Zindagi kab kis mod par le aaye, yeh koi nahi jaanta. Kabhi sab kuch normal hota hai, aur kabhi ek chhoti si mulaqat poori zindagi badal deti hai.
Meri zindagi bhi bilkul simple thi. Subah uthna, college jaana, doston ke saath time spend karna aur ghar wapas aa jaana — bas yahi routine tha mera. Mujhe lagta tha ki meri life mein kuch khaas nahi hone wala. Sab kuch ekdum normal tha… shaant, seedha aur predictable.
Lekin shayad kismat ko kuch aur hi manzoor tha.
Us din bhi sab kuch usual hi tha. Main college ke corridor mein apni best friend ke saath khadi thi, jab achanak meri nazar us par padi. Pata nahi kyun, lekin uski aankhon mein kuch alag sa tha — jaise ek ajeeb si shanti aur thodi si udaasi.
Maine pehle kabhi use notice nahi kiya tha. Shayad woh naya tha… ya shayad meri nazar us par pehli baar padi thi.
"Kaun hai yeh?" maine dheere se apni friend se pucha.
"Pata nahi… new admission lag raha hai," usne casual tone mein jawab diya.
Bas itni si baat thi… lekin mujhe nahi pata tha ki yeh chhoti si curiosity meri zindagi ka sabse bada hissa ban jayegi.
Uske baad se, pata nahi kyun, meri nazar use dhoondhne lagi. Kabhi library mein, kabhi canteen mein… aur jab bhi woh dikhta, dil ek second ke liye ruk sa jaata.
Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki yeh sirf ek normal attraction hai… ya kuch aur.
Lekin ek baat clear thi — meri zindagi ab pehle jaisi nahi rehne wali thi.
Aur shayad… yeh kahani wahi se shuru hui thi, jahan mujhe lagta tha sab kuch khatam ho jayega.
Chapter 2: Pehli Baat
Kabhi-kabhi ek chhoti si baat bhi dil par gehra asar chhod jaati hai.
Us din main library mein thi. Usually main wahan zyada time spend nahi karti thi, lekin aaj pata nahi kyun wahan aane ka mann hua. Shayad kismat mujhe usse milwana chahti thi.
Main ek corner mein baithi thi, book kholkar, lekin dhyaan kahin aur hi tha. Tabhi kisi ne dheere se kaha,
"Excuse me… yeh seat empty hai?"
Maine upar dekha… aur woh wahi tha.
Mera dil ek second ke liye ruk gaya. Maine bas halki si smile ke saath haan mein sir hila diya.
Woh mere saamne baith gaya. Kuch seconds tak sirf khamoshi thi… lekin woh khamoshi bhi ajeeb si comfortable lag rahi thi.
"Tum first year mein ho?" usne pucha.
"Haan… aur tum?" maine thoda nervous hote hue jawab diya.
"Same," usne muskura kar kaha.
Uski smile… pata nahi kyun, dil ko ek alag hi sukoon de rahi thi.
Us din humne zyada baat nahi ki, lekin jitni bhi hui… woh mere liye kaafi thi.
Jab woh wahan se gaya, toh mujhe laga jaise kuch chhut gaya ho. Shayad yeh sirf ek normal mulaqat thi… ya phir ek nayi kahani ki shuruaat.
Mujhe nahi pata tha ki yeh chhoti si baat meri zindagi ka sabse important hissa banne wali hai.
Chapter 3: Nazdeekiyan
Kabhi-kabhi kuch log bina zyada effort ke hi humari zindagi ka hissa ban jaate hain.
Library wali mulaqat ke baad, humari baatein dheere-dheere badhne lagi. Pehle sirf "hi-hello" hota tha… phir chhoti baatein, aur phir kab yeh aadat ban gayi, pata hi nahi chala.
Ab roz college aane ka ek alag hi reason tha.
