The weeks that followed were the happiest of my life.
I didn't say that lightly. I'd had happy moments before. Santorini. My father's smile. The day I took over the company. But those moments were always clouded by something. Fear. Pressure. The constant feeling that happiness was something I had to earn.
With Lucas, it was different.
Happiness with Lucas was easy. It was morning coffee and late-night conversations. It was his hand finding mine under the table during meetings. It was the way he laughed at my jokes, even the bad ones.
It was coming home to someone who was just... there.
"You're staring," he said one evening.
We were on the couch. I was supposed to be reading a report. Instead, I was watching him.
"I'm not staring."
"You're definitely staring."
I set down the report. "Maybe I am."
He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Because I can." I shifted closer. "Because I spent five years not looking at you, and now I'm making up for lost time."
He pulled me into his lap. "That's a lot of lost time."
"Then I'd better get started."
I kissed him. Slow. Thorough. The way I'd wanted to kiss him for weeks but had been too shy to try.
When I pulled back, his eyes were dark.
"Vivian."
"Hmm?"
"You're going to make me forget that I'm supposed to be professional tomorrow."
"Good."
He laughed. "You're terrible."
"You love it."
He looked at me for a long moment. "Yeah. I do."
---
The next morning, Sophie caught me smiling at my phone.
"You're texting Lucas, aren't you?"
I looked up. "I'm reviewing quarterly projections."
"You're texting Lucas. I can tell. You get this goofy look on your face."
"I don't have a goofy look."
"You have a goofy look. It's adorable. It's also very distracting for those of us who are trying to work."
I put down my phone. "What do you want, Sophie?"
She sat across from me. "I want to know what you're doing this weekend."
"I don't know. Lucas and I don't have plans."
"Good. Because I'm throwing a party."
I blinked. "You're throwing a party?"
"A small one. Just friends. At my apartment. You're coming."
"Sophie..."
"You need to socialize. Outside of work. With people who aren't Lucas."
"I socialize."
"You socialize with me. And Kevin. And sometimes Mr. Harrison when he talks about his garden. That's not socializing. That's work-adjacent socializing."
I frowned. "What's the difference?"
"The difference is alcohol and bad decisions." She grinned. "Come on, Vivian. It'll be fun. You can bring Lucas. Kevin will be there. Some people from marketing. It's low-key."
I hesitated. "I don't know if I'm good at parties."
"You've never been to a party with me. That's about to change."
---
On Saturday night, I stood in front of my closet, panicking.
Lucas was on my bed, watching me pull out outfit after outfit.
"You've tried on seven things," he said. "They all look good."
"They don't look right."
"What are you going for?"
I stopped. Looked at him. "I don't know. I don't know what people wear to parties. I don't know how to be a person who goes to parties."
He got up and walked to the closet. He pulled out a simple black dress. Soft fabric. Not too fancy. Not too casual.
"This," he said. "You look beautiful in this."
I took the dress. "You're biased."
"I'm honest." He kissed my forehead. "You're going to have fun tonight. Sophie's your friend. Kevin's your friend. They want you there. Not the CEO. You."
I looked at the dress. "You think?"
"I know."
---
Sophie's apartment was small and loud and full of people.
When we walked in, someone cheered. I realized it was Kevin. He was holding a drink and wearing a party hat.
"Vivian's here!" he shouted. "The CEO has arrived!"
"Kevin," Sophie hissed, grabbing his arm. "We talked about this. No work talk."
"Right. Sorry." He lowered his voice. "Vivian's here. The non-CEO person. Who is definitely not the boss of any of us."
I laughed. "It's okay, Kevin. You can call me CEO. I'm still CEO. I just also go to parties now."
He grinned. "See? She's cool. I told you she was cool."
"You told us she was terrifying," someone from marketing said.
"She was terrifying. Now she's cool. People change."
I looked around the room. There were maybe fifteen people. Some I recognized from work. Some I didn't. They were sitting on mismatched furniture, eating chips, drinking something pink from a plastic pitcher.
