"THIS ONE FAILED TO RECOGNIZE MOUNT TAI, MASTER."
John smirked. He did love a good Xianxia meme.
Shenron proudly puffed its golden chest out, the scales shifting with the deafening sound of grinding tectonic plates. "WITH MY NEW, UNBOUND POWER, WHILE MY ONE-YEAR SUMMONING LIMIT REMAINS, I CAN NOW FULFILL THREE WISHES AT ONCE."
John exhaled a massive sigh of relief. The gamble had paid off.
"Perfect," John said, stepping forward. He kept his wording extremely careful. Monkey's Paw logic was a bitch.
"For the first wish," John declared, his voice echoing across the crater. "Return the Earth and the Moon back to their prime. Before the war, before the cosmic entities, before the Viltrumite invasion. Make it the perfect cradle for human civilization."
Shenron lifted his head high. His red eyes lit up like twin suns, casting a warm, golden glow over the apocalypse.
"BY YOUR WISH, IT SHALL BE DONE!"
And just like that, the world changed.
Like a fast forwarded reel of film. The lava geysers abruptly stopped, the magma flowing backward deep into the crust, sealing the fissures shut perfectly. The massive chunks of moon rock that had crashed into the plains reversed their trajectory, flying back up into orbit.
But it wasn't as simple as time reversal. The empty space previously occupied by the cosmic Entity was actively filled by the returning lunar rock, mending the moon completely. Even stranger, John could literally feel the moon's newly spinning core as it began producing a magnetic field. A thick, breathable atmosphere rapidly formed around the satellite, creating a lush, blue, habitable biosphere right before his eyes.
Down on Earth, the planet didn't just go back to normal. It somehow evolved.
Any and all pollution was instantly scrubbed from the atmosphere. The ozone layer mended itself perfectly. The suffocating ring of satellite trash in orbit disappeared.
The destroyed infrastructure all over the world didn't just rebuild into boring concrete blocks; it transformed. The shattered cities morphed into a pristine, solar-punk utopia. It matched the exact aesthetic of Kaisen's New Chicago. Towering spires of white metal intertwined with massive, glowing trees. Miracle plants and fruits full of healing properties sprouted across the globe, weaving through the architecture, allowing humanity to perfectly coexist with nature.
Cecil finally stopped cursing.
Meruem loosened his tail, dropping the man to the dirt, and the Director didn't even try to yell. Cecil just stared blankly at the unmade damage. He looked at the flawless green grass beneath his boots and finally at the habitable, blue moon hanging in the sky.
The realization finally hit him past all his pills.
John wasn't lying. John wasn't just a powerful kid with a variety of abilities and a menagerie of weird underlings. He now literally owned a walking, talking, wish-granting god.
And John still had two wishes left.
Everyone present could practically hear the gears turning in Cecil's bureaucratic brain. If Cecil could just get one of those wishes for the GDA, he could secure global dominance forever. He could wish for an invincible defense grid. He could wish for an army of compliant supermen. He could…..
A heavy, scaled hand pressed down on Cecil's shoulder.
Cecil jumped and turned around only to find Neel, Jason, Sebas, and Meruem were all looming over him.
They were looking at the Director menacingly as they read his opportunistic mind like an open children's book.
"I would highly advise against opening your mouth, Mr. Stedman," Sebas said. The butler's voice was polite, but his draconic eyes promised absolute, visceral violence. "Accidents happen so easily in post-war zones."
"Do not even entertain the thought, insect," Meruem added, his tail swishing lazily behind him.
John was too elated to care about Cecil's petty politics. He had a world to save.
"Second wish!" John blurted out, his voice oddly specific to close any loopholes. "Bring back all earthen casualties who died because of the war. Be it human, animal, plant, or anything originating from this planet!"
John paused for a microsecond in his mind.
'Wait. Should I just let all the Kaiju monsters, villains, and super-criminals come back too?' John debated internally. 'If I bring everyone back, that means the bad guys get a free pass.'
Fuck no.
He deliberately decided against it. The most important thing for human civilization right now was a clean reset back to the peace before the war; a war that had actually started less than twenty-four hours ago. The villains could stay in the dirt. They made their beds.
"Excluding active super-villains, violent criminals, and hostile invaders!" John quickly amended.
"BY YOUR WILL."
Shenron announced as Motes of golden light emerged from the ground all over the planet.
The deceased were being resuscitated exactly where they were supposed to be. Families materialized in their living rooms, completely unharmed and bewildered. Animals spawned back in the forests. Atlanteans filled the clean oceans. And for the regular, non-superpowered criminals who had died in the crossfire? They respawned safely inside their locked, reinforced prison cells.
"IT IS DONE," Shenron boomed. The dragon lowered its massive head, looking directly at John. "AND WHAT SHALL BE YOUR THIRD WISH, MASTER?"
John opened his mouth. He had a million ideas ready. He could ask for a broken weapon. He could ask for an invincible passive trait. He could ask to completely sever this Viltrumite Multiverse from the Omniverse forever, for his unchallenged rule.
But he stopped himself before he could utter a single word.
He looked at his hands and felt the infinite energy humming perfectly in his veins, entirely under his control. He had a Divine Mansion that spanned the multiverse. He had an army of immortal shadows. He had a Demon Queen who looked at him like he hung the stars.
He beat the game, finally.
John smiled and took a step back, gesturing toward the group.
"I'm good," John said easily, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "The rightful recipient of the third wish is standing right there."
John pointed directly at the shiny, metallic Soda Hero.
Pepsiman froze. The silver mascot pointed a trembling finger at his own chest, his featureless metallic face somehow conveying absolute, overwhelming shock.
"Pepsi?"
[A/N]:
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