Canteen mein ek saath baithna, classes ke beech chhoti si baatein, aur kabhi-kabhi bina wajah hans dena — yeh sab mere din ka sabse achha hissa ban gaya tha.
"Tum itna smile kyun karti ho?" usne ek din mazaak mein pucha.
"Mujhe nahi pata… shayad tumhari wajah se," maine haste hue kaha, lekin andar se sach mein aisa hi lag raha tha.
Woh thoda sa chup ho gaya… phir halka sa muskura diya.
Us din ke baad hum aur close ho gaye.
Ab baatein sirf college tak limited nahi thi. Late night chats, random calls, aur ek dusre ke baare mein chhoti-chhoti cheezein jaan-na — sab kuch special lagne laga tha.
Mujhe lagne laga tha ki shayad yeh sirf dosti nahi hai.
Lekin main darr bhi rahi thi… kyunki kabhi-kabhi jo cheezein hume sabse zyada khushi deti hain, wahi hume sabse zyada hurt bhi karti hain.
Aur shayad… meri kahani bhi ab usi mod ki taraf badh rahi thi.
Chapter 4 EHSAAS
Kabhi-kabhi dil bina bataye hi faisla kar leta hai.
Aaj kal sab kuch alag sa lagne laga tha. Uski presence meri aadat ban chuki thi. Agar ek din bhi usse baat na ho, toh kuch adhura sa lagta tha.
"Tum itni chup kyun ho aaj?" usne canteen mein baithte hue pucha.
"Bas aise hi…" maine nazar chura kar kaha.
Sach toh yeh tha ki main apne hi emotions se confuse thi. Jo main feel kar rahi thi, kya woh dosti thi… ya usse zyada?
"Tum mujhse kuch chhupa rahi ho?" usne thoda serious hote hue pucha.
Maine uski taraf dekha… uski aankhon mein sach jaanne ki ek ajeeb si bechaini thi.
"Tumhe kya lagta hai?" maine dheere se pucha.
Woh kuch seconds tak chup raha… phir bola,
"Mujhe lagta hai… tum badal rahi ho."
Uski yeh baat sun kar mera dil zor se dhadakne laga.
"Shayad…" maine halki si smile ke saath kaha, "tumhari wajah se."
Woh ekdum chup ho gaya. Uski aankhon mein kuch tha… jo main samajh nahi pa rahi thi.
Us din ke baad sab kuch aur intense ho gaya.
Ab har chhoti baat mein uska khayal aata tha. Har message ka wait rehta tha. Aur jab woh online hota… toh dil automatically smile kar deta.
Mujhe samajh aa gaya tha… main usse pyaar karne lagi thi.
Lekin sabse bada sawal yeh tha —
kya woh bhi mujhe feel karta hai?
Chapter 5 iqraar k kareb
Kuch baatein kehna asaan nahi hota… lekin chup rehna usse bhi mushkil hota hai.
Aaj usne mujhe college ke baad rukne ko kaha tha. Mere dil ki dhadkan tab se hi normal nahi ho rahi thi.
"Tumhe kuch important baat karni thi?" maine thoda nervous hote hue pucha.
Woh mere saamne khada tha, lekin aaj uski aankhon mein ek alag hi seriousness thi.
"Haan… hai," usne dheere se kaha.
Kuch seconds tak sirf khamoshi thi. Hawa bhi jaise ruk si gayi thi.
"Main… main kuch dino se notice kar raha hoon…" woh ruk gaya.
"Mujhe lagta hai ki…" usne meri taraf dekha, "hum sirf friends nahi rahe."
Mera dil ek second ke liye ruk gaya.
"Mujhe tum achhi lagti ho," usne finally keh diya.
Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki main kya bolun. Jo main sunna chahti thi, woh aaj mere saamne tha.
"Main bhi…" maine dheere se kaha, "tumhe pasand karti hoon."
Usne halki si smile di… aur us moment mein sab kuch perfect lag raha tha.
Lekin shayad zindagi ko yeh manzoor nahi tha.
