A few days passed staying on that boat, eating what little we brought with us, but leaving in the wilds like we used to meant we had a lot of supplies as winter was nearly coming and our provisions were high.
What we took with us could last for a month maybe two, according to mom and dad, but my curiosity never left and in that night I remember I finally had a chance to ask mom about all that I saw.
The clear night's sky and the spectacle of lights that were above us that day made the discussion all the more incredible, the sea almost kept still just for me to tell mother everything and hear the story she gave me as an answer.
The bright white moon made it look like I was on a stage and the light wind and waves were my spectators. My mom stood by the boat wheel guiding it left and right almost hypnotically, it was her shift, and dad was sleeping because he kept the night's shift until now.
I went near her to attract her attention, I just called and she immediately turned off the engine and sat down in front of me smiling to keep both my morale high and to stop me from worrying she asked if that day I sang.
I told her I did, and that it made me calmer just like she said, but remembering about that day reminded me of the scar that she bandaged more carefully a day before and which she sewed two days ago.
It was a reminder of that day, of that one and all the days to come for it was all just the beginning. She looked worried at me because she noticed I had something to say but knew I was holding back for a few days now.
She came closer to me and started to tickle me up and down my body. I remember crying in laughter as I rolled around the deck like fluffy potato, she didn't stop until I grew the courage to say what I had in mind. To your knowledge, it took a long time...(Hey, I was shyer back then, really... stop laughing already)
She immediately stopped when I told her I saw something that day that I could not forget. She stood by and listened to the whole story, all the details and the exact order in which it happened, she did not stop me at all, on the contrary, she looked dead serious at me the whole time. I remember her eyes gazing deep inside me, realizing I was not lying, it was the truth.
When I ended my story, she looked around for a few seconds and gave off the small hint of a proud smile while turning back at me and looking me happily in the eyes. Back then she said to me:
' Very long ago there were no humans and no earth and nothing in the world, nothing but the great ice giant Ymir, the father of all giants both of flame and of ice.
Back them the great warrior godly people, the Aesir came and fought long and hard with the ice giant, eventually felling the old god that ruled over everything and nothing at the same time. From his gigantic body the realm of men formed:
"Of Ymir's flesh was the earth created,
of his blood the sea,
of his bones the hills,
of his hair trees and plants,
of his skull the heaven;
and of his brows the gentle powers
formed Midgard for the sons of men;
but of his brain
the heavy clouds are all created"
The Aesir ruled the nine realms with an iron fist from their homeworld of Asgard.
What you saw was the portrayal of one of them- Woden and his two crows Huginn and Muninn who are his eyes and ears across the nine realms, he is mostly imagined as an old clocked wanderer holding a wooden staff.
His iconic feature is that he is missing one eye but don't let that fool you he is a god of death and war, he takes the souls of worthy warriors that fell on the battlefield to the halls of Valhalla where all the warriors fight to the death all day only to be revived in the evening to feast and drink together.
The legends say that they will fight side by side with the Aesir in the events of the last war, the end of all things- Ragnarok. But don't fear young flower, his presence is a good omen or even a blessing, it is a motive to celebrate, the all-father came to Midgard after millennia of solitude. I'll go down to wake up your father, you stay here please.'
Mom's words brought daylight in my life after what happened that day, the feeling of insecurity that everything was my fault, that the black figure was actually looking for me, wanting something from me, and that my parents will get caught in the middle festered day by day.
But the happiness in mom's voice left me only with joy, she was proud of what she heard, a long-forgotten sign that we were not left on our own on this earth, a feeling of both uneasiness and satisfaction that we were proved we are not just simple people, we are decedents of something greater and more important than our daily lives.
While waiting for mom to come over with dad, which roughly took about 10 minutes (my pa' was not really a morning person) I kept looking at the moon and the stars, wondering if someone else is watching them with me right now.
All of the stars seemed aligned and yet unaligned, you could look at them for years and still find something new to look at. The gentle colors of the night's sky only shined greater in the presence of this silent sea that only reflected the lights in the sky.
Looking at the moon and its reflection in the water dance in union with the rise and fall of the waves and the light breeze of the water made me realize just how beautiful our world really is and made me want to keep going in this boat, I longed for other lands, other people and customs and their stories and most of all I longed for the peace of quiet of the hills crowned by green shallow grass prancing happily with the wind while enjoying the annoying sound made by that stupid goat which I would not see ever again.
Eventually, mother came with father (it lasted more than 10 minutes) who took off his clothes to reveal a large range of tattoos and symbols embedded in his skin and flesh, almost dancing in the light of the moon, they shined like great spirits of old.
His skin was painted with white all over his face and lines are drawn all over his body that seemed endless and eternal. Mom sat down next to me while telling me that dad is dressed in honor of the ancestors, here to celebrate the events that took place that day.
While thanking the gods and ancestors for the mercy we were given. Mom told me to go in the middle of the deck, sit and close my eyes. I just did as I was told; I did just that and closed my eyes with a smile.
Mother started singing something in old Celtic while beating the floor of the boat rhythmically. I could hear dad's footsteps as he was circling me dancing, jumping and hitting the ground frenetically with his feet while mom started to burn something that smelled intensely weird.
