Chapter 19 – Why so serious?
Cassius's eyes snapped open, his mouth wide as he sucked in laboured breaths.
His face was covered in sweat, trailing down and sinking into his chest, mixing with the tears striking down his cheeks in a relentless stream.
He pressed his lips into a bloodless line, shifted back into a sitting position, body stooped, head buried inside his trembling hands.
The room was immediately flooded by the stench of melancholy.
'Ah… bloody hell.' Cassius cursed.
Because of opening his mind to Ananke, he had found himself reliving all those memories as though they were happening for the first time.
Those memories he thought he had made peace with. Those memories that had made him who he was.
He remembered Kaden, his best friend, and wondered how he was doing. Whether he was mourning his death.
He remembered his sweet, crybaby sister, who always wanted to be carried by him.
He remembered his mother's gentle smile, always indulging whatever he wanted, earning them both a look of quiet dissatisfaction from his father.
And he remembered his father too. The tall, dark-skinned man who had worked relentlessly to provide for his family. The man who had landed in a new country, weathered trial after setback after trial, and pushed on to give his family the life he had never had.
That was the family he had lost to a random car accident. Something so basic it was almost laughable in its simplicity.
Then came the memories of the graveyard, and those people hardened and tempered by life's brutal sister. Men who worked with death, for death, alongside death every single day.
Only now did Cassius fully realise how special those people had been. And how differently they lived.
They lived freely. Like travellers stopping at a random town to rest before continuing on.
Just like they always said: this life was nothing but a temporary stop. Everyone would continue their journey.
Everyone.
At that, a particular conversation between him and that snarky old man surfaced in his mind.
'Life is short,' the old man had said, pipe in hand, passing him yet another novel. 'Why take it so seriously? Death comes for us all. It's not a matter of if or when. What matters is how.'
'How?' Noah had echoed, taking the novel with curiosity barely flickering behind his empty black eyes.
'Aye, boy.' The old man had laughed, grunt and gruff, as if deeply amused by the futility of life itself. 'It's how you die that matters. Not if, that's a fact as sure as gravity. Not when, that question will blind you and stop you from living. Only the how matters. Heard me, lad? That's why…'
He had slapped his back with a loud, uncontrollable bark of laughter.
'Why so serious?'
Cassius blinked, trying to clear the blur from his eyes, pulling himself back to the present.
The experience had dredged up even more things he had forgotten. Including memories that belonged to Cassius.
'Keisha… Klaus… Natalia…'
Oh, good lord.
'Cassius knew them?' He shook his head. 'Of course he did. He is a noble, like all of them. And nobles of this Kingdom always knew each other.'
Especially if Keisha's Family lived inside Desde City. A Tier Three Family, but one with strong ties to his own…at least, in the past.
Now he remembered. And he knew what he had done to her.
He clicked his tongue in annoyance and slight pain.
But why had it never been mentioned in the Game? Was it simply because Cassius died so early that none of it was ever deemed relevant?
He had no idea. There was also much about Cassius's life he had now uncovered. How he changed. Why he changed.
It was nothing dramatic or heartbreaking. It was simply how the Desdemona worked. No one could grow up inside that family without brushing against some degree of darkness.
And that kind of thing always changed a person. Especially a child still finding their way into this world.
'But Cassius's shift was chaotic. He was left to do as he pleased, with no one ever trying to teach him.'
His family had spoiled him too much.
'But I am different.'
He would not become a mindless villain like Cassius had been. A Villain, yes. But not any villain.
And now, after all of this, if at the beginning he had still been able to separate Noah's habits from Cassius's…
…it was no longer possible.
The two had become one. A single, better version of both. All because he had chosen to open himself to Ananke.
And speaking of the Goddess…
"Why such silence?" Cassius asked, wiping his tears with the back of his hand, inwardly embarrassed by such a display.
Ananke said nothing for a moment. Her mind was still stitching together everything she had just learned.
To call it shocking was being generous.
She had no words.
After all, how does one react upon learning that one's Blessed is the fusion of two beings, one from an entirely different world?
And how, further still, does one react upon learning that her life and the life of her entire world were in fact a game?
She was left in complete dismay. But it didn't last.
All of that was important. Staggering, even. And yet there was something more fundamental at play.
The simple fact that this young man had trusted her. Had taken an enormous risk in laying himself bare before a divine gaze.
It was probably the most idiotic thing he could have done.
And yet Ananke couldn't deny it. She had been moved.
She had witnessed the story of Noah, watching him move through life's hurdles.
And she had witnessed Cassius's own, watching him grow into who he was.
Two different, unrelated stories. Yet they had found each other through some twisted logic she couldn't fully fathom, and formed something entirely new.
Something…
'…worth witnessing.' Ananke made her verdict, and mentally shook her head.
Once again, she was stepping onto a path of no return. But this time it was different. Because this time, she knew exactly who she was walking it with.
'Ah… that's why I am a lone Goddess. So fickle. So unpredictable. No Faction could ever take me in, fearing what I might do the day the sun chose to rise from the west.'
But this boy had chosen her when no one else did.
So she would choose him in return.
[So,] Ananke's voice rang out, softer than she intended, [What should I call you? Noah? Cassius? Last Born of Desdemona? The Boy of the Gra—!]
"Cassius." Cassius cut in, smiling with relief. "Just call me Cassius. That's who I am now."
Ananke paused. Then slowly…
[Well, Cassius…]
He closed his eyes, exhausted.
[You have my loyalty. I, Ananke — Goddess of Fate and Secrecy — give it to you.]
At that declaration…
DING!
[You have succeeded in your Fated Quest.]
—End of Chapter 19—