Jaise hi main wahan se jaane lagi, maine dekha — uska phone baar-baar ring ho raha tha.
Screen par ek naam flash ho raha tha…
Mera dil ekdum se toot sa gaya.
Woh kaun thi?
Aur sabse bada sawal…
kya main sirf ek galti thi?
Chapter 6: Sach Ka Samna
Kabhi-kabhi ek sach poori zindagi badal deta hai.
Meri nazar uske phone par hi atki reh gayi thi.
Yeh naam mere dimaag mein baar-baar ghoom raha tha. Dil keh raha tha shayad main overthink kar rahi hoon… lekin aankhon ne jo dekha tha, usse ignore karna mushkil tha.
"Tum theek ho?" usne pucha, jab usne meri khamoshi notice ki.
"Haan… main theek hoon," maine jhooth bola.
Lekin main theek nahi thi.
Maine himmat jutayi aur seedha puch liya,
"Yeh Anjali kaun hai?"
Woh ek second ke liye ruk gaya. Uske face par wohi expression tha… jisse main darr rahi thi.
"Woh… bas ek friend hai," usne nazar chura kar kaha.
"Sach?" maine uski aankhon mein dekhte hue pucha.
Woh chup ho gaya.
Uski khamoshi ne sab kuch bata diya.
"Mujhe jhooth mat bolo," maine thodi si heavy voice mein kaha, "main deserve karti hoon sach jaan-na."
Usne gehri saans li… aur phir dheere se bola,
"Anjali… meri girlfriend hai."
Uske yeh words sunte hi sab kuch ruk sa gaya.
Jaise kisi ne mere dil ko zor se tod diya ho.
"Girlfriend?" maine dheere se repeat kiya, jaise main khud hi believe nahi kar pa rahi thi.
"Toh phir main kya hoon?" meri awaaz halki si kaanp rahi thi.
Woh kuch bol nahi paaya.
Aur uski yeh khamoshi… sabse zyada dard de rahi thi.
"Maine tumhe kabhi hurt karna nahi chaha," usne finally kaha.
"Lekin tumne kiya," maine aankhon mein aansu lekar kaha.
Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki main zyada hurt kis baat se hoon —
uske jhooth se… ya apne sach se.
Maine bina kuch aur kahe wahan se jaana hi theek samjha.
Peeche se woh mujhe bula raha tha… lekin is baar main rukna nahi chahti thi.
Us raat main bahut royi.
Shayad isliye nahi ki woh mera nahi tha…
balki isliye ki maine usse apna maan liya tha.
Aur shayad… meri kahani yahin se tootne lagi thi.
Chapter 7: Tootta Hua Dil
Kuch dard aise hote hain jo sirf mehsoos kiye ja sakte hain… bayan nahi.
Us raat main so nahi paayi.
Har baar jab aankhen band karti, uska chehra saamne aa jaata. Uski baatein, uski smile… sab kuch yaad aa raha tha. Aur sabse zyada dard de raha tha — uska sach.
"Meri girlfriend hai…"
Yeh words mere dimaag mein baar-baar ghoom rahe the.
Maine kabhi nahi socha tha ki jis insaan ko main itna apna samajhne lagi thi, woh kisi aur ka hoga.
Subah jab main uthi, toh aankhen suj chuki thi. Lekin dil… woh abhi bhi ussi jagah atka hua tha.
College jaana bhi ek challenge lag raha tha.
Jaise hi main gate ke andar gayi, har jagah uski yaadein thi. Canteen, library, woh bench… sab kuch.
Main usse avoid karna chahti thi… lekin kismat shayad mujhe test kar rahi thi.
Woh mere saamne khada tha.
"Please meri baat suno," usne kaha.
"Ab kya bacha hai sunne ke liye?" maine thodi si gusse aur dard bhari awaaz mein kaha.
"Maine tumhe hurt karne ka intention nahi tha…"
"Intentions se zyada actions matter karte hain," maine uski baat kaat di.