The smell filled the air and the old verses clouded my senses in such a way that I stopped hearing dad eventually. The feeling of mystery and curiosity made me brave my little girly child's mind and go through with the ritual while enjoying the nice breeze of the wind that finally graced me with his presence.
The serene sound of mom's voice resonated with the ocean making it wobble and cobble at her will almost driving us forward in the direction we were heading.
My father eventually joined her in singing, this time with harsher sounds that brought out the wildness in our hearts while bringing out the truth of the world from under our feet.
When my father went on chanting for several minutes the sea itself obeyed and shook the boat more harshly while the wind and clouds started to gather around us like a hurricane.
The sound of thunder crawled around us while the royal light of the night's sky started to fade and lose to the clouds who invaded their domain. Eventually, I could feel light tears of rain settling on the top of my head and making their way down towards the ground while the other drops of rain crashed violently on the ground.
The voice of both mom and dad eventually stopped and I could hear them getting closer to me and finally took me in their arms to tell me just how happy they are that we are alive and that our lives could finally go back to the way it used to be in the north, our home...
In a few seconds, they both withdrew from my side and settled one in front of me and one in the back. My mother who stood behind me put both her hands on my shoulders while dad took some white paint and drew lines on my face that started on the top of my forehead and splitting to encircle both of my eyes, eventually merging into two lines that went across my face and past my scars and down onto my neck. Dad said to me after he was finished:
'Now you one with our ancestors, all of your actions will both bring great honor to them. Rise Wylda bearer of our ancestors' legacies. Rise and bring with you their wrath and their mercy. Rise...'
As I rose to my feet I could feel the weight of lifting my mother up also and also my father's words that came from his father and his father before him. They both hugged me once more before we went quietly to sleep, today we celebrated...tomorrow we will fight.
Again it hit, again it hits, it hits, it hits, it hits, my head hits against the side of the boat while my eyes barely make up any of the commotion, the sack of supplies flies across the cargo hold hard and nearly hits me, breaking when met with the splinters from the cracked wood where I cut my cheek.
The cheese and salted meat started falling out of it and flying everywhere. The sound of cracks and squeals of the ship's bindings and nails stole anything else that is happening inside or outside the wood and metal prison I sat in.
From all the horrifying noise I could make out my father's screams from outside. I was meet with an undistinguished feeling of fear and disappointment as my blood started to warm all of my body, making everything I could move shake.
My feet gave up as I feel back on my knees and hands. I was locked down there, not knowing what is going to happen, I felt incapable of practically anything, being totally reliant on my parent's help and strength, I wanted a way to help them, one way to make things right.
I couldn't come back to my feet so I crawled one foot at a time, one hand at a time feeling my heart jumps at every movement of the boat, and screaming each time I heard the crack of a nearby wall, eventually, my terror jumped when I felt water gathering in around me, slowly filling the hold while my tears and sweat only made it grow larger, my hands and feet felt like they wanted to give up hope, to give up to the embrace of the water.
Even as it started to come near my neck I felt the steps of the hold and started to climb, something that became harder and harder as the ship start to tilt more and more, gripping with the last strength of my finger and the nails started to bleed all over the wood and the water, clouding my vision of where I stepped.
I eventually leaned out for the trap door that went out into the storm. The water behind me filled with scrap wood and bread, cheese and meat from our supplies cache.
As I leaned out into the opening I could see the water rising meters over the boat and the rain like stones hitting hard upon my face, blinding me.
My mother was trying to set the anchor but it seemed something was off while my pa' was handling the steering of the boat. Blood coursed through my veins harder than ever before at the sight of this gruesome, merciless scenery and I did not know what to do for a second, I rushed to my mom's side to try to help her untie the hard knots that seemed locked tightly at the side of the ship, It could be our only hope against the might of the roaring waves and the deadly sea wind almost like a typhoon.
My dad looked up us and shouted that we come back to him because we were in grave danger, but it was worth the risk if we managed to untie it.
Dad quickly left his post and ran wildly towards us, shouting at me to go to the wheel and try to keep it steady as best as I could, I ran and I ran almost slipping two or three times when I eventually reached the "safety" of the wheel.
I quickly grabbed it and noticed it was almost impossible to keep it steady, its wetness made it harder and the roaring waves kept spinning the wheel in any direction it wanted while the constant splash of the water tossed me from side to side as the waves pushed against the side of the ship.
I had to do all I could for our safety, now it was my chance, my only way to make up to all the things my parents did for me, all the sacrifices they had to make.
I found it upon myself to take a big piece of wood and to stick it inside the wheel to obstruct its movement for a few moments, maybe just the moments they needed to untie the hard steel anchor that rested on the side of our ship.
I watched them struggle not to fall at each hit of the waves while not drowning in the constant splash of both seawater and rain.
Both of my parents looked in tandem towards me and just in the same way they both started screaming and having a pale terrified look on their faces. When I looked to my face there was only one thing...stone.