"Want a drink?" Sophie appeared beside me. "It's my famous punch. It's mostly vodka."
"I'll take one."
She handed me a cup. I took a sip. It was sweet and strong.
"This is dangerous," I said.
"That's the point."
---
An hour later, I was sitting on Sophie's floor, playing a card game I didn't understand, laughing at something Kevin said.
I didn't know when I'd relaxed. At some point, the tension in my shoulders had melted. The voice in my head that kept saying you're the CEO, you have to be professional had gone quiet.
I was just... Vivian.
"I can't believe you've never played this game," Kevin was saying. "It's a classic."
"I was busy being a CEO."
"Terrible excuse."
Lucas was beside me, his hand on my knee, his thumb drawing lazy circles. He wasn't playing. He was just watching. Letting me have this.
"You're staring again," I whispered.
"You're having fun," he whispered back.
"I am."
"You're glowing."
I felt my face get warm. "Stop."
He smiled. "Never."
Sophie appeared with another round of drinks. "You two are disgusting. I love it. Drink."
I took the cup. "How many have I had?"
"Does it matter?"
"It might."
"It doesn't. Drink."
I drank.
---
Later, we were on Sophie's balcony. The city was spread out below. Lights everywhere. Noise drifting up from the street.
Lucas was behind me, his arms around my waist.
"Today was good," I said.
"Today was good."
"I've never been to a party like that before."
"What kind of parties did you go to?"
I thought about it. "Business dinners. Galas. Events where people wanted something from me."
"That's not a party."
"No. It's not." I leaned back against him. "This is a party. This is what a party is supposed to feel like."
He kissed my hair. "I'm glad you came."
"Me too."
We stood there for a while, watching the city, listening to the sounds of Sophie's apartment behind us. People laughing. Music playing. Someone singing loudly off-key.
"I love you," I said.
He went still. "Vivian."
"I love you." I turned in his arms. "I've known for a while. I just didn't know how to say it. I didn't know if I was allowed."
He looked at me. His eyes were bright.
"You're allowed," he said. "You're always allowed."
"I love you, Lucas. I love the way you take care of me. I love the way you make me laugh. I love the way you look at me when you think I'm not watching." I touched his face. "I love you."
He kissed me. Right there on Sophie's balcony, with the city below and the party behind us.
"I love you too," he said against my lips. "I've loved you for so long I forgot what it felt like not to."
I smiled. "That's a long time."
"It's been worth it. Every second."
---
When we went back inside, Sophie took one look at us and screamed.
"FINALLY!"
"What?" I said.
"You said it. You finally said it. I could tell from the way you came back in. You have the look."
"What look?"
"The 'I just told someone I love them and they said it back' look. It's very distinctive."
Kevin looked up from his cards. "You guys just said 'I love you' for the first time?"
I felt my face burn. "Maybe."
He grinned. "Took you long enough."
Lucas put his arm around me. "We got there."
"Yeah, you did." Sophie raised her cup. "To Vivian and Lucas. Finally."
"Finally!" everyone shouted.
I laughed. Lucas pulled me close.
"Finally," he whispered.
I looked at him. At this man who had waited five years. Who had loved me through the worst of myself. Who was still here.
"Finally," I said.
---
That night, I wrote in my notebook.
I told Lucas I love him tonight.
Not almost. Not maybe. I said the words. Out loud. Where everyone could hear.
And he said them back.
I didn't know it could feel like this. Like flying. Like falling. Like finally coming home.
I spent so long being scared of love. Scared of being hurt. Scared of losing someone I couldn't live without.
But Lucas isn't something to be scared of. He's something to hold onto. Something to fight for. Something to keep.
I'm going to keep him. For as long as he'll let me.
Maybe forever.
I closed the notebook and looked at Lucas. He was asleep beside me, his face peaceful, his hand stretched out toward me.
I took his hand. Held it.
"Forever," I whispered.
He didn't wake up. But his fingers tightened around mine.
And I knew, somehow, that he heard me.