Woh chup ho gaya.
"Mujhe bas ek baat batao," maine dheere se pucha, "kya jo bhi tumne mere saath feel karaya… woh sab jhooth tha?"
Woh meri taraf dekhta raha… lekin kuch bola nahi.
Aur uski yeh khamoshi hi mera jawab thi.
Maine apni aankhon ke aansu rokne ki koshish ki… lekin is baar main fail ho gayi.
"Please… ab mujhe akela chhod do," maine kaha.
Main wahan se chali gayi… lekin apne saath ek tootta hua dil le kar.
Us din maine decide kar liya tha —
ab main usse nahi, khud ko choose karungi.
Lekin sach toh yeh hai…
khud ko sambhalna bhi itna aasaan nahi hota.Kabhi-kabhi sabse mushkil safar hota hai… khud tak wapas aane ka.
Us din ke baad maine usse avoid karna start kar diya. Na calls, na messages… jaise main usse apni zindagi se dheere-dheere mita rahi thi.
Lekin sach yeh tha ki usse bhoolna itna aasaan nahi tha.
Har jagah uski yaadein thi. Har chhoti cheez mujhe uski yaad dilati thi. Kabhi hasi, kabhi uski awaaz… sab kuch.
Main akeli rehna pasand karne lagi thi.
Room ka ek kone, headphones, aur main… bas itna hi kaafi tha.
Lekin ek din mirror ke saamne khadi hui, maine khud ko dekha.
Aankhon ke neeche dark circles, chehre par thakan… aur ek aisi ladki jo khud ko kho chuki thi.
"Yeh main hoon?" maine dheere se khud se pucha.
Us moment mujhe realize hua —
main kisi aur ke chakkar mein khud ko bhool chuki thi.
Aur shayad ab waqt aa gaya tha… khud ko wapas paane ka.
Us din maine decide kiya —
main roongi nahi… main tootungi nahi…
main khud ko dobara banaungi.
Slowly maine apni routine change karni shuru ki. Padhai par focus, khud ke liye time, aur sabse important — khud se pyaar karna.
Dard ab bhi tha… lekin ab main us dard se bhaag nahi rahi thi.
Main usse face kar rahi thi.
Aur shayad… wahi meri healing ki shuruaat
Thi.
Chapter 8 khud se mulaqat
Kabhi-kabhi sabse mushkil safar hota hai… khud tak wapas aane ka.
Us din ke baad maine usse avoid karna start kar diya. Na calls, na messages… jaise main usse apni zindagi se dheere-dheere mita rahi thi.
Lekin sach yeh tha ki usse bhoolna itna aasaan nahi tha.
Har jagah uski yaadein thi. Har chhoti cheez mujhe uski yaad dilati thi. Kabhi hasi, kabhi uski awaaz… sab kuch.
Main akeli rehna pasand karne lagi thi.
Room ka ek kone, headphones, aur main… bas itna hi kaafi tha.
Lekin ek din mirror ke saamne khadi hui, maine khud ko dekha.
Aankhon ke neeche dark circles, chehre par thakan… aur ek aisi ladki jo khud ko kho chuki thi.
"Yeh main hoon?" maine dheere se khud se pucha.
Us moment mujhe realize hua —
main kisi aur ke chakkar mein khud ko bhool chuki thi.
Aur shayad ab waqt aa gaya tha… khud ko wapas paane ka.
Us din maine decide kiya —
main roongi nahi… main tootungi nahi…
main khud ko dobara banaungi.
Slowly maine apni routine change karni shuru ki. Padhai par focus, khud ke liye time, aur sabse important — khud se pyaar karna.
Dard ab bhi tha… lekin ab main us dard se bhaag nahi rahi thi.
Main usse face kar rahi thi.
Aur shayad… wahi meri healing ki shuruaat thi.
Chapter 9: Nayi Shuruaat
Har end ke baad ek nayi beginning hoti hai… bas himmat chahiye use accept karne ki.
