Chapter 9-Nothing Left To Lose
ETHAN >< ><
I staggered back, my knees buckling, and I hit the floor hard. The impact jarred every bone in my body.
Blood—my blood—gushed out, warm and sticky, soaking my shirt in seconds, bubbling up into my throat. I gasped, choking on it, the metallic taste flooding my mouth like I'd bitten into a penny.
My lungs burned. Each breath was a knife twist, like I was drowning from the inside out.
I couldn't move.
I gathered what little strength I had and slowly brought my fingers to my chest, pressing against the wound on instinct. I tried to hold myself together, to stop my life from spilling out through my hands—but it wasn't working. My hand felt unbearably heavy, like it had its own weight, dragging me down with every second.
My legs were useless. Just twitching spasms that wouldn't listen.
The room spun slow, edges blurring, but I could still see them—the masked bastards—standing over me.
Pain radiated everywhere, making my vision spot black.
The way I was bleeding, I estimated that I had barely ten minutes left.
I wasn't even sure if I could even hold on for even five minutes but I was trying my best to stay awake as long as I could.
I gathered what little air I could, my chest heaving and forced the words out through the blood.
"I p-p-promise… to g-get y-you… and h-have my r-revenge… no m-matter…"
They came out slurred and gargled, blood spraying with every syllable, dribbling down my chin.
My tongue felt too big and heavy, like it was swelling and was shutting my mouth.
Before I could finish, a boot smashed into my mouth.
His foot connected square with my jaw, snapping my head to the side.
My head snapped sideways. Something cracked. Fresh blood flooded my tongue. I gasped and coughed, red spraying across the floor. My teeth felt loose. My lips split open.
"Buddy, you're already dead!" he snarled, voice muffled under the mask but dripping with mockery.
"Why the fuck are you still running your mouth about killing? How the hell you gonna get revenge when you're bleeding out on the floor like a gutted pig? Or you still think you're gonna live through this? Sorry to break it to you, kid—you won't."
The others laughed.
"How the fuck are you going to kill me and get revenge when you're fucking dying with mommy dearest?"
He nudged my shoulder with his boot, like I was trash on the street.
My fingers clawed weakly at the floor. My body wouldn't answer me anymore.
I tried again to push pressure into my chest wound. My palm slipped in blood and I almost passed out from the wave of dizziness that followed.
But I forced my eyes wide, staring up at them with nothing but hate.
Then, one by one, they yanked off their masks. Smirks on every ugly looking face of theirs.
One had a scar across his cheek, another a crooked nose. They grinned down at me, teeth flashing in the lamplight.
"This is who we are, baby!!" one of them said, leaning down so I could see him clearly. "What are you going to do about it?".
Another one spread his arms wide. "Stand up and shoot us? Have your revenge on us?"
He laughed. "Oooh wow. I really can't wait for that revenge plot of yours. Go on, hero. Get up."
I dug my fingers into the rug, my nails scraping and catching as I tried to hold on
But my body wouldn't obey. It was shutting down, piece by piece
I blinked hard, forcing my eyes to stay open, memorizing every damn face.
I'll find you. All of you.
Even if hell takes me — I will remember.
A gun lifted toward my head.
The barrel looked huge from down here.
"Goodbye," he said. "Rot in hell or heaven or whatever you believe you'd be in—"
His finger tightened on the trigger.
But then—a phone rang.
He froze and the others shifted, uneasy.
The leader pulled it out of his pocket and checked the screen, and barked,
"Hold up."
The shooter frowned. "What?"
"Why waste the bullet on the little bastard? He's dead anyway—look at him leaking all over the place."
He looked around the room, then smiled.
"Nah. Let's make it better. Set this shithole on fire. Let 'em burn to ashes. At least they'll get a preview of hell before they go."
The others nodded, quick and eager, like it was the best idea they'd heard all night.
"Make it fast," the leader snapped. "Or you'll join 'em. We ain't got all day."
In seconds, they were moving—grabbing a gallon jug from somewhere.
They doused everything..
They splashed it across the floor, over the walls, over the furniture. Over my parents.
"No…" I tried to say it, but it came out as a wet whisper.
Fuel soaked Mom's clothes. Dad's body. The rug. The curtains. It stopped just short of me — the container coughed empty with a hollow glug.
"Outta luck, huh?" one muttered, kicking the empty can aside.
One of the men flicked the lighter, dropped it to the ground, and the floor instantly ignited in flames.
Heat slammed into me, singeing the hairs on my arms.
They bolted, footsteps thundering out the door, laughing as they went.
The house lit up like a bonfire, crackling and roaring, smoke curling thick and black toward the ceiling.
"Mom…" I muttered, voice a broken rasp, barely audible over the flames. My eyes stung, tears mixing with the blood on my face as I watched the fire lick at her hair, her clothes, turning everything to char.
"I know… this is gonna hurt… but please… just bear it. You won't feel it… long. I promise."
The smoke clawed at my throat, making every breath a torture.
But the fire… it wasn't reaching me yet.
I just lay there, inhaling the nightmare, watching my parents—my everything—get swallowed by the blaze.
I focused on them. That's all I had left. The only thing worth seeing as the world faded.
My chest barely rose now, each hitch weaker, the pain dulling into this numb fog.
"I'm… h-happy…" I breathed, the words dissolving into the smoke.
"At l-least… we a-all d-died t-together… so I… w-wouldn't… l-live w-with the g-guilt…"
Another shallow breath. It hurt too much to take the next one.
"If… if we g-get… an-another life…"
My chest barely moved now.
"I'd… w-wish… f-for you… to b-be my p-parents… ag-again…"
The flames roared.
My world dimmed.
Their burning shapes were the last thing I held onto—
—and then everything went dark.
...
A sharp ringing cut through the darkness.
Thin at first.
Far away.
It kept coming.
Again.
Again.
Again.
My eyes snapped open, wild, searching, as if the darkness itself had betrayed me.
I dragged in a ragged, desperate breath, choking, gasping, as if I had been drowning for hours under some invisible weight. My whole body jerked violently.
The ceiling stared back, blank and white, cruelly ordinary. No smoke curling into the air. No flickering flames. No screams ripping through the house.
And yet… my face was wet.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, slipping into my ears, down my neck, soaking the pillow beneath me.
My fingers curled into the sheets, knuckles white, gripping nothing but the air.
My shirt stuck to my skin with sweat.
My heart pounded
Alive.
I was alive.
Why?
A broken sound crawled out of my throat. Half-sob. Half-laugh. Completely ruined.
I stared at the ceiling as the tears kept falling nonstop.
"I really wished for me to die with you both…" I whispered, voice cracking to dust.
"But why did I fucking have to be saved???"