" THWACK! "OW! YOU LITTLE TWERP!"
"Hey, this looks nice! Say, does it come in green?" "Sorry, no substitutions!"
"Hell yeah, now this is what I call metal!" "Psh, you think that's metal, sniper-bro? Just you wait, gimme a few minutes to slap together some armour and then you'll all really look metal!" "You're making armour? Then I'll take some too!"
"And I hope you guys realize that this isn't just for the humans on the crew; I specially ordered a few things for your crew's better half, too, from snails to elephants." "Really? Let me at it, then I need to update my regalia!" "Got anything in a 'husky'? I know I look like a 'beagle', but I promise you I'm a 'husky'." "Translation: 'saint bernard'." "SAY THAT TO MY MAW, FLUFFBALL!"
"Hey, this looks neat! Shishishi!" "That's… just a different colored vest, Luffy." "So?" "…I don't have a good response to that."
As the mob proceeded in earnest and knees and elbows were flung about without a care in the world, I stood a few meters back and watched the exchanges with a fond smile. Ah, to see the crew all together like this… man, I just wish it could last forever.
THUNK.
But alas, it couldn't. The end—however short, however fleeting—was fast approaching, and it was heralded by Sunny casually drifting into the mangroves and knocking against one of the roots.
I stared up and out at the scenery before me. Man… how many more times can I say it? One more will do, I suppose: awe-inspiring.
Surprisingly enough, it was actually the anime that got it right, for once: an entire world, encompassed by the mangroves. A horizon, tinted green by flora stretching as far as the eye could see; a sky enclosed by a roof of greenery; the very air itself filled to the bursting with bubbles aplenty. Even the air itself was tinged with the chemical-natural smell of soap.
And then there were the mangroves themselves. Just… pillars of pure wood, in every which direction, connecting earth and sky both seamlessly and effortlessly. Even a single one of the trees would qualify as a skyscraper… and there were dozens of them, easy.
It was… it was…
"A prison."
I glanced to the side, raising my eyebrow at Pappug as he gazed out at the archipelago, his shades completely masking his emotions. After a moment's silence, I gestured for him to continue.
"I've been where you stand, Cross. Every truly adventurous inhabitant of Fishman Island has," the starfish carried on in that flat tone. "Sabaody Archipelago looks so wonderful, so beautiful. It draws you in, promises you wonderment and excitement…" He bowed his face, still utterly stoic. "And then you just can't leave. The trees, the roots, the leaves… all parts of a titanic, territory-wide cage. Entry is universal, departure is infeasible."
Pappug's expression remained unreadable as he turned to face me. "You think you know what you're up against? You think you know this monster? Then tell me this: how many children a year disappear into Sabaody Archipelago, seeking to experience the delights that Sabaody Park has to offer? How many parents suffer the same fate in search of those same children? And how many others are lured in based on all other manners of false promises and delusions? Well, Jeremiah Cross?" Pappug gave me an intense, searching look over the top of his shades. "Can you answer me that?"
I stared at the starfish with just as much intensity until, eventually, I bowed my head and lowered the brim of my hat over my eyes. "I don't know those numbers, Pappug. Not a one."
Pappug nodded in sad acceptance and started to look away…
"And really, I don't need to."
Before snapping back to me in shock.
"Because at the end of the day? The numbers don't matter. What matters here is words. And there are only three words I do know for this place. Only three that I need to know."
And with that, I leaped over the edge of the Thousand Sunny…
SQUISH.
And set foot on the Sabaody Archipelago.
As the resin of the soaked ground coated my greaves, I felt the reality come to mind once more. This was the last day that we had together. Our last adventure was the people we are today.
I couldn't change that fact. Wouldn't, honestly, even if I could.
But just because I couldn't change that, didn't mean I wouldn't change one little thing. And that one little thing… was oh so simple. Mark my words, world…
"The only words I need to know," I growled with utter venom, glaring dead ahead into the heart of evil. "Are not. One. More."
The Straw Hats would begin their years-long hiatus, alright… not with a whimper, but a BANG.