Ab sab kuch dheere-dheere badalne laga tha.
Main pehle wali main nahi rahi thi. Ab main strong thi… thodi chup thi, lekin andar se pehle se zyada powerful.
College jana ab bhi easy nahi tha… lekin main apne aap ko push karti thi.
Ek din canteen mein baithi thi, tab achanak woh saamne aa gaya.
Mera dil ek second ke liye ruk gaya… lekin is baar maine khud ko sambhal liya.
"Hi…" usne dheere se kaha.
Maine uski taraf dekha… aur sirf ek simple sa "Hi" bolkar wapas apni coffee ki taraf dekhne lagi.
Na gussa… na dard dikhaya… bas ek ajeeb si shanti thi.
Woh shayad kuch aur kehna chahta tha, lekin main uth kar wahan se chali gayi.
Is baar main bhaag nahi rahi thi…
main bas apni value samajh chuki thi.
Raat ko jab main apne room mein thi, maine ek diary nikali aur likha:
"Aaj maine khud ko choose kiya."
Aur shayad… yeh meri zindagi ka sabse sahi decision tha.
Mujhe nahi pata future mein kya hoga…
lekin ab main ready thi — kisi ke liye nahi,
khud ke liye jeene ke liye.
Chapter 10: Wapas Aana
Kuch log zindagi se jaate nahi… bas thodi der ke liye door ho jaate hain.
Sab kuch normal ho raha tha. Main apni life mein busy rehne lagi thi. Padhai, khud ka time, aur thodi si shanti… ab main handle karna seekh chuki thi.
Lekin shayad zindagi ko meri yeh shanti pasand nahi thi.
Us din main library mein thi, jab kisi ne mere saamne aakar khada ho gaya.
"Can we talk?" uski awaaz sunte hi mera dil ek second ke liye ruk gaya.
Woh… wapas aa gaya tha.
Maine uski taraf dekha. Aankhon mein wahi guilt tha… aur shayad kuch aur bhi.
"Mujhe tumse koi baat nahi karni," maine seedha kaha.
"Please… bas ek baar meri baat sun lo," usne almost request karte hue kaha.
Main kuch seconds tak usse dekhti rahi… phir chupchaap baith gayi.
"Main jaanta hoon maine galti ki," usne dheere se kaha, "lekin jo maine feel kiya… woh jhooth nahi tha."
Maine halka sa sarcastic smile diya,
"Achha? Toh tumhari girlfriend bhi jhooth hai ya main?"
Woh chup ho gaya.
"Main confuse tha…" usne finally kaha.
"Confuse?" maine thoda gusse se repeat kiya, "feelings mein confuse nahi hote… log hote hain."
Usne meri taraf dekha, aankhon mein regret clearly dikh raha tha.
"Main usse break up kar chuka hoon," usne dheere se kaha.
Mera dil phir se hil gaya… lekin is baar maine apne aap ko control kiya.
"Late ho gaya," maine shanti se jawab diya.
"Please ek chance de do," usne kaha, "main sab theek kar dunga."
Maine uski aankhon mein dekha… pehle jaisi feelings shayad ab bhi kahin na kahin thi.
Lekin ab main woh ladki nahi thi jo kisi aur ke liye khud ko tod de.
"Sab kuch theek ho sakta hai…" maine dheere se kaha,
"lekin sab wapas nahi aa sakta."
Woh bas mujhe dekhta reh gaya.
Aur main… usse chhod kar wahan se chali gayi.
Is baar main royi nahi.
Kyuki is baar maine apni value samajh li thi.
Lekin kahani abhi khatam nahi hui thi…
Kyuki zindagi kabhi itni simple nahi hoti.
Chapter 11: Ek Nayi Entry
Kabhi-kabhi zindagi kisi ko le jaati hai… aur kisi aur ko laati hai.
Aaj ka din normal hi shuru hua tha. Main class mein baithi thi, apni notes complete karte hue, jab professor ne announce kiya:
"Class, we have a new student joining today."