The ship crashed upon the hard face of the coast and threw me at the side of the wooden wall, my parents where both holding tightly to the anchor that it seemed to have save their lives if only for just a moment more, for as soon as our safety seemed a little more closer at hand, another wave crashed upon the side of the boat, making it hit harder the side of the rock which did not give up any inch to us, it cracked the boat in two before our eyes.
My eyes went blank in that moment as my feet started to move on their own, my mind was empty, all hope was lost but my body still moved, my heart was broken but my lung kept on breathing, my tears fell but my movements unhindered.
It was due or die, I ran instinctively towards my parents and as the boat split harder and harder, I took one last breath before jumping to my death in the water or to almost certain death in my parents arms.
I did not feel my heart those few seconds and the cracking of the wood, the sound of metal bending and twisting, the waves crashing upon the stone cliff, they all faded, all I could feel was the breeze of the wind and the sight of my parents looking terrified at me not knowing if they should tell me to jump or to stop me from doing that, but my body moved anyway.
The last step was the one when I looked down upon the still water that laid below me, ready to embrace me to my death, it was a welcoming sight compared to the raging inferno that went one before and I still saw the cheese that our stupid goat made a few weeks ago, some was already floating and other bits and pieces were still flying, that stupid goat...
Who kept banging her head against the wall of the hut...
When my body was moving through the air I could swear I saw him again, the dark figure in the fog except for this time he was standing on top of the hill, I could make out his hood and staff just for a moment before the two ravens stole the sight as they flew towards me.
When I blinked they were gone and I was falling down towards my parents, it was the only thing I could do for them in that moment, I could live with them or die with them but only together, I will not let myself be protected by them anymore, I have embraced my ancestors.
I was not going to make it, I could see myself advancing slower and slower but falling faster and faster, my mom looked at me with horror, trying to grasp for a few breaths of air just to reach out to grab me, so did my pa', he leaned toward me in the last hope that I could grab his hand and be with them once more.
As I fell below the deck where my parent was and getting closer toward the water I suddenly felt relief for there was a chance that I will go to the halls of my ancestors to feast with them, maybe just maybe I would receive the honor.
A few seconds after I felt something grabbing my forearm and holding tightly as my body kept going ahead when it all went black...
I woke up in an instant but it was so dark I couldn't see my hands, I couldn't hear anything but my breath and my heartbeat and there was freezing cold all over the place.
I rose up to the sound of screams and noises that I have not heard the sound of before and fire, a large fire, the sound of fire burning down something.
A boy, the scream of a boy, the slicing sound that skin makes when it meets with the knife and a constant feeling of death creeping in behind you.
Sooner and out of nowhere snow started to fall all around me, thick snow, snow like I have not seen before and before I noticed I found myself on top of a body of water, constantly moving in one direction.
When I turned around I was back on the ground, this time deep inside the snow with a constant feeling of hunger and before I knew it I couldn't feel my fingers, when I looked down at them they started to fall one by one until the pain brought me to my knees.
Before I knew it I was back into nothing, where I felt nothing. I looked around and at my hands, nothing seemed to stand out to me just something at the end of a hall, the end of a big hall, I had a feeling I had to follow it.
Eventually, when I looked down on the ground I could see footsteps that I followed almost perfectly and when I looked up front I noticed I was actually going backward and when I stopped and closed my eyes, it was all peace and quiet for a moment.
When I sat down and grasped my knees with my hands while keeping my eyes shut I felt the presence of something in front of me, something was getting closer and closer when I eventually sensed its wet nose that started to smell me.
I reached out to it, I could feel its soft fur and big stature but when I finally dared to open my eyes, he was gone like the morning breeze of the sea. I saw myself again in a forest this time, less lovely and more dark and ancient, at which end stood a big tree, where rivers of blood sprung out off and into all directions.
I got closer to it and in its front; there was a small opening on top of which stood once more the two crows, both looking at me this time. When I entered that hallowed ground, I fell I found myself in a stone hall surrounded by pillars that went up into the abyss and stairs to my sides that went down into haven.
There was only one path it seemed I could take, as I went forward braziers lit with blue flames and the ground started to shake as I reached my destination, the statue of a wolf, a giant wolf, who seemed chained by untied chains.
The wolf laid on his belly with his head directed straight at me, with two great stone pillars on his side where the broken chains seemed to have their origin. I reached towards the chain because I felt they were calling me to them; there was something I needed to do...
When I touched the great chains that tied the wolf to the ground, his great yes opened as the ground quaked in his wake, his great yellow eyes were the only thing colored about him as his fur was of a deep black that seemed to swallow all light.
As he rose up the ground split, the skies opened, the holes in the ground spitfire and before I realized the wolf was looking straight at me, his eyes fueled with the hatred of a thousand spirits, all of their anger pointed at me.
I started to run in the opposite direction, hoping that I could make it out. As I gained ground on the large beast, he started to run, the ground quaked and crumbled at his wake, and giant golden spears dropped out of the sky, trying to hit both me and him, I ran and I ran and I ran for what seemed like a full day but actually was just a few seconds for I felt the giants wolf hurricane breath at my back, the heat of his beating heart getting closer to me and the moment I looked behind all I saw was darkness and his yellow devilish eyes...