Maine zyada dhyaan nahi diya… lekin jaise hi woh andar aaya, poori class ek second ke liye chup ho gayi.
Woh confident tha… thoda alag, thoda mysterious.
"Hi, I'm Aarav," usne smile ke saath introduce kiya.
Maine bas ek normal si nazar daali… lekin pata nahi kyun, uski presence noticeable thi.
Class ke baad main corridor mein ja rahi thi, tab kisi ne peeche se awaaz di,
"Excuse me… tum first year mein ho na?"
Maine mudkar dekha… woh Aarav tha.
"Haan," maine simple sa jawab diya.
"Main naya hoon… socha thodi help mil jaaye," usne halka sa smile ke saath kaha.
Uski tone friendly thi… bina kisi awkwardness ke.
"Sure," maine kaha, "kya help chahiye?"
Aur bas… wahan se ek nayi baat shuru hui.
Uske saath baat karna easy tha. Koi pressure nahi, koi confusion nahi… bas ek normal si baat jo achhi lag rahi thi.
Door se koi hume dekh raha tha.
Woh.
Uski aankhon mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi… jaise usse kuch pasand nahi aa raha ho.
Aur shayad pehli baar… usse realize ho raha tha ki
main uski life ka option nahi hoon.
Aarav ne haste hue kaha,
"Tumhari smile achhi hai… use hide mat kiya karo."
Main thoda surprise hui… lekin is baar maine apni smile roki nahi.
Shayad zindagi mujhe ek second chance de rahi thi.
Lekin sawaal yeh tha —
kya main phir se kisi par trust kar paungi?
Chapter 12: Jalan
Kabhi-kabhi hum tab realize karte hain ki kisi ki value kya hai… jab woh humse door jaane lagta hai.
Aaj kal Aarav aur meri baatein thodi badhne lagi thi. Kuch khaas nahi… bas normal si conversations, lekin unmein ek ajeeb si comfort thi.
Main canteen mein baithi thi, aur Aarav mere saamne.
"Tum itni chup kyun rehti ho?" usne coffee sip karte hue pucha.
"Main aisi hi hoon," maine halki si smile ke saath kaha.
"Hmm… lekin mujhe lagta hai tumhare paas kehne ke liye kaafi kuch hai," usne meri aankhon mein dekhte hue kaha.
Main kuch bol nahi paayi.
Tabhi achanak kisi ne table par haath rakha.
"Mujhe tumse baat karni hai."
Maine upar dekha… woh tha.
Uski aankhon mein gussa clearly dikh raha tha.
"Abhi?" maine calmly pucha.
"Haan, abhi," usne thoda forceful tone mein kaha.
Aarav ne situation samajh li.
"Main wait kar leta hoon," usne casually kaha.
"Zarurat nahi," maine seedha jawab diya.
Main uth kar uske saath side mein chali gayi.
"Yeh sab kya chal raha hai?" usne seedha pucha.
"Kya?" maine normal tone mein kaha.
"Tum aur woh…" usne irritate hote hue kaha.
Maine uski aankhon mein dekha…
"Tumhe kya farq padta hai?"
Woh ek second ke liye chup ho gaya.
"Padta hai," usne dheere se kaha.
Mujhe halki si hansi aa gayi…
"Ab yaad aaya?"
"Main serious hoon," usne kaha, "mujhe tum kisi aur ke saath dekhna pasand nahi."
"Funny," maine sarcastically kaha, "mujhe bhi tumhe kisi aur ke saath dekhna pasand nahi tha… lekin tab tumhe farq nahi pada."
Uske paas jawab nahi tha.
"Main badal gaya hoon," usne finally kaha.
"Lekin main bhi badal gayi hoon," maine seedha jawab diya.
Kuch seconds tak sirf khamoshi thi.
"Tum usse like karti ho?" usne dheere se pucha.
Maine uski taraf dekha… phir Aarav ki taraf, jo door se hume dekh raha tha.
"Main ab kisi ko hurt nahi karna chahti… especially khud ko," maine calmly kaha.
Aur itna kehkar main wapas Aarav ke paas aa gayi.
"Sab theek?" Aarav ne pucha.
"Haan," maine halki si smile ke saath kaha.
Lekin andar se sab kuch abhi bhi complicated tha.
Kyuki kahani ab sirf past aur present ki nahi thi…
yeh ab ek choice ban chuki thi.Chapter 13: Sukoon
Kabhi-kabhi kisi ki presence hi kaafi hoti hai… bina kuch kahe sab samajh jaane ke liye.
Aaj ka din thoda heavy tha. Jo kuch bhi hua, usne mujhe andar se thoda disturb kar diya tha. Main class ke baad seedha ghar jaana chahti thi… lekin Aarav ne rok liya.
"Walk pe chalein?" usne casually pucha.
Maine thoda socha… phir haan keh diya.
Shayad mujhe kisi se baat karne ki zarurat thi.
Hum dono college ke paas wale park mein chal rahe the. Shaam ka waqt tha, halki hawa chal rahi thi… aur sab kuch thoda shaant lag raha tha.
"Tum theek nahi ho," Aarav ne seedha kaha.
Maine uski taraf dekha…
"Tumhe kaise pata?"
"Tumhari aankhon se," usne halka sa smile karte hue kaha.
Main kuch seconds tak chup rahi… phir dheere se boli,
"Kabhi-kabhi past itni easily peecha nahi chhodta."
Woh ruk gaya… aur meri taraf mudkar bola,
"Past ko hum control nahi kar sakte… lekin future ka choice humare haath mein hota hai."
Uski baat simple thi… lekin dil ko touch kar gayi.
"Main trust karne se darr rahi hoon," maine finally admit kiya.
Aarav ne bina kisi hesitation ke kaha,
"Darna normal hai… lekin har insaan same nahi hota."
Uski aankhon mein ek sachchai thi… jo mujhe feel ho rahi thi.
Kuch der hum bina bole chalne lage. Lekin woh silence uncomfortable nahi tha… balki ek sukoon sa tha.
"Tum strong ho," Aarav ne achanak kaha.
Maine thodi si smile di,
"Strong banna pada."
"Good," usne halka sa smile ke saath kaha, "kyunki weak log apni kahani khud nahi likhte."
Uski yeh line mere dil mein kahin baith gayi.
Pata nahi kyun… lekin uske saath rehkar mujhe ek alag si shanti mil rahi thi.
Jaise koi mujhe samajh raha ho… bina mujhe explain kiye.
Shayad yeh feeling pyaar nahi thi…
lekin yeh kuch toh tha.
Aur iss baar… main jaldi decision nahi lena chahti thi.
Chapter 14: Aakhri Koshish
Kabhi-kabhi kuch log haar maan lete hain… aur kuch log aakhri baar ladte hain.
Aaj sab kuch thoda ajeeb sa lag raha tha. Dil bechain tha, jaise kuch hone wala ho.
Main college ke gate se bahar nikal hi rahi thi, tab usne mera raasta rok liya.
"Mujhe tumse baat karni hai… last time," uski awaaz mein ek alag si seriousness thi.
Maine gehri saans li…
"Tumhe har baar 'last time' hi kyun yaad aata hai?"
"Kyuki main sach mein last chance maang raha hoon," usne dheere se kaha.
Main chup ho gayi.
"Main tumhe lose nahi kar sakta," usne aankhon mein dekhte hue kaha, "main jaanta hoon maine galti ki… lekin main tumse sach mein pyaar karta hoon."
Yeh words sunte hi dil ek second ke liye phir se hil gaya.
"Pyaar?" maine dheere se repeat kiya, "pyaar woh hota hai jahan doubt nahi hota… jahan kisi aur ke liye jagah nahi hoti."
"Main change ho gaya hoon," usne almost plead karte hue kaha.
"Mujhe tumhari zarurat hai."
Maine uski aankhon mein dekha… pehle jaisi feelings ab bhi kahin thi, lekin ab unse zyada meri self-respect important thi.
"Jab mujhe tumhari zarurat thi… tab tum nahi the," maine shanti se kaha.
Woh chup ho gaya… lekin uski aankhon mein aansu aa gaye the.
"Main sab theek kar dunga… bas ek chance de do," usne phir kaha.
Maine sir hila diya,
"Kuch cheezein theek nahi hoti… sirf khatam ho jaati hain."
Usne dheere se pucha,
"Woh… Aarav… kya tum usse pyaar karti ho?"
Main kuch seconds tak chup rahi.
"Mujhe nahi pata," maine sach bola, "lekin main itna jaanti hoon ki main ab khud ko hurt nahi karna chahti."
Usne aankhen band kar li… jaise woh sab accept kar raha ho.
"Yeh meri last koshish thi," usne dheere se kaha.
"Goodbye."
Mera dil phir se heavy ho gaya… lekin is baar maine apne aap ko roka nahi.
Main wahan se chali gayi.
Is baar main toot nahi rahi thi…
main bas aage badh rahi thi.
Lekin kahani abhi bhi khatam nahi hui thi…
Kyuki ab meri zindagi ek naye faisle ki taraf badh rahi thi.
Chapter 15: Naya Ehsaas
Kabhi-kabhi zindagi hume ek aur mauka deti hai… lekin iss baar faisla dil se nahi, samajh se lena padta hai.
Aaj ka din shaant tha… lekin mere andar ek ajeeb si halchal chal rahi thi. Jo kuch bhi hua tha, usne mujhe badal diya tha.
Main park mein akeli baithi thi, jab Aarav mere paas aaya.
"Tum yahan ho… main tumhe dhoond raha tha," usne halka sa smile karte hue kaha.
"Bas thoda time chahiye tha khud ke saath," maine dheere se jawab diya.
Woh mere paas baith gaya. Kuch der tak hum dono chup rahe.
Lekin us silence mein bhi ek comfort tha.
"Tum strong ho," usne phir se kaha, "lekin har strong insaan ke andar ek soft side bhi hoti hai."
Maine uski taraf dekha…
"Tumhe kaise pata?"
"Kyuki main tumhe samajhne laga hoon," usne seedha jawab diya.
Mera dil thoda fast dhadakne laga.
"Aur shayad… main tumhe pasand karne laga hoon," usne dheere se kaha.
Maine aankhen jhuka li.
Yeh sab itna jaldi ho raha tha… aur main phir se kisi feeling mein girne se darr rahi thi.
"Main tumhe force nahi karunga," Aarav ne calmly kaha, "main bas itna chahta hoon ki tum khush raho… chahe woh mere saath ho ya bina mere."
Uski yeh baat mere dil ko touch kar gayi.
Koi pehli baar mujhe bina condition ke accept kar raha tha.
"Mujhe darr lagta hai," maine honestly kaha.
"Kis baat se?" usne pucha.
"Phir se tootne se," maine dheere se jawab diya.
Aarav ne halki si smile ke saath kaha,
"Toh is baar dheere chalenge… bina jaldi ke."
Uski aankhon mein koi jaldbaazi nahi thi… sirf ek sachcha sa ehsaas tha.
Maine uski taraf dekha… aur pehli baar mujhe laga ki shayad main phir se trust kar sakti hoon.
"Main try karna chahti hoon," maine dheere se kaha.
Uske chehre par ek halka sa relief aur khushi dikhayi di.
"Bas itna hi kaafi hai," usne kaha.
Shayad yeh pyaar nahi tha… abhi nahi.
Lekin yeh ek nayi shuruaat zaroor thi.
Aur iss baar… main khud ko kho kar nahi,
khud ko paakar aage badh rahi th